What do you think... 14/13 too young to babysit a newborn?

[Piecey]

My assistant manager at work offered me up her 14 and 13 year old daughters to babysit next summer after baby is born (She knows I am a planner and have been trying to figure out what to do!) so that I could come back to work.

She says that they are old enough (I don't know, this is my first baby and I never babysat when I was that young) but I'm a bit hesitant-- a newborn? Left alone with a 14-13 year old?

Her points were that we would be easily reachable with one phone call (yet we'd both be about 30 minutes away in another state if something happened)
My DH would be a 10 minute drive away, but he's not always reachable. My mom would actually be 10 minutes away too, but calling her would probably be a last resort.

So what do you think... are they too young to watch a newborn by themselves? They're good girls, I just worry. I feel like if I'm going to tell her I don't want their help I need to do it now, not go all winter with her thinking they'll be babysitting and then say "Oh, no."

 

[teacups]

Lot's of people would say yes. I personally wouldn't. I am afraid of newborns myself!

I have three kids.

 

[MNFootballMommy]

Personally, I wouldn't do it. When DD was an infant, I wouldn't use the neighbor girls (13-15) for babysitting, even if DH and I were just going out for a few hours. I always used an adult friend.

Once DD got older, the neighbor girls were called upon for babysitting duty, but not when she was an infant. There are just too many things that can happen.

However, a lot of your decision has to come from YOUR comfort level. It sounds as if you aren't that comfortable with the suggestion already and your feelings will probably intensify once your baby is born.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[mickeyboat]

For a couple of hours, maybe. All day every day - no.

Denae

 

[rkwells]

My first thought was yes I would allow a teen to watch a newborn because coming from a large family and as I was one of the youngest I had newborn neices/nephews that I babysat when I was 13. That said I watched them for a couple of hours here and there while mom and dad when out to eat.

After giving it a little more thought I realized you are talking many hours while you work. As a mom of 2 I thought back to the amount of emotional energy and patience it takes to deal with the needs of a newborn and decided no way! It is nerve wrecking when they are screaming because of a tummy ache and there isn't much you can do to help. I would definitely want a seasoned adult watching my newborn while I worked.

 

[HM]

If they had an infant in their household that they've cared for previously, then probably Otherwise, No. Surely there are other places you can find someone. Put an ad in the paper as you get closer to the time and interview people.

When I babysat, after a bad incident with an infant: the parents didn't warn me that the baby had trouble burping and would turn blue; and when I called them in the middle of their dinner party all in a panic...they acted like it was no big deal, just try burping harder!. I would no longer sit for anyone under the age of 2 after that. Too much responsibility for someone that could not talk for themselves.

 

[DMickey28]

ARe you talking newborn, newborn or 3/4 month old newborn? How long? All day?

It completely depends on the baby and the teenager. I would trust a 13/14 year old to watch a 4-6+ month baby for a few hours, especially at night but not for an entire 8+ hour day.

If you have an easy going baby that is already in a schedule then a few hours at night or even during the day with a mature/smart/strong 13/14 year old would be fine. A colicky baby or one that is not on a schedule and an immature 13/14 teenager ... no way. As a parent it's hard enough with a difficult baby to figure out what they need when they are off the wall nevermind a young teenager.

I'd probably pass at this point, saying there are too many factors to consider and research daycare centers. Once the baby is born you can reevaluate the situtation. This far out there are too many what-ifs.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

I wouldn't do it, for a number of reasons, their age/maturity is just one of them.

I sense that you already know you don't want them to sit for your baby, but because they were offered by your work superior you feel compelled to consider it. My supervisor recently offered up her 15 yr old to watch my 5 and 2 yr olds. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I try to maintain strong boundaries between my work and personal life. What kind of weirdness would it cause in your job if it didn't work out?

Also, they are still kids. Do they even *want* to give up their entire summer babysitting full time? Will the novelty wear off quickly and then leave you stuck? I would be okay with that age babysitting for a couple hours periodically, for a doctors appointment or just for a nap for a new mom, but not for full days every day.

 

[Piecey]

Well, I work part-time. After a half hour drive to work and a half hour drive home, though, I'm usually gone 6-7 hours. DH can be off by 4, so I can't be too sure how long they'd be with the baby everyday but I'd say an average of 5-7 hours a day.

When she first offered DH and I discussed it based on the fact that I would work a little longer and get some extra $$ in savings and then probably stop working when they went back to school.
We're not exactly sure, but thinking that it wouldn't make sense with how much we'd be paying in gas for me to go to work + daycare, for me to continue working. If I was full-time, yes. But part-time? No.

Thanks for all the opinions. They have NOT taken care of a newborn- they have nephews they're very close to the youngest is 3, but they've never cared for him directly as they were 10/11 at the time.

