Canadian Buffoon's Solo Disney Vacation - Update 07/08! pp99 - Here today gone tomorrow

[pkondz]

I have been to Canada quite a bit. Use to have a client in Alberta, that had offices in Calgary and Nunavut(I think that is how you spell it.)

So.... you're saying you've been around.


And yep. That's how you spell it.

Never went to Nunavut, but loved the name.

I've seen a tiny bit of it.
Hopped on a freighter that hit a couple towns.
I walked around one town, saw the other one from the cockpit window.

Also, have been to Niagara, and my mother grow up on a farm in the deep north of Maine. So use to spend summers on the farm there, and we would go to Canada all the time. A little town in Maine called Houlton, that is right on the border.

Right close to Fredericton.
Did you go there for "big city life"? Or Bangor?

The winters were killer, but the view of nature was spectacular, even for a child.

I hear that.
You might have seen a little bit of snow at one point?

Go for it! I steal most...ok, all of my best lines.

You too?!?

Where will it end!!!

 

[Glittercat]

Hi!

Hi there!

Over the past few years I've been collecting a list of must dos/want to dos.
Here's a partial list of things I hoped to do over the course of the trip.
That's in addition to going on rides/seeing shows.

I shamelessly -okay maybe a touch of shame involved-stole your list.

Yeah. That's not a good enough reason.
I just couldn't do it.
I turned it back.

I just hope that I made someone out there happy. I'll never know.

awwww. so sweet.

Don't worry. I'll be brief.

What?

Is anyone else having a Back to the Future flashback?
"Calvin? Why do you keep calling me Calvin?"
"Well, that is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein? It's written all over your underwear."

Ruby: "How was your day?"
Me: "Fine. Just gotta do something..."
Elle: "Dad! Guess what? I made honour roll at school!"
Me: "Uh, great, hang on, okay?"
Kay: "I burned the school down and now I'm going to prison!"
Me: "Great, great. Just a sec, okay?"
Dog: "Bark, bark, barkitty, bark, bark, woof!"
Me: "In the bedroom, tall dresser, third drawer, beside the socks."

hehe

Ruby drives the cad to the airport.

The agent asked me to go through it again, this time "Walk. Don't dance, okay? Just walk."

I refrained from calling for pizza and instead sashayed up to the window.

Your first sashay of the trip!

I put my best 'I'm not a terrorist' face on, handed over my passport and prepared to answer the standard questions.

My husband is half Basque and is eyed suspiciously every single time we fly.

Apparently her father had suffered a stroke and was in ICU in an Orlando area hospital.
She was panicking that her Dad's ex would interfere with his care and was trying to arrange things on the fly.
She finally wound up her phone calls and looked absolutely miserable.
I handed her a napkin and asked her if she was all right and listened to her as she told me her story.
Makes you realize that you should be thankful for the times when you're happy.
There may be dark clouds on the horizon.

You've a good soul, by the way this made me cry.

The other thing I got was a Birthday button.

The mythical BIRTHDAY BUTTON, I'm so excited that I might actually get one of these next time!!!

CM: "Okay, you're in room 9547 in Jazz section."

Cool beans that you got the room you desired!

I was in an accessible room.

*shakes head laughing* Well, as one in a wheelchair that can never seem to snag an accessible room, I'm just befuddled. At the Poly though I'm pretty sure we get one! Yay!
Your room looked quite comfy.

 

[pkondz]

Hi there!

You're just trying to get me in trouble with Tracy, aren't you?

I shamelessly -okay maybe a touch of shame involved-stole your list.

Actually, I'm flattered!
Just note, (if you haven't already) that the Candy Lady is no longer in Japan.

awwww. so sweet.

Or stupid. The jury's still out.

But they're leaning towards stupid.

Your first sashay of the trip!

I did?
Huh. I doubt I'll do it again.

My husband is half Basque and is eyed suspiciously every single time we fly.

Because they don't "do" racial profiling.

Uh, huh.

Right.

You've a good soul, by the way this made me cry.

Oh, no! I made another one cry!
I keep having that affect on women!!

The mythical BIRTHDAY BUTTON, I'm so excited that I might actually get one of these next time!!!

Well if I'd known you wanted one, I could've given you mine.

Cool beans that you got the room you desired!

*shakes head laughing* Well, as one in a wheelchair that can never seem to snag an accessible room, I'm just befuddled. At the Poly though I'm pretty sure we get one! Yay!
Your room looked quite comfy.

I didn't know you then (but I'm glad I do now! )
but I definitely would've thought of you if I had!

And really? They don't have accessible rooms available for you?
Do you not ask, or are they always sold out?

 

[pkondz]

I've put a few hours into the next chapter and....
I think I'm going to break the rest of the day in two.
It's just getting too long.
Update coming probably tomorrow.

