How do I make DH understand it's not weird to visit Disney/Universal without the kids?

Penmac

Mouseketeer
Joined
Mar 31, 2017
Background- I have been a lifelong Disney fan. We visited the parks just a couple times when I was a teen (and Disneyland for a day when I was 9), so it's really not something I grew up doing regularly. Because of that, it never occurred to me to travel there when I was single. But, I always loved the music and movies. I even owned the box set of the music of Disney. In 8th grade, I knew every word to every classic Disney song! :-) My husband grew up with zero Disney influence and could care less about it, one way or the other.

We didn't start taking our kids there until 4 years ago, and we have gone once a year since. My husband, although indifferent to the Disney culture, actually really loves his time at the parks. He is usually the happiest person in our family when we are there! But, he constantly moans and groans when I inevitably mention vacationing there, yet again. Each time we go, he declares that we aren't going back for 3 more years, but he always caves. We do have plans to take the kids again in maybe late 2019 and he has agreed to that. Mainly, because the family has a 1 day pass that expires on 12/31/19 that we haven't used. We are undecided on when to go, but we will figure it out.

We are both turning 40 within two weeks of each other at end of November/early December 2018. He has mentioned possibly taking a trip away without the kids. This would be the first time away from them since my almost 10 year old was born. We have 5 kids. We went to Chicago for a weekend in 2012 when I was a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding, and that's it. It was a busy weekend and we barely saw each other. We do not have grandparents we can ask to babysit for more than an hour or two. In fact, my mother lives with me and I am her full time caretaker. This is why we never travel without the kids. Asking anyone to watch 5 kids is an enormous ask, and we just don't go there with family. But, this is a big birthday year for both of us and I know my amazing SIL would love to help us get away for a couple nights.

We want:

1. to go someplace warmer than here (we live in the Northeast and are not into winter sports so a ski weekend is out of the question).
2. Direct flight less than 3.5 hours
3. Be able to swim if the weather happens to cooperate.

He wants to go to a Caribbean island. Believe me- I would LOVE this. I love the beach. But- Airfare/hotel will be high, and we can't get to any island without less than a 10 hour travel day with layovers etc. Since my sister in law will likely be watching my kids, and my brother taking my mom, and my 3 year old (and sometimes also my 4 year old) still refuses to sleep through the night, we can't do more than 3 nights away. I would even be more comfortable with 2 nights, truthfully. I feel as though he is subconsciously suggesting an unattainable vacation because he knows it's logistically impossible. He won't get stuck with me saying he wasn't willing to do anything to celebrate our milestone birthdays :-). See where I am coming from? Spending thousands to get just 2 beach days and hours of long travel seems unreasonable to me. And since he is super smart, I know he has to see the flaw in this plan.

I suggested traveling to Orlando for 2 nights without the kids. We can take a 6am direct flight and be there by 9am. Stay 2 nights and fly home morning or mid-afternoon third day. I said we could even skip Disney and do a day at Universal. I am also HP obsessed and have never been because we felt some of our kids were not old enough on past trips to justify the expense of Universal. I would also really love to see Disney decorated for the holidays because I love Christmas!!!

He thinks the whole idea is madness. He can't imagine being there without our kids. He said the fun for him there is seeing how much they enjoy themselves. I think it would be really enjoyable, for both of us. But, I don't want to be selfish. It's his birthday too. But, Florida is really the only place we can fly that meets our above guidelines for a weekend away. I did say we could do Fort Lauderdale, but if the weather is cool, we won't be able to do too much besides go out to eat and relax at the hotel. Maybe not a bad thing, but he agreed he wouldn't want to be stuck there for a weekend in blah weather.

OK, lots of rambling here. Thanks in advance!
 
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The only reason my dh ever went to WDW is for the kids. He is not in to Disney, or theme parks so for him it was always about family when we went. The only way I got him to go for our anniversary without the kids was to go to the Food and Wine fest. We spent 4 days just in Epcot eating and drinking our way around the booths, and even did some attractions. Spent alot of time laying by the pool at the resort too. He loved it, and wants to do it again, but he has no plans to ever do a "whole" WDW vacation ever again. I'm OK with that because I know I can get him to F&W.

