WDW and terminally ill adult

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The most important factor for having a truly magical experience is to be realistic with expectations. And to focus on what you can do not on what you are missing.

I once went to WDW for two weeks (with an AP) while I was much younger and healthy. No way did I do everything. And I think this was before AK even opened. So toss out the thought that you will do it all. Just not possible.

Toss out the scenes you see on TV ads that never show crowds and lines. There will be crowds and lines. But you will still have a great time if you don't focus on the downside. Sitting having a Mickey bar or watching the kids play at the Boneyard at AK can also be magical.

My SIL and BIL who are both elderly and not in good shape at all (major skeletal issues for both) took two 9 year old boys (one being their grandson). It required 2 ECVs for them as there was no one to push a WC. They only made plans about 4 weeks before they left.

They just returned home and had a wonderful time. I've seen lot of pictures of the boys playing and watching things not just riding rides. It's so easy to get focused on rides and to rush back and forth between rides while missing everything else.

I made a trip last month where I did not ride a single ride. I went to shows, I ate, I really looked at all the buildings, I went down side streets. I had a great time. Now I don't recommend this for you necessarily, but just want to stress that there is so much to do.

Enjoy what you can and do not mourn what you cannot do. If your sister is only okay for 2 hours a day - just enjoy those two hours. If you spend the rest of the day watching her nap or having long talks with her enjoy that too.

All my best wishes and prayers for all of you.

ETA: Twenty plus years ago my mother, her sister, my cousin and I were all scheduled to go to WDW. My mother's cancer returned which was then diagnosed as terminal. My mother refused to go although the rest of us did. To this day I so wish she would have gone. She thought she would be too much of a "burden" for us. I'm glad for you that your sister wants to make this trip.
 
I suggest bringing a sun umbrella or just a regular umbrella. It will give her some shade if waiting outside, and protect your sister from a sudden rain shower if waiting outside. Be very careful about dehydration--once you're thirsty, you are already dehydrated! If your off site hotel room has a fridge freezer, freeze some water bottles and bring a soft sided small cooler. You can hang it from the back of the wheelchair and the water will melt by 11am. I also like to wet a washcloth and freeze it in a ziplock baggie. It will be ice cold and soft by 10am and you can use it to wipe down your sister's forehead, and arms--it is very cooling and refreshing.

I agree about the wheelchair--it will be much less mentally taxing for your sister. Bring some finger-less biking gloves to protect your hands from blisters. Lots of people report that they get sore palms from pushing a wheelchair if they don't do it every day at home.

I like the idea of the top five things/rides/characters. Have each person do it. Consider Photopass, but check daily to make sure the photos are in your My Disney Experience--you don't want to get home only to find another family's photos and your precious memories lost forever.
 
I'm so sorry for you all. We have been visiting WDW for 25 yrs. We have free passes to Sea World and Aquatica, so we only go to the Magic Kingdom at WDW. We just got back from a trip last week. We always hit the MK at rope drop. And it takes a while to get through the ticket stiles and bag check so plan to arrive at least 30 minutes prior to park opening. Doing that, we were able to ride Ariel's Under the SEa ride, Winnie the Pooh Hunnypots, and It's a Small World within the first 45 minutes. The coasters all had big lines immediately. We do everything we can before 11, eat lunch then, and have fastpasses for Haunted Mansion, Pirates, and Jungle Cruise after lunch. Our 20 yr old has had good luck in the past with going back around 7 pm, and closing out the park. I'll tell you, MK was busier than in years past, and she waited forever for the coasters. Part of this is due to the fact we wait til we arrive to ascertain the weather. So we're shut out of fast passes for the coasters (super popular). We've been in the parks during all day rains, and it's no fun. Most people plan way ahead, what is what I'd advise you to do, even if it winds up rainy. I'd find out what everyone's immediate top 3 rides are for whatever parks you're visiting. Try to get early fast passes, due to your sister's stamina. Eat lunch either very early or very late to avoid crowds
 
Another way you could get quick access to some rides is to do the Early Morning magic at Magic Kingdom. It is an added expense, but there are limited number of people in the park who get unlimited rides on the 7 dwarves mine train, Winnie the Pooh and Peter Pan rides & sometimes the carousel. It also includes a breakfast at Pinocchio Haus.
If those rides are interesting to her, it would be a way to get a lot done in a couple of hours and not even use FP yet.
 