Unless I change my mind again....

 

[orangecats2]

Waiting...

I'm sick AGAIN!!! I have a sore throat! I hope it goes away quickly. I'm supposed to spend the weekend with my mother while DH is at a ComicCon in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. I went with him last year and was bored because it is a small one and not much there.

 

[pkondz]

I'm sick AGAIN!!! I have a sore throat!

Oh, no! Again??
What are you doing? Hanging around sick kids or something?
(At least my kids do it to me... every September.)

I'm supposed to spend the weekend with my mother while DH is at a ComicCon in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. I went with him last year and was bored because it is a small one and not much there.

I wonder what you'd think of ours.
To me it's pretty big... but it's the only one I've ever been to so I have nothing to compare to.

 

[orangecats2]

Technically it's not a really a ComicCon. It's really just for independant artists/graphic novelists. Not much for people like me who like mainstream stuff. It's called Appleseed.

Why is Andy here commenting when he should be updating his own TR?

 

[pkondz]

Technically it's not a really a ComicCon. It's really just for independant artists/graphic novelists. Not much for people like me who like mainstream stuff. It's called Appleseed.

Ah, okay. Got it.

Why is Andy here commenting when he should be updating his own TR?

Because he knows how to prioritize.

Actually, I do the same.
I respond to others' TRs before I come to my own.
I know how nice it feels when people post on your TR.
I get a little shiver of excitement every time I check the
"Unread Watched Threads" and see that someone's posted on my TR.

Hitting the sack now.
G'night Carrie.

 

[shan23877]

Thanks for the CoP info Ponzi! I have so many random snippets of memory from that trip. The only other attractions that I really remember from that trip are IaSW and Country Bears! And I remember being too short to ride Space alone-and my grandparents weren't doing that. LOL

Does anyone else remember a tree that everyone stuck their gum to at WDW? This would have been in the summer of '84. Maybe that wasn't at WDW, but somewhere else?

And I LOVE my points. I am VERY short, so I have to be a little mean so that no one thinks I'm a push over. Never to my friends though I like us to join forces and be extra mean together

Yay for a nice lunch! I'm trying Le Cell for the first time this summer. We're on the DxDP so I'll probably end up with a giant steak. Soup too though!

I too think LwtL and pretty boring. I'm a terrible gardener, and I sure don't have a passion for it. I'd rather skip it most of the time

 

[pkondz]

Thanks for the CoP info Ponzi! I have so many random snippets of memory from that trip. The only other attractions that I really remember from that trip are IaSW and Country Bears! And I remember being too short to ride Space alone-and my grandparents weren't doing that. LOL

Funny what we remember.
I don't remember everything, but some things stick out more than others.
I don't remember whether or not we saw Country Bears. We may have...
I just don't remember.

Does anyone else remember a tree that everyone stuck their gum to at WDW? This would have been in the summer of '84. Maybe that wasn't at WDW, but somewhere else?

What?!??
Was that an E ticket ride?
"Step right up folks! Place your gum on the same tree ol' Walt himself did!"

All those people. Sticking their gum to a tree.
Eventually it became.... Splash Mountain!

And I LOVE my points.

I am VERY short, so I have to be a little mean so that no one thinks I'm a push over.

5'0"? That's my guess anyway.
But... I guess I'd better not get in your way then!

Never to my friends though I like us to join forces and be extra mean together

Did I ever tell you how much I like you, Shan?

Yay for a nice lunch! I'm trying Le Cell for the first time this summer. We're on the DxDP so I'll probably end up with a giant steak. Soup too though!

I'm curious to see what you'll think of the soup.
I'm starting to wonder if my reaction to it was more based on
high expectations and not being overly hungry.

I too think LwtL and pretty boring. I'm a terrible gardener, and I sure don't have a passion for it. I'd rather skip it most of the time

I have a brown thumb.
I kill every plant that I touch.

 

[pkondz]

Heads up for any procrastinators!
New chapter coming up... this evening!

 

[afwdwfan]

Does anyone else remember a tree that everyone stuck their gum to at WDW? This would have been in the summer of '84. Maybe that wasn't at WDW, but somewhere else?

I don't remember one at WDW. I'm sure between the "no gum sales" and the fact that back in the early 80's they really did a great job keeping things clean probably would have kept that at bay. I mean, I guess there could have been, but I just don't remember.

However, at Kings Island - near Cincinnati. There was, maybe still is, a tree along the queue for White Water Canyon (think Kali River Rapids only better and longer) that was covered in bubble gum. I'm guessing this could be a common thing at other parks as well?

 

[Thumper_Man]

Heads up for any procrastinators!
New chapter coming up... this evening!

Hope I'm not too late with my guesses then.

What you gotta have in France is a slushie (either Grey Goose or Gran Marnier). Can't visit France at Epcot and not have a slushie.
2 other people with you on the ride.
Burning bush is on the island.

