Get out your popcorn ladies this is a long one.
So I have eight bridesmaids and a JR. I know that sounds like a lot but let me explain. The first two my MOH and my cousin E are going to be with me at our cruise wedding. The second three my MOH, my friend M and my friend C are going to be with me at our church wedding in Minnesota as well as DF's four nieces. Third group will be my MOH, E, M & C at our Virginia Reception only.
Here is where the drama comes in. Around December of last year my MOH sent an email out to my other three bridesmaids and explained to them what she and I had discussed for the bridal shower. Basically she asked mom and I what we thought and we told her our thoughts and dear MOH went and did the research to see what it would costs to do it that way. After seeing the costs Mom and MOH and I decided that something a little cheaper and A LOT less expensive would be better. So Dear MOH sent out a second email explaining the changes. Somehow the combination of the two emails pissed off one of the other ladies. That BM came to me and said that the emails upset her (didn't say why) and then said she was going to email MOH and tell her. What was I supposed to say? I said okay fine. Well unbeknownst to me she had basically lost her damn mind.
In the beginning the emails were sent to all four ladies, myself and my mom. But then later, when it got ugly, I was blind copied on the emails sent by the BM. After it happened I was kind of upset and told her so. She then finally explained why she was up set and though I physically understood why she was upset, in my heart I did not understand at all. It didn't make sense to me. She was acting jealous. Like some how my MOH was usurping her. Which made no sense because from the beginning my MOH has been my MOH. Its not like I asked them all and then said I will decide later. Plus it is the MOH's responsibility to do the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.
I could not understand what she was acting jealous and upset about something that was not her responsibility to do it just really fried my eggs. Anyway it got childish and ugly and even when MOH tried to end it, the other BM kept going. Even when I spoke with her about it in person she would not drop it. She was actually pissed at me for being upset with her and that I wasn't taking sides. She tried to say that I told her it was okay to let and that my mom asked for people to go to their corners and relax.
During the conversation she would say stuff and I would feel like we had reached an end she would start right back up again. It was maddening. Honestly she could not let it go. I was frankly embarrassed. I was trying really hard not to say something like, clearly someone forgot this is about me and not you so suck it up, put your big girl panties on and deal with it, or bow out gracefully. Eventually I did say if it is to hard for you to deal with my MOH and you need to back out you can and I will still love you. Well that set her off. She got all passive aggressive and said something like fine I can see what you want me to do you don't want me in your wedding. I was really disappointed, frustrated and stressed beyond reason.
Here is the kicker to all this, the BM that did all this, I work with her. Now she is my team lead. So I have that to deal with.
I confess since all that happened I kind of see her completely differently and there have been a bunch of times where I really wonder if we will still be friends when all of this is done. I also have been thinking about looking for a new job when all this wedding stuff is done. I just to know what else to do. Its sort of like once its out there its out there and cannot be taken back.
Any advice would be welcome...
Sick of the drama