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Old 04-23-2013, 06:57 AM   #31
eliza61

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Originally Posted by Granny square View Post
You have the right but you also have to understand the people who come into your space. If one is a known thief then you don't leave cash on the counter. Unfortunately.

Comparing it to rape is a push of an analogy. But if you want to go there, if you bring a known rapist into your home you don't leave them alone with your teen age daughter. Even though she has the right to safety.
That's exactly my point! Op could hide every single t hing of value until the cows come home and believe me a thief or addict will find it. SHE isn't the problem, her house isn't the problem.

IMO, my house is my sanctuary. Now I don't know if op's brother has an addiction problem, my experience was with a brother with a cocaine addiction.

So how far do you go? like I said, my brother got to the point where he stole open boxes of cereal.

so she locks up the change, he steals the tv. you lock up the tv, He steals the radio, on and on. That's exactly what happen when my parents tossed my brother out. My parents had locks on their BEDROOM and my father had an ephinany, this was ridiculous, no one should have to lock their bedroom door every time you leave because you're worried that a thief is going to steal. YOU arrest the thief.

My brother has been clean and somber for 10 years now and he is still not allowed in my house. I did let him in my backyard for a 4th of July picnic when my son graduated. sorry I'm not going around hiding Christmas gifts because a criminal "might" steal from me. most of my other siblings won't allow him in either and when he claims he has been clean and sober we remind him that this is the situation HE created so 'dems the brakes.

Maybe the rapist thing is a stretch, my apologies, but I say the same thing with that analogy. Nope, not going to stop wearing short skirts. What I will do is blow your carcass clear across the country Ala dirty harry if you even think about touching me, or at the very least one of us will be walking funny. (and yep, I'm a card carrying member of the nra )

I will concede I do have an alarm system and a big ole german sheppard so maybe that's the same thing.

So the issue is NOT to change your space. Her space is absolutely fine. The solution is to change who comes into that space.
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Last edited by eliza61; 04-23-2013 at 07:13 AM.
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Old 04-23-2013, 07:24 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Granny square View Post
You have the right but you also have to understand the people who come into your space. If one is a known thief then you don't leave cash on the counter. Unfortunately.

Comparing it to rape is a push of an analogy. But if you want to go there, if you bring a known rapist into your home you don't leave them alone with your teen age daughter. Even though she has the right to safety.
I think sometimes it is hard to see what lengths people will go to especially when they are family. We got to the point with my teen stepdaughter (who is now in college and healthy so there is hope!) that we had to put a key lock on our bedroom door and move EVERYTHING of value into it as well as medications we couldn't give up, and anything dangerous etc. Once she broke into my mom's car and stole a bottle of tylenol and proceeded to take it all, and on another she smashed her bathroom mirror so she could cut herself and damage things in her room and the house (our pictures etc). None of her counselors, therapist etc. ever said to us don't have a mirror in our house, or check your guest's locked cars for medications. After cleaning her room out after the last time she ran away I found all kinds of stolen items not things of value just regular household and personal items, turns out she liked the drama of the rest of us running around trying to find that thing we put down a minute ago. I never would have thought leaving a hair scrunchy or the other kids leaving toys around would be an invitation to steal. I mean she took a pair of my shoes, and not borrowed, they would have never fit. Just took them and hid them in her room for months.
Having a change jar in your closet isn't like leaving a pile of jewels on your kitchen table. But the real point is the problem isn't the things you have but the person you let in your house. You don't know how far they will go and it will probably be further than you can imagine. The only way to regain any sense of saftey is to get this man out of your house until (hopefully) you can trust him again.
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Old 04-23-2013, 08:20 AM   #33
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I am going to make a suggestion that has worked well for us.
Wildlife Cameras- get one.

While our situation is different, we had someone steal from us and caught it on camera.
We live on a farm, we grow Christmas trees, pecans, eggs, and a few other things.
Our farm is not open to the public.

First, we did not even realize at that someone had stolen from us.

This person (a neighbor- a nice family man who owns around 1,000 acres of land and former state police officer and pillar of our small rural community )
drove into one of our fields with a friend, walked to the middle of the field, and cut down a tree, threw it in his truck and then left with it.

We would not have known of his "visit" had it not been for the Wildlife Cameras (motion-activated still-digital photography ) that we station around our farm to provide us a record of activity when we are not present. (We both work full time off the farm in addition to working our farm.)
We had photos of his truck coming and going into a restricted area- license plate number, what they were wearing, the tree in the back- the whole thing.

Then, the friend he had with him began working with my husband and told him that he had been out to "your beautiful place" and seen it-
and had gotten a Christmas tree in the bargain- but he thought they had cut it off our neighbor's land- not ours.
(yeah, 200 yards inside our property line

What can I say, people are stupid.

Let me say that the 'perp' in this situation has been a good neighbor for 15 years,
and this is not the first time he's cut a tree off us while he thought nobody was looking.
I personally saw him do it about 10 years ago when he didn't know I was watching, and he didn't know that we had purchased the land he was poaching on and let it slide then.

It is surprising what good folk will do when they think nobody is looking, so theft isn't necessarily the action of drug dealers and addicts alone.

We chose not to pursue the matter any further, other than a nice neighborly chat about how his visit in his red truck with his friend was caught by our wildlife camera.

Hey, if Mr. Wealthy Landowner is that desperate for a free Christmas tree, than he is more desperate than I am and he can keep what he took this time.
I want a good relationship with all my neighbors, but mark my words- this will not happen again.

So now, not only do we have multiple Wildlife Cameras around our property- well disguised- we also have posted signage that tells people the area is under surveillance 24 hours a day- with big red eyeballs on the sign.

