Fiancé doesn't want me to apply?

[TinkerRena]

Hey all so I'm 24 years old and entering my last two semesters at school. I want to apply to DCP for Fall 2017, however I recently got engaged and moved in with my fiancé. I have two problems: one is that our lease will expire in October and if we do not renew our lease he'll be stuck having to move all our stuff to a new place without me there. My second problem is that I know he doesn't want me to apply/go because he'll be lonely. I also have a feeling his family will disapprove of me leaving him alone for 6months. Doing the DCP and working for Disney is the last thing on my bucket list for my 20's/before marriage and kids. It's so important to me. What should I do? Am I selfish to want to go?

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Honestly the DIS is not where you should be turning for answers on something so important.
Talk to your family and friends and of course your significant other.
In my opinion if it is that important to you then he should support you.
Too bad so sad if he's "lonely". It's not forever.
He's a big boy he can figure out how to move the belongings without you. It's likely you guys would ask friends/family to help anyways.
Don't even think about how his family will react. It's your life.

 

[summermom2]

Go do it if you want. You will regret letting someone tell you what to do. Too bad if he is lonely.

 

[wilkeliza]

Welcome to the Dis!

If it is that important to you then apply. Applying doesn't hurt anyone and isn't a contractual obligation to actually go.

It is 6 months. If you say no to what you are calling a bucket list item over him think about what else you might give up. You say you are just finishing school, how would he feel if you career took you somewhere else? I know the DCP is probably just for fun but many relationships have been successful and survived distance. It won't be easy all the time but it will hopefully make you both stronger as individuals which should in teen make you stronger as a couple especially if you've been dating for awhile.

Of course the decision will need to be what you feel is best for you and if you think you'll regret not applying because you think he'll be lonely or his family with disapprove.

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd is currently at WDW, started on Sept 5 and isn't coming home!!! She finished college in May and DCP is the one thing she has wanted to do since she was 12. She has been in a relationship for 4 yrs now. There is no way anyone was telling her she couldn't do this. Here are my thoughts..
1. You don't have to go for six months....dd started in Sept and her program ends on Jan 5..that's four months. Her boyfriend has been sitting at home, I'm sure, missing her. He traveled down to be with her for 10 days in November.
2. Renew the lease. Is it someplace you just can't continue living? If that's not the case, then stay put.
3. This is your dream. If you don't try for it, you'll regret it the rest of your life. That will impact every negative thing that happens in your life. You'll end up throwing it into arguments with your husband years down the road. Don't start married life with regrets.

You need to do what's best for yourself. If your relationship is a good one, yes, you will be missed, but your fiance will be happy that you are living your dream.

 

[TinkerRena]

My dd is currently at WDW, started on Sept 5 and isn't coming home!!! She finished college in May and DCP is the one thing she has wanted to do since she was 12. She has been in a relationship for 4 yrs now. There is no way anyone was telling her she couldn't do this. Here are my thoughts..
1. You don't have to go for six months....dd started in Sept and her program ends on Jan 5..that's four months. Her boyfriend has been sitting at home, I'm sure, missing her. He traveled down to be with her for 10 days in November.
2. Renew the lease. Is it someplace you just can't continue living? If that's not the case, then stay put.
3. This is your dream. If you don't try for it, you'll regret it the rest of your life. That will impact every negative thing that happens in your life. You'll end up throwing it into arguments with your husband years down the road. Don't start married life with regrets.

You need to do what's best for yourself. If your relationship is a good one, yes, you will be missed, but your fiance will be happy that you are living your dream.

Thank you so much! I started preparing for the application today. As far as the apartment thing goes we'll probably end up renewing since we're not ready for a house and it's the cheapest apartment for us. I'll apply for the program and see what happens. Thanks everyone!

 

[Sargeant Tibbs]

I cant say I've ever looked at the college board until now, but your thread caught my eye. I'm glad you've decided to apply. This is your dream, and if you stayed just because he would be lonely, there's every chance you will come to resent him for it in the future. It's only 6 months. My husband had to leave me home alone about that long before we were married. The time apart was good. It proved to us the strength of our relationship. I don't know you or your guy, but if I had to guess, there's a little more behind him not wanting you to leave than just being lonely. Perhaps he's nervous you'll find someone else?