Always ask for a DAS. The worst they will do will say no. It seems like she may be too ill to ride rides, but you can use them for meet and greets that have a fastpass. I would either plan fast passes for meet and greets or plan them for rides the kids would want to do.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned was getting the Photopass. This trip is about memories for her children. It will take one thing off your plate - you'd get tons of Disney photos. Plus the meet and greets and ride photos.

Overall, just manage expectations. Realize that she may just be able to meet a couple of characters and have some pictures taken and that's it. Research heat management because July/August is brutally hot. Bring an umbrella or some sort of shade for her - MK in particular has few shady areas. The heat may be the biggest factor for her.

I hope you have a wonderful trip.

Thanks for your advice. When I asked what she wanted most from the trip she said, “to meet Cinderella,” and I feel like that’s an easy FP, so that should work out.

Definitely getting memory maker/photopass (what’s it called these days?) as I agree it will help to keep those special memories alive for her kids (in our dream letter she wrote that she wanted to create happy memories for her kids so they don’t just remember her sick and dying).

I agree about the heat. I’ve had a few days to think it over and I feel like, other than getting FP and ADR’s we’re just going to have to take it moment by moment on this trip (duh, you’d think dealing with cancer might have made it obvious that that’s what we need to do, but apparently I’m super obtuse and thought maybe I could plan this one thing).
 
I have some experience with this.

Last July, my sister and I took our terminally ill aunt to WDW who also had stage 4 cancer (she passed in February). We also stayed offsite. There were no kids on our trip, but my aunt had even less stamina then your sister at this point.

We had a fantastic time and I am so glad we took that trip. We ended up pushing her in the wheelchair everywhere instead of using an ECV - that way she could focus on all the sights without having to stress about driving around and not hitting people.

We were able to secure a DAS for her. It doesn’t hurt to ask. We used it in combination with FP+. We just had her rest in a shady spot while we waited for return times or pushed her around a gift shop. We took long breaks at indoor counter and table service restaurants.

We did not do mornings in the park. Each day she slept in, had a leisurely breakfast and enjoyed the pool. Then she would take a nap. We left for the parks around 3 each day and stayed until closing. This was easier to handle as we did not have to go back and forth and we were there when it was cooler. With DAS and FP+ we got a lot done in that time, but not anywhere close to everything. We took it slow and picked a few highlights at each park.

It’s so nice to hear from someone who’s done this. I like the idea of one of us staying at the hotel til she’s ready to go and the others taking the kids to the park in the mornings. I’ve had some time to contemplate now and I’m realizing this will just be one of those things that I need to let go and let everything fall where it may. I think just going (and seeing her kids make happy memories) will be a wish fulfilled for her.

I’ve already decided to bring the wheelchair (in the airport alone it will be indispensable), but my sister is fiercely stubborn (it’s a family trait), and if she wants an ECV, we’ll rent one from the park. If it becomes too overwhelming, then we can return it and get her wheelchair (I’m happy to know they will store the wheelchair if she wants to go that route).

Thanks again!
 


The most important factor for having a truly magical experience is to be realistic with expectations. And to focus on what you can do not on what you are missing.

I once went to WDW for two weeks (with an AP) while I was much younger and healthy. No way did I do everything. And I think this was before AK even opened. So toss out the thought that you will do it all. Just not possible.

Toss out the scenes you see on TV ads that never show crowds and lines. There will be crowds and lines. But you will still have a great time if you don't focus on the downside. Sitting having a Mickey bar or watching the kids play at the Boneyard at AK can also be magical.

My SIL and BIL who are both elderly and not in good shape at all (major skeletal issues for both) took two 9 year old boys (one being their grandson). It required 2 ECVs for them as there was no one to push a WC. They only made plans about 4 weeks before they left.

They just returned home and had a wonderful time. I've seen lot of pictures of the boys playing and watching things not just riding rides. It's so easy to get focused on rides and to rush back and forth between rides while missing everything else.

I made a trip last month where I did not ride a single ride. I went to shows, I ate, I really looked at all the buildings, I went down side streets. I had a great time. Now I don't recommend this for you necessarily, but just want to stress that there is so much to do.

Enjoy what you can and do not mourn what you cannot do. If your sister is only okay for 2 hours a day - just enjoy those two hours. If you spend the rest of the day watching her nap or having long talks with her enjoy that too.

All my best wishes and prayers for all of you.

