Bored teen on trip

[snwarf]

Amazingly enough, our 15 year old is trying to be joe cool about Disney World in October. He wants to go to Universal but basically scowls at Disney. I, on the other hand, LOVE Disney & could care less about Universal.

We are going to Universal for 2 days, Sea World 1 day, and 5 days at Disney. We will be staying at the YC concierge the entire trip.

HOW do I make him catch the magic of Disney? We went last year and I could have strangled him several times because he was determined to have a bad time. The odd thing is that he is a great kid normally and gives us no problems.

I suppose he feels that Disney is "beneath" him since he is at that awkward stage. I just would love any suggestions on how to make him love it and appreciate it like everyone else. We are unable to bring anyone his age with us for him to explore with because of the time of year. I don't think he is just trying to be difficult because he knows I love Disney. He isn't that type of kid.

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

[HokieDad]

It is beneath him. Splash Mountain and Space Mountain are about it. Let him go to MGM and the water parks.

Face it. Being 15 and hanging with the 'rents just isn't cool for boys.

 

[ZPT1022]

I don't know what to say to you snwarf. I always wanted to go to WDW, but maybe it is different for girls? Would you consider letting him stay at the resort for a few hours and swim and use the arcade while you guys do something he definitely doesn't want to see? Maybe that would be a good compromise, and he just might be surprised to see plenty of other teens hanging around having a great time! Good luck!


Becky

 

[dg39]

Teens....Having experience raising them, I suggest that you leave him alone. Give him the choice to either come with you to the parks or wherever you want to go & leave it up to him. When a teen makes up his/her mind on being miserable, theres nothing you can do to change his/her mind. Mine is 18 now & for the last few years she decided to be miserable for our yearly trip to DW. I gave her the choice of either having her own fun or coming with us to the parks/pool/shopping/touring. If she didn't come along we went anyway & left her at the resort. Sometimes we found her near the pool, lounging & other times she was in the room. But I left it up to her & went along my merry way. Towards the end of the trip, she "decided" on her own to join us & even though she wouldn't admit it, I could tell she had a good time. THis upcoming trip in july, she decided she didn't want to come along so being she's 18, she's staying home & we're going w/o her. I do feel guilty leaving her, but, this is her choice. I also heard that by the time teens reach the age of 25 they become human and are nice. I'll let you know in 7 long years. Good luck. AND, don't forget there teens & from what I hear this is how there supposed to act, WHo knows.......Good luck to all of us raising them.....

 

[MELSMICE]

I agree with letting him have a little time to himself if he wants. If he is more interested in US/IOA then make a big deal out of that for him. When you get to WDW tell him what your plans are. If you are comfortable leaving him at the resort then let him stay there if he chooses. Or how about letting him go off alone in one of the parks. It may be a good idea to have a few cell phones with you this trip (maybe a friends & family plan or something) so you can keep in constant contact.

He may "lighten up" if he feels he has a little freedom & a little responsibility.

I don't have this problem yet. My 3 DD's are almost 14 & almost 11 yr. old twins & they all love Disney. Sometimes my oldest doesn't want to "hang" at the pool with us so I will let her go back to the room & veg out. He may just need to know that if he wants he will be able to do his own thing within reason.

 

[peewakio]

Theres nothing worse than saving all that money and getting worked up for the holiday of a lifetime only for your own kids to throw a spanner in the works. This happenned on our last trip to Orlando with my then 13 year old son. On reflection I now consider that it was mostly my fault for not understanding that a teenager has different needs and emotions not to mention that their hormones are raging at that time. So this October I have decided to make a concerted effort to understand what he wants to do ie taking him to a basketball game or a rock concert at Hard Rock Live, anything to make him feel that he is also on a holiday of a lifetime. All in all I think it's just a case of us ALL being a bit more understanding towards each other.

 

[crisi]

If he's a responsible kid and you are comfortable, I agree with letting him do his own thing. Let him sleep in (Teens don't do well in the morning) and meet up with you later in the day. Let him enjoy DisneyQuest, MGM and the waterparks. Let him sit in the room with a portable DVD player and a stack of movies (or, if you are lucky enough that he reads, a stack of books).

Give him a couple of family activities you all want to do together, but let him make some choices - Dinner? Where?

He may decide that riding Small World is hokey, but as fun as sitting in the room. He may not, but you can't MAKE him enjoy it, and trying to will just make everyone more miserable.

