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Old 12-17-2009, 11:04 AM   #1
Shelly F - Ohio
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Daughters who have lost their Mother

I thought I would start a thread for Daugthers who have lost their Mom's. Some place to share, reflect and get support from those of us who have lost our Mom's.

I lost my Mom in 1993 and she was my best friend. I miss her dearly especially here at Christmas which was her favorite holiday.

I miss some of the dishes she made like homemade red velvet cake, pumpkin cookies.

I wish my hubby could have met her.
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Old 12-17-2009, 01:37 PM   #2
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Count me in...a sad group to be a part of! I lost my mom in July 2007. This is the first year Dad and I have remotely gotten into 'The Christmas Spirit.' In 2007 we ran away to Las Vegas for Christmas and didn't put one stitch of decoration up.

It's difficult to see all the commercials with happy families, and when we decorate, see her stocking and our last Disney ornament with our names on from her last trip with us. I miss her all the time, but the holiday season is harder than the rest of the year.

to everyone who has lost their mom, no matter how old you are, it's such a hard thing to go through!
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Old 12-17-2009, 05:48 PM   #3
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I miss my mom too. I really didnt even have time to grieve as I had to take in my 90 year old grandma who lived with her and I was recovering from surgery which I had complications from and almost died from like a week before that.

Now I have been fighting cancer all this year. I really wish my mom was around to encourage me and give me a hug etc. Her best friend lives in the next state. I call her aunt and she talks to me on the phone alot, I love her like a mom, but I miss my real mom.
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Old 12-17-2009, 07:50 PM   #4
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I am so glad this got started, I hope we can keep it going.

I lost my mom Aug 26, 2008, very suddenly. We had been talking about our upcoming Disney trip that weekend and she collapsed, I buried her the day we were supposed to leave for Disney.

We weren't always quite as close, because of my grandmother. My parents divorced when I was just a year old and my father wasn't a part of my life (his choice). My mom and I lived in our house until my grandfather died when I was 5, then we moved in with my grandmother, who did most of my raising since mom had to work. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2000 and died in 2001, so mom and I grew closer.

Mom was there for me through every rotten work day, all the infertility treatments, and the decision to remain childless. She was just always there for me literally everyday. I was ther for her through the 7 year fight with her sister and brother over my grandmothers estate and I bought my grandparents house and we moved in with her and DH, then my teenaged cousin. I worked nights, so we spent all morning together and she picked me up most evenings because of DH's job schedule.

I don't know any other mothers and daughter who are closer. Everywhere we went everybody knew us and it was difficult going out for awhile, because everyone was so used to seeing us together.

Disney was our favorite place, especially at Christmas, because they could accommodate her needs. It was difficult that first trip after her death and our Christmas 2008 trip was a blur, but I have such great memories.

Well, I have gone on too much, but it helps to have someone who understands.

Suzanne
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Old 12-17-2009, 09:13 PM   #5
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My twin girls (and son) lost their Mom just over three years ago, when they were only 3. Unfortunately, since she was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma a week before they were born, they only remember Mommy "being sick".

When we went to WDW last May it was very bittersweet, as my wife was the huge Disney fan, and I knew she would have wanted to be there with us. There were a few tears from me (hidden from the kids) when we entered the Magic Kingdom at rope drop.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell asked where Mommy was. After the girls replied that Mommy was in heaven, Tink replied "Well you just give some huge hugs to me, and I'll fly up to Heaven to give them to Mommy."

While watching Wishes that night, the kids saw Tinkerbell scaling down from the castle and screamed "Look, Tinkerbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs!!" At the end of Wishes, the kids saw 3 huge heart shaped fireworks and they said in unison "Thanks Mommy, we love you too."
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Old 12-17-2009, 09:31 PM   #6
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OMG where is my box of kleenex. That was such a touching story Alamode.
I lost my Mom to lung cancer which spread to her brain. She under went an experimental treatment at the Cleveland Clinic which did shrink her brain tumor. She had 1/2 a lung removed. In the end the cancer had spread to bones. She was a good little fighter.
The day of her funeral we had a blizzard! We no sooner left the graveyard and the declared the city in a state of emergency and closed all the roads. We had a lot of out of town guest stranded. I had a friend with a 4X4 SUV who transport people to the hotel. What an ordeal.