I forgot we did the Aqua Seas tour and he really loved the backstage portion. I think he enjoyed that more than snorkeling in the tank.
Maybe you could plan something like a tour that he may like to get him to see it is more than just "kid" rides and shows.
 
The only reason my dh ever went to WDW is for the kids. He is not in to Disney, or theme parks so for him it was always about family when we went. The only way I got him to go for our anniversary without the kids was to go to the Food and Wine fest. We spent 4 days just in Epcot eating and drinking our way around the booths, and even did some attractions. Spent alot of time laying by the pool at the resort too. He loved it, and wants to do it again, but he has no plans to ever do a "whole" WDW vacation ever again. I'm OK with that because I know I can get him to F&W.

I forgot we did the Aqua Seas tour and he really loved the backstage portion. I think he enjoyed that more than snorkeling in the tank.
Maybe you could plan something like a tour that he may like to get him to see it is more than just "kid" rides and shows.

Thanks for the advice. If we do Universal, it will be the first time for both of us. He also likes the Harry Potter series, so I know it would be fun and different for us both for a day. There is so much to see at Disney around Christmas that I am sure we could find a ton to entertain us without feeling like we need to do kid stuff, i.e. ride The Little Mermaid or Winnie The Pooh, :-) I definitely couldn’t do those rides without my babies!

I would think pool time (if weather cooperates) and going to a couple resorts to take in the decorations, and visiting Disney Springs for dinner/drinks could check that box. We wouldn’t necessarily need to visit a park (besides Universal). If we do, I would probably try to stay at Swan or Dolphin and choose Epcot for the decorations. I need my kids to be with me to experience MVMCP, for the first time anyway. :-)
 
I'm the biggest Universal fan in the world, and I totally get wanting to go there without younger kids. In your case, I'd probably watch a discount travel site like https://www.travelzoo.com/ for a few days to see if I could come up with a reasonable priced vacation that you both would enjoy.

That said, Universal can definitely be a more adult experience. Stay in one of the onsite hotels with the Express Pass to (a) avoid lines and (b) get a more tropical feeling pool area. Royal Pacific might meet the aesthetic that your DH wants. The boats to the parks just take minutes, and, IMO, City Walk is even more adult friendly than Disney Springs. I have done a 3 day weekend at Universal, and I was able to fit everything I wanted to do into the weekend.
 


I'm fully a fan of adults-only at the parks. DH and I finally took our couples trip last NYE, and we plan to go back next October just the two of us. You can relax and take time to do whatever you want! We also took the opportunity for more signature meals. We stayed at Kidani Village for part of it and spent a lot of time just hanging out at the resort. Depending on what type of trip you're looking for (gogogo or more relaxed), I think it's a great destination. But your DH has to see beyond the "kids" and realize how much is offered just for adults. DHS and Epcot during the holidays are awesome, if you're wanting to save MK for when the kids are with you.

Good luck deciding and have a great time no matter what you choose!!
 
I totally agree that Disney (and Universal) is not just for kids. I am taking my first 10 day solo trip to the world in 23 day for my significant birthday.. With that being said, since he "caves" and has spent vacation time at Disney for the past few years, maybe give in and do a few days at a beach in south Florida.
 


While I personally think WDW can be an amazing experience without kids, I probably wouldn't go that route if your DH isn't into it. If you only get away alone once every 10 years or so, it should be a destination that you are both really excited about.

I agree. If you have to convince him, it's not the right place to go. Try Vegas. It's always warm there and plenty of fun for 2 adults celebrating a milestone birthday.
 
It seems the only easy place for us to fly to from our home is Florida, so I get what your saying.

However, I didn't love Disney without the kids so I'll be the voice of decent. Florida is a huge state with lots of cool places to visit with nicer hotels and better restaurants that I think are less expensive. I'd look at Key West, Naples, Tampa, Siesta Key, Amelia Island etc. Even if the weather isn't perfect, just being together, kid free will be fabulous. I think for a special trip, you both should be excited about the destination and it would be fun to explore a new place together.
 