(Or you could give him a camera and tell him to take pictures of all the cute girls he sees, that might keep a 15 year old boy engaged).

 

[mat2672]

I think its pretty simple. He doesnt feel the "magic" that people like you or I feel about disney. How many teenagers would? I dont think its so strange at all. I would say that most of the people that love just being anywhere in Disneyworld are either very young children who still just want to be with their parents and still love the innocence of it all and older adults who have grown up and been thru the drawbacks of adult life such as work, responsibility, seeing unhappy world issues, and now they enjoy the peace and innocence of disney. How many teenagers care about any of that stuff. Just let him do his thing. If you force dumbo and peter pan on him, its only going to ruin your vacation. If your son ever starts to like disney again, it will likely be after he grows older and sees a different side of everything and maybe he will appreciate what disney has to offer. But, as a guy myself who is a disney freak now because I have a 5 year old daughter and loves to escape to the "magic", theres no way I would have liked being in the magic kingdom when I was a teenager. My only thoughts were girls, fun, girls, hanging out with friends, and more girls. I wish more parents would find something else to do with their unhappy teenage kids when at disney if at all possible. Im sure we've all experienced the teens who obviously dont want to be there who feel they have to prove how cool they are, so they sit thru the ride or presentation and mock ever word or do whatever just to show their dislike. Its no fun for everyone else. Just my opinion

 

[Jordan's MOM]

Is there any way you could allow him to take a freind? What is NOT cool with mom and day might be a lot of fun if the two boys could do the parks together. You would need to decide how much freedom, but touring in the same park and swimming at the resort pool alone should be just fine. Some other cool things might be DQ, water parks, renting water boats. Our DS 11 is still happy to do WDW with mom and dad but I can see that in a few years we will face this problem too. We have already planned to alow him to bring a freind at this point.



Jordan's mom

 

[Trinity721]

That is tough... The last time I went with my family in 99, it was my parents, me at 19, brother at 15, brother at 10 and two cousins 9 and 10. Of course DB and I didn't want to be around the little kids so my parents let us go off on our own. We always made a meeting time and place and we did some things all together. I guess it's different b/c I had my brother but I had a great time. Plus I really don't mind being with the parents there, but just the little kids were too much for me sometimes.

I think if I were you, I would sit him down and just ask him what his issues are, that you are willing to be understanding. Even to compromise. If 2 days is not enough for him in Universal then maybe offer him more days there without you guys if you are comfortable with that. Also encourage him perhaps to check out these boards, the teens board especially. Maybe he'll find that Disney is a fun place after all I understand you can't find any of his friends, but maybe if he has a close cousin you can ask to join you that would help a lot. Of course, if he does go off on his own make sure you have a way to communicate... cel phones are a great idea, a family plan is good. Sprint has good free mobile-to-mobile plans. Just ask him what would be something that would make this trip fun for him. I think sometimes if you just sit down and make the effort to ask him what he wants, he might even be surprised to see that hey, this trip isn't just for mom and dad. It's for me too! And remind him, hello!there are lots of cute girls at Disney this time of year

 

[pat fan]

I feel your pain.

My DH surprised our kids with a trip due to FTP and our 14 yr.old DS was less than thrilled.DH was not impressed with DS's reaction,but after talking about it,it seems he was concerned that we wouldn't go again and he wants to go when he's a senior.

Tha is his story.I think the real thing is that he is getting to that age where Disney isn't so special.His DB on the other hand(who's 11)is VERY excited about this trip.I figure this will be the last "family" trip,and after this it will be just me & DH.POFQ here we come on our 25 anniversary!!!

 

[Disney Dude]

We are in the same boat! We are doing our yearly trip, Universal 2 days, Seaworld 1 day, and Disney 6 days.
My 15 year old says he is sick of Disney and doesn't want to be there. He is fine with Universal and Seaworld, so those are his days. He is an only child, so I don't like the idea of him wandering around on his own, so after much thought we are bringing along his best friend. He is happier now that he has someone to hang with, and I won't mind them being on their own for awhile when we're in the parks.
I just couldn't deal with a grumpy miserable teen again!

