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Old 09-14-2009, 05:34 PM   #1
eandesmom
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Life’s too short...to never sleep in a treehouse! 8/27 TR is up! Link in siggie

Life is short. And all too often I know I get caught up in things that, in the big picture, aren’t all that important. They aren’t what matters. The minutia of life doesn’t play a minor role most days for me. It can take over and be hard to see past. Sometimes however, things happen, that remind us to take a step back and re-evaluate, re-prioritize. To stop. To breathe. To just be.

Together.

I have had such a weekend. And while I don’t want to start this PTR out on a sad note it is true that such events are often the catalyst for moving other things forward in life and this is certainly a contributing factor in this case.

I went into my weekend caught up in minutia. Caught up in life. And ok, maybe it isn't minutia but none of it was anything that thinking about, in the moment I was thinking about it, could have possibly had a positive purpose for.

I had a magical day planned with my husband Jeff on Friday that should have been spent completely focused on enjoying the moment. Instead, at times, I let myself dwell on things, be distracted by things that had nothing to do with the moment I was in, moments I won't get back. It was a good day. A great day even. However, it should have been, could have been, unforgettable, magical. Defining even. I let life get in the way of that, and knew I was doing it at the time and did it anyway.

Later that night, a coach in our rec soccer league, died from a burst aorta at his daughters practice. I did not know him, but I did know one of the families on the team, their son plays with our youngest and it was surreal to know that the very field our boys were playing on that morning, had witnessed such a horrible tragedy the night before. That their daughter, only 9, had witnessed it at that age.

It vividly brought to mind the loss of a parent on the same team, just 2 years prior, to a horrendous freak accident, driving to his son's practice. I spent much of Saturday reflecting on time, and making time count and reminding myself to enjoy the moment (and berating myself for my self absorption the day before). I didn’t have a chance to discuss any of this with my Jeff, he was off at different soccer game and then our evening was taken over with a last afternoon at the lake enjoying the summer weather and then a family party at our house, celebrating 2 of our kids birthdays with cousins and grandparents.

I was blessed with such a moment to treasure later that evening. The party had started quite late and with 6 boys ranging from ages 9-12 my house felt VERY small after about an hour of them being cooped up inside as it was dark out. The TV’s were occupied with adults watching sports or teens hiding from young annoying boys and I was trying to figure out how to commandeer one of the TV’s for the younger ones when my 10 year old nephew Isaac asked me if he could have a blanket.

“For what” I asked. "To go outside, lay down, and look at the stars". "Is that ok Aunt Cindy?".

I had to stop myself, for a nanosecond, from even thinking about my blankets being spread out on the street or in the driveway, from caring about dirt and gum and whatever else. From thinking that I can't wash them after they do this because my washer is broke and it won't get fixed until Tuesday afternoon It was a nanosecond. But it was there.

"Yes of course that's ok Izzy, let's go see what we have"

That evening, 5 of the 6 previously completely wild boys laid down in my driveway, looking at the stars, finding Jupiter and discussing constellations. It was their idea from start to finish, all we did was provide blankets. Blankets I haven't washed. In fact, I haven't even checked to see if they are dirty or not. It would have been 6 little boys but my autistic nephew wanted to read inside. My DS Evan, also 10, tried to get his cousin to come join them, offering a flashlight so he could continue to read but Quin, 11, declined.

Often on a night like this, Jeff will get out the telescope and show the boys what to look for. They love it. But there was a soccer game on TV and Jeff, along with the rest of the adults was otherwise engaged.

They wanted stars. They figured out how to get them on their own.

I have no pictures to share of that moment, observing the boys from my front porch, other than the ones in my heart but they give me joy as I write just to think about.

They can be sweet, those wild boys.
They can have quiet moments.
they can CREATE moments
They can reflect.
They can just...be.

It is so easy to forget that.

The next morning we learned that my BIL, Doug, had a mild heart attack and was awaiting surgery. Doug is self employed and does not have insurance and does not take the greatest care of himself. Doug and Jeff are not terribly close, a source of sadness to all. They are not “not” close (if that makes any sense to anyone but me) but just very different people living very different lives. All 3 men, the coach Friday night, the dad 2 years ago and Doug, were 42 or 43. My husband Jeff and I spent much of Sunday in shock and reflection.