What is the best memory or tradition you have about Christmas time spent with your Mom?
One a few occasions my two sisters and their families would spend the night Christmas Eve and then we would wake up and open presents. There would be 16 people under one roof. Not to mention the huge pile of presents under the tree.
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Old 12-17-2009, 09:52 PM   #7
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My mom died suddenly of a heart attack November 2, 1990. She was the family "Christmas Elf", getting everybody organized, decorations up, etc. It just wasn't the same after that.

My fondest (and funniest) memory was Mom always letting in the dog Christmas morning for a treat and to open his present (a toy) and hearing her fuss when the first thing the dog did was chase the cat up the Christmas tree. After the first two years, she had Dad fasten the tree to the wall with wires so the pets couldn't tip it over.
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Old 12-18-2009, 04:29 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alamode View Post
My twin girls (and son) lost their Mom just over three years ago, when they were only 3. Unfortunately, since she was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma a week before they were born, they only remember Mommy "being sick".

When we went to WDW last May it was very bittersweet, as my wife was the huge Disney fan, and I knew she would have wanted to be there with us. There were a few tears from me (hidden from the kids) when we entered the Magic Kingdom at rope drop.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell asked where Mommy was. After the girls replied that Mommy was in heaven, Tink replied "Well you just give some huge hugs to me, and I'll fly up to Heaven to give them to Mommy."

While watching Wishes that night, the kids saw Tinkerbell scaling down from the castle and screamed "Look, Tinkerbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs!!" At the end of Wishes, the kids saw 3 huge heart shaped fireworks and they said in unison "Thanks Mommy, we love you too."
that was wonderfully heartfelt and beautiful story. thank you for sharing it. I didn't lose my mom, but my dad, and I can truly almost imagine the excitement and joy your kids must have felt.

ps. you sound like an awesome father!
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Old 12-18-2009, 08:08 AM   #9
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I lost my Mom back in 1997 to lung cancer and miss her very much especially at the holidays like this.

We were supposed to go to Disney together in May of '97. In April she was on a trip with her seniors group (though she was a very young senior of 67) and came home with a nasty cough that wouldn't go away. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Needless to say that trip got cancelled. We were going to be staying at the Poly and since that was her favorite resort we bought her a brick that year. It is on the path from the resort to the luau. So a part of her memory will always be at the Poly.

Thankfully we had six months together where we could share things. One of the things she requested was to be buried in the dress she wore to my wedding some 7 years before. Turned out to be very profound as we waked her on our wedding anniversary. She and my husband were very close and I'm blessed that she got to know him so well.

We still visit her brick at the Poly and I still talk to her every day. I know she is looking after us.
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Old 12-18-2009, 09:52 AM   #10
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Over a year ago, I lost my mother in her old age. She left shortly after a set of strokes while suffering from dementia. I felt like I never really had her. Our relationship was strained at best through the duration of my life.

Last month, I lost my mother-in-law to cervical cancer. The lady was one of my dearest friends. She was a combination of the mother and big sister I never had. The matriarch of her family, she is SO MISSED. She left us far too soon!
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Old 12-18-2009, 02:51 PM   #11
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I lost my mother on April 16, 2001. She had COPD and between that and issues with some of my brothers, she just wore out. I miss her every day. She and I were the only girls in the family, so we stuck together against my father and three brothers.

My favorite Christmas memory comes back to me every time I hear Feliz Navidad. Mom and I are in the car, driving back from the Plymouth Meeting Mall after a massive Christmas shopping attack, singing along with the radio at the top of our lungs. She was Santa, and I was her elf.

Nothing can top watching the Osborne lights dance to Feliz Navidad for putting me in the spirit of the season.

Kathy
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Old 12-18-2009, 03:21 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alamode View Post
My twin girls (and son) lost their Mom just over three years ago, when they were only 3. Unfortunately, since she was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma a week before they were born, they only remember Mommy "being sick".

When we went to WDW last May it was very bittersweet, as my wife was the huge Disney fan, and I knew she would have wanted to be there with us. There were a few tears from me (hidden from the kids) when we entered the Magic Kingdom at rope drop.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell asked where Mommy was. After the girls replied that Mommy was in heaven, Tink replied "Well you just give some huge hugs to me, and I'll fly up to Heaven to give them to Mommy."

