Marriage Encounter weekend: Anybody ever do one of these? UPDATED

[Zippa D Doodah]

Well, DW and I are just hours away from one. All I know is couples go check in at a local motel for three days. Christian-based, but not exclusively so. There are some talks and presentations, but much of the time is in-room. It is about "making good marriages better". Couples are encouraged to keep to themselves, and there is no group sharing time. *whew!* To the best of my knowledge this is NOT a swingers club.

It sounded interesting at the time we were invited. Maybe I'll have a real interesting update to this thread on Monday.

 

[java]

The only time I had to do that was before we were married. It was as if we stepped into bizzaro world.
But we are still married 17 years later so maybe it helped?
Good luck and take notes for us!!
I do remember them asking what is it that made you fall in love with each other- and share with the group. All the men went first sharing looking into her soul kind of stuff, then my husband to be gets up and says "She is a fantastic cook"

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I gotta tell you, after 14+ years I still love my wife more than life itself, but the thought of group sharing about our relationship makes me break out in cold sweats.

The only place I could do that would be on the DIS.

 

[Buckalew11]

I've enever done one. I probably would but DH is not the "sharing' type, LOL.

We have done a couple class at church with our SS class (but this class was on Sunday nights). We had a blast in there. You sure learn a lot about people and yourselves!

have a great time. I have a client who conducts such weekend with her DH. They are Presbyterian and a very cool couple who are probably approaching their 50th anniversary!

 

[Principessa Alba]

I actually know a couple that got divorced immediately after one!

 

[alabamaalan]

No, but we have attended and volunteered at Family Life "Weekend to Remember" conferences.

It's the same sort of thing, but very much Christian based. I'm sure you'll survive

 

[imsorry]

I gotta tell you, after 14+ years I still love my wife more than life itself, but the thought of group sharing about our relationship makes me break out in cold sweats.

The only place I could do that would be on the DIS.

so true!!!

 

[connorlevismom]

My parents used to belong to marriage encounter and they loved it. It was an actual group that was formed from their chuch so I am assuming it is the same type of thing. They met many wonderful friends and all I remember them doing is having parties at each others houses and having some drinks.

Kristine

 

[mickeyboat]

Well, DW and I are just hours away from one. All I know is couples go check in at a local motel for three days. Christian-based, but not exclusively so. There are some talks and presentations, but much of the time is in-room. It is about "making good marriages better". Couples are encouraged to keep to themselves, and there is no group sharing time. *whew!* To the best of my knowledge this is NOT a swingers club.

It sounded interesting at the time we were invited. Maybe I'll have a real interesting update to this thread on Monday.

Sounds to me like a chance to catch up on some sleep and some .

Denae

 

[cybrkitn]

Is it A Weekend to Remember that is done by Family Life? DH and I haven't done that one yet. We did "Rekindle the Romance" (also by Family Life) when DS5 was still a baby. Both of us got a lot out of it.

 

[RichNKatHolly]

Sounds to me like a chance to catch up on some sleep and some .

Denae

I like this. Where do I sign up?

 

[Toby'sFriend]

we got some literature once for one of those. Then we read that they removed the TVs from the hotel rooms and that was the end of that idea.

 

[JR6ooo4]

We did the Pre-Cana conference before getting married. We had three options: the weeknight rush style, the saturday only or the saturday-stay over-and sunday conference. We figured, for the cost, do the overnight dealy. It would be almost like a mini vacation.

It was taught by volunteers who acted out husband/wife arguments then we had to go sit alone and write a page about how we felt after watching them.
After about three skits DW and I decided to bolt. It was at a convent near chicago and they locked the main gate at 9pm. So we were sneaking down the back halls carrying our suitcases trying to get to the secretaries desk to return the room keys with out getting caught by the rest of the couples and the hosts. We totaly felt like the vontrap family trying to sneak away!!! hehehehee

we stopped for some beer on the way home and watched movies the rest of the night. Then told the priest that we did not get anything from it and that it was very predictable and stereotypical. He laughed with us, he is the best priest....