I agree. If you have to convince him, it's not the right place to go. Try Vegas. It's always warm there and plenty of fun for 2 adults celebrating a milestone birthday.

Thanks. Vegas is over a 5 hour flight from where we live, so that's out! Maybe when our kids are older and we can leave them for a longer time period.


It seems the only easy place for us to fly to from our home is Florida, so I get what your saying.

However, I didn't love Disney without the kids so I'll be the voice of decent. Florida is a huge state with lots of cool places to visit with nicer hotels and better restaurants that I think are less expensive. I'd look at Key West, Naples, Tampa, Siesta Key, Amelia Island etc. Even if the weather isn't perfect, just being together, kid free will be fabulous. I think for a special trip, you both should be excited about the destination and it would be fun to explore a new place together.

Thanks for those suggestions! I am going to look into Naples and possibly Clearwater. I've always wanted to meet Winter & Hope. :-) I am really not opposed to doing something different, as long as it's someplace warmer than here and convenient to get to- i.e. Florida. We really can't make an island destination work on our limited time frame. I did suggest Fort Lauderdale to him since it's pretty far south and would increase the chances of warm weather, and he immediately shot it down after researching the average temp in December. Not hot enough to depend on beach or pool weather. He is basically talking me in a circle to avoid having to plan anything, even though he wants to go away. Impossible man. HA!


While I personally think WDW can be an amazing experience without kids, I probably wouldn't go that route if your DH isn't into it. If you only get away alone once every 10 years or so, it should be a destination that you are both really excited about.

Thanks. I am going to talk to him again and make him come up with some solid and reasonable suggestions- i,e. not an island that takes 10 hrs to get to when you only have 72 hours to work with. Our kids are still just too little and too many to disappear for more than 3 days. If he doesn't want to do my trip, that's ok, but he needs to at least contribute a reasonable alternative. My husband is the best person I know, but impossible to plan vacations with. He grew up in a family that never took vacations. His parents grew up in very humble circumstances. They did well when they moved to this country and are so generous with their family and grandkids, but the culture of their home was work hard and save you money to buy property or pay for school. Vacations are a luxury they didn't ever extend to themselves. They only travel for a purpose- if someone weds, or someone dies. I think my husband struggles with a lot of guilt over taking vacations for this reason, especially since we have 5 kids and he doesn't want to be frivolous. If I did not plan our family vacations, we would never, ever take them. I even had to plan our honeymoon solo. And I have never planned a trip he hasn't complained about. I think I could suggest any vacation, and he would find something wrong with it, but he always LOVES it when he gets there. He is so happy on vacation because he works so hard. He has basically said he will go to Orlando with me, but wants to grumble about it. I am looking for some solid reasons to present to him that can at least show him it's not lunacy to visit Orlando without kids. If he can suggest something else, I am on board. I guess time will tell!!!!
 
Why are you so fixated on the length of the flight being under 3.5 hours? Leave on the earliest flight out and a couple hours won't make a huge difference over a 3 day period.
 
You are probably right, but I guess I want to spend as little time possible commuting and maximize our limited vaca time. Plus, when I priced out going far away (i.e. an island) it was a lot more expensive. Since we really only have 2 full days to work with, it seems unreasonable to spend a lot on flights. Going for 5-7 days would be completely different. Truthfully, I haven’t even researched Vegas because it isn’t a trip we’ve ever talked about. I’ve never had much interest in going there but maybe I will offer it up to him as an option. It’s an almost 6 hour flight on JetBlue. If we have any delays, that will eat up a huge amount of our time away. I know there’s a time change that will work in our favor on the way there but Florida just seems so much more convenient. With that said, I’m willing to compromise. If he suddenly perks up at the mention of Vegas or LA, even if it means almost double commute time- I’ll do it.

Why are you so fixated on the length of the flight being under 3.5 hours? Leave on the earliest flight out and a couple hours won't make a huge difference over a 3 day period.
 
