Rejecting an IEP - for different reasons than most do

[Leajess99]

OP, I can understand how you feel and for some children, the test anxiety is so bad that no matter how many times they are given the test they do poorly. Also at that age some kids do not want you to know what they really know. As long as you feel your child is doing fine and you are not requesting the school to do more than I feel you have every right to deny the IEP.

It really sounds like your child has a great advantage to many children anyway. I would honestly inform the school that you have made your decision and they need to respect your decision. You are not doing it to spite them but because you know your child better than they do.

Good Luck OP to you and your child.

 

[worm761]

I definitely suggest getting a basic IEP. It will be easier if you need one down the road. DS's had things like he did not have to do essays, only multiple choice tests. His was actually supposed to say no homework but I had it modified to say that it didn't count as late since he could not remember to turn it in. Even if it was in front of him. he has had some great teachers that made accommodations for him that were not part of the IEP but made class easier for him.
We are homeschool/virtual schooling now. It is better for DS all around. But it was a long road to get here. As a parent you usually know what is best. Come to an agreement with the teacher and then request that it be made into an IEP so that it follows him to next year since the next teacher might not be so accommodating.

 

[pacrosby]

Thanx so much, everyone, for taking the time to respond.

The IEP was formally rejected (signed the ppwk) right before school started so that case is essentially closed. I know so many believe it's best to have 'something' in place in case it's needed down the road but that just doesn't happen to be my personal philosophy. If we do have to start over again at some point I'm perfectly ok with taking the additional time it will need to retest and put new recommendations in place. There will be plenty of support available in the time it takes for an appropriate plan to be ironed out.

As an update, I did manage to meet with his teacher that first week of school. She was wonderful and, as it turns out, she was a sped teacher before she became a regular ed teacher so I have no doubt he will be well supported in the classroom if need be. Right now we are really just taking a watch and wait approach.

My real concern was whether I was going to need to super glue this child's bee-hind to the kitchen chair for hours after school to keep him on track but I may be putting the cart before the horse. Granted it's very very early in the year but so far he is ahead of the game and has pretty much made a fool of those who evaluated him in May. We'll just have to see how things play out. I can't solve the potential problems of tomorrow. We prefer to take one day at a time.

Again, many thanx

 

[Schmeck]

Granted it's very very early in the year but so far he is ahead of the game and has pretty much made a fool of those who evaluated him in May.

Excuse me?!? It seems to me that this has been some kind of revenge game to you - lets show the school how much better you are at your job than they are? If you can put that aside, how about realizing that you yourself stated that your child had issues with testing/professionals/etc and he probably bombed the school's testing due to nerves/anxiety. Did you think to bring that up at the meeting, or during your 5 page letter of refusal?

I'm very glad that your son is seemingly doing so well, but take a step back and check your attitude towards the school - they only want to help your child, there's no benefit to them to give him services up the wazoo. Actually, it cost the taxpayers a nice little fortune to cover the special ed expenses, to the detriment of other programs, so I'd have been grateful that it was that easy in your district to get services offered.

 

[pacrosby]

Excuse me?!? It seems to me that this has been some kind of revenge game to you - lets show the school how much better you are at your job than they are? If you can put that aside, how about realizing that you yourself stated that your child had issues with testing/professionals/etc and he probably bombed the school's testing due to nerves/anxiety. Did you think to bring that up at the meeting, or during your 5 page letter of refusal?

I'm very glad that your son is seemingly doing so well, but take a step back and check your attitude towards the school - they only want to help your child, there's no benefit to them to give him services up the wazoo. Actually, it cost the taxpayers a nice little fortune to cover the special ed expenses, to the detriment of other programs, so I'd have been grateful that it was that easy in your district to get services offered.

Wow, I think perhaps I should be the one using the phrase "Excuse me?????" Have you 'really' read all that I have written? Every word? And that's what you decide to add to the discussion?


I'm sorry if that one line was so offensive to you but I was there, I know what happened, I worked in a similar capacity for 16 years and I know my son. Do I have attitude? You bet I do. Those "professionals" made huge mistakes when they selected/administered/scored/interpreted tests (please remember that I said, many times, that much detail was being left out in order to keep the length of my posts reasonable). Those "professionals" sat around that table and tried to shove that plan down my throat so very sure that they couldn't possibly be wrong. I told that group many many things at that meeting (and in my 5 page letter of refusal) that, for whatever reason, they simply did not wish to believe . So am I trying to prove something? You bet I am.

For the record, I never once accused the school of having some ulterior motive so I'm not quite sure where you got that from. From the get-go my accusations have centered around their level of competence and unless you know where I live (and are personally familiar with the individuals of whom I speak) I'd say you should think twice before calling me out in such a manner and making snap judgements about things you know very little about.

Perhaps you might try and put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Imagine if someone told you your child was so notably deficient that he could not possibly learn to read without extensive help outside of the classroom; that he did not even possess the prerequisites to read. Imagine then that in a matter of 60 days, with only your support at home, that he "magically" learned to read. And I don't mean a small sampling of simple high frequency words. I mean really 'reading'; reading with fluency; books that, according to Scholastic, have a grade equivalent of up to the 2nd grade? What if by the end of that 60 days he was composing 200-250 word daily journal entries where, on average, 75% of the words were being independently spelled correctly???????? How would you feel? Now just imagine if, instead of trusting your gut, you had decided to 'believe' them and had accepted their recommendations (I mean, seeing that they ARE the professionals and it's almost impossible to be objective as a parent, right?)? Where exactly would your child be now? I'll tell you where.................. removed from the classroom for 1 1/2 hours per day and placed In a small group of notably deficient children to work on "prerequisites"! While the rest of the class sailed on ahead!

