I should’a taken that left in Albuquerque (Updated 5/18/13 Pg10)

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Chapter 1: Road to Nowhere

Because I believe this TR could use an actual Introduction

I miss Disney.

A lot…

For reasons A, B and G, I’ve not set foot inside one of Walt’s parks since Christmas of 2010.











a lovely trip relived in this little TR…



Youre writing a TR... Really?
(Christmas at POR, 2010)





And I’ve not been on Disney property since after sailing aboard the Dream in mid 2011











with that trip,
including a short no-park stay at the Wilderness Lodge
being regaled in this TR…



Experiment-627
(A Caribbean Double with a Wilderness Chaser)





No… there were other things that needed to happen (and which would cost us a serious dollar or two) that would keep us from getting back into the parks for some time.












with the primary reason being discussed in this particular “Non-Disney” TR …



A Thanksgiving Odyssey
(Bands, Buses and Big Bad Balloons)





Now those excursions were nothing short of fabulous to be sure…

(and they gave me an excuse to actually show you a few Disney pictures at least once in this here TR, so start savoring)

Unquestionably, 2011 had been a high water mark in our families travel experiences.

don’t believe me?
Go and read those last two TRs I linked back up the way there.

Oh, and I promise that’s the last time I will “overtly” plug those other little efforts. I may… refer you to a piece of one here or there, but that’s a different offence (and I’ll make no promises on that score).

All that being said though, those prior excursions had also drained our coffers to the point where it was going to be a might more difficult to travel anywhere in the next year. As Dick Clark was making his annual appearance on what would be his last New Year’s Eve party and counting down the last few seconds to the beginning of a bright shinny new 2012… we had no trips of any kind planed at all.

Not a one…

Not to anywhere…

Nada…

We’d resigned ourselves to basically staying ‘round the house the next year and traveling no farther then say… the beach for a day or two (since that’s only 180 miles and we have access to a place to stay, but I‘ll discuss that more later on). What we didn’t know at the time that big ol’ Tiffany Crystal ball was descending the poll atop 1 Times Square





…was that we’d be traversing a couple of good sized chunks of the U.S. east of the Mississippi. We’d even find ourselves in several locations and states of the union in which we’d never trod before. The truth of the mater is that there was actually a good bit of travel on our horizon; it was just shrouded in mist and mystery at the time.




= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
OK… so what does any of this have to do with a left turn?

(you know, that thing I chose to name this hear TR after in the first place)





Well… flying out of “CLT”
(that’s Charlotte-Douglas International Airport to the uninitiated)





is expensive under all conditions.

It’s a hub for US Air, does not have any service from Southwest, and the folks at “Agony Air” have virtually no other competition. As such, prices are monopolistically high.

What this means to me is that “nearly all” of our travels are relegated to the distance I can drive a vehicle (and even that must then be within the short time frames that my employer will allow me to be “out of pocket”). Given this handicap, the key to getting nearly anywhere is to hop onto the mighty Eisenhower thoroughfares




(aka: the Interstates).

Yes, I know this is common knowledge but its also true that unless you have extra time or a specific agenda, the big “I”s are generally the most direct route to any destination and therefore allow you to save as much time as possible for actually enjoying said destination. It’s just that they can be somewhat of a boring drive.

Like most folks, I live right near one of these arteries; specifically the one that travels between Cleveland, OH (remember that it’ll come up again latter on) and Columbia, SC. The one designated as: Number 77. If one wished to travel to The Happiest Place on Earth from my humble abode, they’d be making a very definite left onto I-77 South in order to head directly toward all that pixy dust.



The problem is that I kept turning right!



Every time one of these initially unforeseen excursions would crop up, it called for me to make a right turn onto our part of the interstate and basically head in nearly every direction imaginable other then south. I was continually headed away form Disney.

Here let me illustrate the problem…





That right there is a quick map of the various routes that I found myself traveling at different points of 2012. A lot more miles then I’d have initial wagered on to be sure. And my plan for this TR is to talk a little bit about each of them. Some chapters will be fairly short; some will take up a bit more space.

