Why are you a single parent?

Discussion in 'Disney for Single Parents' started by ophelia2002, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. jmbarnes101

    jmbarnes101 Earning My Ears

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    Apr 1, 2016
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    It took a couple years to get there and there are days that are certainly worse then others but raising the kids is more important to us then being bitter that things didn't work out. For example I'll buy annuals passes to things like the zoo and the science museum and put my ex on it so she can take them if she wants. We all have passes to the local amusement park as well and attend school functions together. It's not ideal and I'll date again someday but for now it works.

    The only drawback for me is I have no family where we are other then my kids so I'd love to move but she doesn't want to.
     
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  2. Talby

    Talby DIS Veteran

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    After 13 years of marriage, my husband proposed an open marriage--which is exactly what it sounds like. Turns out he had been having an affair for 2 years prior to the proposition. He is not very involved with the kids even though we have joint custody. I feel that I am raising them and he babysits. It's an unfortunate situation in that regard. However, I do feel that I am so much better off. He was very controlling and manipulative and truly narcissistic. I can be me now where I was unable to do so within the confines of such an unhealthy and stifling marriage.

    It's been about 8 years now and it feels like that was a completely different life. My kids and I are extremely close and I love the dynamic of our little family of 3. I've forgiven and let go of all of it, and am happiest living in the moment. I do vividly recall the feelings of loneliness you expressed and still occasionally feel that way. It's just a different world as a single parent that is hard to relate to unless you have personally experienced it. I will echo the sentiments of other posters that we are here for you!! Time really does heal in this particular situation--I promise. Sending pixie dust your way! And to all the other single parents who have experienced this particular challenge!!
     
  3. ldymcbth

    ldymcbth DIS Veteran

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    I have found this thread really uplifting - not that there are so many of us out there, but that so many of you seem happy and okay and living your lives.

    My husband left me at the end of May after 12 years of marriage and 2 elementary aged kids - I had no idea he was thinking of leaving. He had been having an affair with a coworker 15 years younger than us, which I didn't immediately know - instead he told me how unhappy I'd made him, all of things I didn't do right, etc etc as his explanation for leaving. After internalizing all of that and blaming myself, I discovered evidence of the affair and he finally admitted to it.

    We took the kids to Disney frequently and one of my big worries about my new single parent life is whether I'll ever be able to afford that again. I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years and am now going to have to head back into the workforce, etc. It's a lot of change for us in a small amount of time, so it's dumb to fret about Disney amongst all that but I just wish from some happiness again, you know?

    I still have a huge road ahead of me - we have to establish a separation agreement, set custody arrangements, etc. I just wish for a fastforward button most days.

    Anyway, thanks to each of you for sharing your stories. I feel so sorry for those of you whose lovely spouses passed away. Sometimes life is not fair.
     
  4. Talby

    Talby DIS Veteran

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    While married, we took our kids to DW when they were 4 years and 18 months. We promised we would take them back when they were older so that the youngest would remember. I was a stay at home mom too when my husband left us for a much younger woman, and crazy as it sounds, I worried about getting them back to Disney to fulfill that promise made to them. It took 7 years of saving, but in 2013 the three of us went. It was incredible. Those years were so challenging for us, but I swear it added to the magic. I've been working a second job for the last 3 years to get us back to celebrate my daughter's HS graduation. She nearly died as an infant (a 24-week preemie) and this is an big milestone for any young person, but considering her start in life...well, it needs a celebration Disney style! :)

    I remember how overwhelming the transition from stay at home mom to head of the household was. You will grow in ways that at this moment might be hard to see. You WILL come out the other side. I guarantee you that you are stronger than you think you are. I can already tell you are a loving mother just by what you've written in your post. I'm rooting for you and your children and wish you all the best in this new chapter of your life (even though I know it's painful and challenging as well). :)
     
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