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Old 03-27-2013, 01:12 PM   #16
Jennabeth
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We redshirted our youngest DD and tell everyone we would do it again. She is a mid-Oct birthday, so she would have been 4 when she started school since MI had a 12/1 cutoff (which is changing and will be 9/1 in a few years, and since public schools start after Labor Day all Kindergarteners will start when they are 5). We were very lucky that our school offered a class called Young 5s for "Ber" babies (those born in Sept, Oct, Nov). That class was pretty much exactly like Kindergarten was for me. They learned letters and numbers and sight words and had a bit more play time than the traditional kindergarten classroom. It was perfect for her!

Others have said that parents redshirt so their kids would be better in sports. That was something we never considered, in fact, my DD plays club soccer and they go by birthdate (not grade) when forming teams. So, even if she started school earlier, she would still be on the same team since they have an 8/1 cutoff (we even had to provide her birth certificate). Some say we redshirt because we want our kids to be the smartest in the class. Meh, I really don't care about that, I just wanted her to enjoy school (which she does) and do her best. We redshirted because when we put her in pre-school we saw a huge change in her personality and knew she was not socially ready for kindergarten (my usually loud bossy girl clammed right up and started picking at her fingernails while staring at the ground). My heart knew she wasn't ready for school, but my brain wanted her to be because I was getting sick of paying daycare. It was one of the toughest decisions we had to make at the time and one we thought long and hard about it.

You know your child best, choose what you think is right. Each child is different and there is no answer that fits every child. Some of my dd's best friends are almost a year younger than her. Those kids are doing well in school and I don't question their parents' decision, just as they don't question my decision to redshirt my dd.

This is not a new thing, I have an early Sept. birthday and was redshirted too, many, many years ago (sigh). Good luck, this is just the beginning of the decisions that we parents lose sleep over.
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:19 PM   #17
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None of my children make the cutoff date which is 8/1 in my area. We have 11/1, 2/22 and 8/7 birthdays. I think it really is dependent on where you live as to the cutoff dates and I guess if I told someone my 8 year old was in second grade they may consider it redshirting if their school had a different cutoff date. I feel my schools set the date and I am fine with it. Sports in our area also require birth certificates for team placement so holding back a student wouldn't give them a sports advantage.

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Old 03-27-2013, 01:48 PM   #18
Dancemomof3
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Where we live the cut off is 12/1. My two youngest have birthdays on 11/9 and 10/20. Our school has a class called Transitional Kindergarten (T-K). He was so behind most of his classmates, academically and socially that we decided that is where he needed to be. It was a much smaller class size so there was more one on one with the teacher. They learn the Kindergarten curriculum so they can be moved up to first if you and the school decide it's for the best or they can go to K again . Most people have them do K again.

My daughter is less than a year younger than him and was bordering on needing to do it also but as the teacher is a man for that class and she does not respond well to men we decided to send her to K with a woman that she has known for years. She is a very shy child and at her conference every year I get a lot of hemming and hawing that she may need to be held back because they don't know what she knows because so much of the testing is verbal so she won't answer or they can't hear her answer.

They are both in second grade now and here at the end of the school year they are bringing home pretty much the same grades. Hers are a bit better in math and his in reading. He taught himself to read at 3 so early reading means nothing at all. All of this to say, I am all for holding back or "redshirting" if they need it. If our school had not had the T-K program my husband and I had discussed pulling my son out and homeschooling him for a couple of years because he was nowhere near ready for a tradional Kindergarten classroom setting. With our daughter, since she was borderline, we did a lot of work at home over the summer to catch her up.
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:13 PM   #19
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Redshirting for sports in private school is common here as teams are grade level based in the CYO league. I think it is fine when a child is close to the cutoff and there is some question about wether they are ready, but there are several kids in DD's 3rd grade class who turned 10 before Christmas. That, IMO, is excessive and unecessary unless there is some sort of cognative delay that warrants it. They are of course the star soccer, baseball, basketball, and football players on the 3rd grade team for the most part. They are bigger, taller, and stronger than everyone else and it shows. Many are also behavior problems becuase they are bored, go figure!
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:18 PM   #20
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Quote:
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Redshirting for sports in private school is common here as teams are grade level based in the CYO league. I think it is fine when a child is close to the cutoff and there is some question about wether they are ready, but there are several kids in DD's 3rd grade class who turned 10 before Christmas. That, IMO, is excessive and unecessary unless there is some sort of cognative delay that warrants it. They are of course the star soccer, baseball, basketball, and football players on the 3rd grade team for the most part. They are bigger, taller, and stronger than everyone else and it shows. Many are also behavior problems becuase they are bored, go figure!
Wow, that is crazy. My "redshirted" dd turned 10 while in 4th grade. There is one boy who will turn 11 this spring, but he does have a delay.
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:58 PM   #21
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As a way of narrowing the age range of Kindergarten students, Nebraska has set new regulations about entering school.