Once your kiddies are grown, you and your DS can begin enjoy doing more trips together, perhaps tooling around Disney during F&W, doing fun things at your own pace, things that you and he want to do for yourselves. With that being said, all of our vacas were spent with our boys while they were growing up(wouldn't trade those days for a minute!). We didn't ask family to pitch in to watch them while we went away without them(we did not choose to leave them with a paid sitter for any extended period of time), so we chose places that appealed to the kids and we could enjoy all together. Those were fun vacations, great memories. But now that both of our DS are grown, we still enjoy vacations which include all of us, including brand new daughter in law, and hopefully grandkids one day, BUT certainly are enjoying the almost "empty nest" by vacationing together. As one of the other posts said, if you do not go away together very often, choose a place that you mutually would enjoy!::yes:: Any native Floridians can correct me, but won't Naples and Clearwater probably be about the same temp as Ft. Lauderdale?(Ft Lauderdale area is very fun!). If you are into "the beach" take note of the Red Tide that has been occurring on the West Coast of Florida for about 10 months, which might include Clearwater at this time.
ENJOY your time away childless!:cheer2::thumbsup2
 
You are probably right, but I guess I want to spend as little time possible commuting and maximize our limited vaca time. Plus, when I priced out going far away (i.e. an island) it was a lot more expensive. Since we really only have 2 full days to work with, it seems unreasonable to spend a lot on flights. Going for 5-7 days would be completely different. Truthfully, I haven’t even researched Vegas because it isn’t a trip we’ve ever talked about. I’ve never had much interest in going there but maybe I will offer it up to him as an option. It’s an almost 6 hour flight on JetBlue. If we have any delays, that will eat up a huge amount of our time away. I know there’s a time change that will work in our favor on the way there but Florida just seems so much more convenient. With that said, I’m willing to compromise. If he suddenly perks up at the mention of Vegas or LA, even if it means almost double commute time- I’ll do it.

The flight can be enjoyable time together as a couple. Order some drinks, curl up and watch a movie together on a tablet. It's still time alone together without kids, so win win! And yes, traveling west means you make up three hours on arrival, so it's like having a 2.5-3 hour flight anyway!
 
It is certainly not weird to visit Disney without kids. DW and I have been doing it for over 20 years. We liked it so much we are now Disney snowbirds. It started with me being having the Disney spark watching Uncle Walt on TV in my childhood and DW grew to enjoy the overall Disney experience.

A few days in the first or second week of December is a wonderful time to visit WDW. The parks and the resorts are decorated for the holiday. If it were me, I would plan a couple of nights at one of the Epcot resorts and enjoy the evenings wandering around the World Showcase, finding a good place to have a nice dinner, and watching the Holiday Illuminations. Make it more of a holiday/resort visit then a Disney visit. The birthday splurge is the stay at one of the deluxe resorts. We are fans of the Boardwalk but any of the Epcot resorts provide the "walk to Epcot" experience. For adults I feel that the Epcot resort area is the best location on site. You will have plenty to do for two days just within walking distance.

Good luck with your planning!
 
It is certainly not weird to visit Disney without kids. DW and I have been doing it for over 20 years. We liked it so much we are now Disney snowbirds. It started with me being having the Disney spark watching Uncle Walt on TV in my childhood and DW grew to enjoy the overall Disney experience.

A few days in the first or second week of December is a wonderful time to visit WDW. The parks and the resorts are decorated for the holiday. If it were me, I would plan a couple of nights at one of the Epcot resorts and enjoy the evenings wandering around the World Showcase, finding a good place to have a nice dinner, and watching the Holiday Illuminations. Make it more of a holiday/resort visit then a Disney visit. The birthday splurge is the stay at one of the deluxe resorts. We are fans of the Boardwalk but any of the Epcot resorts provide the "walk to Epcot" experience. For adults I feel that the Epcot resort area is the best location on site. You will have plenty to do for two days just within walking distance.

Good luck with your planning!
Disney Snowbirds sounds fun!::yes:: Great way to beat the real cold..tougher to handle as we age!:scared1:
 
Thanks. Vegas is over a 5 hour flight from where we live, so that's out! Maybe when our kids are older and we can leave them for a longer time period.