And (as my few regular readers know) there is always the potential for an unexpected “Bonus Feature” to raise its ugly head

(You’ll learn about those soon enough, or you can read a past TR and be quite clear on the kind of devastation that can be wrought by one of those little Easter Eggs).

Like this one for example.


Since each of these trips was different, I’ll hold off on introducing the various players in each drama until we reach that particular episode. But I am sad to have to report; that I will be appearing in all of them. At least you’ve been warned.

Along the way, We’ll encounter new cities, several museums, an honest to goodness major “Hall of Fame” (but probably not the one you’re thinking of), history, culture, several ships (hay it’s me remember… there has to be ships), interesting dining options and even a major amusement park (just not one of Walt’s).

Well that’s about it for the introductions, explanations, disclaimers, warnings…

You get the idea.

I think I’ll just close off this part of the tale with a few images that will give you a clue of what kind of “exotic” locals and “mysterious” destinations would be beckoning to us.

Submitted for your approval, a collection of otherwise non sequitur images….


























Please observe that if you do not wish to continue on this ride, the final emergency exit is just to your left… it’s the back button on your browser (and it may well be a left you ought to take), but if you choose to continue on, the elevator will be here shortly…









Next up: “Guess what kids… We’re going to Dayton!”

“Yippee?”

[mm1971]

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Im sure there is something better then this TR,
But you're still invited to jump on into this mud puddle anyway.


Jim, glad to have you aboard.





Yep..
You gonna fit in 'round here right nicely.

Not then...
What exactly is this "grammar" thing of which you speak?

My grandmother was a second grade teacher growing up. I got beatings every time I spoke or spelled incorrectly. It's not my fault......really. I was bullied into it. I really do feel bad for my kids as I am ALWAYS correcting them too.

[mm1971]

Hey, I know that place.

I thought you said no Disney? Those were definitely some Disney pics in this report. Now I'm not so sure about this.

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by mm1971

My grandmother was a second grade teacher growing up. I got beatings every time I spoke or spelled incorrectly. It's not my fault......really. I was bullied into it. I really do feel bad for my kids as I am ALWAYS correcting them too.

I think every second grade teacher from my childhood had a similar point of view.

My school work, especially the writing, was deemed so inferior that as penance I actually spent the entirety of the second grade being deprived of any and all recess. Anytime we went outside, I was put in the equivalent of modern day “time out” where I could watch everyone else play… but could not take part. Didn’t work though, I’m pretty stubborn. My writing ability is still sub par. Actually, I’ve done given up any pretence at proper grammar and simply write it as I would have said it.

On the up side…
You’ll have plenty of opportunity to beat me up on that score.

Originally Posted by mm1971

Hey, I know that place.

I thought you said no Disney? Those were definitely some Disney pics in this report. Now I'm not so sure about this.

My advice… SAVE YOURSELF!

Run away! (I may even have said that in the first post… I’ll have to go back and check)

Now, to your point…
I said that we weren’t going to Disney.
I didn’t say I wouldn’t find some bogus reason not to stick a Disney reference into this disaster in the making. There will be copious links to things Disney making appearances through out this monster as well.

[KatMark]

Next up: “Guess what kids… We’re going to Dayton!”

“Yippee?”
[/CENTER][/QUOTE]

Aren't intros supposed to consist of the people ON THE trip? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Dayton, huh? I've been to parts of Ohio, but I don't think Dayton was one of them.

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by KatMark

Aren't intros supposed to consist of the people ON THE trip? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Good point!
Already on the job of keeping me straight I see (well someone’s gott’a do it).

Now then, for a conventional TR… absolutely.
But as I said in the last update…

Since each of these trips was different, I’ll hold off on introducing the various players in each drama until we reach that particular episode. But I am sad to have to report; that I will be appearing in all of them. At least you’ve been warned.

…this TR ain’t conventional.

So…
I’ll introduce the players in each saga when that tale appears on the horizon.
But I promise that I’ll try to get this info in there early.
Fair enough?



