I should’a taken that left in Albuquerque (Updated 5/18/13 Pg10)

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

I should’a taken that left in Albuquerque…

A trip report that just ain’t gonn’a make it to Disney

Let me go on ahead and immediately make one thing very clear…



You should not read this Trip Report.



It’s just not in your best interest to do so (and it’s probably not in mine to be writing it). Now, if one were to continue reading anyway, then the only guarantee I can make is that the following paragraphs, images and commentary will not transport you to Disney World or any of Walt’s associated parks, resorts or attractions.





And Why Not?





Well, because the sad truth is that through the entirety of 2012… my family succeeded in visiting Disney property a some total of exactly: ZERO times. After near a decade of finding one way or another to get ourselves a little bit of Pixy Dust about once per annum, we finally hit a dry patch; a very dry patch.

We’re talking arid…

parched…

desiccated…

Sahara-esk in scale.


The reasons for this I’ll get into later, but they really don’t matter to you right now. That would be due to the fact that you’re not going to be following along any farther anyway. Therefore… you’ll never see the reasons even if I were to post them.


Right?


OK, so what’s the point of all this then?


Well, there are actually two points (neither of which will do you a lick of good).

Firstly (and I use that word just to antagonize the ghost of Mark Twain)… firstly, I said that we did not travel to Disney, but… and this is key… but… that don’t mean we didn’t travel (and by definition this is a trip report). It is true that we did not originally intend to travel at all during 2012, but we succeed in doing so despite that initial lack of planning or foresight. Which means… there are stories to tell and things to see.
They just may not be very interesting to you and/or you may well not care about them.

But they’re there.

there, their… there ,they’re… their, they’re…
Oh, never mind


OK, secondly…





Yah I know Sam… just you get over it now, ya’ hear!





As I was sayin’… Secondly, I’m writing this simply to be writing this.

(Aaaaaaaand, there’s a bad reason if ever I’ve heard one.)

Ya’ see, I didn’t discover the art (or is that vice ) of TR composition until after our 2010 Christmas adventure to POR. Which is why you were spared the horror of enduring reports for every other “On World” appearance we made through the rest of the twenty-aughts. But the thing is… I like writing them. Really. So much so, that it doesn’t matter to me that much whether or not anyone else reads ‘em (which is a good thing ‘cause not many folks choose to do so… or at least not many go beyond the lurking stage and officially admit to it… we all have our reputations to consider don’t ya’ know). No matter, I just enjoy taking the time to recount the trips for my own amusement. It gives me something to focus on beyond the job that no longer captures my imagination.

And that is why I’m tellin’ you now that you ought not be reading any farther. My demonstrated lack of devotees (beyond a few diehards that enjoy ripping my prose to shreds purely for the sport of it) confirms to me that the writing can’t be all that engrossing. Combine that last point with my frequent tendency to wander away from the main story line and dredge up or over analyze unrelated topics from the random to the obscure, and then go ahead and add in the fact that we still just ain’t goin’ to Disney…


and there should be plenty enough reason for you to just move along.







These aren’t the posts you’re looking for… move along…





But I’m going to write about it anyway.

That being the case…
why not take the time to regularly insult me and savage my feeble linguistic abilities.

That part of it might actually be fun…
For you.





= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
*** Table of Contents ***




Because this looked like as good a place as any to put one…

So you get one…




Chapter 1: Road to Nowhere


Chapter 2: With Arms Wide Open
Part-0: The Introduction you foolishly asked for…
Part 1: W. G. I.
Part 2: Long Strange Trip
Part 3: The Opportune Moment
Part 4: Descending the Schmatterhorn


Chapter 3: A Lack of Adult Supervision
Part 1: Just what do you think you’re doing?
Part 2: Via Regia
Part 3: How Not to be Seen
Part 4: Have Fun Storming the Castle
Part 4.5: …Let Me Sum Up


Chapter 4: The Peninsular Campaign
The Opening Salvo

Phase-1
Operation: Glass House
Operation: Glass House (Continued)

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Bonus Features

These are links to anything off topic that endeds up being tossed in here...
If you've read an of my previous TRs, you know what these are.
If your new to this process... lord help you.



01: Bubba’s Lecture on Corn <=== a guest appearance by my nemesis


02: A Ship in the Desert

Part 1: A Desert by Any Other Name

Part 2: A River Ran Through It

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

And one more for good measure

[Captain_Oblivious]

Hey...what's this?