Thanks for those suggestions! I am going to look into Naples and possibly Clearwater. I've always wanted to meet Winter & Hope. :-) I am really not opposed to doing something different, as long as it's someplace warmer than here and convenient to get to- i.e. Florida. We really can't make an island destination work on our limited time frame. I did suggest Fort Lauderdale to him since it's pretty far south and would increase the chances of warm weather, and he immediately shot it down after researching the average temp in December. Not hot enough to depend on beach or pool weather. He is basically talking me in a circle to avoid having to plan anything, even though he wants to go away. Impossible man. HA!




Thanks. I am going to talk to him again and make him come up with some solid and reasonable suggestions- i,e. not an island that takes 10 hrs to get to when you only have 72 hours to work with. Our kids are still just too little and too many to disappear for more than 3 days. If he doesn't want to do my trip, that's ok, but he needs to at least contribute a reasonable alternative. My husband is the best person I know, but impossible to plan vacations with. He grew up in a family that never took vacations. His parents grew up in very humble circumstances. They did well when they moved to this country and are so generous with their family and grandkids, but the culture of their home was work hard and save you money to buy property or pay for school. Vacations are a luxury they didn't ever extend to themselves. They only travel for a purpose- if someone weds, or someone dies. I think my husband struggles with a lot of guilt over taking vacations for this reason, especially since we have 5 kids and he doesn't want to be frivolous. If I did not plan our family vacations, we would never, ever take them. I even had to plan our honeymoon solo. And I have never planned a trip he hasn't complained about. I think I could suggest any vacation, and he would find something wrong with it, but he always LOVES it when he gets there. He is so happy on vacation because he works so hard. He has basically said he will go to Orlando with me, but wants to grumble about it. I am looking for some solid reasons to present to him that can at least show him it's not lunacy to visit Orlando without kids. If he can suggest something else, I am on board. I guess time will tell!!!!
I don't think your "fixated" on Florida, and with your limited amount of time I totally agree with a 2 - 2.5 hour flight.
I would present Universal to him. Have everything planned and figured out, so he can't really find a reason for not going.
It's usually pretty good park weather that time of year, not too hot. But really not good beach weather.
Skip Disney (I know, heresy) and just do Universal. It will be a new experience for both of you.
Congratulations on making it to 40!
 
I guess if he doesn't like the place it will be difficult to convince him, because he is probably just using that excuse not to go. I just turned 70. 18 years ago I after making 30 trips to WDW with family, I got divorced. Since that time I have gone there solo 16 times. But, I really enjoy the place and when I go back I usually have a certain amount of time just thinking back to the days of family travel and the fun that it was. However, even without that I enjoy being there as an adult and have never once thought that the place was just for kids.
 
Our "kid" is 23. So it has been years since we went with a child.

And I can say that Disney is a great adults only trip. We don't worry about so many things that others have to worry about. We can plan our days with different things in mind.

It works for us.
 
Once your kiddies are grown, you and your DS can begin enjoy doing more trips together, perhaps tooling around Disney during F&W, doing fun things at your own pace, things that you and he want to do for yourselves. With that being said, all of our vacas were spent with our boys while they were growing up(wouldn't trade those days for a minute!). We didn't ask family to pitch in to watch them while we went away without them(we did not choose to leave them with a paid sitter for any extended period of time), so we chose places that appealed to the kids and we could enjoy all together. Those were fun vacations, great memories. But now that both of our DS are grown, we still enjoy vacations which include all of us, including brand new daughter in law, and hopefully grandkids one day, BUT certainly are enjoying the almost "empty nest" by vacationing together. As one of the other posts said, if you do not go away together very often, choose a place that you mutually would enjoy!::yes:: Any native Floridians can correct me, but won't Naples and Clearwater probably be about the same temp as Ft. Lauderdale?(Ft Lauderdale area is very fun!). If you are into "the beach" take note of the Red Tide that has been occurring on the West Coast of Florida for about 10 months, which might include Clearwater at this time.
ENJOY your time away childless!:cheer2::thumbsup2
Thanks, and I do know the temps in Naples, etc won't be any different. :-) Was just thinking of different areas with eperiences he may miraculously be more interested in visiting. Thanks for the red tide tip. Ick.
 

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