Oh and love the cheese soup. Lady H bought a recipe book that has most of the WDW and DLR recipes. It has the recipe for the soup. Now I'm hungry. I'll have to get Lady H to make some now.

 

[pkondz]

However, at Kings Island - near Cincinnati. There was, maybe still is, a tree along the queue for White Water Canyon (think Kali River Rapids only better and longer) that was covered in bubble gum. I'm guessing this could be a common thing at other parks as well?

Wow! Isn't that... uh.... gross.

Hope I'm not too late with my guesses then.

Nope! Right on time.

What you gotta have in France is a slushie (either Grey Goose or Gran Marnier). Can't visit France at Epcot and not have a slushie.
2 other people with you on the ride.
Burning bush is on the island.

Noted!

Oh and love the cheese soup. Lady H bought a recipe book that has most of the WDW and DLR recipes. It has the recipe for the soup. Now I'm hungry. I'll have to get Lady H to make some now.

Have her whip up a batch and send some this way.
Gotta see if it was just a one off as far as my taste buds go.
Purely for science, you understand.

 

[pkondz]

I know you're waiting, Carrie...
Just on the final proof-read now.

 

[RMColosimo]

I know you're waiting, Carrie...
Just on the final proof-read now.

Slow and Steady wins the Race!

 

[orangecats2]

I definately think the cheese soup they sell at the kiosk is different then what they sell at the restaurant. I have my own cheese soup recipe that's really good too. It's all Velveeta. You first make a rue though and add vegetables. It's a recipe we got from a local tea room/restaurant. No beer in it though. I can't imagine any cheese soup being better than that. I didn't try it at Le Cellier because we were on the dining plan and it doesn't include apps. I didn't want to pay more since I hadn't liked it before.

I see the new update is coming up...finally!!!

 

[Thumper_Man]

Have her whip up a batch and send some this way.
Gotta see if it was just a one off as far as my taste buds go.
Purely for science, you understand.

She said if....

Wait a minute. How did I become the middle man here? I'll have her come to tell you if she wants to or not.

 

[pkondz]

Slow and Steady wins the Race!

See Carrie? Someone knows good things take time.
And even the lousy things do too.
Prove it to you in a second.

Carrie?

Carrie?

Hello? Is this thing on?

I definately think the cheese soup they sell at the kiosk is different then what they sell at the restaurant. I have my own cheese soup recipe that's really good too. It's all Velveeta. You first make a rue though and add vegetables. It's a recipe we got from a local tea room/restaurant. No beer in it though. I can't imagine any cheese soup being better than that. I didn't try it at Le Cellier because we were on the dining plan and it doesn't include apps. I didn't want to pay more since I hadn't liked it before.

I wonder if you could've had it if it was your main course, like mine was.
I'm not a big fan of Velveeta so I don't know if I'd like yours or not.
But it does sound good. Do you purée yours too?

I see the new update is coming up...finally!!!

In a couple of seconds.
As soon as DISboards lets me post again.

Wait a minute. How did I become the middle man here? I'll have her come to tell you if she wants to or not.

Do that! I haven't seen her around in ages!

 

[pkondz]

Looking for Nemo

I last left you with myself scurrying off in the general direction of the....
tapstiles.
That's official now.
Turnstiles doesn't cut it.
And post-things-that-you-put-your-magic-band-up-to-then-scan-your-finger,
is just too dang long.
Oh... and PTTYPYMBUTTSYF or Pity-pim-butt-sniff is just too confusing.
(But does have a nice ring to it.)


So tapstiles it is.
Before I went through them, I paused to take one last picture.

I was pretty sure I'd be back this way later on, but...
you never know.
I might just head back to the hotel for a nap.
(Right, Tracy?)


It is the last photo of this chapter, however.
And I really don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Judge for yourselves.


At the beginning of this TR, I alluded to a few surprises that would come up.
I later mentioned that there were two big ones.
You've already seen one (DISmeet with Dawn, Dale & Caitlin).

I also mentioned that the other one was an experience that
"I'm pretty sure most of you haven't done."

In the last chapter, I ended with this:

Finally... Finally!
I was heading out to do something that I'd never thought I'd do.
Something that I'm willing to bet very few,
possibly none of you reading this, have done.
And it's going to blow your minds.
I'm not going to make it a bonus point question.
But feel free to guess what it might be.

Oh, man! I am so stoked to tell you all about it.... next time.

Of course, now that I've built it up so much...
Now that it's finally going to happen...
You'll probably all give me a collective "Meh."

Ah well. Hopefully some of you will still enjoy it.


There were some pretty good guesses as to what it could be, out there.
Even though I refrained from making it a bonus point question.

Oh, and speaking of bonus points....


The Contest

The answer to those burning... er, Bonus questions!

