Neighbor complaints about dog/considering rehoming

[Be Enchanted]

So yesterday our next door neighbor stopped by and complained that he can hear our dog barking inside of our house (windows closed) from the inside of HIS house. He said that when we are not home, the dog barks endlessly and it's loud enough that he can hear it inside his house. I believe him.

This is the second time he has complained about our dog barking. Even though I don't particularly like this neighbor, I do give him credit for approaching us directly and not acting belligerent. He was very calm. The first time he complained, we had left our windows open in the summer and the dog barked at him while he and his family were in their backyard. We felt terrible and made it a point to always close the windows when we left the house. We didn't realize his barking could be heard inside of another house (these are single family homes, not townhomes).

Here is my dilemma. The barking is not the only issue we have with our dog. He's a 3 year old lab, very rambunctious. Due to the noise complaints, we will now be locking him and our other dog in the basement every time we leave the house to try to muffle the noise. I'm not sure what other options we have besides a collar that would zap him every time he barks? We've tried a professional trainer (see below).

He has anxiety issues (the barking, and he also nibbles constantly on toys, pillows, mattresses, and he constantly has to be pet and follows me around). He overreacts to things outside, whether it's a person walking by or a squirrel. His bark is SO loud and he absolutely will not calm down once he starts barking. He will bark for several minutes, even after the person or animal has long passed by the window. He's aggressive with other dogs (we can't take him to a dog park), he's a hot mess on walks (yelps and pulls, breathes heavily, walks side to side like a drunk man). When my daughter has friends over we have to put him away because he scares the other kids. We paid for a professional trainer that came to our house four different times to try to help. Her best solution was a collar that we can issue a warning beep with a remote if he starts barking. That's fine when we're home but that doesn't solve my issue of when we're away.

He also destroys things (which we initially dismissed as puppy behavior but now I think it's part of his anxiety), he bit the neighbor dog, and starts fights with other dogs at the dog park.

I guess I'm just feeling a little exhausted from dealing with him. My heart aches even considering the idea of rehoming him and DH was very opposed when I mentioned the thought. He's part of our family, but I'm starting to wonder if we are the best family for HIM and vice versa. DH and I both work so he's home all day for 9-10 hours. We have another dog that is very well behaved and hasn't had any of these issues.

Also, I'm leary of this neighbor and could see him slapping us with a lawsuit over something. Whether it's aggression towards his dog, or noise issues, etc. As I mentioned he's been nice enough to confront us directly up until this point. But I kind of sense that this was probably our final warning before he calls the police or takes further action. The neighbor has young children and I worry that they could approach our fence and the dog would scare them and the neighbor could turn that into a complaint as well.

I have an appointment with the vet to discuss his anxiety issues, perhaps we can try some medication. My eyes tear up by even thinking about rehoming him but I feel like it's an option that we have to start considering.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

 

[kimblebee]

You are going to get slammed and I’m sorry for that.

As a neighbour who had been on the receiving end of endless barking of a neighbours dog, thank you for realizing something has to be done.

That’s all I have for you. Good luck

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Have you tried the collars that vibrate when he barks? I like the idea of those more than shock collars or the citronella ones.

If you feel as though you have exhausted all of your options I wouldn't just rehome him. I'd find a reputable rescue for his specific breed. That way, he can be fostered, and usually minimally trained before his is rehomed. That would give him the best option for a successful life in another household.

Good luck!

 

[mom2rtk]

Our neighbor left her dogs outside to bark incessantly (10 hours or more every day) and told me to get lost when I told her how much of a problem it was. So it's refreshing that you didn't just react defensively like she did.

Have you considered consulting with some sort of animal behaviorist?

 

[cabanafrau]

Have you tried something rather simple to see if you can reduce the anxiety, something like a Thundershirt? May not help, but it sure couldn't hurt to try.

 

[Christine]

So, I'll start out with saying that, IMO, rehoming isn't going to be easy for this dog. The anxiety he already has, plus, I don't think he's adoptable.

Given this, I would take way more drastic measures with him.

1. Get him on medication pronto.
2. Do not shy away from a shock collar. He has a serious behaviorial issue and he's a large, strong dog. It's serious. I know some think it's cruel. I don't think that's always the case. Use it every time you are home and he barks. This is much more kind them taking him out of your home which he may never recover from.
3. Continue to work with another trainer while doing #1 and #2.