Students attending kindergarten in the fall must be five years old by July 31. Parents may opt to hold their child out of kindergarten for an additional year. However, Nebraska state law mandates that a child, who will be age six on or before Dec. 31, must start school in the fall (prior to turning 6 years old).
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:57 PM   #22
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My oldest son is a late July baby. I started him in school when he was 5. He really struggled up until end of 3rd grade. I had considered keeping him back in kindergarten, but opted not to (the school did not recommend it). I struggled w/that decision every year, however now I'm glad I didn't. We did not have a good teacher for kindergarten and I think that started his downward spiral. We were lucky to have some really good teachers after that. He has received reading intervention since kindergarten. He is currently in 4th grade and doing wonderful. He no longer receives modified work and no longer has an ilp. He does still continue to go to the reading specialist, but that is b/c I want him to go. He technically does not qualify for services anymore, but both the reading specialist and I believe he still needs the services to help w/his confidence level and to keep his reading on grade level. Yes, 3rd grade is harder and a huge transition year for kids, but something just clicked last year. He will always struggle w/school. It will not come easy for him. When I look back, I'm still not convinced that I should waited for him to start school. With boys, a lot of it seems to be a maturity thing. My youngest son is a November baby, so he had to wait to start (9/1 is our cut off). He does fine w/school, but that's not to say we haven't had our issues w/him too. You know your child best and what their needs are. Just don't let people tell you otherwise. If your plan is to homeschool, then it doesn't really matter since you can decide where you need to focus the extra help to. We are lucky to live in a great school system. I know others are not that lucky.
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:08 AM   #23
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Quote:
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Wow, that is crazy. My "redshirted" dd turned 10 while in 4th grade. There is one boy who will turn 11 this spring, but he does have a delay.
I have an October baby who misses our 9/1 cutoff. She turned 9 just after the year started, and a month later the first of the group of boys held back turned 10!
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:48 AM   #24
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My older son is a July baby. He was also in the special ed program from before preschool even. He had to start K on time. It is true that if your child is in special ed, they cannot repeat pre-k for another year, and they must go on to K. This is due to federal funding issues. Pre-K is funded for Special Education through the Federal Government and allows for 2 years of funding per pupil. Beyond that, the funding comes from another source, once they enter Kindergarten. So, it is quite common that special ed kids enter K before they are "ready".

My son is in 3rd grade now. He is struggling with reading as well. He is reading at a mid 2nd grade level, when tested. However, his issue is comprehension and fluency in fiction. He was reading on his own at 3 years old, but he cannot process fiction based stories at all. He can read the words, but he can't answer very simple questions about the stories. However, he can read a book about electricity and circuitry and have no problems understanding that.

He also struggles with independent work and organization. He has ADHD and Autism which is the basis for most of his issues. He is extremely socially immature, and barely talks to anyone at all. He is happy, though, so we don't stress too much about this. He doesn't seem the least bit interested in having social relationships. And, that too, is fine with us.

Of course, if he was only in 2nd grade, he would "appear" to be fine, and right on grade level. However, it would be just an appearance, as he has obvious issues and struggles. Holding him back would not have made much of a difference at all.

