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Old 02-15-2014, 06:02 PM   #31
BMWTeamLeader
Earning My Ears
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 57

Thanks for response. During the time I have been apart from my daughter I know I could have done better. I've been given a lot to think about things she has said to me directly and events over time I replay in my mind over and over. I also am still a parent and I am noticing with changed techniques I get different results. What my daughter has said to me makes complete and utter sense, but right now saying "I'm sorry" doesn't fly with her...they are just words...To be honest I'm having a hard time expressing what I'm sorry for, and ultimately I end up feeling sorry for myself

Our communication is so poor and I believe it always was. I was thinking about this the other day, when the last time we talked (back in november) she was saying to me how hard she tried to talk to me about how many problems she was having living with me (when she lived with me). Its like she was saying "I need your help" and I was hearing"I don't want to live with you anymore" and I reacted accordingly...I panicked and took it personally.

Even to myself, these explanations emotionally don't me feel better saying them never mind hearing them.

I'm still in a tizzy that time is going by and I am missing out on a lot in my daughter's life. I'm pushing through an uncomfortable amount of sadness, self pity and sometimes anger. I am doing the best I can for now, but there's a heck of a lot of room for improvement.
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August 2014: AoA Lion King Suite Me DW DD11
April 2007: ASMo (Fantasia), WDW Swan, FW Campground Me DD5
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