10-12-2012, 02:09 PM
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 439
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I don't want to go to Disney World........
I don't want to go to Disney World.. I don't even know why I wanted to go in the first place. I just feel like my past has just disappeared and I was put here on earth yesterday. I feel like an object and feel like crap every day. I don't understand everything any more. I am always in a bad mood and feel like I've ruined my reputation somehow.
I can't even walk around the stupid block w/o feeling like i'm going to die from a heart attack. I was in sooo much pain it was unbareable and it was only from walking around the block down and uphill. My head is empty 24 and I don't know what to do with my self. I can't work because I can't concentrate any more. I forget things and I just get aggravated on the smallest thing. I feel everything on my body. I can feel my *** 24/7 and it hurts. My mom gets me annoyed cuz she just doesn't understand me. and what i am going through. I just feel like there's no one nice on this earth because everybody treats me like crap, in elementary school, hs and even college. I feel different from everyone. I just don't want to live any more and I certainly don't want to go to Disney world because I don't know what fun is any more. I don't feel present. i feel like an object, "i'm just here," i can look at the wall all day and don't care.
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10-12-2012, 02:38 PM
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Cape Cod, MA
Posts: 7,383
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Quote:
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ME
 DH37 DD7 DS2 May 1 - May 8 2010 BWV Trip Report http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2466128 Dec 2 - Dec 12 2010 ASMo and Marriott Harbour Lake Pre-Trip Report http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2503063 Oct 2011 - F&W AKL and BCV May 2012 - HGVC SeaWorld |
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10-12-2012, 04:10 PM
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#3 |
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 439
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Its hard because my mom just blames all the aches and pains on me being over weight and she doesn't think medication ever helps. It's sad and irritates me into being sooooo freaking angry it's not even funny any more.
 All she says is "take advil" it does nothing for me. I took over 6 advils yesterday and it does absolutely nothing. I have nothing in my head. Every time I get an idea my mom puts me down like i can't take a laptop to wdw ebcause she says it will get stolen from our room. she drives me insane but i don't know how to live on my own. i have no friends nobody. My mind is black like I don't even have a brain any more like it's empty all the time. i don't like anything any more because stupid people/companies and have to change things. I don't adjust to change easiuly as the next person, i get attach to something and if it changes I go balistic cuz it's extremely hard to find something i like. like it doesn't exist. Happiness doesn't exist any more. My mom used to be my favorite person in the world but now she is just a big pain in the butt
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Last edited by Luv0fDisney; 10-12-2012 at 04:18 PM. |
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10-12-2012, 04:33 PM
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Montreal (Quebec) Canada
Posts: 366
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Quote:
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OKW & HHI DVC owner
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10-12-2012, 06:54 PM
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#5 |
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Sometimes I just like to be plain and boring
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: usa
Posts: 4,021
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I'm so sorry you are in so much pain.
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10-13-2012, 02:32 PM
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#6 |
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: between Chambersburg and Gettysburg, PA
Posts: 2,817
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I wish I could come along side you and tell you everything will be ok. Your first step should be to pick up the phone and make an appointment with a doctor who has not seen you before. Ask your physician for a referral if you have to. Sometimes getting a whole new "eye" on a health problem can get better results. My dh would have died if that had not happened for him. The doctor was treating him for a lung problem when actually he had Lyme Disease and an autoimmune disease. Just remember you do not need to walk this path alone. If nowhere else, please stay in touch here.
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10-14-2012, 01:18 PM
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Has a sweetie who is Furbilicious 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 18,327
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I think you should seek some professional help. I am sorry you are going through so much, but there is help fore everyone. Sometimes it is the people closest to us, that don't understand what we are going through.. Have you seen another Dr? Perhaps 2nd or 3rd opinions? I went through so much pain a few years ago, and 2 Dr's told me there was nothing, it was in my head. As it turns out, it was far from that. I knew I wasn't crazy, and kept working at it. You are not alone.
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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
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10-14-2012, 09:00 PM
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#8 |
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One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation. Right at the start of anything that's new, one little spark lights up for you.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: South, MS.
Posts: 390
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I will pray for you and pease get help if you need a friend you can direct message me your contact info, if u need someone to listen to u let me know.
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August - 2006 - POP
December - 2006 - FW August - 2009 - ASM July - 2010 - POP June - 2011 - POP *Plus Three Times Off Site, before I knew better. My Disney Blog http://www.interplantarypodcast.blogspot.com T    |
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10-15-2012, 12:53 PM
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#9 |
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Has a sweetie who is Furbilicious
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 18,327
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Just wondering how you were doing OP..
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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
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10-15-2012, 01:45 PM
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 439
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Quote:
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10-15-2012, 02:10 PM
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#11 |
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DIS Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: between Chambersburg and Gettysburg, PA
Posts: 2,817
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Check back in with us after the doctor appointment. I'm hoping for some answers for you.
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10-15-2012, 02:29 PM
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#12 |
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One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation. Right at the start of anything that's new, one little spark lights up for you.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: South, MS.
Posts: 390
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I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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August - 2006 - POP
December - 2006 - FW August - 2009 - ASM July - 2010 - POP June - 2011 - POP *Plus Three Times Off Site, before I knew better. My Disney Blog http://www.interplantarypodcast.blogspot.com T |
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10-15-2012, 07:25 PM
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#13 | |
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Has a sweetie who is Furbilicious
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 18,327
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Quote:
I hope it goes well, and like others have mentioned, We are just a message away if you need to lean on a shoulder. 
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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
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10-15-2012, 11:26 PM
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#14 |
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"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 7,318
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Good luck at the appointment tomorrow.
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Ace, Me, and the Guy with CP - 1st TR Happy Birthday Bill 6/08 Introducing Amy to "Walt's World" 10/08 Where everybody knows Bill's name 11/08 Does this mean we aren't going to the mountains? 11/09 Birthdays, surprises, Magic & Merriment 12/10 An Imagineer fell for Bill 5/11 Bill and Tracy’s Kinda Excellent Adventure!! Dec. 2011 It's the Little Moments that Count!! -5/12  Justice for Travis |
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10-16-2012, 10:32 AM
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#15 |
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Mouseketeer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 439
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everything seems unusually bright. I have no thoughts in my head and I just want to die.
i went to the dr's appointment and cuz the dr didn't agree with my mom, my mom called him an idiot on the way home. OMFG. He said he knew a lot of people who are over weight and happy. I'm not one of those happy people. i just feel like i'm wasting my life away. i feel stiff all the time. I weighted 256 with my clothes and crocs on which means i might be 253/254 w/o the crocs. i was like in the 60's a few weeks ago i had blood work done a month ago, there might be something with the thyroid. but i honestly don't think it will show anything with my luck. i just feel like i'm not a person but an object.
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