Trying to figure out what clothing would be flattering after weight gain

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

I have been struggling with accepting the fact that I have gotten a lot bigger since going back to work. Efforts to lose weight have been unsuccessful, and I’m at the point of wanting to just give up and be fat.

I desperately clothing that fits, particularly new casual summer clothing. I’m trying to find flattering tops, shorts, and dresses that minimize my (very large) chest and legs and don’t make me look like I’m 6 months pregnant. I’m also definitely not a spring chicken anymore so I need something that is appropriate for a short, frumpy, middle aged woman. Wearing a real bra is a must.

Any suggestions on clothing that might work for me? Or even where to start? Bonus for links to things that I could actually purchase! I have tried things like Stitch Fix in the past but the quality was terrible and they never sent anything that I asked for. I am not really into fashion so going into a place like Nordstrom where they have personal stylists feels odd to me. For family photos I have used J Crew in the past to varying levels of success (the ivory leather pants fiasco was particularly bad).

Thank you!

 

[Magical2017]

Macy's and Lane Bryant were my best options for both casual wear as well as work clothing. Some of the other places have plus-sized clothing but they are not flattering. We all like to look nice, even if we are not a size 2.

I know you did not ask, but don't give up. I felt the way you did at one point. Once menopause hit, I thought, "I should give up." Then I found out I was pre-diabetic (not really a shocker) and had high cholesterol. My back hurt. Weight Watchers is not for everyone, but it helped me lose 70 pounds. I am not doing the weight loss drugs, but have been doing the program with points. I added in exercise. I no longer have health issues or back pain. I can wear my old clothes again. I hope you find something that makes you feel fabulous.

 

[kymom99]

It may sound silly but I’ve been having reels posted on my Facebook made by plus size influencers. They make me feel more positive about clothes again. One cute gal is younger than I am but I love her style. She looks fabulous and the clothes she promotes are mostly Amazon or Walmart.

 

[luvthatduke]

I've bought clothing from Woman Within several times.
Their sizes tend to be one size difference from the average sizing
(like at WM, Macy's, Boscovs, etc.).

If you would buy a size XXL or 20, for example,
generally you can order the next size down.
They do this to flatter us, but their clothing's pretty good.
They also have Roaman's and other catalogue websites attached to this one.

www.womanwithin.com

 

[Travel60]

First, you want to look like your best self - where you are. You are probably never going to look like the skinny minnies most "fashion houses" design for. Emphasize your best area and camouflage what you don't like. We all have different shapes.

Capsule wardrobe - best bang for the buck. Easiest is basics of black and white.....all bottoms are solid black or solid white. No other colors, no patterns. Maybe cheat with a pair of dark blue jeans. Talbots has decent women's and curvy styles - catch their sales. Add solid black or solid white tops. Black over black or white over white will give you a "column" that makes you look taller. Nothing tight unless you plan to use it as a base layer under a jacket, vest or sweater. A slight scoop or v-neck will elongate your neck. A collar - like a polo shirt or Johnny collar will pull the eye up to your face. No mandarin or turtlenecks. Top should stop at or just above mid- hip - any longer makes your legs look shorter. Lands End, Chicos, Talbots and JC Penney have some basic tops. Sounds boring so far, right? But, the fun is in the third piece. It can be a long chunky necklace that forms a V, a scarf (tied so it forms a V in front), a slighty flowy jacket or vest, a loose shirt worn open, a sweater. This can be a different solid color that you feel good in. Could even be a pattern or stripe that picks up the black or white. No big splashy prints or flowers. Pick these up at Marshalls and the like.

Dresses should be solid or sedate print. Maybe in colors that coordinate with your "third" item above. I do black, red, blue, green because those colors look good with my coloring. Nothing tight. Figure out what style works for you. I need A-line or fit-and-flare. If you are larger on top your best might be a sheath. Avoid tons of fabric, ruffles, flounces -adds bulk. Ann Taylor, Talbots, JC Penney , Belks have nice dresses.

While this plan seems restrictive, it makes shopping SO MUCH EASIER. I can walk in a store and in five minutes know if there is anything I want. I also only shop for replacements. And shoes/handbags are so much easier. I can pack for a week in a roller bag. Everything goes with everything.

If you don't like black and white, you could do dark brown/cream as base. Or navy blue and khaki. (I love navy blue but find it very hard to coordinate because there are so many shades).

