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Old 09-08-2011, 11:28 AM   #1516
BLTLDZ
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I am so happy that I happened upon this thread....I have posted on it awhile back, and could really use some guidance!
I am 31, DH is 35..ALL of our friends have offspring.....I am so torn!!!
I also feel like I am "running out of time", not to sound cliche!!

IF we are having any, I would like to have one sooner than later, BUT I am still feeling somewhat selfish, and really not wanting to give up the freedom...Yet on the other hand, I get the urge sometimes...But the whole delviery thing scares the CRAP out of me!!

DH is self employed, and works from home a lot....I am a social butterfly, so it doesn't really bother me when he works nights and such, because I always have something to keep me occupied...I'm afraid that having a baby may cause me to resent him Like I would be doing everything, NOT that he wouldn't help, because he's great BUT because he wants me to stay at home and raise the baby...We both always say that we arent having any UNLESS I can stay home with them...just our feelings. I don't want to have a baby so Grandma or daycare can raise him/her. NOT KNOCKING anybody's choices, but that's just not for us, and I think we are being SMART about it instead of taking an "take it as it comes" approach. We want to be as Hnds on as possible. (Sure we say that now! )
I dunno....like I said, we are both on the fence..... TMI
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:43 PM   #1517
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Originally Posted by BLTLDZ View Post
I am 31, DH is 35..ALL of our friends have offspring.....I am so torn!!!
I also feel like I am "running out of time", not to sound cliche!!

IF we are having any, I would like to have one sooner than later, BUT I am still feeling somewhat selfish, and really not wanting to give up the freedom...Yet on the other hand, I get the urge sometimes...But the whole delviery thing scares the CRAP out of me!!

DH is self employed, and works from home a lot....I am a social butterfly, so it doesn't really bother me when he works nights and such, because I always have something to keep me occupied...I'm afraid that having a baby may cause me to resent him Like I would be doing everything, NOT that he wouldn't help, because he's great BUT because he wants me to stay at home and raise the baby...We both always say that we arent having any UNLESS I can stay home with them...just our feelings. I don't want to have a baby so Grandma or daycare can raise him/her. NOT KNOCKING anybody's choices, but that's just not for us, and I think we are being SMART about it instead of taking an "take it as it comes" approach. We want to be as Hnds on as possible. (Sure we say that now! )
I dunno....like I said, we are both on the fence..... TMI
I feel your pain. I'm there with you - If we were to have a child one of us would have to be a stay at home parent as well and there's no way right now that we could do that.

And I really like my world as it is right now. We've got a four legged boy who needs a lot of attention (he wasn't in the greatest place before we got him, spooks easily, but now he's a spoiled bugger) but people expect us to leave him home when we travel, unlike the looks we would get if we left a chid with gramma or somebody to travel.
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:08 PM   #1518
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Originally Posted by BLTLDZ View Post
I am so happy that I happened upon this thread....I have posted on it awhile back, and could really use some guidance!
I am 31, DH is 35..ALL of our friends have offspring.....I am so torn!!!
I also feel like I am "running out of time", not to sound cliche!!

IF we are having any, I would like to have one sooner than later, BUT I am still feeling somewhat selfish, and really not wanting to give up the freedom...Yet on the other hand, I get the urge sometimes...But the whole delviery thing scares the CRAP out of me!!

DH is self employed, and works from home a lot....I am a social butterfly, so it doesn't really bother me when he works nights and such, because I always have something to keep me occupied...I'm afraid that having a baby may cause me to resent him Like I would be doing everything, NOT that he wouldn't help, because he's great BUT because he wants me to stay at home and raise the baby...We both always say that we arent having any UNLESS I can stay home with them...just our feelings. I don't want to have a baby so Grandma or daycare can raise him/her. NOT KNOCKING anybody's choices, but that's just not for us, and I think we are being SMART about it instead of taking an "take it as it comes" approach. We want to be as Hnds on as possible. (Sure we say that now! )
I dunno....like I said, we are both on the fence..... TMI

Running out of time? IDK I didn't have my first until I was 38. Then had another at 39. Another at 41. And the last at almost 44. All conceived without any kind of assistance. All easy and straight-forward pregnancies/labors and deliveries.

