Anxiety disorder in a child - Help/Advice?

[beattyfamily]

Hi! I wasn't sure which board to post this on, Disabilities, Families, or even Comminity Boards, but I thought I'd try this board.

My 7 year old DD (younger DD, in 1st grade) has had many health issues in her young life. Gagging on certain food textures, born with one kidney, reflux (urinary), reflux surgery, got E-Coli at age 2, speech delay and sensory issues etc....

She, thankfully, with speech therapy and a great pre-school, has outgrown most of her delays and sensory issues.

Now, the last thing that is currently affecting her ability to function in school is anxiety. The teacher brought it to my attention in her parent-teacher conference this year and the school counselor called me yesterday to tell me its gotten worse, not better (she was able to witness an example first-hand yesterday) and that maybe she should see her PCP and seek counseling. She can't diagnose her but thinks it might be an anxiety disorder. We do know that she has problems with decisions/choices but we didn't realize the magnitude of it.

My DD has a hard time with decisions/choices and gets overwhelmed sometimes by them. It can make her cry and shut down completely. Once this happens there is no consoling her and it can take a long time to get her out of it. We have been dealing with it at home but didn't realize how much it was affecting her in school.

I feel horrible. I want to do what's best for her and not have this affect her in school. I called to tell my DH and his reaction was that this is just how she is and that she'll grow out of it and that their making a big deal about it and there is absolutely NO way he wants her on any kind of medication for it.

I just called our PCP today and made an appointment for next week. I guess I just wanted to vent a little and see if anyone else has someone in their family like this? Is there hope that relaxation techniques will help? Could she eventually learn to cope and/or maybe grow out of this?

Thanks for any help/input.

 

[hollyb]

Hi there is hope. Don't take no for an answer if you feel like something isnt right keep looking until your happy.

Yes that is how God made her, that dosent mean that it is whats best for her. For years we took DS to every dr. we could find and no one could help him, seven years after we started our search he was diagnosed with Autism. It was a huge blow and shock to us. But with support and love we are living a great life with him. Between his school, drs. and friends,life is chugging along, just never give up.

Remember that no will fight for your DD like you. Love her for who she is, but be open minded to what she may have. We fought for years not to meidicate him, but then a teacher said, "imagine what he could do with a little extra help". That really hit home with us. We of course want the best for our kids. It did not happen over night, trust me we have been through the ringer and back many times.

Good luck you can do this. If its get overwhelming stop take a breather,enjoy your DD and cherish every little thing with her.

Best of luck
hollyb

 

[shelly3girls]

I do not have much advice except to seek out someone who specializes in this type of problem. My niece suffers from a similar issue and with the proper treatment is a completely different kid. Finding the right doctor was the key. It is amazing to see the turnaround in her in school and socially.

 

[laughinplace199]

You might try the book Helping Your Anxious Child. It helped us help DD through some issues when she was in kindergarten. I do think, for my DD anyway, that she became much less anxious as she got older and gained more confidence. She also goes to a small school, which I think is very helpful for her.

I hope that things improve for your DD and you!

 

[beattyfamily]

Thank you everyone. I feel better already just being able to vent a little.

In my research today I did come across the book, Helping Your Anxious Child. I think I will buy it.

I hope with the proper help and patience and age, she will grow out of this or at the very least learn to cope with it.

Thanks again.

 

[Keara'sMom]

You are definitely not alone. As a school psychologist, I've worked with many kids, some of whom were very anxious. Reassure your dh that your dd does not have to be on meds, as play therapy/cognitive behavior therapy can work wonders with young kids. I'd work closely with your dr. and explore the counseling resources for kids in your community to find folks who specialize in working with young ones (particularly those with anxiety problems).

All the best to you!

 

[sharoncity]

I am having anxiety issues with my DS who is 9 yrs old. I have sought counseling and they believe at this point he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He witnessed my Husband fall off of our roof and severely break both of his legs 1 1/2 yrs ago. They think he had some sort of a trigger that reminded him of the incident. Anyhow, there is this type of therapy for PTS Disorder called EMDR. It looks very promising. We haven't started yet, but hope to soon.

Good Luck to you and yours!

 

[Ariel8676]

My 4 yo was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. We are hoping that this is something that she will eventually grow out of, or learn to deal with it and control her emotions. The therepist that she has seen a few times doesn't even want to talk about meds right now. She was put in an integrated pre-K class and her teachers have delt with this type of disorder many times and are just wonderful.

My DD has a hard time with decisions/choices and gets overwhelmed sometimes by them. It can make her cry and shut down completely. Once this happens there is no consoling her and it can take a long time to get her out of it. We have been dealing with it at home but didn't realize how much it was affecting her in school.

This sounds SOO much like my daughter. When she gets really worked up i will take her and move her to another room and have her look me in the eyes and we breathe together..nice , easy, relaxing breaths. I will also take her and just hold her and tell her to relax and that i love her and we will help her figure out the best decision.
Sorry to ramble on and on, everything will be ok!!!

 

[beattyfamily]

Thanks so much everyone. It's feels good to hear that we're not alone in this and that there is hope.

I feel so bad for her. She's been through so much over the years. Just when we think its all behind us, something else happens/comes up.

Maybe all the health trama in her younger years have contributed to this problem.

 

[girlsx4]

I don't have much advice, but wanted to offer My 6 yr old DD also has urinary reflux and has anxiety issues. Hers were so bad she had almost stopped eating for a few weeks. I figured out what the root of the problem was and worked on it from there. Thankfully, she is doing much better now. Good luck in your decisions w/your DD!