As the other poster says, I commend you for recognizing this and actually caring. I live next door to a barking dog. It has been horrible. Fortunately, I cannot hear him in my house while he is in his house. He is a smaller dog so that probably helps. The dog's owner has tried to train him half-heartedly but she doesn't want to be "mean" to him at all. When my husband is outside, the dog barks his ever-lovin' head off. My husband asked the neighbor if he could spray the dog with a squirt bottle when he did it (something we learned in dog training with one of our dogs). She FREAKED out over but then let him do it. The dog does stay away from the fenceline now while my husband is out there and the barking has subsided considerably. But she won't use that method at all.

 

[Be Enchanted]

You are going to get slammed and I’m sorry for that.

As a neighbour who had been on the receiving end of endless barking of a neighbours dog, thank you for realizing something has to be done.

That’s all I have for you. Good luck

I hope I don't get slammed, LOL! As I said, I do believe the neighbor and I agree that it's an issue. And this dog as lots of other issues and I'm sort of feeling defeated. I'm trying to do the right thing for the neighbor, our family and for the dog. It's probably not realistic for me to think I can satisfy all three but I want to try.

 

[sarahann77]

I'm not sure if it'll work but there's also an egg dog bark control device. Petsmart has it. I did get one for my home. It's very sensitive that I had to turn it down. It doesn't need human interaction to go off; just the barking. It's a different kind than the collar at least. Mine didn't react much to the collar but slowed barking a bit with this.

 

[mrsv98]

Yes to medication. We have a small rescue terrier who came from a puppy mill with no socialization. She was incredibly anxious and destruction. She now has a prozac prescription for anxiety and it has REALLY helped. It is not a panacea but with training, patience and correction it has made a huge difference.

It also sounds like he needs more exercise. A tired dog is a happy dog. I know you said he picks fights at the dog park but regular socialization could help and the activity would be great. Our youngest lab goes to day care three days a week and while she doesn't have behavior issues, she (and we) are much happier when she has her play time.

You could also look into activities like agility or coursing, something to work his brain and body.

Trust me, I know it is frustrating and disheartening, we went through that with our little rescue and it was harrowing at times but very worth it in the end. Good luck

So, I'll start out with saying that, IMO, rehoming isn't going to be easy for this dog. The anxiety he already has, plus, I don't think he's adoptable.

Given this, I would take way more drastic measures with him.

1. Get him on medication pronto.
2. Do not shy away from a shock collar. He has a serious behaviorial issue and he's a large, strong dog. It's serious. I know some think it's cruel. I don't think that's always the case. Use it every time you are home and he barks. This is much more kind them taking him out of your home which he may never recover from.
3. Continue to work with another trainer while doing #1 and #2.

As the other poster says, I commend you for recognizing this and actually caring. I live next door to a barking dog. It has been horrible. Fortunately, I cannot hear him in my house while he is in his house. He is a smaller dog so that probably helps. The dog's owner has tried to train him half-heartedly but she doesn't want to be "mean" to him at all. When my husband is outside, the dog barks his ever-lovin' head off. My husband asked the neighbor if he could spray the dog with a squirt bottle when he did it (something we learned in dog training with one of our dogs). She FREAKED out over but then let him do it. The dog does stay away from the fenceline now while my husband is out there and the barking has subsided considerably. But she won't use that method at all.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Please don't give up on this dog yet. There is a lot of help out there for him.

 

[aprilchem]

I'm a long-time lab owner and have adopted two older labs with issues. If it were my dog, I would:

1. Find a local training organization and enroll in a training class immediately. Most areas have either an all-volunteer training club, training classes at the SPCA, or companies that offer training. It sounds like your dog may not have been properly trained and socialized as a puppy, and may need some significant work to become a good citizen of your household. I'd expect at least 18 weeks of classes (3 sessions or more).
2. Find a dog walker and pay him/her to come and play with and/or walk your dog each day, and/or find yourself a good doggie daycare where your dog can go 1-3 times a week to play for 8 hours a day. 9-10 hours a day is too long to leave a dog alone with no interaction. A good bit of exercise each day should curb the barking and anxiety significantly

However, it sounds to me like you are fed up and have already made your decision. If that's the case, I'd find your local lab rescue and see if you can surrender to them. Both of our labs were surrendered by owners who weren't able to care for them and both of them had significant behavioral issues like the ones you've described. After adopting them (one at 6 years, one at 2 years) we worked with both of them and they became great family dogs. It takes time and patience, but it can be done!