1. What did I need to make me feel more at ease in France?
Answer: Dessert, of course! Dessert makes everything better.

2. How many people were on Living With the Land with me? (Hint: < 10)
Answer: All by myself...

3. Find the burning bush.
Answer:

(I hate that picture... but it was the only one of the garden.
I figured I could use it anyway.)


Bonus points awarded as follows:
2 points for each correct answer, plus 2 points for being first to get 'em all.

KathyM2 - - 0 - - 2 points
Gracefulskinny - - 0 - - 2 points
bankr63 - dessert - 0 - tree - 8 points
Scoobymoons - easel or slush - 0 - American Adventure - 2 points
Susan R - sprouts... for throwing - 0 - tree - 4 points
(almost deducted... but since you clarified they were for throwing...)
TheLittleKatie - - 0 - - 2 points
courtneybelle - champagne - 2 - Morocco - 0 points (at least you're consistent!)
DonnaBeeGood - dessert (close enough) - 0 - candles - 4 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - dessert - 0 - tree - 6 points
orangecats2 - skywriting Jesus - 0 - Canada bush - 2 points
Captain_Oblivious - slushie - 4 - tree - 2 points
RMColosimo - pot - 2.5 - right there - 0 points
Steppesister - several - 0 - tree - 4 points
Tracy161 - several - 0 - - 2 points
Sandy Mouse - details - 0 - France picture - 2 points
RGirl - croissant - 1 - race to Mt. Horeb - 0 points
afwdwfan - Grand Marnier slush - 0 - trunk in pot - 2 points (should've stuck with your first guess)
Thumper_Man - slushie - 2 - island bush - 0 points



And bonus, bonus points to:

Gracefulskinny - 2 points for tap dancing with stile.
bankr63 - 1 point for being the first with a Petty guess.
quandrea - 1 point for subbing.
Scoobymoons - 2 points for practically perfect condiments. 1 point for being on a roll. 1 point for tiny kimonos.
TheLittleKatie - 1 point for being easily appeased. 1 point for knowing her priorities.
courtneybelle - 1 point because ya gotta love a girl who loves steak.
DonnaBeeGood - 2 points for taking one for the team. 2 points for condiment storage.
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes - 1 point for mutual disdain of certain veggies. 1 point for much rejoicing.
Captain_Oblivious - 3 points for proof of Heaven. 2 points for family.
RMColosimo - 2 points because I like someone who'll guess 2.5 people.
Sandy Mouse - 1 point for homicidal tendencies.
@Steppesister - 1 point for eye candy.
orangecats2 - 1 point for sharing dinner with everyone. (Even though it had an appalling lack of condiments.)
Tracy161 - 2 points for travel buddies. And 1 point to ease the totally understandable jealousy.
RGirl - 2 points for falling down drunk... dead! I mean dead! Not that I want you dead! Oh, crap. Here... Have another point.
afwdwfan - 2 points for doing more than the minimum.
Glittercat - 2 points because I made her cry.
shan23877 - 2 points because she may be small, but she's feisty.


Contest points so far

orangecats2 31 points
afwdwfan 29 points
Sandy Mouse 25 points
Scoobymoons 21 points
Tracy161 21 points
Rgirl 19 points
MAGICFOR2 18 points
Susan R 18 points
Captain_Oblivious 17 points
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes 17 points
Laura74 17 points
shan23877 17 points
bankr63 16 points
dawnbu40 15 points
DonnaBeeGood 13 points
Steppesister 12 points
dgthree 10 points
ForeverDance 9 points
RockinDisney 9 points
KatMark 8 points
Thumper_Man 8 points
courtneybelle 7 points
ddstratton 6 points
lisaviolet 6 points
mmeb144 6 points
Backstage_Gal 5 points
TheLittleKatie 5 points
Gracefulskinny 4 points
KathyM2 4 points
Self_resqing_princz 3 points
Glittercat - 2 points
LookinUp 2 points
RMColosimo 2 points
quandrea 1 point

(And the usual disclaimer, if you notice an error, tell me!)


As I was saying,
there were some pretty good guesses out there.

I had guesses ranging from trains, to walks.
(Really Roni? Would a stroll to DHS really have amazed you?)

Captain_Oblivious even went the taboo route, guessing:
1. Refilling a mug at a wrong resort,
2. Pool hopping; or <gasp>
3. Taking the kids out of school for a Disney trip.
(Yeah, I've already done that. )

But I guess some of you know me better than I thought.
Montague, Andy and Rob all guessed...
The Richard Petty Driving Experience at Walt Disney World Speedway!
Where you can drive at speeds of up to 120mph!!!

I'm betting very few of you (if any) have done this.

I haven't either, but it was a good guess, wasn't it?
Besides, I've driven faster on the autobahn in Germany, so...


