Thoughts on child support

[allison443]

Originally Posted by MomRN

I was 16, living on my own working full-time and going to high school, and my dad still paid. Makes me angry to this day and a small part of the reason I have cut ties with my mother. When I graduated high school and enough was enough, she could have signed a paper... but instead, essentially forced me to quit college and get legally emancipated at 18 so the child support would be done (my dad told me I didn't need to do that...several times.. but I was fed up with her draining whatever she could from whoever she could).

Is it fair. No. Is it the law? Yes. The only option is for the child to get emancipated.

How is it even possible for a 16 year old to live on their own, work full time and go to high school? Seriously, that's a terrible situation for parents to put their child in, in my opinion.

[can'tgetenufofwdw]

Originally Posted by allison443

Are you still talking about the situation in your OP? The child is living with grandparents you said, not the other parent. Is the kid giving the other parent part of the child support?

Yes still talking about same situation. Child is living under grandmas roof with dad. Dad is getting divorce #3 as we speak. Child is not giving grandma or dad any $ towards mortgage.

[mfd25wife]

Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw

If poverty level is considered $10,830 for one person. Child is making 22,880 a year for himself. Wouldn't that qualify as the ability to self support? If a parent chooses to let the child live rent free, should the other parent have to "pick up the slack" and help ex pay his/her mortgage/rent?

You have to look at it as the courts would see it based on current law. It makes no difference what seems right in someone's eye's. The judge, the court, only sees what the law demands.

[disneymarie]

"In New York State, a child is entitled to be supported by his or her parents until the age of 21. However, if the child is under 21 years of age, and is married, or self-supporting, or in the military, the child is considered to be "emancipated" and the parents' support obligation ends.

A child may also be considered "emancipated" if he or she is between 17 and 21, leaves the parents' home and refuses to obey the parents' reasonable commands."

[allison443]

Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw

Yes still talking about same situation. Child is living under grandmas roof with dad. Dad is getting divorce #3 as we speak. Child is not giving grandma or dad any $ towards mortgage.

Why would anyone give dad money? It's grandmas house not dad's. Who is supposed to be paying the child support? Mom or Dad?

[happygirl]

Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw

Yes still talking about same situation. Child is living under grandmas roof with dad. Dad is getting divorce #3 as we speak. Child is not giving grandma or dad any $ towards mortgage.

why should they child have to pay his grandma/dad mortgage?

[Janepod]

Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw

Yes still talking about same situation. Child is living under grandmas roof with dad. Dad is getting divorce #3 as we speak. Child is not giving grandma or dad any $ towards mortgage.

No court is going to rule that child support $ should go toward grandma's mortgage.

[mfd25wife]

Originally Posted by disneymarie

"In New York State, a child is entitled to be supported by his or her parents until the age of 21. However, if the child is under 21 years of age, and is married, or self-supporting, or in the military, the child is considered to be "emancipated" and the parents' support obligation ends.

A child may also be considered "emancipated" if he or she is between 17 and 21, leaves the parents' home and refuses to obey the parents' reasonable commands."

I think, and I'm not an expert, the question then becomes, "what is self supporting". Does it require the child to live on their own. Does it mean the child support stops after a certain $ amount? $11/hour is still going to make money tight. Is the child guaranteed 40 hours/week?

If the non custodial parent wants to end child support, that parent needs to appeal to the court system and prove child is self supporting and emancipated.

[can'tgetenufofwdw]

Originally Posted by happygirl

You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.

[mfd25wife]

I don't live in NY, but doesn't the support go to dad for him to use as needed for child? If mom has an issue, she needs to approach the courts. In AR, they can force the custodial parent to show how money is used, but that is very rarely done. I don't think the court demands how dad applies the money or proves how it is used, normally.

[happygirl]

Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw

You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.

hang in there

[Janepod]

Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw

You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.

What the law states is not always what we think is fair, unfortunately. Be glad that you are able to provide for him.

And frankly, I wouldn't expect an 18-year-old to stand up to his/her father about something like this. This is between the parents and the court.

[Robbi]

Originally Posted by mfd25wife

I may be wrong, but I think you stereotyped. This sounds like Mom's egg=mom's son=mom has to follow the law. I think the OP mentioned dad lives with parents and child lives in same house.

Sorry, you're right, I did. "Mom's egg=mom's son=mom has to follow the law."

[can'tgetenufofwdw]

I appreciate all of the opinions and thoughts. This is such a sensitive subject for me and am trying to be objective as I read everyone's thoughts. I have to believe in Karma. It's the only thing that keeps me sane in this mess.

[DebbieB]

In PA, it's 18 or finish high school. I know my brother has struggled for years to pay his child support, he lives in a basement apartment. His son just turned 18 but will not graduate until June. His company has been laying off, he's hoping he can hold on until June.