And a final word on in-laws: Love them, respect them, but don't allow them to dictate the terms of your relationship. That's between you and your fiance.

 

[goofy4tink]

Thank you so much! I started preparing for the application today. As far as the apartment thing goes we'll probably end up renewing since we're not ready for a house and it's the cheapest apartment for us. I'll apply for the program and see what happens. Thanks everyone!

Best of luck to you! It was a nerve wracking process for my dd, but she is so happy to be living her dream!
I hope it all works out for you.

 

[HopperFan]

Glad you are applying!!! It was on DD Bucket/Life list. Graduated college with plan to do DCP, maybe PI and stay forever. She had been planning it for 4 years. It didn't take long for her to decide it wasn't a life plan, applied to Grad school and got an extension so she could do for the year before moving on. It was one of the best experiences of her life and zero regrets!!!

If this is your bucket list, he knew it was important to you and should 100% support you, especially if it's only 4 mos. AND he can visit and with text message, email, face time, skype .......... it will go by so fast.

 

[allthenamesaretaken]

Definitely! Glad you applied!
My friends and I live by "you'll end up resenting him if you let go of your dreams for him".

 

[Dinohood]

go he should support you that is like saying if you were in the army and gone for a year it is only 6 months or less and besides with all the tec we have of e-mail and name anything else you can do on a smart phone/computer it will go by fast and you have a story for your kids.

 

[Taylor Hart]

So glad you're applying!! I did the program spring of 2015, and at the time, I had been with my boyfriend 5 years. It definitely tested our relationship, but you'll be so glad you did it! We are now married, so you can make it through. It will be hard, but it will be worth it.

 

[prprincess]

If it's your dream, do it. I think that you'll regret it if you don't. And he'll survive...my cousin is almost done a 6 month contract singing on a Norweigan Cruiseline ship and her boyfriend's has been waiting it out because he knows it's her dream. And like a previous poster said, technology helps, as does holidays and long weekends. Time flies, too!!

 

[TwoMisfits]

Hey all so I'm 24 years old and entering my last two semesters at school. I want to apply to DCP for Fall 2017, however I recently got engaged and moved in with my fiancé. I have two problems: one is that our lease will expire in October and if we do not renew our lease he'll be stuck having to move all our stuff to a new place without me there. My second problem is that I know he doesn't want me to apply/go because he'll be lonely. I also have a feeling his family will disapprove of me leaving him alone for 6months. Doing the DCP and working for Disney is the last thing on my bucket list for my 20's/before marriage and kids. It's so important to me. What should I do? Am I selfish to want to go?

I guess I'm not gonna take the "hurray, do it and screw his opinion" route, b/c isn't that why you got engaged? B/c you are intending to start planning a life together? Big life decisions should now start being a 2 person process if you do intend to go through with the actual marriage. If you moved in with your fiance and are on the apartment lease, you being away will also have a legal effect for you and probably a financial impact for both of you (if you are contributing to the payment of the lease). Can you both afford to pay the current lease and pay for the living arrangements for you in the college program? Will he be safeguarding all of your "ours" stuff in the apartment?

I think a better sit down discussion about real ramifications of the whole decision should be the 1st place to start. If you can't come to a general agreement without hard feelings on a relatively small issue (b/c working for DCP isn't like losing a job or getting in huge debt), what is that gonna lead to for future issues?

 

[perditax]

A larger issue is that you have to deal with his family's disapproval of your plans and dreams. If they do it now, they'll be doing it forever.

I understand you're engaged but no one should think it's your job to put your goals aside to stop him from being lonely a few months. You're young, now's the time. It'll be gone before you know it.

 

[tcufrog]

I've been married for 15 years and with my dh for 20 years. I believe there are two separate issues at play.

1. finances. Be realistic and run the numbers. Can y'all afford for you to be away for that long? If y'all can't afford it without major life altering repercussions then it would be irresponsible for you to go. Part of being an adult is realizing that it's not always possible to follow every dream and that's okay.

2. your fiance missing you. If he truly believes in "death do us part" then the time you're talking about is just a blip in the lifetime y'all have together. He needs to grow up, put on his big boy pants and support you assuming that #1 isn't really a problem. His family needs to join the 21st century and realize that sometimes men should sometimes sacrifice to support their partners' careers. I'm sure they would tell you keep the home fires burning if he was sent away for a long period for work.