There was one thing that I noticed, too.
Only GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes noted the plastic bag
that I brought along with me.

I mentioned it at least once in the last two chapters,
but nobody else noticed, or at least brought it up.


So, darn it! What was I up to???
And what was with that plastic bag??


Patience... Patience...
(Oh, sorry Liesa. Was that insensitive of me?
You may be reading this to not think of patients.)


First a wee bit of background.... then a whole lot more later on.

One of the things I really wanted to do this trip was spread some pixie dust.
I'm so envious of others who've been able to do that.
Whether it be giving up your seat on the bus
(And I actually did do that... several times... but it's such a small thing.)
or buying dinner for a young couple or family.
Every time I read about those things, it makes me smile.
And it makes me want to do something too.

So for all you people out there who do these little things.
Thanks for the inspiration.

Now I'd hoped to have already done a bit of good
when I gave up my Anna & Elsa FP+.
But I'll never know.

I thought about what I could do.
I could hand out thank-you cards to CMs...
But that's just not me.
I'm envious of those that can... but... oh well.
I already told you I was shallow!

I thought about buying $100 worth of balloons and handing them out to little kids.
But...
I suddenly had this vision...
pkondz gives out balloons to children.
Eventually he runs out, of course.
Some parents are angry because their child wasn't given a balloon.
Some parents are angry because their child was given a balloon.
"We already told Susie that she couldn't have one. Now look!"
"We're leaving tonight. How can we possibly take this on the plane?"
pkondz is surrounded by shouting parents and crying children.
You know... the usual.

Plus... $100 worth of balloons is what... two?

Over thinking it?
Yeah. Sure. But still... it made me pause.
(Incidentally, we did something similar to this last time we were there.
Both DDs wanted a balloon
and even though I told them we couldn't bring them home on the plane,
they still wanted them.
At the end of our stay, they each gave their balloons to a family with two kids.
They felt good and learned a lesson in giving.)

How about handing out free glow bracelets for MSEP?
Well, really. Same problem as with the balloons.

Plus... Well....
"Hey kids! Want some glow bracelets? Just step inside my white van!!"


I have to admit. I was in a bit of a funk.


Until one night, while I was surfing around looking at Disney stuff.
I clicked on a link and... I froze.
I stared for a few seconds... and clicked the info link.
I read for a few minutes.
Did a bit more research...

And a slow smile spread on my ugly mug.

It met several criteria.
It was something that I wanted to do.
It was something that very few have done.
It was something that I could only do on a solo trip
(unless I could find a few hours to be solo... and not feel guilty about it.)
And it was a way that I could spread some pixie dust,
although in a very unconventional way.


Sorry? What's that you say?
"GET ON WITH IT!!!"

Okay! Okay! No need to shout.
Sheesh.
The natives are getting restless.
<Thunk> (Arrow imbeds itself into computer housing.)


I said "OKAY"!!


I exited through the tapstiles and turned left towards the busses.
As I approached Guest Relations (Ha!) I could overhear a conversation.
Sounded like a family was not having such a great time with their Magic Bands.

I sat down on a bench and eavesdropped a little.
Or tried to.
I couldn't really hear what was being said.
Something about split stays and some members not being linked.
Not really too sure.
But it did mark the one and only time this trip
that I heard anyone having a problem with their Magic Bands.


A CM walked up to me and said. "Are you here for the tour?"
I nodded yes.
As I stood up, a husband and wife walked up and said they were on the tour too.
Melissa, the CM, led us back behind a gate.
For the first time in my life... I was "backstage".
There, we met her husband.
He was a pilot who was coming along for the ride, so to speak.

By now, some, possibly most, of you have guessed...
That I was doing Dolphins in Depth.
And maybe some of you have had a little light bulb go off over your head.
"Ah! The plastic bag was for his bathing suit."
And you would be correct.


Before we went any further,
Melissa asked me if I knew what size I was.
I had no idea.
She looked me up and down like an experienced tailor and wrote down a size.
Guess I'll find out if she's right.

She then asked if we'd met before.
I was positive that we hadn't.
I wasn't surprised. I get that from time to time.
Like the time I was waiting (interminably) for a bus.
A car pulls up, stops.
The driver rolls down the passenger window.
He calls out, "Hi!"
I have no idea who this is... but I'll go with it.
"Hi." I say back.
"How you doing?" He asks.
"Not bad." I reply.
"Are you going to Jason's?" He asks.
"Who's Jason?" I reply.
A look of consternation crosses his face.
"Hey! I don't know you." He shouts.
(He really did. He was freaked out. It was fun.)
"No you don't." I say. "But that's okay, I don't know you either."
He roars off.

At least Melissa didn't ask me for directions.


Before we get started on the tour,
like (I think) every tour that goes backstage,
you are not allowed to take any photos.
I didn't want to get kicked off the tour
(and possibly out of the park) so I was a good boy
and didn't take a single picture.

