SADDAM: CHEMICAL WEAPONS WERE USED TO RESEARCH MOVIE ROLE
Iraqi Strongman Reveals Plan to Star as Madman in Upcoming Thriller
Minutes after U.N. weapons inspection spokesman Hiro Ueki announced that inspectors had found empty chemical weapon warheads while searching a storage area in Iraq, Iraqi President Saddam Hussein came forward to explain that he had used the warheads merely to do research for a role in an upcoming movie.
Saddam described the motion picture as a Tom Clancy-like thriller in which he is slated to play, in his words, a madman who possesses chemical weapons.
While he offered few details as to the scenario of the purported film, Saddam did reveal that the storyline involves him playing a game of cat-and-mouse with a U.S. President played by Breakfast Club star Judd Nelson.
But, in Washington, the real President of the United States expressed skepticism that such a movie is, indeed, in the works.
Waving a copy of The Hollywood Reporter over his head, a visibly angry George W. Bush said that there was no listing for an active Saddam Hussein movie vehicle on any of the major studios production schedules, and demanded that the Iraqi strongman come forward with a screenplay to verify his story.
Moments after Mr. Bush made his demand, however, Saddam did in fact produce a 12,000-page document that he claimed to be the script for the upcoming film production, entitled, The Man Who Loved Chemical Weapons.
But after studying the screenplay, U.S. officials were openly dismissive, saying the screenplay contained nothing new.
Most of it seems to have been lifted from Die Hard, one official said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Iraqi Strongman Reveals Plan to Star as Madman in Upcoming Thriller
Minutes after U.N. weapons inspection spokesman Hiro Ueki announced that inspectors had found empty chemical weapon warheads while searching a storage area in Iraq, Iraqi President Saddam Hussein came forward to explain that he had used the warheads merely to do research for a role in an upcoming movie.
Saddam described the motion picture as a Tom Clancy-like thriller in which he is slated to play, in his words, a madman who possesses chemical weapons.
While he offered few details as to the scenario of the purported film, Saddam did reveal that the storyline involves him playing a game of cat-and-mouse with a U.S. President played by Breakfast Club star Judd Nelson.
But, in Washington, the real President of the United States expressed skepticism that such a movie is, indeed, in the works.
Waving a copy of The Hollywood Reporter over his head, a visibly angry George W. Bush said that there was no listing for an active Saddam Hussein movie vehicle on any of the major studios production schedules, and demanded that the Iraqi strongman come forward with a screenplay to verify his story.
Moments after Mr. Bush made his demand, however, Saddam did in fact produce a 12,000-page document that he claimed to be the script for the upcoming film production, entitled, The Man Who Loved Chemical Weapons.
But after studying the screenplay, U.S. officials were openly dismissive, saying the screenplay contained nothing new.
Most of it seems to have been lifted from Die Hard, one official said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