Oh, one more warning…
Everyone in my family hates to have their picture taken.
Really hates it.

So there will be more pictures of where we’re going then of us actually being there.
I don’t understand why DW and DS are this way being such good lookers,
but it’s better that I don’t appear in too many photos.
Can’t be traumatizing the kids ya’ know

Family board and all :

Originally Posted by KatMark

Dayton, huh? I've been to parts of Ohio, but I don't think Dayton was one of them.

Just wait… it gets worse.
I’m about to give you a detailed look at the inside of a collage basketball arena
But we ain’t gonn’a be playing any b-ball

But in the way of an apology, the two parts after that update will include a Major “Hall of Fame” and a museum.

Oh…
And a hot dog.

Yah for the hot dog!

[Captain_Oblivious]

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Charlie Dog: "Look, bud. Don't miss this golden opportunity. I am 50 percent pointer. (points his finger in various directions) There it is… There it is… There it is… 50 percent boxer. (does some boxing moves) 50 percent setter. (sits on a stool and smokes a pipe) Irish setter. 50 percent watchdog. (pulls a pocket watch out of his waist fur) 50 percent spitz." (spits on the ground), but mostly I'm all Labrador retriever."

Porky: "Oh, you are n-n-not a Labrador retriever."

Charlie Dog: "I'm not."

Porky: "No. You are n-n-not neither no Labrador retriever."

Charlie Dog: "Look, if you doubt my word, get me a Labrador, and I'll retrieve it. That's fair, isn't it?"

Porky: "A l-l-Labrador? W-w-well sure, I... ah... you..."

Charlie Dog: "Have you got a Labrador?"

Porky: "N-no."

Charlie Dog: "Know where you can get a Labrador?"

Porky: "N-n-n-no!"

Charlie Dog: "Then shudd-up.”

Ah, Looney Tunes. This is what I call art.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

As for the gimmick aspect of it…
I actually thought about that. I figured it would give everyone some realistic reason to follow along. But lacking any appreciable amount of creativity, I just couldn’t come up with a good idea (short of plagiarizing something that has already been done before).

Plagiarizing? That would be like inserting movie quotes from other, better writers. Nobody would stoop that low.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

The truth of the mater is that there was actually a good bit of travel on our horizon; it was just shrouded in mist and mystery at the time.

I hope you drove carefully, then.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

It’s a hub for US Air, does not have any service from Southwest, and the folks at “Agony Air” have virtually no other competition. As such, prices are monopolistically high.

And that's before the bag fees.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Here let me illustrate the problem…

I don't see Delaware on any of these excursions.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Along the way, We’ll encounter new cities, several museums, an honest to goodness major “Hall of Fame” (but probably not the one you’re thinking of), history, culture, several ships (hay it’s me remember… there has to be ships), interesting dining options and even a major amusement park (just not one of Walt’s).

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Please observe that if you do not wish to continue on this ride, the final emergency exit is just to your left… it’s the back button on your browser (and it may well be a left you ought to take), but if you choose to continue on, the elevator will be here shortly…

Oh, no. I'm not falling for that one again.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Next up: “Guess what kids… We’re going to Dayton!”

“Yippee?”

"They said we made space travel look as exciting as a trip to Pittsburgh."

[Grooovertoo]

Nope, throwing caution to the wind and joining in for this one. I always get great insight and knowledge in reading your trip reports. Trudge on my friend...you had me at the BB reference.

[afwdwfan]

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

You should not read this Trip Report.

Ok, Bye

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

After near a decade of finding one way or another to get ourselves a little bit of Pixy Dust about once per annum, we finally hit a dry patch; a very dry patch.

We’re talking arid…

parched…

desiccated…

Sahara-esk in scale.

I'm sorry... one year and you're a drama queen about it???

I went from 1998 to 2008.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

No matter, I just enjoy taking the time to recount the trips for my own amusement. It gives me something to focus on beyond the job that no longer captures my imagination.