I tried to remember everything that Melissa told us,
but if I make any mistakes, it's my faulty memory,
not Melissa's excellent tutelage.


The tour started outside the main building.
A trash compactor sat nearby and Melissa jokingly said that it was
"The Disney decompression chamber for divers."



She pointed out two large pipes that exited the building and disappeared under ground.
The pipes continued underground to the sand filtration system.
That system took up two city blocks!

The living seas is big.
No... It's BIG!
How big? If you could pick up Spaceship Earth,
it would fit inside the living seas aquarium.
If you drained off one inch of water from the aquarium,
you would have enough water to fill an Olympic size swimming pool.
If you emptied the tank into one-gallon milk jugs and laid them side by side,
they would stretch all the way to New Orleans... over 500 miles.

That's how big.

Melissa also explained that in the event of a natural disaster,
the tank could be drained in about two minutes.
This was apparently mandated by the insurance company.
Don't ask me where they'd drain the water to!
Or what would happen to Nemo!

We were then led inside and shown a few areas.
We were shown the food prep area.
They go through almost two tons of food each week.
With all of Disney's affinity for high tech,
the feeding schedule for the various denizens of the deep
was written out on a white board.
Each turtle had its own schedule,
(and each has its own name. There are four of them.)
Each species had its own diet.
I noted that the sharks were fed every other day.
I noted also that they'd been fed today.
I hopefully wouldn't have to worry about a Jaws-like scenario,
where a shark would leap out of the water and bite a limb off.


It could happen.


A young lady was busy readying bunches of Romaine lettuce.
That's what they were feeding the manatees.
I like Caesar salad, so I guess I have that in common with them.
That and being more round than angular.

Speaking of manatees, we were next brought to their pool.
About half of their pool is backstage (the other half being "onstage".)
Both mammals were on the other side of the divide,
but Melissa showed us a sling that could be used to raise them out of the water,
whenever there was a need.

She then brought us round to the other side of the pool where we saw
the two manatees in residence.
Lou is a 1423lb male who'd lost 80% of his tail to boat strikes.
It's unlikely that he'll ever be released.
The other manatee is Lil' Joe,
another male who was an orphan when they brought him here.
He now weighed in at 1515lbs and would probably be released soon.


Afterwards, we were taken to the locker rooms.
We each had our own locker.
Inside the locker was a pair of neoprene booties
and a shorty.
A shorty is a one piece neoprene garment that covers your torso,
upper arms (like a short sleeved shirt... but skin tight)
and upper legs (down to a couple of inches above the knee.)

This is where I ran into a spot of bother.
I quickly got my bathing suit on,
stepped into the shorty, got my arms in and....
it zips up the back... and I couldn't reach the zipper!
I asked Melissa's husband to give me a hand.
Hey! Now I know how you ladies feel
when you ask a guy to help you with your dress!
Not as romantic as I thought it would be.
Even though Melissa's husband was kinda cute.
You know... for a guy.... uh....
Cars! Sports! Tools! Toilet seats..... UP!

Oh, and it fit perfectly.
I got the feeling that Melissa was pretty used to guessing sizes.


When everyone was ready
(I won't say I was last... the lady was... ha! <grunt> <burp>)
we were led inside the aquarium itself.
If memory serves (there was so much to look at! I may have this wrong)
there was a walkway that circled the tank as well as a bridge to the central island.
I'm pretty sure we went up a spiral staircase and exited out onto the island.

The dolphins share the same water as the rest of the critters,
but they are separated from them by a divider.
Just as well. They'd probably eat the fish, kill the sharks
and tease the turtles mercilessly.

We were led across the bridge and into a room.
There was a pool there, where two dolphins were swimming.
Melissa explained how the dolphins were like children.
They were constantly hiding their toys in an area of the pool.
I think it was the skimmer.
She reached in and sure enough, pulled out a couple of toys.

That made me laugh. Which was good.
Because it's time for...
More background!!!!


Water episode #1
When I was just a wee lad, probably about 3 or 4 I'd guess,
I went to what possibly might have been my first swimming pool.
I went with my cousins whose ages ranged from my age to...
oh, about 10 years older?
I'd actually been there before, with my parents.
It was the first place (and time) I walked unassisted.
Or so I'm told.
In any event, this is my earliest memory of a real outdoor swimming pool.
I clearly remember the smell of coconut scented suntan lotion.
(Nope. Not sunscreen. Suntan lotion.
The sun was supposed to be good for you back then.
Tans were done by sun, not spray paint.)

I was pretty much left to my own devices
and I spent my time exploring the shallow end of the pool.
(Hey! That's just like me! Shallow end of the gene pool.)
I discovered that I could go right up to the rope
that separated the deep end from the shallow end.
I was up to my neck... but I could do it.
I could even duck under the rope and stand... in the deep end!