We decided, part of the way through our day yesterday, in the midst of baby showers and hospital updates, that we need to include Doug in our next family trip. As some of you know, we didn't have a family trip this summer, letting "life" get in the way. We haven't even seen Doug since July of 08. Sure that's only a year but if you only have 1 brother, that's pretty long in my book. At best it's once a year. I am blessed, most of my siblings are nearby and I see them all the time. Jeff's family means travel and we often put the burden on them, making the excuse that there are less of them than us, and it's easier.

But that's a convenient excuse. With Doug, we have so very few of those moments with him so far, especially the kids, they barely know Uncle Doug. And while this was mild, it was scary and there is some pretty significant family history in that area.

We decided today, that the trip would be to Orlando. There are a lot of reasons why and over the course of this PTR I'm sure I'll mention most of them.

The bottom line is I’m pretty sure we can see the stars there. I plan to lay outside on the deck and find out. And even if we can’t see them, we will know they are there. I think that's pixie dust. Lots and lots of it. And I also know that pixie dust has magical healing properties.

What better place to create those moments. And maybe, just maybe, a new dynamic for uncles and brothers.

There may be a lot of very good reasons why we shouldn’t do this trip. There may be some significant hurdles to overcome to make this trip happen. But the reasons we SHOULD, well, let’s just say the other stuff isn’t important. Can be overcome. Should be overcome.

So say we all.

I hope you enjoy planning with me. And talking me off the ledge if I get overwhelmed with the minutia of life at times and it seems like we won’t pull this off.

Here is a quick picture and list of our cast of characters, much more bio and history in the upcoming posts. Even though the trip is quite a ways away, life is too short not to make plans. And, while those plans may ultimately not work out or may need to change, there is significant joy and hope to be found in the planning. Plus, as I think most of you will agree, it makes the trip come faster.



I have decided to dispense with nicknames, if I’m planning this far out, it will make it much easier! By the time this trip happens, we (with the exception of Eric) will all be a year older. Of course we are all older now than in this picture but it's the only shot of all 9 of us I have (from Dec 07 lol!)
  • Cynthia. Me. The planner of the clan. 43
  • Jeff. My fabulous(ly tolerant of my Disney addiction) husband. 45
  • Taylor. DSS16
  • Kendall. DSD13
  • Evan. DS10
  • Eric. DS9
  • Sandie. My fantabulous MIL. I won’t divulge her age!
  • Paul. Sandie’s amazing husband. Who also happened to marry Jeff and I He is the bomb. And a huge Disney fan.
  • Doug. Jeff’s brother (my BIL lol), 43
  • And a possible add on, Laura, Doug’s girlfriend

Handy dandy update links!

Part one

Part Two

Last edited by eandesmom; 08-27-2010 at 11:40 AM.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:05 PM   #2
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Well said!! Life is too short!! Looking forward to reading your reports, especially staying at the Tree House!!
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Old 09-15-2009, 05:48 AM   #4
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I saw your new tag pop up when I scrolled through my PTR and had to come jump on! I have to come back later and read your post because I have to go get the kiddos up for school now! Be back soon!
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:24 AM   #5
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I know how you feel, and I'm very proud of you for deciding to do this. There will always be reasons not to do things, and you're finding the good reasons to do them. That, in and of itself, is a kind of blessing.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:59 AM   #6
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Yeah! ladies who are leaving soon on their own fabulous trips!

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Originally Posted by mickeysmyboy View Post
I saw your new tag pop up when I scrolled through my PTR and had to come jump on! I have to come back later and read your post because I have to go get the kiddos up for school now! Be back soon!
Hi Melissa! Welcome!!!! When I get to 50 days I'm going to borrow your blinkie. Love that.



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Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post


I know how you feel, and I'm very proud of you for deciding to do this. There will always be reasons not to do things, and you're finding the good reasons to do them. That, in and of itself, is a kind of blessing.
TK! Yay!