ETA: Twenty plus years ago my mother, her sister, my cousin and I were all scheduled to go to WDW. My mother's cancer returned which was then diagnosed as terminal. My mother refused to go although the rest of us did. To this day I so wish she would have gone. She thought she would be too much of a "burden" for us. I'm glad for you that your sister wants to make this trip.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had some time to think about things, and I think with 2 adults we can make sure the kids have a good time and my sister is well taken care of. It would break my heart if my sister decided not to go but I think she wants this badly enough that she’ll make it happen. I feel like my concerns were misplaced. This board (and time) have given me perspective and now I’m less concerned about doing things than making sure she doesn’t overdo it.
 
Thanks everyone for your advice! Based on what you’ve told me, I think we will make FP for the kids (other than the few things she wants to do), and just take it easy/go into it with few expectations. And, obv, bring her wheelchair.

Other than the slow dark rides, she’s not interested (never has been, actually) in many rides. The exception of course is the always elusive FOP in AK (she loved the similar Harry Potter ride at Universal). Plus, just really want her to see pandora at night.

I hope you all don’t mind if I come back with further questions as we get closer to the day. Thanks again!
 
My heart goes out to you and your family. By the luck of the draw, I survived ovarian cancer. But my sister was my caregiver during my illness and I'm often reminded how easily she could have been in your position. You're doing a wonderful thing for her and her children. I only have two small bits to contribute.


Don't be afraid to request wheelchair assistance at the airport, even if you’re all set to push in the parks. There's a whole other level of added stress and trying to keep everything together in the airport, and I'm not sure how well my multi-disability family would have been able to cope without the skycaps’ assistance. They even smoothed things over in Security to get us through as quickly and easily as possible. All it costs is a tip, and I've always felt like they earned it tenfold.


Even before you mentioned meeting Cinderella, I thought that maybe character meetings and photo opportunities would be a priority, as I'm sure you and the children will want to have a lot of visual memories of this trip to look back on.kennythepirate dot com ($10 subscription) has a character locator app and character schedules to help you figure out where and when different characters are available. (The schedules used to be free, but so did a lot of things!) I know you’re on a tight budget; this Disney Food Blog post (http://www.disneyfoodblog.com/disney-world-character-meals-by-price/)
ranks character meals by price, and you may find that, say, breakfast with Pooh & the gang at the Crystal Palace might be a possibility. It’s still one of my happiest memories, and I never suspected it would be beforehand. Also, Photopass photographers were always happy to take a picture with my camera (we could never have afforded to buy the Photo pass pictures!) And other guests gladly took pictures of our whole group, especially when we offered to do the same.

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I am so sorry about your sister...:hug:

There are a lot of options that you can look at. Looking at the whole picture is overwhelming... just break it down in parts... it will be much more manageable.

Ask for help... while this is easier said then done... Do you have a church that might be able to help out, One year we had a family that was going through what you are going through... the congregation got together and people donated enough money to cover all the expense's of a rental van with ECV/Wheel chair loading, as well as gas money, this way they had the freedom to come and go as needed, another thought is while I'm not sure what the relationship with the kids Dad or his family is maybe they would be willing to help out on the financial end...I worked with a girl and her son had a brain tumor, and they did make a wish trip for him, we all got together at work and pooled our money and got her a Disney Gift card for 250.00 and a Visa gift card for 250.00... for some extras while on the trip...

Would she be okay resting in the park? There are lots of quieter spots where she can relax, as well as shows, or longer rides to let her regroup. Watching the parade is another time where she would not be moving around...

When planning, maybe go early to RD ( rope drop) one morning, and do what you can while she is fresh... then use your FP for around lunch, then head back to the resort in the afternoon for pool time, and dinner... then the next day start out in the late afternoon, using FP's, then dinner and parade and fireworks, then the next day go mid day, using FP's as you go... On a side note once you use your 3 FP's you can see whats available... then book something else...

Character meals are another great way to see them without standing in line to get to meet them... this is also down time... most character meals take 90 minutes at a minimum.

You also could ride the monorail from resort to resort, you could get off if you wanted to check out the resorts, Our friends head for the Grand Floridian and the kids nap in the strollers, and her DH always falls asleep on one of the couches...She spends the time reading...


She also may surprise you, she might push through for extra time seeing her kid's at Disney giving you all more memories to cherish... There is something about Disney Magic that just good for the soul.

Praying for you all...
 
I’m going to close this because the original post was from June.
 
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