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Old 06-16-2013, 05:42 PM   #1
sam_rogers
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awkward parents...

sorry if this is OT but i'm just wondering if any other dis brides have had to deal with awkward parents. me and dbf are looking to have a memories wedding at the luau next september with just us and my parents and brothers. we've had our heart set on this for a little while and were looking forward to a stress free intimate wedding. I discussed it with my parents earlier and I had a rant from my dad all over dinner about how its silly to go all that way (we live in england) and if we want a cheap wedding we can have one at home. I overheard him saying to my mum later that if we want a small wedding we could just have it in a registry office. I dont want to cause arguements but I feel like its going to ruin my wedding and I just wondered if any one else has had this situation and how they dealt with it
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Old 06-16-2013, 06:54 PM   #2
ChavonDisneyWedding
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You have to realize that your wedding is about you and your soon to be spouse. I have gone through something similar with my Escape Wedding and had to just say this what we are doing, we think it will be very special, and we want u to join us. When I explained what getting married at WDW meant to us people came around. If they choose not to come then just be as understanding as possible and move on. Don't change your plans u will regret it and become resentful that u let others take away your special day.
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Old 06-17-2013, 01:23 PM   #3
aschwarz
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To the OP, I too had a very unfavorable reaction from a few close family members, mom and sister included. They still don't even acknowledge that it's something I want. It hurts, and I understand how you feel. But ultimately I have decided that if a Disney wedding is in my price range and is what I want, it's my choice to do so and I can only hope my friends and family are understanding and supportive of that. If not, I understand that they cannot or will not attend and I will accept it for what it is. Hang in there! Lots of people I'm sure have had the same experiences.
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:15 PM   #4
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My in-laws were all for the Disney wedding if it was small. But then there were some weird comments on Facebook (really?) later about how Disney is doing very well all because of our wedding. It really upset me because our wedding was so small and affordable (an Escape wedding) compared to a bigger wedding if we had it at home, plus they didn't have to pay for anything regarding the wedding other than getting themselves there and their room, WHICH, I got them a 50% discount on and free park tickets through my brother who works for Disney...so yeah, there are always going to be Disney haters. People who think we're just giving money to a corporation or who think anything to do with Disney is either extravagant and the bride wants to be a princess (none of which applied to me or my wedding).

I found it difficult to tell some people we were having a Disney wedding because people assume all those things. It was frustrating, but in the end it was a beautiful day and I am so glad we did it because I wanted my special day to be in my favorite place on Earth.
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:29 PM   #5
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My brother had a destination wedding, not at Disney though. He was pretty nervous about telling the family that he wanted us to literally travel around the world to get to/return from his wedding. But we just told him that if he wanted to have his wedding in Bali, we would go. We got passports, got shots for diseases we don't have in the US, and spent 24 hours traveling to the wedding destination because that is WHAT HE WANTED. And in the end, it was a fantastic experience for my family, so many experiences and memories that we still talk about five years later, experiences you don't get from going to the court house or a banquet room at the hotel down the street.

When I think about the Memories collection, it's almost like you are eloping but have a couple people in your life you can't bare to NOT have at your wedding and your Dad is one of those people. I'm really sorry your Dad is giving you a hard time, I hope he comes around soon because you should have what you want. Best wishes to you.
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:19 AM   #6
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Thanks everyone! its good to hear that other people have had the same problem and still managed to get their dream wedding. I'm hoping he'll come round to the idea of it, or at least keep his opinion of it a bit quieter. On the upside at least my brothers keen on a trip to Florida
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:58 AM   #7
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We are flying from N.Ireland to have a small wedding at Luau Beach in September (Hi-5)

My Dad is also difficult at times. I actually didn't speak to him for about 5 days over an argument he started regarding photography. He heard me say I would love to get a few photos taken outside the entrance of the M.Kingdom. I just said it would be a lovely idea I never said I was actually going to do it and he flew off on one shouting - Do u think your guests are going to stand about all day waiting for you getting photos took?
(Uhh yeah) thats what normally happens at weddings! We got into a huge fight, I told him he didn't have to be there and that my 2-yr old daughter would walk me down the aisle.

Well to get to the point I put him in his place. I said the wedding would go ahead with or without him. Myself and my partner are paying for this wedding ourselves, so he couldn't throw that in my face. We later made up and forgot about the whole fight.