 

[firefly_ris]

How much exercise per day does the dog get? That includes both physical exercise as well as mental exercise (training, searching for stuff, learning a trick), which can be just as tiring. Do you leave him something to do when you are not home? Perhaps you have done a lot of these but some general thoughts:

- Regular daily exercise. It doesn't have to be walks. One of my dogs could get a bit neurotic -- I could walk him for 5 miles and it didn't do much for him, but then I purchased an attachment for my bike to make it into a brisk jog for him and that helped. Other forms of exercise were games of tug and fetch. On winter days, I would hide kibble or treats around the house and he'd have to go around looking for it.

- When away, have you tried something like a Thundershirt? The pressure from the fabric can relieve anxiety. It doesn't have to be a purchased Thundershirt, there are tutorials online for how to make your own out of an old t-shirt.

- When away, something to keep his mind occupied such as a kibble/treat-dispensing puzzle toy, Kong with frozen peanut butter, or other chew?

- Tried crating? Some dogs with anxiety cannot handle being out in the open space of your home all by themselves and may do better in the confined comfort of their "den", in a crate. This removes destroying things and/or possibly injuring himself on something. When I lived in a more densely populated suburbs, my high anxiety/barky dog was always crated in our finished basement.

- The aggression to other dogs can be a symptom of his pent up anxiety. You would want to speak with a professional behaviorist about that though (not your vet, or the beginner trainer at your local PetSmart).

- Medication coupled WITH a routine change could definitely help.... or it might not. But I wouldn't count out the possibility of a med to get him down to a level where training can occur. If he is always on high anxiety mode it can be hard for the dog to learn and retain it.

- Lastly, I foster dogs for a local all-breed rescue. We are always absolutely maxxed out with people surrendering animals all of the time... some of our fosters may have 3 or 4 foster dogs or cats at a time. We are actually closed for intakes right now because we don't have enough available open fosters. The next few months are only going to get worse once all the people that purchased "Christmas puppies" realize they are actual work start looking to dump them off. However, all that said -- it still doesn't hurt to start researching rescues in your area, a Lab specific rescue would be better -- you could even email and just describe your situation. If they have a trainer on their board, or have a very behavioral experienced foster available, or they might have suggestions for local resources that you don't know about. It doesn't hurt to reach out and see if anyone might have time to just give advice on the topic. And if you do decide to rehome, sometimes they do come across special adopters who are willing to take on the work -- so I wouldn't say he's un-adoptable. I'm currently fostering a fearful puppy mill survivor who will probably never be super lovey-dovey and I think she'll still find the right fit.

 

[belleatdisney]

I second the opinion of medication and a dog walker/ day care. It sounds like he has anxiety which is treatable. A dog like this can be hard to place so if possible, I would recommend you keep him and try the great advice you are getting.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

The answer to this is exercise, exercise, exercise. A tired dog doesn't have the energy nor desire to be bouncing off the walls all day long; a tired dog would rather sleep. You have to drain off all that pent up energy and anxiety. If you physically can't keep up with the amount of exercise it would take to tire your dog out, get a treadmill and run/walk him on that first (safely, of course) before taking him out for his leashed walks.

 

[tzolkin]

I sympathize with you and am familiar with the stress of a difficult dog.

There are quite a few things that you could do to improve the situation (many already mentioned), but I think it really just comes down to whether you have the ability to invest the time and energy it will take.

I realize for many (most?) people the truthful answer may be “no”. I’m not judging at all; that’s just the reality of life. Between working 10 hours per day and everything that goes into a busy family life with children, many will simply not have the mental or physical energy to adequately work with a dog.

We had a very challenging dog a few years ago. I was not working at the time and my entire life was invested in training her. It was like a very exhausting full time job and actually even more stressful than when I was caring for my infants 24/7.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am so sorry!!!!
I know that this is so hard for you.

And, I am wondering about how one could find a good home for a needy/difficult, and large energetic dog.
Sorry I don't have any easy advice.

 

[scrapquitler]

So yesterday our next door neighbor stopped by and complained that he can hear our dog barking inside of our house (windows closed) from the inside of HIS house. He said that when we are not home, the dog barks endlessly and it's loud enough that he can hear it inside his house. I believe him.

