'Tacky' Thank-You notes

[barkley]

inspired by the thread on kids and thank you notes

someone mentioned hating the pre-printed ones that kids fill in the blanks on.

i hate the little generic rolls of paper that have a plastic wedding ring on them and are handed out to everyone at the wedding.

but the tackiest i've ever received was one 3 YEARS after the wedding and timed such that it arrived the same day as the baby shower invitation (which the 'bride' was hosting for herself).

share-

 

[famofsix]

The fill in the blank cards don't bother me. At least the child took the time to send a thank you.
I think it is tacky to have people print their names and addresses on the thank you invitation envelops at the party to save the honoree time (think baby and bridal showers). I always think, while I am at it shall I thank myself for coming and bringing a gift...where's the thank you cards....

 

[famofsix]

i hate the little generic rolls of paper that have a plastic wedding ring on them and are handed out to everyone at the wedding.
share-

If that is the only thank you you get than I agree! However I thought those were just a favor thanking people for sharing the day with the bride and groom?

 

[ducklite]

DH's cousin got married 12 years ago. We never got a thank you. When discussing this with my MIL, she said that the little bottles of cheap wine that were "favors" that said "Thanks for Sharing Our Wedding Day" were intended as thank you notes. Very tacky! I never got a thank you for the bridal shower that I made an eight hours round trip to attend either...

I didn't attend the next baby shower and didn't send a gift either. Enough.

Anne

 

[barkley]

If that is the only thank you you get than I agree! However I thought those were just a favor thanking people for sharing the day with the bride and groom?

no, the weddings we've gotten them at it was the only thank you note.

i agree with the thing about showers and writing thank-you notes or invitations (got invited to a bridal shower that was held well in advance of the mailing just so the guests could help out-i passed on that one).

i should add another category 'tacky invitations'-we got our first ever wedding invitation via email, it was a mass mailing of a text message (not an e-greet or anything card like) that conveniently provided links to all the places the 'happy couple' was registered at (and if you wanted to rsvp you had to go to some god awful wedding web site they signed up on and it took forever to get to the part that let you rsvp-you had to scroll past pages of dribble about 'how we met', 'our first date', 'how i knew he/she was the one', 'our special song' (and the damn thing had an automatic playing music thing so you had to listen to it-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!).

 

[Stimpy]

My big pet peeve is the preprinted thank yous attached to the favors at kid parties now. They always say something along the lines of:

"Thank you for attending my party and for the great gift! Love, Johnny"

or worse:

"Thanks for the cool gift!!"

Ummm....how do you know it was a great gift if I didn't even give it to you yet???

 

[julsmom]

My DD did the fill in thank you notes when she was 5. It was appropriate for her age. As she gets older, she can write more and so we can send normal thank you notes.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

i don't mind the fill in the blank ones from children! At least they are learning.

 

[ducklite]

My DD did the fill in thank you notes when she was 5. It was appropriate for her age. As she gets older, she can write more and so we can send normal thank you notes.

I have no problem with the fill in the blank thank you's from little ones--especially if they have a nice hand colored masterpiece included with them.

Anne (A proud aunt who's fridge is often plastered with the artwork of her budding Picasso nieces and nephews )

 

[famofsix]

no, the weddings we've gotten them at it was the only thank you note.

i agree with the thing about showers and writing thank-you notes or invitations (got invited to a bridal shower that was held well in advance of the mailing just so the guests could help out-i passed on that one).

i should add another category 'tacky invitations'-we got our first ever wedding invitation via email, it was a mass mailing of a text message (not an e-greet or anything card like) that conveniently provided links to all the places the 'happy couple' was registered at (and if you wanted to rsvp you had to go to some god awful wedding web site they signed up on and it took forever to get to the part that let you rsvp-you had to scroll past pages of dribble about 'how we met', 'our first date', 'how i knew he/she was the one', 'our special song' (and the damn thing had an automatic playing music thing so you had to listen to it-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!).

I'd pass on that wedding! I got an wedding invitation that had RSVP by email. I will because I like them but I still think the cost of stamps is not that bad for RSVP cards.
I can't believe people think a favor at a wedding or shower is a sufficient thank you! I have gotten "thanks for the great gift in my kids goody bags". I dunno, not something I'd do.

 

[barkley]

I'd pass on that wedding! I got an wedding invitation that had RSVP by email. I will because I like them but I still think the cost of stamps is not that bad for RSVP cards.
I can't believe people think a favor at a wedding or shower is a sufficient thank you! I have gotten "thanks for the great gift in my kids goody bags". I dunno, not something I'd do.

we did pass on that wedding-i think my ears were still bleeding from the song on the web site (which was not the well known version, but a kareoke rendition by the bride and groom-who i hope are not planning on pursing music careers ).

the only 'favor' thank you that we've received that i thought was in good taste/very creative-was at a retirement party (and it was a large group gift no individual gifts) at the end of the evening the guest of honor brought out some boxes that held bottles of nice champage, the lables had been removed and a lable with her photos and some nice wording about how much she had enjoyed working with us, thanked us for the time and energy to put the party together as well as our generous gift (it was known from day one she wanted money contributed to a pet charity). she presented one to each guest and gave them a hug and big thank you and asked that each person take their bottle home and when they opened it to raise a toast to all the great/not so great memories of working together and know that she would be toasting that all of us could join the 'retirment club' with her asap.

