Gay parents at WDW or DLR

[DisneyG33kDad65]

Jonathan here:
Being a single dad and gay with two kids (son 12 daughter 11 both live with their mom) I find it so hard to schedule vacation time at the resorts but also enjoy "me" time.

I tend to focus on DLR but will WDW or Cruise in the future.

Does anyone else's feel the frustration? Any suggestions?

 

[Maggie'sMom]

I think this is a situation all single parents face, gay or straight. I've never been to DLR so I can't speak to that, but I can tell you my DD loved the kids clubs at WDW. However, while the age limit is 12, the clubs do tend to be geared towards younger kids and yours have reached the age where they might feel too old for them. Disney cruises are a whole other story. They have clubs for tweens and teens. Most kids love the clubs on the cruises so much that parents don't see their kids much. Your kids are the perfect ages for the Edge, which is the club for tweens on the Disney ships. There are a number of activities and things for adults to do while the kids are in the clubs.

 

[momofboyz3]

Hiya Jonathon! Welcome!!
As a single mom of 3 boys... Teens and a tween, the struggle is real! My boys love the arcade so I load their cards and they can spend an hour in there. Sometimes I just need that hour. My boys are strong swimmers so I'm comfortable sitting on a lounge with an adult beverage while they go swimming. Another thing I've let mine do is go to the resort food court & the gift shop (with $$$ of course while I relax by the pool or on a bench). A friend of mine about the age of your kids had a date night with her husband and she felt comfortable leaving her 2 in the room with a pizza, junk food, a movie and video games. They were gone 2 hours and the kids enjoyed it.
I'm not sure if that's the advice your looking for but it's a few ideas. I love the idea of a cruise line..... Seems like that's where we would get plenty of "me" time!

 

[MsMamaBear]

I usually have Grandma come so she can watch my daughter. She's only 3 (4 in a month) and my only, so I need Grandma along. I'm hoping Grandma will watch her so I can go back to the Food and Wine Festival later to explore more. LOL!

 

[Accident]

DIS Unplugged did a really good podcast recently about how inclusive anything disney does is. I don't think you can go wrong with any situation and disney is far beyond everyone else when it comes to this. This is the podcast:

With WDW having so many resorts on property, I can see this being a little easier if you wanted to use their child care to get some me time. I've never been on the cruise, I'm not a fan of cruises but I would think they would have a lot of opportunities for me time.

 

[Tiffylv]

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[TXTransplant]

Single mom to a 10 year old here. It is tough to get any "alone" fine with traveling. As mentioned above, the cruises are GREAT for this...my son likes having his "alone" time as much as I do! If you can swing it financially, Adventures By Disney is another option. We did our first ABD trip in June, and there were several kids-only activities. And even when the adults and kids were together, the kids tended to stick together and entertain themselves. It was also great to have other adults around to talk to.

 

[MouseLovingMom]

I usually have Grandma come so she can watch my daughter. She's only 3 (4 in a month) and my only, so I need Grandma along. I'm hoping Grandma will watch her so I can go back to the Food and Wine Festival later to explore more. LOL!

I feel that! lol I want to explore the food and wine by myself too single mom too coming with my daughter and parents Nov.11-19

 

[JaxDad]

Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids? I am lucky to have my DS11 and DD8 50 percent of the time and still spend every minute I can with them, especially on vacations. (We just returned from a great time in Pigeon Forge, TN!) Maybe it's because I'm older (53) and generally don't care if I date or not? Again, just curious...

OP, I also wonder what you being gay has to do with this. We're you looking for more gay-specific recommendations? If you don't get them here, you can try the LGTB Forum. There is good information all across the DIS!

 

[DisneyG33kDad65]

Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids? I am lucky to have my DS11 and DD8 50 percent of the time and still spend every minute I can with them, especially on vacations. (We just returned from a great time in Pigeon Forge, TN!) Maybe it's because I'm older (53) and generally don't care if I date or not? Again, just curious...

OP, I also wonder what you being gay has to do with this. We're you looking for more gay-specific recommendations? If you don't get them here, you can try the LGTB Forum. There is good information all across the DIS!

First of all thank you for your honesty and curiousity:

1. I live for the moments I can have with my kids, I know that the moments are fleeting so I cherish each and every one. As an older dad too (45) I know that they won't want to hang with dad for that many more vacations.