I can understand that sentiment.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

My demonstrated lack of devotees (beyond a few diehards that enjoy ripping my prose to shreds purely for the sport of it)

Surely, you're not talking about me...

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

But I’m going to write about it anyway.

That being the case…
why not take the time to regularly insult me and savage my feeble linguistic abilities.

That part of it might actually be fun…
For you.

If you insist.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

You, however…
will be playing the part of the evil villain whose every waking moment is consumed by the need to tear down and destroy everything in sight. While I, being your host, will certainly supply you with plenty of opportunities to do so and many structures upon which devastation can be wrought.

I think I'm up to the challenge. Not that it will be much of a challenge.

[QUOTE=GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes;47194833]

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

What this means to me is that “nearly all” of our travels are relegated to the distance I can drive a vehicle (and even that must then be within the short time frames that my employer will allow me to be “out of pocket”). Given this handicap, the key to getting nearly anywhere is to hop onto the mighty Eisenhower thoroughfares

ROAD TRIP!!!!

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

the big “I”s are generally the most direct route to any destination and therefore allow you to save as much time as possible for actually enjoying said destination.

They're typically the fastest, but not necessarily most direct...

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

I was continually headed away form Disney.

My evil plans were coming together quite nicely...

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

And (as my few regular readers know) there is always the potential for an unexpected “Bonus Feature” to raise its ugly head

Here we go again...

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Well that’s about it for the introductions, explanations, disclaimers, warnings…

Actually, I haven't seen any introductions yet...

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Next up: “Guess what kids… We’re going to Dayton!”

“Yippee?”
[/CENTER]

Do we get a tour of Hangar 18?

Originally Posted by KatMark

Aren't intros supposed to consist of the people ON THE trip? Correct me if I'm wrong.

And your voice of sanity is on the attack!

[mm1971]

I thought we were going to Dayton?


At least Andy is entertaining us while we wait. Thanks Andy!

[KatMark]

Hello. Anybody home? My popcorn is almost gone.

[afwdwfan]

Originally Posted by mm1971

I thought we were going to Dayton?


At least Andy is entertaining us while we wait. Thanks Andy!

He must have been abducted by one of those little green men they have stashed at Wright-Patterson.

and I have some more popcorn right here, Kathy!



You're going to need it. You're also going to need this:

[FreezinRafiki]

If you've been waiting for me, I'm here now, and we can get going.

(That will also comprise the first and last time that I mention anything resembling the apparent speed of a TR. I'm bogged down on my own, have another to write, and am woefully behind on reading the ones I want to be reading.)

[KatMark]

Originally Posted by FreezinRafiki

, and am woefully behind on reading the ones I want to be reading.)

I can attest to that!

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Ah, Looney Tunes. This is what I call art.

And there are many others that agree…
Myself included!

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Plagiarizing? That would be like inserting movie quotes from other, better writers. Nobody would stoop that low.

No one I know.
Maybe what we’re really discussing here in intellectual property theft then.
You know… Chinese innovation
(I didn’t actually say that did I? : )

I mean, such greats as “Spot the Quote”, “Find the Lie” and “The Beverly Slogan Contest”, have all been done…

Seriously… what’s left?

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

I hope you drove carefully, then.

My car is older then everyone else’s.
If they want to protect their investments…
They’ll get the heck out of my way.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

And that's before the bag fees.

I think the law should be that they simply advertise the whole price and be done with it.
It’s like the infomercials that sell crap for “five easy payments of 19.95”.

It don’t matter how you rearrange it, that’s a hundred bucks.
(Plus shipping and handling )

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

I don't see Delaware on any of these excursions.

alas tis true.

I’d planed a much greater summer adventure you may remember, but the rest of the world wouldn’t allow it.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Oh, no. I'm not falling for that one again.

Been here before have you?

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

"They said we made space travel look as exciting as a trip to Pittsburgh."

Yah, but Jim will be back home... on Friday…


Actually, I’ve seen at least one person around here make parts of Pittsburgh appear to be quite entertaining.