I had a full life before my kids....the career....the social life....the travel. It was great. But at some point it got kind of old and I was ready to experience something different. I have a full life now too. It's just a different kind of full. I traded in the career to be a sahm. Traded in the social life for a family life. We still travel but tend to go to Epcot rather than Europe. It's still great. Absolutely no regrets. I feel like I've been able to experience the best of both worlds.

My point? Stop worrying. Don't rush it. Be mindful of the so-called statistics but don't let them rule your decisions. If you do it, do it when you know it's right for you.


ETA: I know this is for child-free couples so sorry to intrude. Just wanted to address this particular poster's concerns. Play on!
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Old 09-08-2011, 01:21 PM   #1519
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Originally Posted by sewmess View Post


I feel your pain. I'm there with you - If we were to have a child one of us would have to be a stay at home parent as well and there's no way right now that we could do that.

And I really like my world as it is right now. We've got a four legged boy who needs a lot of attention (he wasn't in the greatest place before we got him, spooks easily, but now he's a spoiled bugger) but people expect us to leave him home when we travel, unlike the looks we would get if we left a chid with gramma or somebody to travel.
Hi
Thanks for the support!
what are your trip dates? We are there from the 16th-24th....

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Running out of time? IDK I didn't have my first until I was 38. Then had another at 39. Another at 41. And the last at almost 44. All conceived without any kind of assistance. All easy and straight-forward pregnancies/labors and deliveries.

I had a full life before my kids....the career....the social life....the travel. It was great. But at some point it got kind of old and I was ready to experience something different. I have a full life now too. It's just a different kind of full. I traded in the career to be a sahm. Traded in the social life for a family life. We still travel but tend to go to Epcot rather than Europe. It's still great. Absolutely no regrets. I feel like I've been able to experience the best of both worlds.

My point? Stop worrying. Don't rush it. Be mindful of the so-called statistics but don't let them rule your decisions. If you do it, do it when you know it's right for you.


ETA: I know this is for child-free couples so sorry to intrude. Just wanted to address this particular poster's concerns. Play on!
Thank you for your wise / kind words!! You have made me feel better
It definitely isn't right for me now then...
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Old 09-10-2011, 12:50 PM   #1520
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DH found this the other day.... think I need yet some more stickers for my car.



I've always wanted one w/the two of us 3 cats & a dog, but now I'm thinking this is better!

What are folks up to this weekend? We have a free Blues festival in town tonight. Should be fun, the Couples w/out Kids group is doing it as a meetup.
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Old 09-10-2011, 04:44 PM   #1521
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Hi
Thanks for the support!
what are your trip dates? We are there from the 16th-24th....
Oct 16th - 24th. spooky

-and I'm kind of liking the mind set of pacrosby - My mom was 40 when I was born. I think older parents are not only cool, but normal.
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Old 09-10-2011, 04:47 PM   #1522
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What are folks up to this weekend? We have a free Blues festival in town tonight. Should be fun, the Couples w/out Kids group is doing it as a meetup.
I'm working now, but later it will be football. And then tomorrow it will be football. I'm kind of a football widow (I'm not complaining though; I enjoy the game well enough & I can participate without actually paying close attention, meaning I can surf the web, sew {as the name suggests} or -if DH is too intense and freaking out the dog, take the dog for a walk.)
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Old 09-10-2011, 06:54 PM   #1523
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Originally Posted by zima-cheryl View Post
DH found this the other day.... think I need yet some more stickers for my car.



I've always wanted one w/the two of us 3 cats & a dog, but now I'm thinking this is better!

What are folks up to this weekend? We have a free Blues festival in town tonight. Should be fun, the Couples w/out Kids group is doing it as a meetup.
That is hilarious! However, I don't think it would have quite the same impact with two women stick figures standing next to the money bags.