The way we see it, grades at this point in time do NOT matter at all. Heck, I don't even remember what kinds of grades I got in elementary school and it really doesn't matter at all until High School, and even then, really only the last two years of HS matter when it comes to higher education. So, for now, we are not even looking at grades as much as making sure he is making FORWARD progress every year. That is, who cares if he is behind in reading, as long as he is making progress. He will never be a reader, like I was. When I was his age, I had read hundreds of chapter books. I read everything I could get my hands on, and then some. But, I certainly wasn't doing advanced math and engineering machines out of Legos at 8.

I think too many parents today focus on making sure their kids are excelling at everything, and they focus too much on their child's weaknesses. It should be the other way around. Focus on their strengths, and use those strengths to solve the problems that come from the areas of weakness.

In our case, we use books about subjects our son is passionate about to work on his reading comprehension. Who cares if he never gets "into" fiction? It's much more valuable for him to be able to understand nonfiction books and reading anyway, isn't it? He only really needs to read fiction through school, and then once he's done with that, he can choose to never read a "story" ever again for all I care. So, we just need to make sure he can get through school and its expectations, while we focus MOST of our attention on making sure he is ready for the REAL world.

OP, it's normal to struggle with school related issues with a special needs kid. It's normal to question everything, and feel like there is more that you can do. You have to listen to your gut. If you really feel that he is NOT in the right place, and school is not good for him, pull him out, or fight for help that you think he should be getting. However, also know that it's OK to have a child that is struggling, and it's OK to have a child who is behind his peers. All kids are different. You have no idea what the other children in his class struggle with, and everyone has something that is hard for them. Try not to do too much of the comparison stuff.
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:45 PM   #25
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If he is that behind, I can't imagine him not getting support even if he repeats a grade. There is no way you could have held him back, and kept him in the preschool program, because it's a Federal program, for children ages 3 - 5. Once he turned 6, he was no longer eligible for the program. However, he IS still eligible for special education, even if he stays back. He already has an IEP in place.

I'm not trying to talk you out of homeschooling, just want you to know he is probably still eligible for services.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:12 PM   #26
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too short

We redshirted our son only because he was very small for his age. We have never regretted it and never looked back. He is top of his class and going strong into high school.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:14 PM   #27
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Iep

I am not sure if your son qualifies for special education services but those services are to be given to your son no matter what. You can redshirt and still get whatever the team decides that he needs. Special education services are wonderful and help keep a kiddo on track for success.
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Old 03-29-2013, 11:36 AM   #28
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OP here,

Thanks for all the responses! Didn't mean to make this about me, but rather about red shirting in general. Since you asked... Our goal is to spend the next two years repeating 2nd grade and moving into 3rd and 4th. So he can reenter "on-time" in 5th, if we chose. I am sure he will need services at that time, but hopefully, not. He has a learning disability label to get services, but I don't agree with their procedure to advance his grade without mastery while his IEP goals says are 1-2 years behind. I do not want to hold him back now because he has recently become socially aware. The stigma of being "behind" his friends would be detrimental, we think. We don't want to reinforce that he is "dumb", but just different and build in those differences. Those differences include benefitting form one in one attention and constant monitoring of his work and learning which homeschool offers the ultimate environment to do so. It is a grand experiment and enter Into it knowing the safety net of public school is available. In regards to services, if we homeschool, then all,but speech will be withdrawn. And speech is only for a few months because his three year testing period is due in by the new year. When and if he enters he will need placement testing and more to see if he requalifies for services and what grade he would be in. The hope is that he will be with his age peers with little to no modifications and accommodations.
In terms of socialization which inevitably comes up when talking homeschool many of his classmates live within 4 blocks of us in the same development and we are highly active in Cub Scouts (I am committee chair) and plan on sport leagues and the like for PE. About 25% of our pack is homeschooled. We got this

Thanks again for the comments and reading my long winded posts
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Old 03-29-2013, 03:27 PM   #29
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I don't have a lot of time to respond as I am headed out the door but just wanted to add that we homeschool.

I have a son who is now 15 and is probably 2 years behind in most subjects because of his reading and writing deficiencies.

Our psychologist even said that HSing was the best thing we could do for him. The one on one attention and help have given him what a school could not.

I am not going to argue school/homeschool. I worked as a teacher and a guidance counselor in a public high school for a little over 16 years. I am not anti-PS at all, I just know that for us, and particularly for our oldest, it has been the very best thing for him.
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