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

A trip report that just ain’t gonn’a make it to Disney

Well, I'm guilty of a couple of those as well. So...stones in glass houses and all that.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Let me go on ahead and immediately make one thing very clear…


You should not read this Trip Report.

We're guys. Saying that just makes us keep going.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Well, because the sad truth is that through the entirety of 2012… my family succeeded in visiting Disney property a some total of exactly: ZERO times. After near a decade of finding one way or another to get ourselves a little bit of Pixy Dust about once per annum, we finally hit a dry patch; a very dry patch.

We’re talking arid…

parched…

desiccated…

Sahara-esk in scale.

Plus, college tuition bills suck.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

OK, so what’s the point of all this then?

There was a point?

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

As I was sayin’… Secondly, I’m writing this simply to be writing this.

So it's an existential trip report.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

But the thing is… I like writing them. Really. So much so, that it doesn’t matter to me that much whether or not anyone else reads ‘em (which is a good thing ‘cause not many folks choose to do so… or at least not many go beyond the lurking stage and officially admit to it… we all have our reputations to consider don’t ya’ know). No matter, I just enjoy taking the time to recount the trips for my own amusement. It gives me something to focus on beyond the job that no longer captures my imagination.

I find that writing them keeps the memories of the trip alive that much longer in order to distract me from work, too. And my family and I can re-visit them later.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

My demonstrated lack of devotees (beyond a few diehards that enjoy ripping my prose to shreds purely for the sport of it) confirms to me that the writing can’t be all that engrossing.

Oh, stop beating yourself up. I like reading them. And some other people have been known to resort to PM'ing buddies when the TR is posted or inserting cheap gimmicks like movie-quote contests in order to artificially bump up the readership.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

These aren't the posts you're looking for...

That only works on the weak-minded.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

That being the case…
why not take the time to regularly insult me and savage my feeble linguistic abilities.

Ok, if you say so.

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
*** Table of Contents ***

These aren't the posts I'm looking for.

[afwdwfan]

Well, I guess I'll have to get back around here and harass you later.

[mm1971]

I'm not good with authority, Now that you said I shouldn't read it, I really have no choice. And besides, what else is there for me to do around here.

I'll feel free to fling the insults, humor and grammar corrections at all times just so you know we care.

Now get on with it. You know you want to.

[KatMark]

I'm here...now doesn't that just make your day complete?

Off to do some "real" work, but will be back to catch up later.

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Hey...what's this?

“That… is the question.”

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Well, I'm guilty of a couple of those as well. So...stones in glass houses and all that.

There’s so little glass left in my house that we get drenched whenever it rains.
You might as well through ‘em. Andy certainly will if he finds out about this.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

We're guys. Saying that just makes us keep going.

Hummm…
that thought never occurred to me.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Plus, college tuition bills suck.

Yes they do sir.
And I’ve only got to endure it once.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

There was a point?

Charlie Dog: "Look, bud. Don't miss this golden opportunity. I am 50 percent pointer. (points his finger in various directions) There it is… There it is… There it is… 50 percent boxer. (does some boxing moves) 50 percent setter. (sits on a stool and smokes a pipe) Irish setter. 50 percent watchdog. (pulls a pocket watch out of his waist fur) 50 percent spitz." (spits on the ground), but mostly I'm all Labrador retriever."

Porky: "Oh, you are n-n-not a Labrador retriever."

Charlie Dog: "I'm not."

Porky: "No. You are n-n-not neither no Labrador retriever."

Charlie Dog: "Look, if you doubt my word, get me a Labrador, and I'll retrieve it. That's fair, isn't it?"

Porky: "A l-l-Labrador? W-w-well sure, I... ah... you..."

Charlie Dog: "Have you got a Labrador?"

Porky: "N-no."

Charlie Dog: "Know where you can get a Labrador?"

Porky: "N-n-n-no!"

Charlie Dog: "Then shudd-up.”

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

So it's an existential trip report.

It’s more mythological but so long as you continue to think that I’m real…
then at least in theory I will continue to exist.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

I find that writing them keeps the memories of the trip alive that much longer in order to distract me from work, too. And my family and I can re-visit them later.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding…

I suspected that you’d get it.

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

Oh, stop beating yourself up. I like reading them.