Finally, Google "Susan after 60". She does blog with photos, tips, etc.on looking YOUR best. And It's realistic not some fashion model.

Best wishes!

 

[TCRAIG]

Believe it or not - I’ve found great casual ‘basics’ on QVC - especially Susan Graver and Denim & Co - I buy when they go on sale or ‘as is’. I like Susan Graver liquid knit and also her linen blends in particular.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Can I ask your height and size? I may be able to give you some Instagram accounts that you can use for ideas.

The poster that suggested capsule wardrobe is spot on. That's the way to go. I lost a lot of weight in the past few years, but still keep my monochromatic base (usually all black) and break it up with a pop of color elsewhere (sweater, coat, jewelry, bag, or scarf).

I know people that are 100 pounds overweight that dress better than thinner gals. Keep it polished and simple. Don't get down about yourself.

Get your hair and nails done on a regular basis. Use a self tanner if that's your thing (that always helped me feel good). Keep your makeup very simple. These things helped me when I was at my highest weight. I look back on pictures when I was bigger and while I didn't feel my best, I definitely looked put together. It can be done.

 

[DisneyHardin]

I am plus size, short and middle aged also. I buy most of my clothes from Lane Bryant and Torrid. For just basic summer shorts, I really like the Terra & Sky ones from Wal-Mart.

 

[theMoreDisneytheBetter]

Thank you all. I’m 5’3 and I don’t want to admit my weight. Let’s just say it’s more than it used to be, and I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I liked the comments about getting hair/nails done. I really don’t do that, and don’t even wear makeup. Maybe if I did it would help?

I think I also just need to go shopping and buy clothing that is the right size. I’m happy to spend money on trips or the kids but like many parents am more reluctant to spend on myself. I think I should change that though.

 

[Pink Partridge]

I am 5'2 and was hovering around 220. So I couldn't even fit into J. Crew or Banana Republic or any of the day to day clothing stores the mall offered.

J.Jill, Talbots, and Ann Taylor Loft all have classic plus size pieces. But the tailor is your friend when you are 5'3 and under. Get everything hemmed to custom fit you. Worth every penny.

Now that I have lost weight, I still dress the same style. Simple and classic can be done at any weight or height.

 

[iivye]

I'm 49 and almost exclusively wear Torrid Harper tops (long and short sleeve). I prefer blouses to t-shirts. My go to shorts right now are from Amazon (order a size up for looser fit) "Rekucci Curvy Woman Plus Size Slimming 6 Inch Short with Cuff". I also order Torrid tops from Threadup since I have a specific style/size that works for me.

I liked the comments about getting hair/nails done. I really don’t do that, and don’t even wear makeup. Maybe if I did it would help?

I do my own nails because I like having pretty nails but don't want to pay salon prices. The only make-up I wear is a little bit of lip tint but I will say a game changer for me was wearing fake lashes (Lashify amplify).

 

[Pink Partridge]

......but I will say a game changer for me was wearing fake lashes (Lashify amplify).

Tell me more. Are these natural looking? Do they stay put? I love the idea. But I am scared I will look ridiculous like these twenty-somethings and their 5 inch lashes.

 

[fla4fun]

Thank you all. I’m 5’3 and I don’t want to admit my weight. Let’s just say it’s more than it used to be, and I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I liked the comments about getting hair/nails done. I really don’t do that, and don’t even wear makeup. Maybe if I did it would help?

I think I also just need to go shopping and buy clothing that is the right size. I’m happy to spend money on trips or the kids but like many parents am more reluctant to spend on myself. I think I should change that though.

Do you have a good friend you could take shopping with you, a person who you can trust their opinion but they aren’t snarky about it? I would suggest going out one day with this person to just try on different clothes styles to see what is flattering for you on the body you have right now. My sister and I do this for each other when clothes shopping and it really helps to have a second opinion from someone who has your interests at heart (as opposed to a salesperson who may have their wallet in mind). Sometimes I can get too much in my own head and don’t think anything looks good, and she will keep it real for me (and vice versa).