I found that the shallow end extended for about a foot into the deep end.
Of course then it dropped off... but still.
An idea hatched in my head.
I could jump in the deep end... right beside the rope... and be okay.
I could be like the big kids!

I don't remember whom I told, but I did tell someone to watch me.
I let out a yell (I believe my exact words were: "Geronimo!" )
Ran towards the pool and the rope and... jumped in!
My excitement was short lived.
For the first time in my life, I found myself completely submerged...
at the bottom of the deep end of the pool.
I was confused. What was going on?
I looked around and didn't recognize where I was.
I could hear sounds,
probably the sound of dozens of kids, distorted by the water.
To me, I thought I was hearing angels singing.
So I closed my eyes...

The next thing I remember is opening them and...
I was lying on the grass by the pool.
A lifeguard was bending over me.
A ring of people surrounded me.
I have no idea how I got there.
And I don't remember a single thing from that point on.

I do know one thing.
I cannot stand the smell of coconut. It makes me feel sick.
I can smell it in anything.
Several times, Ruby has handed me something and I've declined.
"No thanks. There's coconut in it."
"No there isn't." She'll say.
"Check the ingredients." I'll reply.
Sugar, chocolate, syrup, oats, blah, blah, blah.... coconut.
I have a lousy sense of smell... but I never miss that.


Water episode #2.
My dear, loving sister, who happens to be two years older than I,
tried to "help" me get over my fear of the deep end of the pool.
My parents would send us down the street to the local YMCA.
We'd "swim".
And by swim, I mean my sister would grab me and drag me into the deep end.
I would scream and plead with the lifeguard to help me.
This would happen over... and over... and over.
I'm sure we were quite popular.
I don't bear any ill-will towards her, we were just little kids.
And she was just trying to help.

I wonder if she's scared of spiders?
Hmmm.....
What? Oh. Sorry. Moving on.


Water episode #3.
My mom was a schoolteacher and so she usually had the summers off.
Some summers, we'd rent a cabin at the lake for a week or two.
They were glorious, wonderful times.
It was there that I learned to "swim".
And this time, by swim I mean with a mask and snorkel.
I had seen several episodes of The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau.
I fell in love with the idea of scuba diving.
But I still had a fear of water.
But that show, plus some books my folks got me,
showed me that there was nothing to fear in our lakes.
So I was okay with being in the water... with a mask on.
I was sure something would grab me and pull me down...
but not if I had a mask to see there was nothing there.

Still...

One day, while my mother relaxed on the dock with a book,
the older kids were playing on the beach with a surf board.
They would place the board partially in the water, partially on the beach
and then run and jump! on the board.
They'd scoot out over the water before inevitably falling off.
The next person would then take their turn.
I was told I was too little to try it.
I bided my time.
Eventually the older kids got bored and moved on to other pursuits.
I placed the board at the water's edge, moved back... and RAN!
I jumped on the board... and it flew out from underneath my feet!
I landed in a heap on the beach.
I looked up... to see the board zipping out over the water.
Oh, no! I had to get that board back!
I would be in so much trouble if I lost it!
I ran into the water after it.
Soon I was up to my waist and the board was tantalizingly just ahead of me.
Up to my chest.... almost got it.
Up to my neck... just a little more...
Still up to my neck... and that darned board kept just ahead of me out of my reach!
I kept running and running and running until...
I finally came to the realization that a.) I was never going to catch up to it;
and b.) I was completely exhausted and couldn't run another step.
I stopped running.
And my head plunged under the water.
What the!?!? I was just running! What's going on?
Bear in mind that I couldn't swim.
I could snorkel... but not swim.

I thrashed in the water and clawed my way back to the surface.
Gasping, I managed to turn myself around and look back at the beach.
I was probably a good 50 or so yards out by now.
Did I mention that the lake we used to go to was the deepest lake in the province?
It was formed by a meteor long, long ago.
Where I found myself, unable to swim, 50ish yards from shore...
was probably about two hundred feet deep. (The lake's deepest point is 377 feet.)
I tried to call for help, but nothing came out except for a slight gasp.
I thrashed and fought and somehow managed to keep my head (mostly) above water.
After what seemed like an hour, but was probably about 10 minutes,
I crawled out onto the beach.
I collapsed onto the sand, unable to move.
After a minute (kids recover so darned fast!)
I managed to raise my head and look over at my mom.
She was still reading her book.
She glanced up... saw that I was still on the beach... and went back to her book.
Remember that this was a very different time.
Now there's education and signs and radio and TV...
and they all tell you to keep your child within arm's reach.
Not so much, back then.


