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would be there for 14 days- 12 "real" days, not counting arrival and departure days. If we got a 9 day ticket. Last trip we did morning park, afternoon rest, evening park, next day resort and repeat.
A 9-day ticket allows you to enter the park on 9 different days within a 13-day window of time. It sounds like that should work for you since you also plan multiple resort/non-park days -- 9 days with park entry and 5 days no parks. Whether you spend all day at the park(s) or enter briefly just for dinner, it counts as 1 park day off the ticket.

If you "might" enter the park on your arrival day, you will need to set the ticket "start" date as your arrival day. That means with a 9-day ticket and 14 days total on your trip, the ticket would not extend to your departure day. If you don't enter a park on arrival day, it will not re-set your tickets to start the next day, thus extending the use window to departure day. If you decided you might want that option on departure day, a 10-day ticket which is valid for a full 14-days.
 
For our iffy maybe trip, what happens if we plan to start November 1 at first park day, but due to whatever, we don’t go into park. How does that affect the tickets? Any problem going into parks the day after?
In December 2020 we bought tickets that started on Friday, and we didn't arrive until Sunday! It worked just fine, because they covered the days through the end of our stay.
 

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