Something to keep in mind when shopping is to look for something with a defined waist. Too often plus size clothes look like a tent if you have a larger bust because the shirts just drop straight down from there. Consider a shirt that has a tie belt, or a wrap shirt, or a peplum cut on the bias (which won’t look like a maternity top like a gathered shirt can). Make sure the tie/belt hits at your natural waist. Another suggestion is shirts that have seams that run vertically down the shirt from the bust-line to shape the shirt (narrow it a little at the waist, flare it back out at the bottom). It’s important to try these on so you can make sure the waist is hitting at your natural waistline. Here are some samples from Target of these silhouettes:


For pants or shorts, it depends on how you are carrying your weight in the leg. If your legs are proportional top vs bottom, a straight cut may be more flattering. If the thighs are more prominent than the calves, a flare or boot-cut can even them out. The most flattering shorts length is at the knee or slightly above. A little stretch in the fabric can make a huge difference in comfort and appearance. Stay away from baggy fit or pleats as they generally just add visual bulk.

Happy shopping!

 

[Rogue1677x]

Thank you all. I’m 5’3 and I don’t want to admit my weight. Let’s just say it’s more than it used to be, and I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I liked the comments about getting hair/nails done. I really don’t do that, and don’t even wear makeup. Maybe if I did it would help?

I think I also just need to go shopping and buy clothing that is the right size. I’m happy to spend money on trips or the kids but like many parents am more reluctant to spend on myself. I think I should change that though.

Before gastric bypass I was 252 pounds and I'm 5'2. Now, thanks to some unforeseen complications, I lost too much weight too quickly and am 102 pounds and look like a skeleton.

When I was plus size I had great luck with Torrid, Lane Bryant (on occasion) and because I have a very short torso, lower rise jeans fit me best, I found some items from American Eagle. I'd find some dressier pants from the Gap for work.

One thing that I found important is carrying myself with confidence. Yes, easier said than done, but for me once I stopped caring about people's opinions, I got more comfortable in my own skin.

 

[wide awake]

I think it is important at any weight to focus on your assets and hide your flaws. I see a lot of women wearing cap sleeves for instance...not a good look AT ALL unless arms are thin and toned. Take the time to find your best colors, it really does make a difference. I have a large bust and I buy shirts that are loose on top and have some sort of tie or ruching at the hip so that I don't look pregnant. Black pants are your friend. I have a very narrow range of garments that I can buy/wear and I stick to it. My requirements are at least elbow length sleeves, very light tops since I'm busty, i.e. no clunky knits, no showing legs above the knees, v or boat neck shirts or sweaters, and expensive shoes to pull the outfit together. You're small so stay away from clunky accessories.

 

[iivye]

Tell me more. Are these natural looking? Do they stay put? I love the idea. But I am scared I will look ridiculous like these twenty-somethings and their 5 inch lashes.

I wear the Lashify Amplify ones which look natural. They have all different lengths. I can get 4 days out of one application, then I soak them in alcohol and use them again. I attached a picture of one of my eyes that I just took. They aren't extreme but they make a big difference in my overall look.

 

[Pink Partridge]

I wear the Lashify Amplify ones which look natural. They have all different lengths. I can get 4 days out of one application, then I soak them in alcohol and use them again. I attached a picture of one of my eyes that I just took. They aren't extreme but they make a big difference in my overall look.

Holy smokes! They look real!

 

[Pink Partridge]

Before gastric bypass I was 252 pounds and I'm 5'2. Now, thanks to some unforeseen complications, I lost too much weight too quickly and am 102 pounds and look like a skeleton.

I didn't have gastric, but lost a significant amount of weight. I look younger, and sometimes healthier, in pictures where I am at my heaviest. It is very strange and sometimes alarming how losing weight makes me look almost gaunt.

 

[Rogue1677x]

I didn't have gastric, but lost a significant amount of weight. I look younger, and sometimes healthier, in pictures where I am at my heaviest. It is very strange and sometimes alarming how losing weight makes me look almost gaunt.

That is so true about looking gaunt. I've always had high cheekbones and now they're so sharp, Maleficent would be jealous.

 

[Travel60]

I posted above but have another thought. You seem a little depressed - understandable if you are not happy with where you are. I'm going to suggest that you "fake yourself out" by being proud and happy even if you are faking it.

Stand up as tall as you can - pull your waist out of your hips, pull your chest out of your waist. Rotate your shoulders back and pull your head out of your shoulders and neck. Pretend your head is being pulled upward by strings attached to your ears. Walk with authority and a pep to your step. It will seem hard and will tire you out quickly but keep doing it and those muscles will get stronger and it will become natural. You will look and feel taller/slimmer.

Best wishes!