 

[Praise2Him]

We're also in (sort of) the same boat. We've had AP's the past 2 years and made 4-5 trips each year. Me, DH & DD12 still love it, but DS17 & DS14 are tired of it and complain every time we go. So far we've solved the problem like most of the other posters, by letting them go on their own and not forcing them to do things they don't like (most of the time.) We have PAP's and they love DisneyQuest, so they spend a lot of time there. We also bought AP's to Universal this year and they like that better than Disney. Actually we haven't been since Christmas, so they're actually looking forward to this trip somewhat, especially since we're camping, and we plan on being more relaxed this trip. I think you said it all when you said that this is an awkward stage! I guess we'll just have to wait until they outgrow it. (We keep telling them that when they get married and have kids they'll be begging us to take them and the grandkids, but we're only taking the grandkids - LOL!)

 

[snwarf]

WOW!
Thanks for all the great replies! Just for the record, I didn't mean to imply that we force Magic Kingdom on him when we go. I know that is beneath him for the most part. However, as was suggested before by a previous poster, he LOVES Splash Mtn. & Space Mtn.

I would be okay with him going on his own, but he is kindof shy and wouldn't be the kind to do that. (Me at his age: my parents wouldn't have seen me the entire time!) He would do the pool or arcade by himself & since we are staying at the Yacht Club, I'm sure that will be a lifesaver. Don't get me wrong- I want to spend time with him, but I also want him to be a teenager too.

As for someone going with: our only option (as it will be school time) is his homeschooled cousin which quite frankly, I'd rather leave at home!


I am glad to know that other parents experience this same thing. I know that he willl look back one day and appreciate the things he has been able to do. Unfortunately, we take him to Vegas with us and now I think he'd rather be there......WHAT HAVE I DONE!
Thanks again, Natalie

 

[tazz]

We are also staying at the Yacht Club in October. Fortunately, our daughters who will be 14 & 15 have each other (for good and bad) but we will not make them do everything with me, dh & 4 yr old ds. They will get time at the parks, pool, and disneyquest by themselves if they want, but I don't expect it will be too much by themselves, but maybe when we take ds to magic kingdom. They are both excited to get autograph books, squished pennies, and can't wait to have breakfast in the Castle. Maybe it's because it's only their 2nd trip to DW and girls aren't as afraid of being too cool for disney. Maybe once you get there you ds will change his mind and realize he is still and kid and will want to spend more time with you.

 

[dg39]

I heard that teenagers aren't humans til the age of 25. I have to agree. I have twin girls age 18, so I'll let those of you who have a longer waiting period then me know when that magical time comes.

 

[antmaril]

We have a somewhat similar situation. Our DS is 16. We are leaving next week for four days at Disney (BWI) and three days at Portofino Bay at Universal. Have done both before. (Disney many times and Universal twice before). He is an only child and we don't really have anyone we can bring with us for him. He seems happy to be going. When I suggested that I'm not going to ride "It's A Small World" if there is a long line, he made a sad face. (We ALWAYS ride It's a Small World) LOL.

However, it could all change once we get there. The "This is boring", or "What are we doing next", or "I'd rather be home", etc. He's a teenager and he's unpredictable. One minute he's a happy boy and the next minute, he's scowling and complaining.

I'm just going to play it by ear and if he's nasty, he can stay at the resort while his dad and I have some fun.

Wish me luck!!

 

[grinningghost]

I love this thread. For our August trip, we are taking along DD14's friend, who is also 14. They are really looking forward to going to WDW together, and I'm sure it's because they've been given the go-ahead to explore the World on their own. I know if I had mandated that they stick with DH and me, they probably wouldn't be too thrilled. We have told them that they will spend SOME time with us - mainly for sit-down meals and maybe a Splash Down photo, and they were cool with that.

But I would be kidding myself if I didn't say they won't be hunting down cute boys. If you're going the last week of August, and you have attractive teenage sons, beware!

 

[snwarf]

Maybe I could rent a friend for him...
That would be a great idea for a new business

"Is your teenager bored and need a friend? Are they tired of you getting seasick on iasw? Do they ignore you when you jump up and down at the sight of Mickey? Do they feign illness everytime a parade is about to start? Do they BUG YOU TO DEATH to go anywhere other than where you are right this minute, despite the fact that you were just where they now want to go, but they hated it then!!!????......RENT A FRIEND FOR YOUR KID AND PARTY ON WITHOUT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!"

i would pay good money, especially since you wouldn't have to also pay for their hotel stay, tickets, souvenirs.....hmmmm...

 

[grinningghost]

I think you're on to something with that "Rent a Friend" thing.

On those teen hormonal days, maybe I could rent a friend and rent my DD to someone else.