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Old 11-30-2011, 01:27 AM   #16
funkychunkymonkey
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I am alergic to seafood. Even if someone ate it and touches me I react (think bloody gross rash and swelling). I ask people to scrub well but have never asked anyone not to eat seafood (except my boyfreind, but thats another issue)
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:18 PM   #17
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It depends

I know it seems like an excessive request but it depends on your family, really. Remember the little girl is only four, and may forget not to take food offered her by someone who doesn't get her allergies.

Relatives, especially older ones, don't know not to put their hands all over the cute little 4 year old without washing hands first. Relatives love to hug, kiss pinch cheeks,and offer foods off their plates, cookies etc.

Even if she only breaks out in hives that's still no fun for anyone. Mom and dad will have to keep the wipes at hand to wash little one down to make sure the peanut protein doesn't get from hands or face into her mouth (little ones are always touching their faces and mouths). Even if she just gets miserable,itchy hives, the party is still over, because having to give Benadryl means it's time to get the little one home to sleep it off.

Not being able to let your kid play with the other kids at the family gathering without asking them to wash their hands first is also awkward.

Large family gatherings can be stressful in this way, and it can be awkward to spend your whole day or evening running around saying don't touch my child, don't offer her anything to eat without checking with me.

It's especially hard because even with family there will be at least one someone who thinks you are overreacting and ignore the parents attempts to keep the little one safe.

Even if you get it and are vigilant and careful, not all your relatives will understand. It really depends on if you want the little girl and her parents to have a good time, or of you want them to be on pins and needles and having awkward discussions all evening.

I know it may seem over the top to you, but sending an email in advance helps the parents start communicating with family early, and just increases their chance of being able to attend without incident.

It sucks not being able to let your kids just go off and play with the other kids or say hello to aunts, uncles, or grandparents without cringing every time someone goes to touch your child.

Sounds like you did a great job planning, but her parents have more experience and see dangers you don't. When the little one is older, it gets better. Your niece will remember each and every time to not take food offered without knowing it's safe, will remember to keeps hands away from their mouth after hugs and greetings until she can go wash up, etc.

Preschoolers need extra protection, though.
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:07 PM   #18
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I have no experience in this at all, but to play Devil's Advocate, imagine you were your niece's mom. Everyone wants you to come for the gathering! Oh but they don't know how stressful it is being in public with all the potential peanut cross contamination! At home and school and their favorite hand-picked restaurant, they have the risks minimized. But now we want to get together in Vegas, with buffets (more cross contamination) for multiple meals. How to control the peanut contamination? I know, we can reduce the risk if at least our family members who will be sitting around neice haven't been exposed to peanut products. They want us to come and they really want the party in Vegas, so they won't mind helping us out, right?
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Old 07-19-2012, 05:06 PM   #19
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The parents are in the middle of a knee-jerk reaction to the allergy - it will take them some time to regain their common sense. Glad you got your Thai meal, (yum! I love Thai food!) and you took the necessary precautions to keep your niece safe. That's all you really have to do.
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Old 10-06-2012, 12:57 AM   #20
Mayashappyplace
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Like DISFAN07 said, it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that you not kiss her because the peanut protein could be in your saliva after eating a thai meal, as it is DEFINTELY not just peanut oil in thai food, it is used VERY abundantly.

I have lived with the peanut allergy all my life and I am now 32. Abstaining from peanuts during the entire trip is not an unreasonable request, especially if you planned on kissing her cheek or even holding her hand (your sweat can even cause a reaction after a peanut meal since your sweat glands do emit proteins). The fact that she is four makes her very VERY vulnerable and likely to go hugging and kissing everyone without a second thought. The parents are taking every precaution because they have seen firsthand the reactivity of what even a tiny protein can do.

I'm one of those people who can't even inhale peanuts or stir-frying Thai food or peanut dishes as the molecules do become airborne and I have to be quarantined for 'no peanuts served' on planes two rows in front of me and two rows in back of me.

I started my own website for people with peanut/soy and/or tree-nut allergies (I have all three). Please tell your family about it and realize there is alot of fear and anxiety involved with living with this allergy....I know my parents went through it and now, as an adult, I have to be my own best advocate. If I don't, I suffer the consequences...nobody else. So please know that the craziness is usually for good reason.

I don't go places that are ever serving peanuts or tofu, which both give me anaphylactic shock. The parents are definitely concerned about anyone touching or kissing her, so if you can 100% avoid that, wash your hands very thoroughly afterwards, while also being careful not to speak close by to her (I know this sounds crazy but as even your saliva while speaking landing on her face may cause a reaction) then she will be fine if you eat at the restaurant.

I hope this helps...and by the way, my site is mayashappyplace.com

PS - Just saw how it went and I am so glad she is ok and all is well =)

Last edited by Mayashappyplace; 10-06-2012 at 01:10 AM.
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