But he knows Iam in charge, this is my wedding and I will be doing it MY way. He knows he is not required to be there so for now he's on his best behaviour.
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Old 06-20-2013, 07:25 AM   #8
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My mother was the main drive for us not to have a wedding at WDW. She said that it was the BRIDE's responsibility to pay for all travel expenses for the family and guests for a destination wedding.
We are having a wedding and reception locally and she is not involved at all. We decided to have the wedding local and then have the honeymoon at Disney. I don't want all my friends and family at my honeymoon. Especially my mother!
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Old 06-23-2013, 04:46 PM   #9
Lauren Kaye
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My fiancee's family has not been particularly supportive of our engagement, and most of them thought it was a joke when we broke the news on Facebook. (Seriously? We've been dating for 5.5 years and you thought it was a JOKE?) It's been very frustrating because my side of the family is just ecstatic and super supportive of our engagement, whereas his side of the family seems to be taking the "if we don't acknowledge it, maybe it will go away" approach. DF's grandmother was cautiously supportive when we mentioned getting married at WDW, but his mother was incredulous. "You expect all of our family to fly to FL and pay for hotels and buy tickets to the parks just so they can see you get married?" (No, mom, no one has to buy park tickets. No one has to give Disney a dime. They can just fly in and stay off-property for a night or two.) "Are you going to pay for everyone's hotel?" (No, that's not feasible and no one would expect it, anyway.) "Well, you're not going to have anyone at your wedding. No one will go for it." (Whatever.)

I think, once we have our date and venues set, we're just going to have to sit down and have a talk with his mum and dad. Explain how much WDW means to us, how happy we are with our plans, and how much we would love their support. Good luck with your dad!
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:22 PM   #10
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We are invited to a destination wedding next week. The bride and groom are not paying for anything for us. We are going because they are good friends and will enjoy the company of the other guests. It is incorrect for parents to assume they will have to foot the bill for guests to attend a destination wedding.
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Old 06-24-2013, 08:29 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wwwosie View Post
We are invited to a destination wedding next week. The bride and groom are not paying for anything for us. We are going because they are good friends and will enjoy the company of the other guests. It is incorrect for parents to assume they will have to foot the bill for guests to attend a destination wedding.
Where are parents getting this idea?? I've never heard of such nonsense! Paying for your guests to attend a wedding? Really?? I think that perhaps you can expect far less of a gift (if you get one at all from some people) but to actually expect the bride and groom to pay?? What madness!
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Old 06-24-2013, 08:32 AM   #12
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The Bride and Groom told everyone: "your presence is our present"
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:07 PM   #13
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Hey Sam
I'm from the UK too and getting married on the Disney Magic (cruise ship) on the 2 weeks Transatlantic cruise next year.
We have given people the option of coming with us and using it as a holiday and a few of our guests are doing just that (one couple were looking for somewhere special for their 25th wedding anniversary anyway).

If people can't be happy for you, then they will miss out potentially. If people can't afford it, then there's no problem, but having an issue with a destination for no reason is crazy.

Why did your dad think it would be a 'cheap' wedding? As in suggesting if you wanted a cheap wedding, to go to a registry office? Having any Disney wedding is not cheap, espeically with the transatlantic flights that us Brits have to pay for.... definitely not cheap, but definitely lovely!

Remember that it's your wedding, nobody elses.
Have fun with the planning.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:54 PM   #14
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I think my dads theory about the 'cheap wedding' is that if we want a small wedding we can do it here for a fraction of the cost, he can't seem to get it into his mind that its not the cost (and like you say disney isn't cheap), its getting married somewhere that we want to and somewhere thats meaningful to us. me and df had a nice stroll along the luau beach in the morning before he proposed to me in front of the castle, so its somewhere we'd love to get married. i'm hoping he'll come around to the idea because i do want my parents there but i will just have to do it without him because this is what i have my heart set on!
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Old 06-28-2013, 01:31 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sam_rogers View Post
I think my dads theory about the 'cheap wedding' is that if we want a small wedding we can do it here for a fraction of the cost, he can't seem to get it into his mind that its not the cost (and like you say disney isn't cheap), its getting married somewhere that we want to and somewhere thats meaningful to us. me and df had a nice stroll along the luau beach in the morning before he proposed to me in front of the castle, so its somewhere we'd love to get married. i'm hoping he'll come around to the idea because i do want my parents there but i will just have to do it without him because this is what i have my heart set on!
I hope he comes round to the idea! We got engaged at Wdw this year and are pretty much set on getting married there. We really want a small causal day with our parents and brothers there like you.
We are from the uk too and Im really nervous about it telling ppl this is what we want to do. I just think they think the same as your dad, why do all that way. I know it's an expense for those coming out to the wedding but I think you just have to do what you want, it's your day!
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