No Buy ~ January 2013 edition

[JohnsonsLoveDisney]

I'm shooting for the rest of the week as no buy.

I'm not counting biz stuff in reg money since supplies are a must. I still need stuff for mk swap.

[dsneprincess]

You are all scaring me with the senior expenses & college cost talk. I need to up my 7th graders fund & enthusiasm for school. I really want to change schools for him, but the private school is $15k+ for 8th grade & I can't do that on top of my sky-high school/property taxes without me returning to work full time, which would also add a full time daycare bill, which I then couldn't afford. Following along?
I have been trying hard to make ds12 care about something other than video games & that school matters. Hard to be angry with great grades that require no effort out of him & withhold priviledges because I don't think you worked hard enough. His BFs family operates on 70 is a great grade & earns rewards & "we don't want to stress him out so he doesn't like school down the road" vibe & I am punishing 90+ because you didn't study & could've done better. I know this is totally off topic, but I needed the vent, especially because today was not a $0 day! Now with these expenses fresh in mind, I will have incentive to do better tomorrow. Of course, I need gas & DH let fall below 1/4, so probably $80-100 in gas depending on price at pump. Ugh!

[mommy2mrb]

Originally Posted by BernardandMissBianca

Guess it's a good thing DS16 will graduate with 21 college credits and all tolled it will cost me $250.
He's also decided to go to community college for a year or two because Johnson and Wales is $25,000 a year just for tuition.

Yes Lisa, start a 529 now!!!!

we started one when megan was little and have set aside a good portion of the life insurance for college and now that she will be going to private high school in 2014 will be covering that also....I do still put a good chunk away from our SS benefits each month to help cover the extras, dance, etc.

[PrincessNancy96]

Originally Posted by dsneprincess

You are all scaring me with the senior expenses & college cost talk. I need to up my 7th graders fund & enthusiasm for school. I really want to change schools for him, but the private school is $15k+ for 8th grade & I can't do that on top of my sky-high school/property taxes without me returning to work full time, which would also add a full time daycare bill, which I then couldn't afford. Following along?
I have been trying hard to make ds12 care about something other than video games & that school matters. Hard to be angry with great grades that require no effort out of him & withhold priviledges because I don't think you worked hard enough. His BFs family operates on 70 is a great grade & earns rewards & "we don't want to stress him out so he doesn't like school down the road" vibe & I am punishing 90+ because you didn't study & could've done better. I know this is totally off topic, but I needed the vent, especially because today was not a $0 day! Now with these expenses fresh in mind, I will have incentive to do better tomorrow. Of course, I need gas & DH let fall below 1/4, so probably $80-100 in gas depending on price at pump. Ugh!

No reason to be scared.. just plan ahead!!! Or at least plan the best you can..
The reason I did not return to work is for the same reason you expressed above.. my job would have literally covered day care costs.. there would have been no added income to the household budget..
As for your 12year old showing no interest but getting good grades.. I'm right there with you... My DS12 gets straight As and puts little effort into it.. I harp on him for anything lower than a B+ on work because I know he is capable for the work.. Now, if he does come home struggling, we sit down and re do the paper and I re-explain everything.. sometimes the light bulb goes on because the way I explained vs the way Mrs. X explained it, it made more sense to him.. My Ds12 is actually intersted in the military so we are looking for a junior cadet program in the area for him to start soon.. He will be starting 4H in Feb... but I understand totally where you are coming from...


Lisa, glad you all thought ahead.. so many don't... growing up comes so fast.. it's here before you even realize it...

[BernardandMissBianca]

Originally Posted by dsneprincess

You are all scaring me with the senior expenses & college cost talk. I need to up my 7th graders fund & enthusiasm for school. I really want to change schools for him, but the private school is $15k+ for 8th grade & I can't do that on top of my sky-high school/property taxes without me returning to work full time, which would also add a full time daycare bill, which I then couldn't afford. Following along?
I have been trying hard to make ds12 care about something other than video games & that school matters. Hard to be angry with great grades that require no effort out of him & withhold priviledges because I don't think you worked hard enough. His BFs family operates on 70 is a great grade & earns rewards & "we don't want to stress him out so he doesn't like school down the road" vibe & I am punishing 90+ because you didn't study & could've done better. I know this is totally off topic, but I needed the vent, especially because today was not a $0 day! Now with these expenses fresh in mind, I will have incentive to do better tomorrow. Of course, I need gas & DH let fall below 1/4, so probably $80-100 in gas depending on price at pump. Ugh!