Thanks and yes, it is a blessing. BIL is supposed to be released from the hospital today and can go back to work next week, that's the real blessing! More on that later.
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Old 09-15-2009, 12:06 PM   #7
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TK! Yay!
Awww...I couldn't ask for a better reception!

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Thanks and yes, it is a blessing. BIL is supposed to be released from the hospital today and can go back to work next week, that's the real blessing! More on that later.
Oh, thank goodness.
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Old 09-15-2009, 12:34 PM   #8
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A grand gathering! The cast.....

Since I have so much time to plan and PTR this time I'm going to do it right with lots of info on our cast, history, disney obsession, the works!

So without further ado.... here is our gang! First up, the parental units. AKA DH and I.


Me. Cynthia. Mom to the e's....





Currently "in transition" I guess. LOL! I guess technically I am a WAHM. I was with the same company for 13 years, was laid off, took some time off to hang with my kids and then went back into a new industry. My new industry is struggling and my position has been moved to 100% commission. Which, is not really what I'm looking for at this point in my life. So I'm in the midst of a job hunt while trying to bring stuff in and truthfully it was a bit of a hard summer for me in many many ways. I'm glad that school has started and I can focus on this new chapter of my life, whatever it may turn out to be. That's the life getting in the way stuff and I'm REALLY going to work on not letting it get in the way anymore!

There is a lot more to me than the job saga! I am the mother to 2 wonderful little boys whose names, yep, both start with E. Evan is 10 and Eric is 9. More on them later. It wasn't really planned, it just happened that I liked E names. DH and I often call them E1 and E2 (like Thing 1 and Thing 2). I am also the stepmother (or bonus mom, a term I vastly prefer) to a couple of teenagers. Kendall is 13 and Taylor is 16 although will be 17 next month, gasp. It's a pretty cool job being a bonus mom. I always wanted a large family and this way I didn't have to be pregnant all those times! Actually I didn't mind the pregnancy parts, just the newborn parts. LOL.

My DH Jeff and I have been married for almost 5 years, together for 7. Being a mom, and bonus mom, to 4 is a bit nutty at times but I like being busy. I don't do well with free time! When I'm not working or shuttling kids around, or volunteering at their events and helping raise money for their schools I like to read, travel, garden, hike, camp and bike. I'm also a closet geek, I love software, especially graphic programs but have almost an equal obsession with spreadsheets. I love seeing what technology can do but don't' really have a clue what I am doing most of the time. Even though Jeff is the engineer, I'm the one who fixes stuff around here or teaches people how it works be it ipods, phones, computers, etc. I stay away from the cars though.

We are blessed to live in the great Pacific Northwest and I am one of those rare natives! I've lived here all my life with the exception of 10 years in Chicago. I do have a great deal of fondness for Chi-town...it gave me the E's

We are avid outdoors folks which I think is part of why we loved Fort Wilderness so much on our last Disney trip. And why we really really want to stay in a treehouse.

I've been going to Disney since I was 10. My first trip was, fittingly enough, with MY bonus mom! Who is my mom in my heart and that's what I call her. She started a whole clan of fanatics (I'm the oldest of 6) but it was that first trip to Disneyland that got me hooked. I will never forget the tears and devastation I felt when my tshirt from that trip was ruined just a few weeks later, I was that bonded, even then! Since then I've had quite a few trips to DL over the years, trips as a kid with my family, trips as a college student with friends and then finally, in 1991 I made it to the World for the first time!

Since then I've been 3 additonal times, with one DL trip thrown in there as well, so this will be trip #5 to the world and my 4 trip in 8 years total (2002, 2004, 2008 and 2010!). 4 years is definitely too long in between trips, Jeff would like to be on the 3 year plan but I'm pushing for every 2.

Jeff, like myself, is a native west-coaster though he did a brief stint in Denver. Considering I lived in Chicago for 10 years, I don't hold that against him. He however is from that place down south....that all the people leave and move up here and make our traffic terrible! He's acclimated well despite being from CA. While I went to DL quite a few times as a child and young adult, Jeff pretty much lived there and so was not all that excited about visiting the world. Caving to peer pressure, and soon to be in-laws, he joined my family for a trip in 2004. 20 people in 2 rental homes, just outside of the main gate. Not only did he survive, he thrived, and went on to marry me just a few weeks later.