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Hi
Thanks for the support!
what are your trip dates? We are there from the 16th-24th....
You leave the day before we arrive in Florida!
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Old 09-10-2011, 09:17 PM   #1524
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Oct 16th - 24th. spooky

-and I'm kind of liking the mind set of pacrosby - My mom was 40 when I was born. I think older parents are not only cool, but normal.
That is funny
My mom was 32 when she had me...I was her fifth child though!!!
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Old 09-10-2011, 09:36 PM   #1525
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That is funny
My mom was 32 when she had me...I was her fifth child though!!!
So I see you're DVC members....I'm guessing you own at BLT????
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Old 09-10-2011, 10:14 PM   #1526
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So I see you're DVC members....I'm guessing you own at BLT????
Now, however did you figure that one out??
Seriously, when I first joined the dis, I had a way too obvious screen name...So I changed it. But now I have our picture up...so, I changed the name because???
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:37 AM   #1527
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Originally Posted by zima-cheryl View Post
DH found this the other day.... think I need yet some more stickers for my car.



I've always wanted one w/the two of us 3 cats & a dog, but now I'm thinking this is better!

What are folks up to this weekend? We have a free Blues festival in town tonight. Should be fun, the Couples w/out Kids group is doing it as a meetup.
I have been gone for awhile but I have to tell you that we love this! I need this on my car!
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Old 09-11-2011, 04:55 PM   #1528
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Awwww man......I am so feeling not part of the group anymore!!!!! We are "childfree" but that is because our kids are all grown up, not because we chose to not have any. We are like the folks on the Disney commercials from years ago who finally get to go back to WDW and do all the things WE want to do without our kids! Its an amazing, totally different experience and honestly, it makes us appreciate so much having our kids when we were younger.

We're headed back down on 11/26-12/2 with a split stay at AKL and WL. Anyone else going during that time? We'd love to extend the trip but the rooms are not discounted at all right now. We're using some DVC points from a friend and due to some miscommunications and "family" drama, we weren't really able to maximize the points at all so if you all know anyone looking to sell some points please let me know!
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Old 09-11-2011, 05:33 PM   #1529
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HAHA That picture made me bust out loud when I first saw it too - I love xkcd.com

I've been reading this thread for a while but don't think I posted before. After 12 years together and absolutely no wavering on the "no kids" outlook my immediate family has finally accepted our choice. I just know our temperaments don't lend to having children and other than the momentary "someone had a baby and we're visiting - let me hold him/her - you're a natural" occasions we don't have a drive to have any.

I simply deflect everyone else with a "when the economy is better and we're stable" - no one seems to argue much against that and it moves the subject along.

We frequently travel for anime conventions (I sell hand made buttons) and it's always enough fuss finding someone to care for the cat - who is pretty self sufficient to begin with (just really social for a cat).

We've been to WDW twice now together (3 times myself) and are happily planning the next one. If anyone is interested in my last TR it's on my blog: http://www.disjointedimages.com/frzn_blog/
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Old 09-14-2011, 02:12 PM   #1530
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HAHA That picture made me bust out loud when I first saw it too - I love xkcd.com

I've been reading this thread for a while but don't think I posted before. After 12 years together and absolutely no wavering on the "no kids" outlook my immediate family has finally accepted our choice. I just know our temperaments don't lend to having children and other than the momentary "someone had a baby and we're visiting - let me hold him/her - you're a natural" occasions we don't have a drive to have any.

I simply deflect everyone else with a "when the economy is better and we're stable" - no one seems to argue much against that and it moves the subject along.

We frequently travel for anime conventions (I sell hand made buttons) and it's always enough fuss finding someone to care for the cat - who is pretty self sufficient to begin with (just really social for a cat).

We've been to WDW twice now together (3 times myself) and are happily planning the next one. If anyone is interested in my last TR it's on my blog: http://www.disjointedimages.com/frzn_blog/
I just wanted to say love your blog!
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