Mikeeeee

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

and boy am I tired. I would not want to demean or belittle Marriage Encounter because I am certain some people get a lot out of it and it makes a huge difference in their lives. But it was one of those things where it just wasn't for us. We found ourselves being more snarky (just bewteen the two of us) than anything else after that. The bonding over snarkiness is always nice. Definitely church based, which was cool for us. The "catch" was that the entire experience centered around teaching and equipping couples for this one certain communication technique that DW and I knew right away would not be for us. Being the polite folks we are and being that the number of couples was so small and being that we are getting 1.5 CEUs for the weekend, we resisted the urge to leave early.

I don't guess I'm ruining any surprises to tell y'all that the weeked consisted of a series of several talks. After each talk each member of the couple goes off and journals by him/herself. Then the couple gets together and goes over what they have written with one another. That's the part that happens back in your motel room. There were some fun variations on this, but not enough to suit us. Not much time in those in-room sessions for . Some creativity was required. Friday evening went until about 10PM. Saturday was a 14 hour day -7:30AM until 9:30PM. Today went from 6AM until 4PM.

It was advertised as a "working weekend", and that was no lie! DW and I did appreciate the motivation to write some love letters to each other, and -ummm -enjoy the aftermath of many of them. A little more undirected time would have been nice, as would an acknowledgment that a couple does not need to adopt this technique they emphasize in order to have a great marriage.

If anyone is interested, know that there is no group sharing -which is a good thing IMO. And be fully aware that you will write and share with your spouse A LOT. And don't go if you become snarky easily!

 

[DawnCt1]

DH and I did it YEARS ago when he was in medical school and I was the only one working. Our lives were about paying tuition, paying the rent, saving $$$ and paying the tuition and paying the rent. A big night out was PIZZA! We went to marriage encounter because we got to go to a hotel, eat hotel meals and not have to clean up. We had a wonderful time and I don't remember a thing about Marriage Encounter itself. Its just that it was cheaper than staying home.

 

[jimmiej]

Our church has sponsored something similiar the past few years. It's usually held in a nice hotel in San Antonio. DW & I never went. We didn't want to mess up a good thing!

 

[Buckalew11]

DW & I never went. We didn't want to mess up a good thing!

I feel sure that is what my DH says!
He would hate writing stuff.

Was that the way they were encouraging you all to communicate?

Glad you survived! DH and I got snarky (to ourselves) during lamaze classes!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I feel sure that is what my DH says!
He would hate writing stuff.

Was that the way they were encouraging you all to communicate?
Glad you survived! DH and I got snarky (to ourselves) during lamaze classes!

The whole idea is that couples can have a better marriage by committing to spending 30 minutes a day writing a love letter to one another and then talking about the feelings revealed in the letter. Like I said, I feel rather sheepish belittling Mariage Encounter because I know it must be great for some couples -just not for me and DW.

A highlight for us was the snarky little comments we would whisper to one another throughout the weekend. It was like we were sharing in the experience -for better or for worse. I shudder to think what it would have been like if one of us thought this was really awesome and the other thought it wasn't.

ETA: Buckalew, some of the couples leading the weekend were from eastern TN.

 

[diznygirl]

The whole idea is that couples can have a better marriage by committing to spending 30 minutes a day writing a love letter to one another and then talking about the feelings revealed in the letter. Like I said, I feel rather sheepish belittling Mariage Encounter because I know it must be great for some couples -just not for me and DW.

A highlight for us was the snarky little comments we would whisper to one another throughout the weekend. It was like we were sharing in the experience -for better or for worse. I shudder to think what it would have been like if one of us thought this was really awesome and the other thought it wasn't.

ETA: Buckalew, some of the couples leading the weekend were from eastern TN.

Sounds like the Engaged Encounter weenkend DH and I went on oh-so many years ago.

But we were so very surprised by the couples who were there who had NO IDEA what the other one felt about certain topics - like children for instance! Some of this stuff should have been decided before an engagement. For them - some sort of pre-marriage counseling was a necessity!!!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Sounds like the Engaged Encounter weenkend DH and I went on oh-so many years ago.

But we were so very surprised by the couples who were there who had NO IDEA what the other one felt about certain topics - like children for instance! Some of this stuff should have been decided before an engagement. For them - some sort of pre-marriage counseling was a necessity!!!

Yeah, I think Engagement Encounter is like a subsidiary of Marriage Encounter. Seems like they mentioned something about that at the closing today, but my mind was mush by then.