2. Gay isn't the main topic here being a parent is but I want the conversation to be open and candid. I have been looking around the LGBT forums and will be posting topic specific discussions there too.

3. I'm not going to discuss gay dating or non dating here. If a single parents wants to date that is up to them. My Ex got engaged 17 months after the divorce and I heard directly what the kids felt about it. She broke it off (wise in my personal opinion)

---

What I have gotten so far is that private time with family time combined is best and most workable on the DCL. A resort vacation requires more together time which isn't a bad thing it just requires managing your expectations.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids?

I think I'm in a little bit of a different situation than you, but having some downtime on vacation is important to me so that I can be in a better frame of mind when I am with my DD. My DD is autistic and is not easy to parent. I have her almost 90% of the time. Vacationing with her can be exhausting. So having even just a couple hours to myself during the course of a trip can make a difference in my having the energy to be there for her the rest of the time. Plus, she loves the kids clubs at WDW and on DCL. She enjoys that time away from me as much as I enjoy time away from her. She wants to be in the clubs.

 

[JaxDad]

Thanks for understanding my questions. I hesitated to even ask, since I've seen topics spin out of control on these forums!

As I've thought about it and read the recent posts, I realize the need for me time is definitely something that varies individually and situationally. I have my children every other week for one week at a time. I get more than enough me time during the week they are away from me. And even when they are with me, I don't smother them at all, and they spend time at their friends' homes in the neighborhood (or they all come to my house)! This gives me even more me time. I get plenty! I am also older, and have had a lifetime of me time, probably more than I needed!

I know others here have their children for much longer periods, and it can be so tough! Our school just started, so I have been trying to get back in that groove. Also, many have infants or very young children or special needs children, which is even more demanding. I definitely get the need for me time! I was just curious about vacations, and I think I get it. We've generally taken shorter, somewhat structured vacations. The idea of me time was just not part of the planning, although they will often spend hours playing with kids they meet at hotel pools, while I sip a few cocktails. As the kids become teens, and I start looking at things like cruises or larger resorts, I know they will want to do the clubs and other activities, and I will need to think more of the me time and how to best enjoy it.

 

[luvmy2babies]

Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids? I am lucky to have my DS11 and DD8 50 percent of the time and still spend every minute I can with them, especially on vacations. (We just returned from a great time in Pigeon Forge, TN!) Maybe it's because I'm older (53) and generally don't care if I date or not? Again, just curious...

OP, I also wonder what you being gay has to do with this. We're you looking for more gay-specific recommendations? If you don't get them here, you can try the LGTB Forum. There is good information all across the DIS!

Yeah in my case, my children don't have another parent they spend time with at all. I'm raising them on my own and I'd rather take them on a trip where we could possibly have family time and time apart because I don't want to do two separate trips at all. Asking someone else to come along or combining a trip with other family hasn't worked out to this point; so I'm hoping to cruise with them in the near future with the hope that they like the kid's areas.

 

[Mindertaz]

JaxDad said: ↑
Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids?

I don't think it is a judgmental question. In my case, as with another poster above, my DS just wears me out. I have my kids 100% of the time and there is no other parent. At home though we have school, daycare and work, and those are my breaks. On vacation it is 24/7 togetherness and my DS is on the Autism Spectrum and parenting him outside of the confines of our normal schedule and in the most overstimulating place on earth is mentally and physically exhausting. He loves Disney and does fairly well there, but the vigilance required to make sure it stays that way is extensive. My DD generally not so much of an issue.
Having said that, I have yet to have any alone time on any of our Disney trips and that is ok. I love spending time with my kids and we are building a lot of awesome memories. But, what that means is that in the 4 years since I adopted them, the only "me" time I get, other than twice a year when I attend a social gathering, is my daily commute - which is not so relaxing , so some time to myself on a vacation sounds amazing. Please don't take that as complaining, I am not, just answering the question....We are doing the cruise in November and I am very excited about the possibilities (plus Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle are joining us, so I will get some alone time then).

 

[MsMamaBear]

I feel that! lol I want to explore the food and wine by myself too single mom too coming with my daughter and parents Nov.11-19

Hayyyyy! We're going to live it up! LOL!

 

[MsMamaBear]

Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids? I am lucky to have my DS11 and DD8 50 percent of the time and still spend every minute I can with them, especially on vacations. (We just returned from a great time in Pigeon Forge, TN!) Maybe it's because I'm older (53) and generally don't care if I date or not? Again, just curious...

