Jangles
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2022
- Messages
- 1,126
My son is 25. In November he started going out with a woman of a similar age and for his birthday in December she gifted him a 9 day holiday in Kos, (Greek Island) and some experiences …paragliding, wine tasting and a boat trip. To me it seemed too much too soon but I said nothing. Then it turned out that all she had actually purchased were two cheap budget airline flights, which cost her about £80 in total. Still generous but not exactly the gift as described to him. My son lives and works in London and about half his salary goes on rent, utilities, travel to work etc., and although I help him out occasionally (for example buying lunch or dinner when I visit London, or treating him to some clothes and slipping him the odd £50), he largely stands on his own two feet and has to be careful with what is left of his salary. His gf also rents in London and has just finished a Masters degree and relies on her parents and works in bars etc., to finance herself. When I discovered that the gf had not booked an hotel, I gave my son some credit card points I had which paid for their hotel for 7 days. I had enough for all 9 days but his gf wanted them to book an Airbnb for the other two nights when they got to Kos. I also gave him about Euros 200, left over from a trip I had recently taken to Europe. My son saved a bit every month for the trip, eventually putting £400 aside. Then last month he told me that his gf had borrowed £400 from him as she was behind on her rent and her parents wouldn’t help her out any more. When she was paid at the end of March, she paid him back. I asked him how she was going to be able to pay him back, pay her rent etc., and have spending money for the holiday, but he didn’t know (and it wasn’t any of my business). Anyway, they flew to Kos on Sunday night. Today (Wednesday) he telephoned for advice. His gf announced yesterday that she has no money at all to spend during the holiday, but was refusing to allow him to pay for meals out, trips etc and thought that they should fly home, even though that meant buying new return flights and wasting the prepaid hotel room. It turns out that she hasn’t booked any experiences, or has booked them but not paid for them. The hotel is nice, not grand, but nice enough, on the beach in Kos town, and the room has a sea view and balcony, with a table and chairs and a kitchenette and so far they have been catering for themselves, rather than eating out. My son has been buying groceries, but he wants to enjoy the holiday, visit some sites, go for drinks, eat at some local tavernas etc. I suggested that he should offer to finance the rest of the trip and that I would help him out. He said that he thinks he has enough money, so doesn’t need any money from me. The Airbnb they found for the last two nights is only Euros 60 and she is vegan and only eats raw foods, so hardly an expensive date. I also offered to lend him some money to lend to the gf but made it clear to my son that I would view it as his indebtedness to me not hers. When he made both offers to the gf she accused him of being selfish for wanting to continue with the holiday. What? She wants to fly home and organise a bank loan to pay her debts. She flat shares with a couple of other girls and apparently she has fallen behind with her rent , WiFi has been cut off and gas and electric are threatening to cut them off. I suggested to my son that if she wants to return to London he should stay and enjoy the rest of the holiday alone. He had a gap year backpacking in South America, and he is very sociable, so I am sure that he will still have fun. Does her behaviour strike you as odd? Isn’t she being the selfish one? He assures me that the relationship is in a good place. I do feel sorry for her because I am sure it is horrible worrying about debts, but why did she not tell my son of her situation before they left? Or am I missing something and looking at this the wrong way?
- wonderful vacation. I would be staying put whether she decides to go home.or not. And I certainly would be partaking in all the sites and glorious food surrounding you. Have a wonderful time.
