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Old 09-28-2009, 07:23 AM   #1
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PreK and Kindergarten - when to hold your child back?

Two questions:

1.) Should I hold my kid back from attending Pre K or K if they are not 100% potty trained?

2.) Do children with birthdays early in the year (Jan, Feb, March) have an advantage over children with birthdays in the last 3-5 months of the year when it comes to school? And has anyone held their child back from Kindergarten in order for them to be academically matched or on par with the other kids?

I'm all new to this stuff.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:48 AM   #2
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1. everywhere we've lived (and i've taught) kids could'nt attend so much as preschool let alone pre k or k unless they were already 100% potty trained (state law) so it was'nt an issue of parent making the decision.

2. i had dd do what was called 'e-k' before she did kindergarten even though age wise she could have gone into k. reason was the expectations for the k she was going to attend were more than i thought she was ready for (and a bit much for a 5 year old imho). worked out very well, she ended up being a very strong kindergartener and now highschool student.

i don't know how much of an advantage or disadvantage a bday plays into these things-i think it depends on the individual child (academics, social maturity even more in the early grades). i've known kids who started k as older 4's who were doing just as well as the full blown 5 year olds but that may be because the state we lived in (and the private school my kids attended) when my kids were that age (and when i taught that age) did'nt permit kids who were'nt either already 5 or would be within i want to say 2 months of the begining of the school year to be enrolled. i've known folks in other states/other schools that permitted much younger 4 year olds to be admitted and depending on the kid/make up of the class it could be a challenging dynamic (big difference socialy between even a mid range 4 year old with well over 6 year old classmates-which can be the norm depending where you live).
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:56 AM   #3
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I had a school try to tell me my kid couldn't go to school till they were 100% potty trained. I get that a private school can say that, but a public school can't. There are a ton of kids out there who have incontinence and bladder issues. It's laughable to say that my SEVEN year old shouldn't be in school yet till she works it all out (and yes, she was under a dr's care, but she medical issues- you do what you can). We ended up having to do a medical plan for her.

BTW, if you are going to hold a kid back, I think to do preK twice is better.

Yes, I think there is a HUGE advantage to being one of the middle or older kids in the class, than to be one of the younger kids. To me, if your birthday is within 3 months of the cutoff you might want to consider sending the kid a year later. Every kid is different though!
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:02 AM   #4
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Its sounds like in your heart you think it would be better for your child to be held back. A year sometimes can make a big difference to a child. If your child is born in the last month or two of the school year and you think they would benefit from an extra year I would stay in pre K and not let the school test till the next year. I'd give my child every advantage I could.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:16 AM   #5
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My child had a Sept. 30th birthday....does anyone have an opinion as to whether I should hold her back or not?
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:21 AM   #6
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My son has a Dec birthday, and in our district he couldn't start K until he was actually 5 years old (Sept 1 cut off)....so he started this year (he will be turning 6 in Dec). Any friends of my who are teachers said it is better for kids when they are older when they start. So by my districts standards you child could not start yet.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:21 AM   #7
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is your prek full time or half days? if its half days (and they are potty trained) I'd send them see how they do.. ask the teacher for their opinion on weather or not to send them to K the year after.. if not you could always to prek again.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:30 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Disney fan View Post
Two questions:

1.) Should I hold my kid back from attending Pre K or K if they are not 100% potty trained?

2.) Do children with birthdays early in the year (Jan, Feb, March) have an advantage over children with birthdays in the last 3-5 months of the year when it comes to school? And has anyone held their child back from Kindergarten in order for them to be academically matched or on par with the other kids?

I'm all new to this stuff.
1) I would hold back a kid that was not potty trained. Honestly, I do not know of a Pre-K program that would accept a child that is not 100% potty trained.
What are the rules for this program?

2) My oldest dd (who is a freshman in college this yr) has an April b-day.
My youngest is in 7th grade and has a Sept. b-day.

My oldest would have done better if she was held back. She did struggle a bit with maturity and academics.