This is the second time he has complained about our dog barking. Even though I don't particularly like this neighbor, I do give him credit for approaching us directly and not acting belligerent. He was very calm. The first time he complained, we had left our windows open in the summer and the dog barked at him while he and his family were in their backyard. We felt terrible and made it a point to always close the windows when we left the house. We didn't realize his barking could be heard inside of another house (these are single family homes, not townhomes).

Here is my dilemma. The barking is not the only issue we have with our dog. He's a 3 year old lab, very rambunctious. Due to the noise complaints, we will now be locking him and our other dog in the basement every time we leave the house to try to muffle the noise. I'm not sure what other options we have besides a collar that would zap him every time he barks? We've tried a professional trainer (see below).

He has anxiety issues (the barking, and he also nibbles constantly on toys, pillows, mattresses, and he constantly has to be pet and follows me around). He overreacts to things outside, whether it's a person walking by or a squirrel. His bark is SO loud and he absolutely will not calm down once he starts barking. He will bark for several minutes, even after the person or animal has long passed by the window. He's aggressive with other dogs (we can't take him to a dog park), he's a hot mess on walks (yelps and pulls, breathes heavily, walks side to side like a drunk man). When my daughter has friends over we have to put him away because he scares the other kids. We paid for a professional trainer that came to our house four different times to try to help. Her best solution was a collar that we can issue a warning beep with a remote if he starts barking. That's fine when we're home but that doesn't solve my issue of when we're away.

He also destroys things (which we initially dismissed as puppy behavior but now I think it's part of his anxiety), he bit the neighbor dog, and starts fights with other dogs at the dog park.

I guess I'm just feeling a little exhausted from dealing with him. My heart aches even considering the idea of rehoming him and DH was very opposed when I mentioned the thought. He's part of our family, but I'm starting to wonder if we are the best family for HIM and vice versa. DH and I both work so he's home all day for 9-10 hours. We have another dog that is very well behaved and hasn't had any of these issues.

Also, I'm leary of this neighbor and could see him slapping us with a lawsuit over something. Whether it's aggression towards his dog, or noise issues, etc. As I mentioned he's been nice enough to confront us directly up until this point. But I kind of sense that this was probably our final warning before he calls the police or takes further action. The neighbor has young children and I worry that they could approach our fence and the dog would scare them and the neighbor could turn that into a complaint as well.

I have an appointment with the vet to discuss his anxiety issues, perhaps we can try some medication. My eyes tear up by even thinking about rehoming him but I feel like it's an option that we have to start considering.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I think the vet might be able to help with some anti anxiety meds or something.

I have to wonder about the quality of the windows in your house and your neighbors house. I can't imagine that they hear from inside your house in their house with all the windows closed.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I'm going to second several bits of advice all together:

1. See if you can find someone to come in and take him out for some exercise during the day, even if it's just once.
2. I would recommend a crate while you're gone, somewhere in the house that he can't see out a window at passersby. This would keep him from being distracted and may calm him down, it lets him feel like he has a den rather than a large open area he has to defend. If he has a bed, you can put it in the crate with him, don't make the crate too large, and usually ones that aren't open wire are more comforting than open ones.
3. When you're home with him, lots of exercise. One thing that we do with our lab is stairs, one of us will stand at the top of the stairs and one will stand at the bottom of the stairs and we'll call him back and forth until he's about ready to drop. Works great for dogs that aren't great at socializing. Monkey in the middle with balls is another good one, if you have a good sized back yard, play fetch.
4. Mental toys in his crate with him, give him a Kong toy with peanut butter inside that he has to work to get it out of, or the Kong toy with the hole for small treats that they have to roll just right before the treat falls out like this one, https://www.amazon.com/KONG-Gyro-Do...rd_wg=um3qS&psc=1&refRID=2J358KBKKS9JCV1N6C7Z

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Well it only took 9 posts for someone to finally point out that the dog needs exercise and something besides sitting home doing nothing for most of the day, and thankfully many other posters advocated the same.

For some, even many, dogs, this is fine. But it sounds like it's not enough for THIS dog. The dog could possibly be a completely different type dog if it had a daily routine with someone that included lots of exercise. (So for that reason, I would support rehoming if you can find such a home for him, not just put him in another unsuitable situation.)

A Labrador Retriever is a dog BRED TO WORK. It's an INNATE NEED for him to be doing something and expending a LOT of energy. His barking and anxious behaviors are because he literally doesn't know what else to do with himself. A working dog will make up his own "job" if you don't give him one. This is a classic dog problem that all the trainers and collars in the world won't be able to fix by themselves.