While watching Wishes that night, the kids saw Tinkerbell scaling down from the castle and screamed "Look, Tinkerbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs!!" At the end of Wishes, the kids saw 3 huge heart shaped fireworks and they said in unison "Thanks Mommy, we love you too."
Oh, good heavens! I'm literally in tears.

I lost my mom to colon cancer in January 2004. To this day, I can't watch it snow on Main Street at Disneyland, because that was the last thing that mom and I went out and did together. I know I'll just break down crying if I see it now. I ended up on Main St, watching the castle lighting moment at Disneyland the other evening and I started crying.

During my second ABD trip, on a ferry boat from Capri back to Sorrento, I started to cry a bit, because I looked around at the beautiful sights around me and thought of how much mom would have loved to have gone on both the ABDs with me. She never got the chance to travel overseas and I know she would have loved to go, just us two girls.

Dad and I have not had much Christmas spirit since mom died. We don't even bother to buy a tree or decorate the house at all. It just doesn't seem worth it now. Mom was always the one who organized all of that and made it seem fun.

I don't spend too much time thinking about how much I miss her, but every now and then a thought will just hit me out of the blue and bring me to tears. No matter your age, it's just hard to lose mom.
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Old 12-19-2009, 03:10 PM   #13
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Hi all -

I wanted to post about my wonderful, loving, caring, and generous mom who passed away Nov. 22, 2009. I feel like I have a huge hole in my gut and like my heart has been ripped out. I have lost my best friend, and my dad has lost his soulmate (they were high school sweethearts, and taught me what "true love" really is).

She had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma back in 2005. During chemo, she picked up several lung infections that eventually left her with 20% lung function. She seemed to do pretty well mosying around the house with her 90 foot oxygen tubing, and we thought she could continue like that for a while, and be able to watch her grandbabies grow up.

We got back from Disney on Oct. 22, 2009, from a FANTASTIC trip. Mom had said several times while we were there, that she had never felt better. A few days after we got home, we all started to feel very sick. Mom spent the next few days in bed with a fever and a cough. She was admitted to the hospital and discovered she, and probably all of us, had contracted the swine flu.

She seemed to be tolerating it, until she started to seem confused. The night she was admitted to the hospital, we found out that the carbon dioxide level in her blood was three times what it should have been. She was placed on a ventilator, and began to deteriorate. Her lungs no longer were working, and the ventilator was barely keeping her going. She couldn't keep her blood gasses where they should have been. We took her off the ventilator at 3:00 p.m. on 11/22/09. She passed 10 minutes later. She was 50 years old.

I hope someday that I can be half the mom she was. She was the perfect mom, times ten. She was there for everything. We did everything together. I can't even bring myself to get my hair done because we used to always go together. She loved her grandbabies, my DS Kaden (2.5) and my DD Allie (6 months), with all her heart. She wanted to see her granddaughter get married. She wanted to see Kaden's soccer games. She always said, I'm not ready to check out, I have too much to do! I go over it again and again wondering what we could have done differently.

I am so sorry for everyone's losses on this thread. I can definately understand how you all feel, and my thoughts and prayers are with you all. We all have our very own guardian angels now.
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Last edited by DIsNeYSweEtHrTs; 12-19-2009 at 03:33 PM.
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Old 12-22-2009, 10:47 PM   #14
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My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 1987, and died 3 days after my 16th birthday on January 8 1988. Seeing her quickly slipping away through that Christmas was very difficult to watch. I was very close to my mom, and have felt so alone since she has been gone. Christmas has been such a sad time for me for many,many years. It was always a reminder of watching my mom dying. It is just in the last couple of years that I have started to appreciate Christmas again. Going to Disney and seeing all the beautiful decorations, and frankly, being able to get away from home has helped me get through the season. Even after all these years, I still miss my mom and think of her every day. It is such a huge loss and has changed me and my life in so many ways.

It's kind of nice to be able to write this here, because after 23 years, I feel like I'm not allowed to be sad anymore.
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Old 12-26-2009, 09:55 PM   #15
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I lost my dad 3-4-79 and my mom 11-12-07. She passed away on my older sister's birthday.

The only thing that keeps me going is that I now know my parents are together again.

To think back and now realize that my mom was on her own for 28 years is amazing to me. They deserve to be together.

I miss them both so much I can not begin to express it in words.

Thanks for starting this thread.

to everyone.
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