Ehhhh…
I’ve been beating myself up for a very long time now.
It’s both a pastime and an excellent defense mechanism; if I beat them to it…
they have no effective weapons.

Kind’a like a scorched earth policy. :

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

And some other people have been known to resort to PM'ing buddies when the TR is posted or inserting cheap gimmicks like movie-quote contests in order to artificially bump up the readership.

And it works marvelously well.
I’m sure that being genuinely funny and having three adorable kids to talk about and include pictures of had nothing to do with it.

As for the gimmick aspect of it…
I actually thought about that. I figured it would give everyone some realistic reason to follow along. But lacking any appreciable amount of creativity, I just couldn’t come up with a good idea (short of plagiarizing something that has already been done before).

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

That only works on the weak-minded.

Ho ho ho. Ya koo tocha ka poonoo nee sok nyee.

Ha mongo/Bargon wan chee kospah ol Jedi.
Chone manya weesh asha beecho.
Boschka!

Originally Posted by Captain_Oblivious

These aren't the posts I'm looking for.

Who's the more foolish?
The fool, or the fool who follows him?






And…

Officially!
Glad to have you along.

You’ll be playing the part of the supportive mentor who attempts to point me in the right direction and offers constructive suggestion as to where I could most certainly have done better than that had I only thought it through

Failing that… sarcasm and derision will be the order of the day.

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by afwdwfan

Well, I guess I'll have to get back around here and harass you later.

You, however…
will be playing the part of the evil villain whose every waking moment is consumed by the need to tear down and destroy everything in sight. While I, being your host, will certainly supply you with plenty of opportunities to do so and many structures upon which devastation can be wrought.


Andy…

I’m actually glad you decided to take on this important roll.

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by mm1971

I'm not good with authority, Now that you said I shouldn't read it, I really have no choice. And besides, what else is there for me to do around here.

Im sure there is something better then this TR,
But you're still invited to jump on into this mud puddle anyway.


Jim, glad to have you aboard.

Originally Posted by mm1971

I'll feel free to fling the insults, humor and grammar corrections at all times just so you know we care.

Now get on with it. You know you want to.

Yep..
You gonna fit in 'round here right nicely.

Not then...
What exactly is this "grammar" thing of which you speak?

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by KatMark

I'm here...now doesn't that just make your day complete?

Off to do some "real" work, but will be back to catch up later.

As a matter of fact…
It does.


There needs to be at least on voice of sanity.
For now you’ll be playing the part of the heroine that needs to be lifted out of this B-grade disaster of a script and given a real part in a more critically noteworthy production.




But I recommend that you save yourself and abandon this doomed ship at the next safe harbor.

[KatMark]

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

As a matter of fact…
It does.


There needs to be at least on voice of sanity.
For now you’ll be playing the part of the heroine that needs to be lifted out of this B-grade disaster of a script and given a real part in a more critically noteworthy production.




But I recommend that you save yourself and abandon this doomed ship at the next safe harbor.

Okay caught up and that was so boring that I will now officially stop reading. NOT! While I will admit that I sometimes get confused and I don't know half the movies you guys talk about, I definitely think a sane, female prescence is needed in these parts, and I'm sticking!

And just a word to Mark, Andy and whatever other dads show up that I know, watch your toes...I'm keeping both eyes and ears open on this one.

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Originally Posted by KatMark

Okay caught up and that was so boring that I will now officially stop reading. NOT! While I will admit that I sometimes get confused and I don't know half the movies you guys talk about, I definitely think a sane, female prescence is needed in these parts, and I'm sticking!

And just a word to Mark, Andy and whatever other dads show up that I know, watch your toes...I'm keeping both eyes and ears open on this one.

Oh my…
I do believe that we’ve been put on notice.

I guess that I’ll need to be minding my Ps and Qs


Thanks for deciding to tough it out Kat.



Well… I was intending to put up the next little bit of this mess in the morning and see if I couldn’t round up a few more followers initially, but this may well be the bulk of my audience for the duration.


I could do worse.


Anyway, I think I’ll go ahead and “publish the official introduction tonight and get to work on the actual first chapter. So unless someone has a compelling reason why I should not do such…

I’ll have that post up in a little bit.

[KatMark]

Originally Posted by GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes

Anyway, I think I’ll go ahead and “publish the official introduction tonight and get to work on the actual first chapter. So unless someone has a compelling reason why I should not do such…

I’ll have that post up in a little bit.

I'm ready

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]