Look at it as prepared instead of scared. We are preparing you.
And yeah, I'm with you too with the 12 year old, they think they know it all!!
Video game rules are as followed, none during the week, I mean none. They can play from after homework is done Friday until 2 pm Sunday.
And start the conversation now, mom and dad do not have 25,000 for school so you have 2 choices good grades and scholarships or pay for it yourself.

Hang in there!!! I hear you on the pump too. Does your grocery store have a gas points system? I know Kroger and Stop and Shop do.

Originally Posted by mommy2mrb

we started one when megan was little and have set aside a good portion of the life insurance for college and now that she will be going to private high school in 2014 will be covering that also....I do still put a good chunk away from our SS benefits each month to help cover the extras, dance, etc.

Will her SS go til she's 21 if she goes to college? I think DH got his until he was 18.

Originally Posted by PrincessNancy96

No reason to be scared.. just plan ahead!!! Or at least plan the best you can..
The reason I did not return to work is for the same reason you expressed above.. my job would have literally covered day care costs.. there would have been no added income to the household budget..
As for your 12year old showing no interest but getting good grades.. I'm right there with you... My DS12 gets straight As and puts little effort into it.. I harp on him for anything lower than a B+ on work because I know he is capable for the work.. Now, if he does come home struggling, we sit down and re do the paper and I re-explain everything.. sometimes the light bulb goes on because the way I explained vs the way Mrs. X explained it, it made more sense to him.. My Ds12 is actually intersted in the military so we are looking for a junior cadet program in the area for him to start soon.. He will be starting 4H in Feb... but I understand totally where you are coming from...


Lisa, glad you all thought ahead.. so many don't... growing up comes so fast.. it's here before you even realize it...

Oh, no!! No military!!! I need to have a chat with that boy!

[wdwmickey]

Rachel will be attending a state school and her room & board costs are over $5,000 per semester Sarah's are 1/2 of that. The schools in Colorado have agreed and the room & board cost is within $50 no matter which college you attend.

[JJ&JHsmom]

Yes, the costs of senior year can seem overwhelming, but once you have gone through it once you can plan for it in the future. Or you can learn from all our experiences. Talk with your child's guidance counseler from the beginning to get an idea of what your school offers for seniors and the costs. It can change from year to year but knowing a ballpark is better than being struck with all the costs unknown.

College costs are so different from public versus private and state to state. I know room and board for Josh for last year was 14,000+, I am happy he had the experience but am glad not to have to be paying that this year also.

[morgansmom2000]

For public schools here, the cost is almost $25,000 for tuition room and board. My DNephew goes to a state school here and it's that much a year. When I graduated nearly 20 years ago, state schools were under $10,000 for all. Private school tuition room and board will be well over $60,000/year when it comes time to send Morgan to school.

[dsneprincess]

I am glad to know that everyone with 12 year old boys seem to be in the same situation with the video games. It is a daily battle here that the ds &/or ipod do NOT go to school....still not sure why they are allowed at lunch, but they are & the kids get no recess. It is not the "norm" for our area, but not much about our school district is. I am the "meanie" who says no video games during school week & limits time on weekends too. I am going to implement the 2pm Sunday rule; I will be popular this weekend.
DS12 is my oldest, so flying blind. Another question about grades, if you don't mind. When you look at grade for class, is it solely number or does nature of assignment matter? This semester lowest grade in 2 classes, really pulling overall grade down is a "coloring/drawing" project part. All of the written examples are correct, but coloring/drawing doesn't look like what it should. So test is 100, coloring project 80 makes average 90.
I appreciate all the advice & guidance. You all seem to be on top of things with your kids. I do not find that to be true in my "real" life. I have been told "I cannot, & frankly do not want to even try, to keep track of what my kids do online. Between the itouch, iphone, ipad & computer it would be too much." Somedays I feel like I am crazy, but I do not want to end up blindsided by trouble. There is way too much out there, kwim? Thanks in advance & sorry for long post. I got carried away, but editted out a ton! LOL!

[morgansmom2000]

I'm into everything my daughter does online. She asked to join Instagram last night. I'm already regretting the decision to let her do it. One of her 12-year old friends is posting "OMFG." I mean, it's not like she doesn't hear it at school (and possibly at home once in a very great while too, my dad was a truck driver), but on Instagram? Caitlin's saying that on Instagram? Imagine what she's saying in "real" life?

As for grades, Morgan doesn't get paid to do well in school. She's a smart girl, she knows what she needs to do to get good grades, I'm not "paying" her to do her school work. That's not to say that she doesn't get rewarded in other ways and it's just my philosophy, but I don't agree with paying for grades. I can see the use of positive reinforcement if perhaps a kid brought a grade up, but not for just doing your school work. Just my humble opinion, of course.

