deployment questions....

[My sister's princess]

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[KT27]

try: www.homefrontonline.com

They are a great group of girl friends, fiances, wives & prior military.

I have been a military spouse for a few years and just finished our 3rd deployment. Feel free to pm me if you need anything.

 

[My sister's princess]

Thank you! We are both in college, and he is guard, so we don't have many everyday friends that understand. They are acting like my life is ending...

 

[ginna74]

ty for the website!! I am going to check it out now!

 

[jsmith]

military.com has spouse and signifigant other forums as well including a thread for guard and reserve spouses and girlfriend (im a mod there). You need to be aware that if you are not married-as far as the army is concerned-you do no exist-he can place you on his primary contact list-and the unit FRG will keep you in the loop-and his Guard Unit might honor his wishes about notification-but big Army notifies next of kin-so that would be his parents. Im 30 years a NG spouse and FRG leader so if you have specific questions PM me and i will do the best to answer them-or find someone who can.

 

[My sister's princess]

Thanks for the info. I know that until we are married information will be limited. He did place me as his primary contact, so I will be kept in the loop. Any tips about things we should make sure are taken care of that they may not remind him of?

 

[jsmith]

okay im going to be straight up about that primary contact stuff-you may or may not be kept in the "loop". That information goes to the unit family readiness group-the quality of the information you get from them will be driven by the dedication of the volunteers and how the individial state runs its FRGS-my state is great with general information-my unit frg is useless-i get better information from my husband by far than what they distribute -its a curdshoot to know how good that information will be. Any other information such as causuality notification will go to his parents or a sibling-regardless of what he has indicated-thats just how the army works.
things to do-
make sure he gives you his address-the frg may or may not have it-and it is unlikely rear detachment will be able to give it to you-unless there is someone on rear who knows you and knows the relationship.
Try and find out if there is a DSN number he can call for moral calls-how that works-he dials from a government phone there to a government phone in your aread code and is then transfered to you-will save you big big bucks over time.
if you have a joint account-put him on an allowance and stick too it-its amazing what they can find to spend money on in a third world country-but they do-and they dont tend to be very aware of what they are spending-i have a huge box of stuff my husband has purchased on e-bay in his down time-and hes only been in country about 6 weeks-trust me we had a heart to heart about that
encourage him to investigate combat savings-its a great program and a great way to be sure the extra money finds its way home instead of into hajis pocket.
if he is going to get an in country cell phone do good investigation of the cheapest calling cards -i actualy have one that lets me calll iraq for 39 cents a minute. You can also use one of the voip sevices like skype or magic jack but bandwidth will make them not work so hot sometimes. get a webcam-even if you only use it twice the relief of seeing them and knowing they are really ok is huge.
oh-and stop watching the news-most of time its inaccurate-and all it will do is make you worry when you shouldnt

 

[My sister's princess]

Thank you so much for taking the time to help me with this. I made him read your whole post so that he could better understand where I am standing as far as things go. What you said about spending money is so funny because this AM he was telling me how he would be saving so much where there was not going to be anything to spend it on

 

[GJM]

My DH has been gone almost a year now his is Army Reserve - they do spend money! Before my DH left he said I won't really have to spend money at all.

Well he did when I told him how much he was surprised and actually hasn't spent that much since then.

We use Skype all the time and really never have any problems with it.

I don't receive any info my the FRG - I get a call every once in awhile making sure everything is OK, but they normally call when I am not even home.

I also had friends say to me "how are you going to do it with him gone a whole year" - you just do it! Honestly some websites I have gone on I can't even read, yes it is hard at times, but I can't just stop life because my DH is deployed, I have a job, and a DS to take care of.

I hope everything goes well for you -

 

[My sister's princess]

GJM you hit the nail on the head. I love my boy, and enjoy having him in my life everyday, but some of my friends are acting like I am getting my legs cut off.

 

[Stephanie218]

if you have a joint account-put him on an allowance and stick too it-its amazing what they can find to spend money on in a third world country-but they do-and they dont tend to be very aware of what they are spending-i have a huge box of stuff my husband has purchased on e-bay in his down time-and hes only been in country about 6 weeks-trust me we had a heart to heart about that

Haha, I agree 100% about this. My husband had been over there for a month when he bought a top of the line road bike on Ebay for several thousand dollars....and justified it because it was worth several thousand more! Nevermind the fact that I had to move it cross country, or that he wouldn't even ride it for 8 months...ugh. I'm still not over that lol. After that, he really didn't buy anything big the rest of deployment though.

Keep busy, don't watch the news, and make sure you have a current address. My husband's changed about 4 times before they finally got the right one, and he let me know before the unit contact even did. Good luck, hope the deployment flies by for you both.

 

[My sister's princess]

Haha, I agree 100% about this. My husband had been over there for a month when he bought a top of the line road bike on Ebay for several thousand dollars....and justified it because it was worth several thousand more! Nevermind the fact that I had to move it cross country, or that he wouldn't even ride it for 8 months...ugh. I'm still not over that lol. After that, he really didn't buy anything big the rest of deployment though.

Keep busy, don't watch the news, and make sure you have a current address. My husband's changed about 4 times before they finally got the right one, and he let me know before the unit contact even did. Good luck, hope the deployment flies by for you both.

Thank you! I am glad we made the decision that I will stay in our apartment until he gets back. I HATE moving and wouldn't want to do it without him, we live on the third/top floor of our building

 

[Stephanie218]

Thank you! I am glad we made the decision that I will stay in our apartment until he gets back. I HATE moving and wouldn't want to do it without him, we live on the third/top floor of our building

Yup, moving alone is miserable. We moved out of a 2 story-condo and I moved home for the deployment, and then came back out and moved into a tri-level condo a month before he came home. Talk about getting a workout moving in with all those stairs!!

 

[Auggietina]

Hi!

I've been through a deployment with the MEARNG. My dh was gone from 2004-2005. So it's been a couple of years, but I'll give you what I did back then.

Each unit should have a FRG. Get involved. Ours was small. I mean really small, and we tried to do something every month but no one showed up. But the ones that did show up (it was the same ones every time) became close and that was our time to check in with each other.

With the FRG, it was family friendly. Any one who had anything to do with a soldier was welcome to come and participate.

The communication from them will suck. You will know more from your soldier than anything else.

www.ivillage.com has a message board for just Guard and Reserve families. That place was my lifesaver when he was gone. I still talk to many of the ladies from three everyday, and it's 4 years later.

PM me if you need anymore information

 

[locolala]

www.dogtagsanddiamonds.com

The MOST AMAZING site ever. I'm on there, my name is in Russian so I'm easy to spot. My DH is active AF, best of luck to you! Just a heads up, you're not allowed to talk about MOS or rank over there cuz of OPSEC, and to be honest I don't tell anyone, even IRL, about what my hubs does.. just safer that way.

 

[jsmith]

Sue im curious-did your husband get out? because yours and mine were deployed the same time then-and mike is over again for a third time-this is getting old-lol.

 

[Auggietina]

Yes, My dh got out when he came back. He had 24+ years in and retired. His unit is getting ready to go back next year.

3rd time! Yeah, I can see where it gets old. One time was enough!