I don’t have any advice about what your son should do now, but it sounds like you’re on the right track. I know how difficult making these decisions can be. My son is a four year NCAA athlete who was in his fourth year last year. He had seven months in on training and practicing and all those things they do in preparation for the playing season, when they lost it all in March due to Covid. Tough as senior, but it was tough on everyone else who was part of the team, as well. I’m still on the parent group emails and many people continue to be at a real loss of what to do, even now - with talk of transfers, loss, finances, scholarships, studies, new teams, you name it. There is a lot of disappointment all over with what has happened to teams. My son could’ve played a fifth year, but chose not to, as he wanted to move on with life and start his chosen career, etc. He had an absolutely amazing time, though, during his four years with his team, and it will be an experience he cherishes for a lifetime.
Why am I posting? Well, reading through some of the messages that underclassmen (and others) wrote to DS to say goodbye, brought me to tears many times over. Many freshmen shared with him that he was the first person who welcomed them to the team, always had a hello for them, and mentored them in the sport, etc. I’m not going to say it surprised me, but being somewhat shy himself, it was something I was really glad to see. And reading what his coaches had to say about him couldn’t have made me more proud. Some of the things I read were things I hadn‘t heard from this team before - in college, there is very little parental involvement, if any (save for maybe a little bit of volunteerism ie fundraising and food), and the students don’t say much, so things can be a bit of a mystery, lol. So it was really nice that they all did that for the seniors.
Anyway, here’s my point: He should definitely try to work out with the team as much as he can, so they can get to know eachother. He should be friendly, and courteous, and listen to advice from others, etc. In other words, be humble. Some of these teams can have some strong personalities, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing; he just has to figure out where he fits in. But going in, he wants to show that he’s willing to work hard and listen as well as let his own personality shine if and when he feels comfortable. You never know what can happen if he’s liked and valued, even if it’s a minor role of some sort while he’s gray shirting. A friend of mine’s son made a good D1 football team but spent more time with his girlfriend than the team and subsequently didn’t really get to know team members and later felt he didn’t fit in, etc., and is now no longer playing. So that initial time with the team is important. Workouts are bonding time. They are also required to do volunteer activities so if possible, have your son do them with them. They always wind up having fun. Good luck, my fingers are crossed for him!