OP, I also wonder what you being gay has to do with this. We're you looking for more gay-specific recommendations? If you don't get them here, you can try the LGTB Forum. There is good information all across the DIS!

I have my daughter 95% of the time. I do want some time to myself sometimes that isn't at home or locally with friends...although I do have a yearly ladies trip with my friends. This trip, I know my mom and daughter won't want to try the foods, so I'll probably head back after I take them back to the resort. There are some things my daughter doesn't like that I do.

 

[MouseLovingMom]

Single mom here but the struggle for me time is real. A cruise is an awesome suggestion. I had to drag my little man out or the club. I got so much me time that I got bored with it!

Yeah I don't need or want much! I will honestly have to force myself to have some. This last year I went to a wedding ALONE for the FIRST time is almost 6 years and I have been to a LOT of weddings and more always having my sidekick my DD with me. It was one of the first times since my daughter was born I was out of the house without her (to be exact I think it was like the 3rd or 4th unless you could grocery shopping alone from time to time). Which is fine I do NOT like to miss a beat with my pride and joy but 1st time WDW I will make myself have one evening or morning or sometime of ME time for at least 2-3 hours and I WILL enjoy it once I make myself do it.

 

[MouseLovingMom]

Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids? I am lucky to have my DS11 and DD8 50 percent of the time and still spend every minute I can with them, especially on vacations. (We just returned from a great time in Pigeon Forge, TN!) Maybe it's because I'm older (53) and generally don't care if I date or not? Again, just curious...

OP, I also wonder what you being gay has to do with this. We're you looking for more gay-specific recommendations? If you don't get them here, you can try the LGTB Forum. There is good information all across the DIS!

We are just in different shoes sir. You have your kids 50 percent of the time and do not care if you meet ppl/date or not. I am 28 and would love to date someday again meet my "prince charming", get married, go on a honeymoon at WDW of course, and live happily ever after.. and have another baby or two! I am a single mom of an amazing little girl I am blessed to have her 100% of the time and have since she was born. Her biological father is not in the picture what so ever so I have her 365 days a year 24/7. I also have chosen to home school these early years and I am blessed to have a successful business doing custom sewing and embroidery from home so when I say 24/7 it is literally that. She is my life and I feel so blessed! I do however want 2-3 hours or so of alone time on the 1st real vacation I have been on in years. If I was in your shoes I would NOT want a SINGLE second of me time because I would feel like I already had WAY to much me time. Me time would be making me sick because that would drive me crazy to have that much. I do not have me time though unless you count grocery shopping once or twice a month alone. lol Just different shoes. Enjoy EVERY second with those "babies" you are right they grow up WAY WAY WAY to fast.

 

[MouseLovingMom]

JaxDad said: ↑
Okay, I'm honestly not being judgmental but genuinely curious, do you all really need me time when vacationing with your kids?

I don't think it is a judgmental question. In my case, as with another poster above, my DS just wears me out. I have my kids 100% of the time and there is no other parent. At home though we have school, daycare and work, and those are my breaks. On vacation it is 24/7 togetherness and my DS is on the Autism Spectrum and parenting him outside of the confines of our normal schedule and in the most overstimulating place on earth is mentally and physically exhausting. He loves Disney and does fairly well there, but the vigilance required to make sure it stays that way is extensive. My DD generally not so much of an issue.
Having said that, I have yet to have any alone time on any of our Disney trips and that is ok. I love spending time with my kids and we are building a lot of awesome memories. But, what that means is that in the 4 years since I adopted them, the only "me" time I get, other than twice a year when I attend a social gathering, is my daily commute - which is not so relaxing , so some time to myself on a vacation sounds amazing. Please don't take that as complaining, I am not, just answering the question....We are doing the cruise in November and I am very excited about the possibilities (plus Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle are joining us, so I will get some alone time then).

I hope you enjoy EVERY second!

 

[MouseLovingMom]

Yeah in my case, my children don't have another parent they spend time with at all. I'm raising them on my own and I'd rather take them on a trip where we could possibly have family time and time apart because I don't want to do two separate trips at all. Asking someone else to come along or combining a trip with other family hasn't worked out to this point; so I'm hoping to cruise with them in the near future with the hope that they like the kid's areas.

I bet they will LOVE it so you can have plenty of yall time and YOU time. I have not heard anyone say their kids didn't love them. Have fun!!!