Here we are with all my siblings and their kids (it's grown since then!)
I'll post more pictures of this trip later.

And the fateful day. Those kids look so LITTLE!



So, enough about ME!
On to Jeff.



Jeff is a fabulous dad, stepdad (bonus dad!) and husband. I am especially grateful for him as he is the only dad involved in the E's lives. And much like my own situation growing up, I know what a different the RIGHT stepparent can make. My (step) mom saved my family in so many ways and I am so grateful to have found this amazing man! He is an engineer, an outdoor nut and is much more focused on his fitness regimen than I am. Much to his disappointment. I am working on that. He also loves to travel and we try to make sure we have at least one "date" trip a year (no kids) as well as somewhere with the kids. We've both learned the hard way just how important it is that the couple is a couple, not just a family if that makes sense.

In his spare time, not that he has much, he is building a plane in the garage.

Yes. You read that right. I'm sure part of this PTR will include plane saga. But the plane is a key cast member actually. Because...he is building a seaplane. And the company that makes this kit happens to be based in...Orlando! Some of you may recall he went on a test flight down there on our last trip, for this one, if the plane is far enough along, he will be doing several days of certifications. We won't know where things are at for quite some time though so that is definitely a wild card.

My flyboy....



Jeff took me flying for the first time last friday. Even though he's been flying for years, it wasn't "encouraged" in his previous relationship. So for the past few years he's been working on getting current again, with my support. We've tried to go up together before but for this reason and that reason, it never happened. It finally did last friday and it was a truly magical day. It would have been more magical had I NOT been thinking about my job situation and that, combined with everything else that happened this weekend is hopefully the snap I needed to get out of my funk and move on. And focus on what IS really important.


A recent pic of the two of us....



As you will see once we get into the report, there aren't many of just the two of us and so you get this kind of self portrait!
Coming up next, a quick BIL update and meet those crazy kids

Last edited by eandesmom; 09-16-2009 at 11:49 AM.
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:01 PM   #9
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A quick BIL update

BIL is supposed to be released today and can go back to work next week. He is a contractor and was just starting a huge job, one he is worried about losing so hopefully he can hang on to it and if he can't manage some things, he gets help. BIL is not good about asking for help so we are all a little worried about that part but have faith.

He had 100% blockage in one artery so now has a stent. Apparently he'd had some asthma issues all week and so his breathing was already compromised. This was actually a good thing as when the mild attack happened, it was much more noticeable than it might have been, had he not been already struggling to breathe.

The prognosis is very good IF he makes some changes and has to be on a pretty strict medication regimen for at least the next year. We are less concerned about him making the diet and exercise changes and more concerned about the medication. As he is self employed, he does not have insurance and the meds he will need are VERY expensive. He struggles to make ends meet as it is and now with these medical bills well, it's scary to say the least. The family has decided to chip in to make sure the meds are covered so he has no excuse to slip. Which I guess means we may now be paying a third of that bill if it is split equally between my FIL and his wife, my MIL and her DH and us. Which is what it sounds like Jeff agreed to with his mom and dad. Ugh. Not money we have either but again, we have to focus on what is important. We will see how that plays out, money things are never great to get involved with, with families, but hopefully we can all come together and it will be fine and not too stressful for Jeff.

Who, speaking of, plans to get his own cholesterol checked this week. I'm hoping to get in next week. We think we are ok as we both had recent life insurance exams and nothing came up but...it'd be nicer to have those actual numbers in front of us!

Back to Doug. Apparently he is in good spirits and was up walking yesterday though did tire pretty quickly. His girlfriend did stop by so that's good.

For Disney either MIL will buy Doug's ticket, or we will split it, that money aspect I'm not worried about as it will certainly not be the first time we, or she, have done it. The beauty of August is free dining and that really makes it feel doable to just "add" him to the trip.

I know MIL is very worried about the hospital bill as well, when her husband had the same thing the bill was 100K which of course Doug doesn't have either (who does!). So it will be an interesting time. It just really brings home the insurance issue for us, we have never been touched this personally by it and it is scary to see just how quickly one can be destroyed financially, it breaks my heart. And of course all of us have insurance so despite being research hounds, really have no idea of where to go for help for him though I'm sure it exists.