So do I have attitude? You bet I have attitude but, no, I'm not trying to prove that "I" can do the job better than they (although clearly it's been proven that I can when it comes to "my" child). I'm simply trying to prove that I made the right decision. What do you think the water cooler talk was the day they heard "Matty's mom" had rejected the IEP in full? Do you think they all smiled warmly at one another and said "oh, I'm sure she knows what's right?" Fat chance of that.


Please don't generalize my statements. I'm talking about "my" experience with "our" sped team at "our" school with "my" child. Not yours or anyone elses. I'm not making some general comment about sped professionals everywhere. But what happened here is real and you better believe that I have every right to have attitude. We're talking about my child and I've been fighting for this child his whole life. I'm not about to stop now.


(as an aside it appears that you did not carefully read each and every one of my posts..............may I suggest you might want to do that next time before being so quick to call someone out?)








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[GraceLuvsWDW]

Good for you Pacrosby! I am another who has found our schools horribly deficient and even damaging with regard to their lack of understanding or ability to ascertain an individual child's needs. I am sure there are some good schools out there but my experience has been so horrible that I have sworn my child will never walk through the doors of a public school again-even if I have to go broke to prevent it.

 

[pacrosby]

Good for you Pacrosby! I am another who has found our schools horribly deficient and even damaging with regard to their lack of understanding or ability to ascertain an individual child's needs. I am sure there are some good schools out there but my experience has been so horrible that I have sworn my child will never walk through the doors of a public school again-even if I have to go broke to prevent it.

I don't want this to go on and on and on but I needed to thank you for the supportive post. Got my dander up a bit on that last one but couldn't help it LOL I don't doubt there are excellent professionals servicing children in public schools all over the country. In fact I'd like to think those very professionals that showed such poor judgement in my son's case have done right by many other children in that school. Maybe his circumstances were simply too complex to be serviced by the traditional recipe. Simply put, he threw them for a loop LOL. Fortunately our school system clusters differently than some as the children switch schools in the 3rd (and then the 6th and then the 9th) grades. As a result if things start to go south in a couple of years I'll have a whole new sped team on my doorstep.

On a final note, it is a wee bit frightening to me to see/hear how many people are willing to blindly accept the recommendations of professionals and find it hard to believe that 'over'diagnosing/'over'treating is as much a reality as 'under'diagnosing/'under'treating'. Everyone seems to want a diagnosis and a 'fix' (no I'm not referring to anyone on this thread/forum, just a general statement about today's society). Whether it be a pill or some therapy or another................they want their child (or themselves for that matter) to fit into that narrow range of 'normal (which is becoming more and more narrow as the years go by btw) and an ever expanding list of professionals are more than eager to pad their caseloads. I saw it happen from the inside (when I worked as an SLP) and now, with ds, I see it from the outside. We have spent much of the last 7 years keeping professionals at bay. When you have a child with a medical diagnosis such as my son's everybody wants a piece LOL. I always listened but politely declined. Why? Because my gut always told me (and our cardiologist and pediatrician always agreed) that what ds really needed was time not intervention (and btw...we were always right). Believe me, ds's diagnosis is a heavy enough burden to carry without constantly being bombarded with the message that he can't do anything on his own; that he always needs extra help. In my opinion there's serious potential for more harm than good in that. Nope. I'm not jumpin' on that bandwagon

 

[lovethattink]

pacrosby, I am in a similar situation as you. Some quick backround, my son was diagnosed this summer by a neurologist with Cortical Dysplasia, Epilepsy, and developmental delay. A psychologist who tested him with neurocognitive tests and from the results of the questionaires he had my husband and I fill out, he added ADHD and Aspergers. Since we didn't have all the results back until after school started this summer, we decided to homeschool him.

It was THE BEST decision we have ever made!!! He is learning by leaps and bounds. He didn't know enough of the sight words to go to first grade, he couldn't sound out words at all, but his math skills were right on target. The kindergarten teacher suggested he repeat kindergarten. Last year, the kindergarten curriculum was Harcourt Trophies. For this school year, I went with a phonics based curriculum, Abeka. We went with their DVD school.

He is now doing amazingly well. We are on day 34. He is now blending letters, sounding out simple 3 letter, one vowel words. He is also able to spell 3 letter, one vowel words! Doing the DVD school, allows me to rewind where necessary, or pause, to ensure he understands what the teacher is saying.

We also discovered that there are wonderful homeschool co-ops in our area. We are in one for field trips and social events. There is also one for PE.

You need to do what will be in the best interest of your child. It sounds like your working one on one with him has promoted a huge improvement. That is great that he can read books now! I'm sure it helps his self-esteem and confidence in himself too! Have you looked into any co-ops in your area or umbrella schools?

We are in the process of deciding if we should stop homeschooling and send him to a public school so that he will be eligible for the McKay scholarship. It requires a public school from Oct to Feb. But there is a school right near us that is specifically for children with Aspergers and the only way he would be able to go there is with that McKay scholarship. My husband and I are really leaning towards continuing with homeschooling due to the leaps and bounds he has already made in these 34 days of class.