 

[dougsmom98]

My oldest son has some major anxiety problems but they have been getting better since kindergarten. Some of the key things that have helped him get through the past few years have been teachers that understand and are willing to work with him through this. Each year, parents are asked to write up things about their child that may help them get placed with the right teacher in school. I am very up front about his anxiety. He needs a gentle teacher who still is able to be organized and have a set routine. If the routine is not going to be the same, they need to be willing to warm him so he can mentally prepare for the change. Although in some situations, teachers try to split up friends into different classrooms, the teachers have always recommended that my son be in a class with at least one friend he feels comfortable with to help him with the anxiety. The hardest part for me as a parent of a child with anxiety is the social barriers it has placed on him. At one point he was so anxious, he couldn't speak when spoken to. He has overcome this finally now that he is in second grade.
Good luck. I know how stressful this is.

 

[beattyfamily]

Thank you very much everyone for sharing your stories. It really does help.

It's so stressful. I wish I could take this from her and give it to myself. She's been through so much already.

We also get a form to fill out for placement in next year's class so that's a great way to explain her anxiety. Also her current teacher hopefully can help out in that regard.

Thanks again, everyone.

 

[TAEMom]

I just called our PCP today and made an appointment for next week. I guess I just wanted to vent a little and see if anyone else has someone in their family like this? Is there hope that relaxation techniques will help? Could she eventually learn to cope and/or maybe grow out of this?

Thanks for any help/input.

My DS 6 has anxiety issues. We began taking him to a therapist last year to work on them. He has gone to her every other week since then, and sometimes she just meets with me to talk about strategies, progress, etc. I can't tell you what a huge difference there is in him from a year ago. She has helped us to understand how it affects him at school and to understand that sometimes anxiety has other comorbid conditions, such as ADHD, or in my son's case, possibly OCD.

Yes, this is just "the way he is," but I think that helping him to find ways to cope with the anxiety at a young age is so important. Unfortunately, people that are anxious who haven't learned coping skills are sometimes also the people that learn to "self-medicate" with drugs or alcohol when they are older.

Beware though. There are bad therapists out there, and you really need to find someone that specializes in children. We started out with one that worked with children, "in addition to" his adult practice, but to be honest, he creeped me out, DS didn't like him, and I feel like we wasted 3mos. with him. Try to get a recommendation from someone, rather than just choosing from an insurance list.

 

[hollyb]

Yes, this is just "the way he is," but I think that helping him to find ways to cope with the anxiety at a young age is so important. Unfortunately, people that are anxious who haven't learned coping skills are sometimes also the people that learn to "self-medicate" with drugs or alcohol when they are older


I agree %100 if we catch it early enough they stand a much greater chance to succed as adults. Look at the drop out rate and teen girls having babies.

 

[ntink]

I found this thread very helpful. I have a 9yr old dd with epilepsy and during second grade I took her to a wonderful counselor (I believe she was a licensed social worker). This was a young woman who really helped my dd deal with anxiety issues regarding seizures. My only issue is that the therapist moved back to CA to be with her family and we are in PA.

My advice would definitely be to have your dd talk to someone. It helped my dd tremendously.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Hi! I wasn't sure which board to post this on, Disabilities, Families, or even Comminity Boards, but I thought I'd try this board.

My 7 year old DD (younger DD, in 1st grade) has had many health issues in her young life. Gagging on certain food textures, born with one kidney, reflux (urinary), reflux surgery, got E-Coli at age 2, speech delay and sensory issues etc....

She, thankfully, with speech therapy and a great pre-school, has outgrown most of her delays and sensory issues.

Now, the last thing that is currently affecting her ability to function in school is anxiety. The teacher brought it to my attention in her parent-teacher conference this year and the school counselor called me yesterday to tell me its gotten worse, not better (she was able to witness an example first-hand yesterday) and that maybe she should see her PCP and seek counseling. She can't diagnose her but thinks it might be an anxiety disorder. We do know that she has problems with decisions/choices but we didn't realize the magnitude of it.

My DD has a hard time with decisions/choices and gets overwhelmed sometimes by them. It can make her cry and shut down completely. Once this happens there is no consoling her and it can take a long time to get her out of it. We have been dealing with it at home but didn't realize how much it was affecting her in school.

I feel horrible. I want to do what's best for her and not have this affect her in school. I called to tell my DH and his reaction was that this is just how she is and that she'll grow out of it and that their making a big deal about it and there is absolutely NO way he wants her on any kind of medication for it.

I just called our PCP today and made an appointment for next week. I guess I just wanted to vent a little and see if anyone else has someone in their family like this? Is there hope that relaxation techniques will help? Could she eventually learn to cope and/or maybe grow out of this?

Thanks for any help/input.

Having been that child with very severe anxiety especialy in school I know first hand that you do not grow out of it, most of the time it becomes worse. In this day & age be a bit relieved that most teachers can recognize this, in my day they just believed I was an emotional child. It grew and grew to the point that I was almost paralyzed (believe it or not wouldn't go to WDW because my anxiety was so high). I did have to have intense therapy and medication.....When we finally got to the bottom of my anxiety it was rooted in loosing my Dad, both my grandparents that I lived with and a very medically ill childhood.
One of my nieces also has this disorder and had to be put on medication.....she is 100% better and is actually on a t.v. show and getting A's!!!
My heart breaks for you and your daughter and please feel free to PM me if you would like any specific information. God Bless