 

[Kimmumum]

My parents drove 8 hours to my cousins wedding (we were not willing to do so). When they got their thank you note, it thanked them for their gift and said how sad they were that my parents were unable to share their special day with them. My parents were furious

 

[keishashadow]

I can't remember my child ever getting a thank-you note for a gift given @ another child's party.

have never gotten thank you notes for any presents to nephews either.

have gotten a wedding thankyou in the form of an email...better than nothing i guess.

in our area it's customary to ask guests @ showers to address their own thankyou cards - absurd IMO.

 

[ducklite]

I'd pass on that wedding! I got an wedding invitation that had RSVP by email. I will because I like them but I still think the cost of stamps is not that bad for RSVP cards.
I can't believe people think a favor at a wedding or shower is a sufficient thank you! I have gotten "thanks for the great gift in my kids goody bags". I dunno, not something I'd do.

I have a friend who is asking anyone responding "yes" do do so via a web link. They are getting married on a ship and the cruise line requires certain documentation for anyone boarding whether they are actually cruising or just witnessing the wedding and having cake before the ship sails.

The way this is set up, your personal info goes directly to the line, not to the bride and groom, which makes sense.

Anne

 

[Kimmumum]

I can't remember my child ever getting a thank-you note for a gift given @ another child's party.

We get thank you notes from most of the kid parties that my boys go to. One type of thank you note that we send out for kids parties is....I take a picture of all of the kids at the party. My boys write a thank you on the back of the picture. They are fun to look at years later....who was there, how little they looked, who their friends were etc

 

[cats mom]

I can't remember my child ever getting a thank-you note for a gift given @ another child's party.

I have to admit that although I try to make sure my kids follow through with thank you notes, sometimes it just doesn't happen.
I've always been of the opinion that if they take the time to verbally thank the person at the time the gift is received (as is the case at most friend B-day parties) then a written thank you is a nice extra but not necessarily a must-do.

That said, my DD went to a friend party over the weekend and the gifts were set aside for the B-day girl to open later. In that case I would insist that thank you notes be sent.


As for the e-mail rsvp someone else mentioned I'd probably be fine with that (minus the tacky karaoke song and hard to navigate web site of course)

Last party I gave for my DD I included phone number and e-mail addy for RSVPs and most people just dropped me a quick e-mail. Worked out great.

I tried to call and RSVP for a B-day party just today and got no answer.
Who doesn't have an answering machine? Sheesh, what a pain. Now I've got to remember to keep trying until I get through to someone. An e-mail would be much easier.

 

[Chicago526]

I know this isn't proper "Miss Manners" ettiquete but I never understood sending a thank you note for a gift you received in person and that you thanked the person for at the time they gave it!

Now, for weddings, since (usually) the bride and groom open their gifts after the reception and guests are not present, then sure, a thank you card is appropriate. Or if a gift is mailed or the giver is not present when the gift is opened, again, thank you cards are a must.

But someone gives me a present, I open it in front of them, say "I love it! Thank you so much" to the giver, then why must a thank you note be sent?

I know, I know, because it's the "right thing" to do. But customs do change over time, and I personaly feel this should be one of them. "If a gift is thanked for in person, a note is not nessesary" should be the NEW Miss Manner's rule!

Anyway, the few "thank you" notes I've received have all been ordinary thank-you's, nothing that would be considered tacky. And I'd never send a "tacky" one myself, if I have to do it, I may as well do it right!

 

[pearlieq]

I do agree that in most casual settings, I think a personal, verbal thank you is enough. I don't think presents given and opened in the presence of the giver at a birthday party or the like need to have a thank you note sent. It's more for weddings, showers (where you really don't have time to do more than ooh and ahh before the next gift), and presents that were sent to the recipient.

I still can't think of a justifiable excuse for those awful fill-in-the-blank cards! If the child is too young to write they can dictate the note to mom or dad. Or they can do what our neighbor kids do, which is draw a picture and add the words "Thank you!" at the bottom. I love those!

Thank you notes should be personal expressions of appreciation for someone's thoughtfulness and generoisty, not form letter obligations to be checked-off!

 

[rosiebean]

I know this isn't proper "Miss Manners" ettiquete but I never understood sending a thank you note for a gift you received in person and that you thanked the person for at the time they gave it!

Actually I read somewhere lately that this was proper, that if you receive a gift in person, open it and thank the giver then that a thank you note was nice but not required. I'm thinking that it was in Ann Landers (she consulted a Miss Manners type expert). This was very recent, probably sometime this year.

Not a "thank you" note story, but an amusing one none the less: when DS was born, I received the loveliest card from my boss's boss (i.e., our department's Big Boss/Head Honcho) congratulating me on the birth of my lovely daughter! I still giggle when I think about that. As do my coworkers.

 

[gottaluvdis]

I'm so glad there are others who agree that if a gift is opened with the gift giver right there, and the receiver says a thank you in person, that a thank you note is not necessary. I had DD9 sending notes after every birthday party until last year. I only had her send notes to those who gave a gift but who were not present (relatives out of town). I felt bad for not making her send notes to those who attended the party, but she thanked everyone in person and I later read that this was appropriate.