Water episode #4
This one was less death defying but more unnerving.
At least to me, at the time.
My Dad was given the use of a friend's cottage for a week.
The lake that it sat by had sturgeon in it.
A sturgeon is a long, ugly lake fish that can grow over 10 feet long
and weigh in at over 1,000 lbs.
They're basically harmless bottom dwellers, but....
just the thought of them being in the lake gave me the creeps.

There was a boat dock and a small beach in front of the cottage.
I brought my mask and snorkel... but didn't really want to go in the water.

Sturgeon, you know.
Plus unfamiliar lake.
Plus probably seaweed.
So... yeah.

But I brought my mask and snorkel... I couldn't not use them.
So I went in.
And paddled around near the dock.

I was feeling a bit nervous, but managing okay, when...
Something tapped me on the shoulder.
I glanced over and two inches in front of my eyes was
a big
dark
ten foot long

partially submerged log.

I didn't scream.
I might have yelped.
Okay, maybe I did scream a little.

Once I got over the shock, I pulled the log to shore.
I told everyone that I'd pulled it in because it was a danger to boaters.
(It was, actually.)
But I never once went back into the water that week.


So why am I telling you all this?
It's to give you a good idea of how I feel about water... and why.
I will swim in a lake... but not for long... and I never enjoy it.
I will snorkel in a lake... but never near seaweed.
That stuff scares the heck out of me.
I know that it won't grab me. I know there's nothing hiding in there.
But it will and there is, so don't try to tell me it won't and there isn't.
And I won't snorkel anyway if the visibility is poor.

I will not willingly go in an ocean.
But... as some of you may know, I did just that in Hawaii.
I snorkeled in a shark cage... but I'm in a cage. I was safe.
I snorkeled in a marine conservation area.
Yeah, but when I swam a bit too far and saw the bottom drop out,
I was done for the day.
I went surfing.
True... but it took everything I had to blank my mind out and not think of sharks.
"It's a shallow cove. Nothing here. Nope."
If I'd said, "No sharks here." That would've been enough to keep me out.
Actually, one of my daughters asked me that.
"Dad. Are there sharks here?"
"Nope! Not here! Ha ha!"
shutupshutupshutupshutup

So I can do it with some prep time.... but.... scary stuff them oceans.


So here I was, standing on the edge of the dolphin pool in booties and a shorty.

We watched the dolphins for a bit and then headed back to the island.
I never saw the dolphins again.


Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I give you the impression that I was doing the Dolphins in Depth tour?
Whoopsie! Silly me.
I said you were correct... about the plastic bag being for the bathing suit.
But you were not for the tour.


Back on the "island" we donned swim fins,
buoyancy compensator (BC), scuba tank and regulator.
I handed Melissa my glasses and she gave me a prescription mask.
I'd never worn one,
since the places I've normally scuba dived at have fairly limited visibility.
Melissa told me that she was going to put my glasses on eBay.
I put the mask on and.... I could see! A miracle. I can see! I can see!
I can see that the rest of the divers have already begun
to swim out to the martialling area.
I'd better get a move on.
The best part of the Epcot DiveQuest was about to start.


So come. Let us be frank.
Did I surprise you?
Did you see that one coming?
Since only about one percent of the population of Canada
and/or the States have Scuba certification,
I was pretty confident that few, perhaps none of you, have done this.


Was I nervous?
Yes!! But for reasons other than what you might think...
Well, perhaps in addition to what you might think.


I got my Scuba certification in high school.
Ironically, I did my open water dive test
(as well as a few subsequent dives)
in that same lake that I almost drowned in chasing that surf board.
(Is it sad that I have to specify which location I almost drowned at?)
After that, I went with a friend on a dive in... oh, about 1987.
And that was the last time I ever went.
To say I was a bit rusty would be an understatement!
Would I remember what to do?
Better than some, it would turn out.

We all paddled out away from the "island"
The way scuba diving works is simple... and incredibly complex.
You just breathe in and out through your mouth.
The regulator keeps all the air in your tank from coming out until you breathe.
The buoyancy compensator (BC) is like an air vest.
When I paddled out, I had it filled with air.
When I wanted to go down, I emptied it.
The trick is in adding/removing just enough air so you are neutrally buoyant.
If you do it right, you won't rise or sink.
Well, when we all gathered together, we all began to deflate our BCs.
I was nervous all right. But at least I didn't do this:
Melissa's husband.... forgot to put his mouthpiece in.
Kinda hard to breathe without it.
He told us all about it later and we all had a good natured chuckle at his expense.

But enough about the mechanics...
I'm sure you want to know about the dive itself.
And I'll tell you all about it...
In the next update.

But just to whet your appetites...


I pushed the button to begin deflating my BC.
And as the air rushed out, I began to sink.
Soon, my head slipped beneath the surface
and I began my descent to the bottom...

And the circling sharks.

Link to next post - 20,000 Leagues of Pixie dust​