So it is really a individual basis. If you think your kid needs to be held back, trust your instincts.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:46 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Disney fan View Post
My child had a Sept. 30th birthday....does anyone have an opinion as to whether I should hold her back or not?
My daughter's birthday is October 14th and I waited a year to put her in Kindergarten. My thought process was that I would rather her be a little bit ahead, than a little bit behind. Kids that start school too early, and have a harder time socially or academically can take a blow to there self esteem and that can stick with them through out their school career. I wanted my daughter to love school, so I wanted her to be as ready as possible.
There are lot's of kids with birthdays early in the year who are more than ready for Kindergarten, and who do as well or better than their peers. I think it's a personal choice, but just make sure your making it for the right reasons. I know some parents who put their kids in school for lot's of reasons that have more to do with them then the child.
If your son is still struggling with potty training it might be best to wait another year.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:49 AM   #10
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My daughter's birthday is October 14th and I waited a year to put her in Kindergarten. .
What age did she begin Kindergarten? 5 going on 6?
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:54 AM   #11
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Our disctrict the kindergarten cut-off is Sept 1 (DD is Nov), but a few towns away is Dec 31 and we could send her there though a school-choice program.

After asking around we decided to wait until DD is 5 years old (hence an extra year of preschool). Many people said the kids may be ready now for kindergarten, but in middle school and high school older kids tend to have an advantage (academics, athletics, socially).

I also don't want her starting college at 17!
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:57 AM   #12
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We only have private preschools here, and most require the child to be potty trained. Most people send their children to preschool for 2 years before starting kindergarten. I think you would have to have a documented medical problem in order to send a child to kindergarten not potty trained - I know when I was doing my special education student teaching, not all of the kids were trained, but it was not an inclusive classroom (children with downs syndrome). How old is your child?
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Old 09-28-2009, 09:01 AM   #13
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I don't have kids yet, but I will tell you my experience.

My birthday was in August, so I just made it in before the September 1 cutoff in our area. So I started 3 year old preschool (half days 3 days a week) when I had just barely turned 3. I then went on ahead to 4 year old preschool the next year (still part-time).

I did just fine with learning the material, but I was content to play with a puzzle or coloring book by myself. I was an only child, so I was used to entertaining myself. The teacher was concerned that I didn't socialize enough, so she suggested that my parents hold me back a year so I could learn to socialize more.

So my parents had me repeat part-time 4 year old preschool for a second year. Then when I started kindergarten, I had just turned 6 instead of having just turned 5. My kindergarten was half-day as well (it seems like that was more common back then than it is now). I then started full-time school in first grade having just turned 7.

Instead of being one of the very youngest in my grade, I was one of the older kids. And after repeating a year of preschool, I really enjoyed socializing and playing with the other kids. I did well academically throughout my school years, and I think it was a real advantage that I wasn't the baby of the grade. Plus, since I repeated preschool, there wasn't the issue with any sort of "stigma" of being held back once the other kids are old enough to be aware of it.

So all in all, if you're considering holding your child back, then I think it worked out very well for me. Plus, I think it's best to do it when they are younger so it's not awkward. I hope that helps!
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Old 09-28-2009, 09:01 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Disney fan View Post
What age did she begin Kindergarten? 5 going on 6?
Yes 5 going on 6. She is in the first grade now and loves school! There are other kids in her class that are the same age. In some states a child needs to be 5 by the time school begins, and because this is a military heavy area and people came from all over, there are other late starters too.
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Old 09-28-2009, 09:01 AM   #15
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This is such a personal decision. I have had 1 start kindergarten young (26 Oct birthday), 1 July, and 1 Jan. They all have suceeded in school.

I have heard that most "academic" advantage for starting late is pretty much gone by 3rd grade. (I know that there are exceptions)

If a child is red-shirted only for a sports advantage there is also a downside. A student may age out of some programs. One of my neighbors sons couldn't participate in a summer baseball league because of that. Also, the student may spend most of his senior year 18 or 19. Now I know none of the "snowflakes" on this board will ever get in trouble but if there was any problems with the law they wouldn't be considered minors anymore.

Last edited by trip; 09-28-2009 at 09:22 AM.
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