Last edited by eandesmom; 09-15-2009 at 01:13 PM.
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:14 PM   #10
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All I can is WOW! Your are so right! There are so many things that we get caught up in on a daily basis that don't really matter. I try hard everyday to remember what really does matter so my kiddos will, perhaps, gain an understanding of that and not focus too much on nonsense. But all to often the chaos of a family of 5 with 5 different things to do gets in the way.

I also love your introductions!! I love the pictures of you and your DH with the mountains behind you One day I will see mountains like that in person and not just in pictures and on TV

I love your wedding pictures!! You looks soooo beautiful and soooo happy!!

My DH is an engineer as well! I think its so cool that your DH is building a plane! How awesome is that?!

Anyway, I'll stop babbling now! Can't wait to read more!
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:41 PM   #11
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Thanks for sharing your beautiful family!! Love the wedding pictures, what a lovely couple you are.

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In his spare time, not that he has much, he is building a plane in the garage.
This made me LOL for some reason!!
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:20 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TarzansKat View Post
Awww...I couldn't ask for a better reception!
and well deserved

Quote:
Originally Posted by mickeysmyboy View Post
all to often the chaos of a family of 5 with 5 different things to do gets in the way.
I know that SOOOO well! It is hard!

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Originally Posted by mickeysmyboy View Post
I also love your introductions!! I love the pictures of you and your DH with the mountains behind you One day I will see mountains like that in person and not just in pictures and on TV

I love your wedding pictures!! You looks soooo beautiful and soooo happy!!

My DH is an engineer as well! I think its so cool that your DH is building a plane! How awesome is that?!

Anyway, I'll stop babbling now! Can't wait to read more!
Thanks! Those pictures are from one of our all time favorite hikes and even though they aren't super recent, they are one of my favorites. Just one of those magical days. One of those "moments" I'm trying to focus on. And it was a HARD hike and we earned that view! Come to the great NW, we've got lots of those mountains. I'll tell you, it was something else seeing them from a tiny plane last week, I got some amazing pictures! DH calls it God's country, and it is! I truly can't imagine living anywhere else, the midwest was hard for me, I missed my mountains and my sea.

That was a happy day, it's nice that it shows in the pictures! The plane is pretty cool I must admit. I only get nervous when it hits me that it makes me the navigator, NOT my strong suit! Thankfully it will have GPS lol. I also apparently have to do something with fabric...melting it on? And of course the logo and paint design, now that part I can handle!

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Thanks for sharing your beautiful family!! Love the wedding pictures, what a lovely couple you are.

This made me LOL for some reason!!
Thanks!

LOL! The building a plane in the garage makes many people smile. And then shake their head like he/we are crazy. A big disclaimer here. He is building it on HIS side of the garage. That's the deal. No infringement or encroachment. Once that happens it moves! Of course that will take a while, it'll fit until it is time to put the wings on.
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:21 PM   #13
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Loving your report! I am definitely in!!
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:40 PM   #14
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Loving your report! I am definitely in!!
Welcome! I just started poking through your PJ and while reading, realized I left something out of mine.

DH and I met online

god bless the internet.

ok back to yours, loving it so far!
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Old 09-15-2009, 04:08 PM   #15
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! DH calls it God's country, and it is! I truly can't imagine living anywhere else, the midwest was hard for me, I missed my mountains and my sea.
It's funny you say that because my DH calls where we live God's country!

We live at the very eastern end of Long Island, NY. Summer can be a nightmare because of "summer people" but other then that it's still very peaceful and somewhat unspoiled! We have so many beautiful beaches, wonderful farms and vineyards etc! No mountains though!! LOL!!

My parents live in the Poconos in PA and lived for awhile actually on a mountain in the Catskills in NY but I want some mountains like in your pictures with snowcapped peaks etc. The Catskills and Poconos don't really have that! It's more kinda rolling hill, but big hills.

I forgot to add before that your more then welcome to my blinkie!! I'll even make you a new one! I'm contemplating the Disign board. The thing is, I know it's terribly addictive!!!
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