If you, or someone, were to redirect his energy, there could probably be an amazing transformation. We've all seen it when a previously neglected dog is given the opportunity to blossom. (And I don't mean it to say that your dog is neglected such as an abused dog, as I can hear that you love the dog and are doing the best you can given the circumstances; what I mean is that this dog's needs for work and release of pent up energy are not being met in the situation he's in right now.)

I mean, he may never be the type of dog that's going to be friendly at a dog park (in fact, he should not go there if he is aggressive towards other dogs), or the absolute best behaved ever since he's got a lot of learned negative behaviors now, but he could improve his quality of life so that at least he's not chronically frustrated, destructive and barking. That will be the best hope for this particular dog.

I will reiterate, a tired dog is a happy dog. One that's exhausted from physical and mental exertion. One who's been part of a social group that's doing things, even if this means one person being with the dog during the day, including it in their routine, and going for walks and playing fetch, etc. A contented, sleeping dog is a beautiful thing. As you've seen, an unhappy, frustrated working dog who isn't expending his energy, is not.

OP, as I said, I think rehoming would be a good option. Just try to find a good rescue or appropriate home if you can find anyone willing to take him. But honestly, it might be difficult given what you'd described. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I have no doubt you love and care about the dog. Really.

I think there's a lot more to talk about on this subject that has to do with picking out the right type of dog when you welcome one into your home and that includes its personality and your lifestyle. Most people probably make more of an emotional choice when they fall in love with a dog and take it home but it may not necessarily be the right dog for them. And of course it may not be the best thing for the dog to go into a situation that's not ideal for them, either. As I said, most dogs probably do fine sitting around all day. But there are some that don't do well at all. Our shelters are full of pets that have become problematic. So sure, adopt from shelters, there are so many pets there. But this isn't really addressing the problems that stem from WHY so many pets are winding up in shelters in the first place. Today, we know so much better. This is why many shelters and rescues try so hard to match the right pet to the right home, and may not even consider a home if it doesn't meet a particular pet's individual needs. They try to set up for success whenever possible.

You are going to get slammed and I’m sorry for that.

Well, there you go.

I'm sure many will consider my post here slamming, but the reason I've sat here for the last hour writing this (and even using up my battery and data despite our having NO POWER here given we're in the midst of a Nor'Easter) is because I CARE about this poster and I CARE about the dog, so I want to share my most honest and heartfelt, experienced opinion in the hopes it may just bring another perspective.

This is a subject I'm passionate about, just like you have subjects you are passionate about.

OP, no doubt it is tough to hear this type of advice. But it's the truth. If there are trainers out there saying this problem can be solved with medication and collars, then that truly saddens me.

And that's not to say that there are not some pets who might do well on medications like Prozac for other reasons such as this poster's pet...

Yes to medication. We have a small rescue terrier who came from a puppy mill with no socialization. She was incredibly anxious and destruction. She now has a prozac prescription for anxiety and it has REALLY helped. It is not a panacea but with training, patience and correction it has made a huge difference.

It also sounds like he needs more exercise. A tired dog is a happy dog. I know you said he picks fights at the dog park but regular socialization could help and the activity would be great. Our youngest lab goes to day care three days a week and while she doesn't have behavior issues, she (and we) are much happier when she has her play time.

You could also look into activities like agility or coursing, something to work his brain and body.

... so I am not slamming medication per se. What I am saying is that in THIS situation, what the dog just likely needs is something to do that involves vigorous daily exercise. Every. day. Of course, it's possible that there's more to it than that, especially at this point, but vigorous daily exercise would go a long way towards helping this dog with its problems, as would someone being home with the dog who the dog can take his cues from. THEN you can reassess whether this dog needs medication or not. Perhaps he may, but it should ideally be in conjunction with other interventions.

Also, OP, pick up a book called Good Owners, Great Dogs. It might help you understand your dog's needs more.

Good luck.

 

[Be Enchanted]

I think the vet might be able to help with some anti anxiety meds or something.

I have to wonder about the quality of the windows in your house and your neighbors house. I can't imagine that they hear from inside your house in their house with all the windows closed.

I agree, that was my first reaction too - could he really hear it from inside his house?!? His bark is very loud when you stand outside of our house, you can definitely hear it if you're walking by. His house is pretty close to mine so I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was truthful. Perhaps he exaggerated - maybe he was in his backyard with his dog and mine was barking, I'm not sure.