[tyniknate]

Originally Posted by dsneprincess

You are all scaring me with the senior expenses & college cost talk. I need to up my 7th graders fund & enthusiasm for school. I really want to change schools for him, but the private school is $15k+ for 8th grade & I can't do that on top of my sky-high school/property taxes without me returning to work full time, which would also add a full time daycare bill, which I then couldn't afford. Following along?
I have been trying hard to make ds12 care about something other than video games & that school matters. Hard to be angry with great grades that require no effort out of him & withhold priviledges because I don't think you worked hard enough. His BFs family operates on 70 is a great grade & earns rewards & "we don't want to stress him out so he doesn't like school down the road" vibe & I am punishing 90+ because you didn't study & could've done better. I know this is totally off topic, but I needed the vent, especially because today was not a $0 day! Now with these expenses fresh in mind, I will have incentive to do better tomorrow. Of course, I need gas & DH let fall below 1/4, so probably $80-100 in gas depending on price at pump. Ugh!

My oldest DS was the same way. Everything came easily to him and so he formed NO STUDY HABITS. That was great until junior and senior year when he took the AP classes that were actually a challenge and needed to put in the effort, but didn't know how. If I can stress one thing, make him learn good study & organization habits now so it doesn't come back to bite him when the grades REALLY count. Junior year was very stressful for both of us!

[PrincessNancy96]

What works in our home:
I do not pay for grades here either.... never have; never will... I do check grades every week and will get on them for bad ones.. I know things happen... I can not check my college kids grade, but we ask them to send them home once a month... DD is very good about it.. I get on her and remind her she is paying for these classes don't throw your money out the door!
As for grades it depends on the assignment... coloring is not something I care about... it's the written material/reading material I feel is more important.. I will discuss the coloring issue but nothing more... He is currenlty working on a project now and the one kid he is working with told the other 2 he was going to copy and paste his portion from the net.. I emailed the teacher and gave her the heads up. She emailed me back and said she would be addressing that again because the other parent in the group emailed her too.
But I agree good study skills and organization are a must... We have homework time immediately afterschool.. it's still fresh in their mind then... it also allows us to get everything done before evening activities. I still do it with my high schooler... much to his dismay.. They study at the kitchen table away from the TV... and I do not stand over top of them.. I go do my thing and if they need me they come find me.. I review with my DS12 but don't do the assignments with him for for him. DS16 usually does his homework in his room and comes out for help.. He has been doing really well with this practice.
DD said when in college she waited...and lost some of the info in her head because she waited to long... now she tries to do her homework right after class or that evening...and reviews before the next class... she said it was easier when I would remind her! LOL Nope, sweetie you are in college..it's on you.. I have to hope the tools I taught you-you will utilize....

Online I have all access in this house... and I'm friends w/ my kids (DD and DS16) on FB.. we do not allow instagram... my kids and myself barely post on FB. My kids also have twitter and I have access to it...and they barely post on it either... but I can see things and will discuss if it's sketchy.. But with DD in college I just remind her of how she was raised...DS12 does NOT have FB, twitter, or any of the like. I do allow him to take his Ipod to school on Friday (they get 20 minutes free at the end of the day)... My DH and I hope that how we raised our kids extends into their common sense online.. and I remind my kids... if you post something online....is it something your grandparents are going to be upset with you for??? if so, you might rethink that posting... or will I go batsnot crazy when I read it?????

[wdwmickey]

I'm aiming for no buy for today and tomorrow.

[dsneprincess]

That's for all the common sense advice. I am off to the zoo with ds#2, should count as no buy as pass is already paid for! Sunny January day must be taken advantage of! DH & I are on same page as everyone here, but it is a full time job that our friends don't seem to see it as. I'm going to keep using you as a sounding board!!

[PrincessNancy96]

Originally Posted by dsneprincess

That's for all the common sense advice. I am off to the zoo with ds#2, should count as no buy as pass is already paid for! Sunny January day must be taken advantage of! DH & I are on same page as everyone here, but it is a full time job that our friends don't seem to see it as. I'm going to keep using you as a sounding board!!

The zoo... yup, if you have a membership, it's a no buy!! I love our membership!!!! I love the zoo...

You and your DH are on the same page and want the same things for you kids.. then run with it.. don't let others tell you any different...

Please feel free to use us as a sounding board... we may not always agree but most of the time we do... and our cozy little corner respects everyone's decisions! That's why I love these girls!!! We all work so well together!

Have fun at the zoo.. We are taking dd out for lunch w/ a gift card so it's still a NO buy day!!!