And that has done a lot to deter nee'r-do-wells and nice neighbors that might steal from us. They never know where or when they are being watched on our property.

I've seen curious people drive down our 1/2 mile driveway, looking for stray hunting dogs or some such thing (who knows- they could be casing the place) , see the signs, and literally turn right around and leave.

And if someone does come out and manage to abscond with something, we'll have water-tight evidence as to who it was and when they did it.
And we will be prosecuting to the fullest extent of the law ~
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Old 04-23-2013, 08:37 AM   #34
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I'm sorry that happened to you and your family.

A police officer spoke to my sons Boy Scouts pack and said that in our area, people are breaking into homes and stealing change jars. I moved mine off of the refrigerator which could be seen through the window. I know yours was hidden OP, but this is just an FYI to everyone else.
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Old 04-23-2013, 08:38 AM   #35
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My family definitely knows how you feel so happy to listen to some venting-we have similar situations on both sides. All I can tell you is to try to focus on positive in your life and count your blessings, and think about how to move forward. My father had all of his college money stolen by his father (my grandfather) - and it was his money (literally thousands of dollars, from jobs), not my grandfather's- this eventually required him to move back to our hometown so he could live with his aunts and uncles (on his mom's side), and work a fulltime schedule of manual labor in addition to going to school fulltime at a local college. He eventually became a NASA physicist. And I never learned about the theft until I was much older b/c my dad and mom always wanted me to focus on good people. On my mother's side, her parents ran a VERY successful small business, but essentially all of the proceeds went into investing in the latest crazy business ventures of his wife's brothers (my great uncles), and then even more often giving them money for living expenses when the next venture inevitably failed. Obviously part of "moving forward" is !you should take efforts to avoid these situations in future, but also remember to focus on positive in your life and the good people in your life. Whether you fully have a full "piggy bank" of blow money for Disney, you still have a Disney trip you can afford- which many do not, and there are some very neat "free" extras at Disney - such as the animation class at dhs, where you get to keep the artwork, or the building at epcot future world with free samples of sodas around the world, or the kidcot and agent p activities at Epcot. And there are the free "special celebration" pins at Disney (birthday, etc) - which ensures you get constant extra greetings from cast members (maybe your kids are even "close" to a birthday?)
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:12 AM   #36
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Wildlife camera is a great idea. I was thinking of security camera that I can view online but I think the wildlife camera would work just as well for my purposes and cost less maybe.
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:17 AM   #37
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(birthday, etc) - which ensures you get constant extra greetings from cast members (maybe your kids are even "close" to a birthday?)
Thanks and yes I was just thinking about being grateful that I still have plenty for meals and such I am just one who is very tight so I figured that I could "waste" some of the change money on snacks treats and souvenirs that I would never spend otherwise.I will be purchasing a couple Disney gift cards before we go to use as waste money because just because he stole some money I'm not going to let him steal my enjoyment of the trip.
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:21 AM   #38
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First I would definitely report this to the police. They have a way of getting the truth out of someone. Second, have you checked with your homeowners insurance to see if they will cover the theft?
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:23 AM   #39
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My brother is in trouble with the law right now and no one knows where he is when I find him,and Im now actively looking I can get him arrested for what he did before so either way he will pay. He wasn't invited into my home he came when no one was home. And I have had a bank of change in my closet for years and had a brother that was a little thief for even longer then that but I live in a house that it would be really easy to get caught so I'm surprised he would have the nerve, but he has done enough I guess he doesn't care any more.
When I find him I wouldn't be surprised to find he hasn't bothered to get rid of the bank he's dumb like that, But he will pay either way because he is on my radar now and I am actually looking for him rather then just letting it run it's course.



Thank you everyone for the support I know I'm not going to get the money back and I feel much better that I'm not the only one with crappy thieving family members.
Yes - definitely not alone. Just because he'll 'pay' for his crimes doesn't mean it won't happen again, and soon. I think it's now time to look into better locks for your windows and doors so that it is MUCH more difficult for him to accomplish next time around.
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:29 AM   #40
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I'm not going to let him steal my enjoyment of the trip.
Good for you! Life is too short to let negative/destructive people take our precious time too!
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Old 04-23-2013, 10:39 AM   #41
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Good for you! Life is too short to let negative/destructive people take our precious time too!
Good thinking! So sad for you, unbelievable he could do that to family.
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Old 04-23-2013, 11:13 AM   #42
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How did he get in your house?? You say he got in your house when no one was home. Did he break in? Or do you leave the door unlocked? Or was a window open?? Whether it was your brother or not, whoever did this entered your home illegally and burglarized your home. You should have reported it to the police right then and there! I don't get why you didn't.
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Old 04-23-2013, 11:36 AM   #43
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How did he get in your house?? You say he got in your house when no one was home. Did he break in? Or do you leave the door unlocked? Or was a window open?? Whether it was your brother or not, whoever did this entered your home illegally and burglarized your home. You should have reported it to the police right then and there! I don't get why you didn't.
I was hoping he would give the money back if he thought it would stop me from calling the police. I have reported it the police officer couldn't get here last night but he will come by tonight. And I forgot he knew how to get in because it's never been a problem.
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Old 04-24-2013, 06:32 AM   #44
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So just as I thought there is not much that they can do but they are looking into his warrants and are going to try to contact him.The officer was very nice and understanding even though I'm sure he sees family theft alot he never acted like it was a waste of his time.
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Old 04-24-2013, 06:43 AM   #45
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Did you contact your homeowners insurance? They may cover the theft because you filed a police report.
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