 

[AnnetteF]

Sorry, but I'd have to say no way!

 

[SleepyMom]

I guess a lot would depend on the girls and how you feel about them.

When I was younger than that I was watching a newborn with 3 older siblings for a good part of the summer, but things were different wayyyyy rolleyes1 ) back then.

Right now I have a 14 year old and I wouldn't be comfortable leaving her to watch a newborn every day for all day over a summer. She does babysit toddlers and older kids though. Actually if she is asked to watch a newborn, they bring the baby to our home instead of DD going to theirs, so that an adult can be in the house as well. I did the same with older DD, and the parents always liked knowing an adult was around when the baby was so tiny. Honestly, I think your asst. manager is kind of putting you in a bad postition... I would never offer up DD14 to babysit a newborn like that.

I would say no myself, they are still pretty young for such a huge responsibility on an every day basis.

 

[Piecey]

I wouldn't do it, for a number of reasons, their age/maturity is just one of them.

I sense that you already know you don't want them to sit for your baby, but because they were offered by your work superior you feel compelled to consider it. My supervisor recently offered up her 15 yr old to watch my 5 and 2 yr olds. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I try to maintain strong boundaries between my work and personal life. What kind of weirdness would it cause in your job if it didn't work out?

Also, they are still kids. Do they even *want* to give up their entire summer babysitting full time? Will the novelty wear off quickly and then leave you stuck? I would be okay with that age babysitting for a couple hours periodically, for a doctors appointment or just for a nap for a new mom, but not for full days every day.

None, I'm not worried about that. My assistant manager was a co-worker at a previous office, when she took this promotion I was not with the company any longer and she called me up and asked me to come work with her. We've been friends for a long time and she does NOT act like my "superior" at all, she is wonderful to work with! She is simply there to answer questions, do her job and ensure everything gets done when it should.

Yes, we work in banking, so the hours aren't bad at all. They live waaay out in the country and if not babysitting for me, they would be stuck at their house all day with nothing to do. They would be done by 5pm everyday and their mother doesn't usually get until then or after, so they wouldn't really miss anything. Also, they're both very excited because if they do this they won't have to spend days at their dad's house.

 

[chrisw127]

I don't care how much experience they have, absolutely not.

 

[freckles and boo]

Not a chance. Even the most mature 14 year old is still a child. I would find a professional or a childcare center with plenty of staff.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've left my newborn twins with a 19 year old all day. I've left 6 - 18 month old twins, plus my other kids, with a 13 - 15 year old at night. I've left my dd12 with my other kids for a few hours. Last night, I left ds10 with his sleeping siblings for 20 minutes so I could pick up dd12.

That said, NO WAY would I leave an infant with girls that young, for that many hours, on a daily basis. I remember having babies, day after day, especially when they're so young that they don't give anything back (no coos, smiles, laughs, etc.). I remember having to deal with babies who, no matter what I did, just wouldn't stop crying. I remember thinking that if they weren't mine, I'd be tempted to throw them out the window (not that I really would've). I'd never put that on a young teen.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

No! Definitely no!
Since they have no newborn experience then NO!

Feeding, burping, changing messy diapers, dressing, dealing with spit-up - NOT something I would entrust to 2 very young teens. Especially all day! They will be stuck inside all day. I can't imagine the babysitters will be happy with that arrangement, and boredom leads to trouble.

If they were just going to be watching the baby while you did some yard work or something then that would be fine. The situation you describe is not appropriate for girls that young.

I am a nanny, and I know there have been times when I have called cell and office numbers for both parents and couldn't get ahold of anybody. I have been doing this for 15 years, and I am 38 years old with a DS of my own. If I am faced with a situation I can sort it out myself if I can't reach my bosses. There is no way to even anticipate all of the things that could possibly happen, so you couldn't ask the girls about hypothetical situations that would cover all of the bases.

At my last job I was walking through the house one day and there was a THING on the stone wall in the living room. It was either a bird or a bat. It had come down the chimney. That was one of those times I could not get ahold of ANYBODY to ask them what they wanted me to do. I called City Services, Animal Control, they were all completely worthless. I put the kids in the car and we left. No big deal.
The thing turned out to be a bird, and the dad managed to chase it out the door with a broom. But if it had been a bat there was NO WAY I was going to sit around the house with it!

 

[JessicaR]

No way! Too many hours and lack of experience coupled with the fact that its a newborn. I wonder what the girls take on it would be and if they were even asked. That would be expecting way too much from them.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[Wishing on a star]

Nope, wouldn't consider it.

I would only consider trusted mature child care, or a good, licensed child-care center.

Sounds like your boss just wants to make sure you come right back to work.

PS: It seems that this would even be illegal from a child-labor standpoint, to hire children of that age in that capacity.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

For a couple of hours, maybe. All day every day - no.

Denae