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Old 01-10-2013, 08:38 PM   #31
StitchesGr8Fan
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Sorry for your situation. But I don't think your son should have to be in the middle of this. The child support will run out before you know it, and then the ex will either get bit by karma or find someone else to manipulate. It stinks that you son is probably not getting any of the benefit of the child support, but it sounds like he is a hard worker and maybe has learned some good life lessons. Best if luck to you.
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:49 PM   #32
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I have worked for the child support office here in Louisiana for 15 years. Every states laws will differ. (In our state the child support ends at age 18- with the exception of a few circumstances.) My suggestion would be to file for a reduction with the court system and let them decide. You may be surprised with the outcome. Good Luck!!
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:51 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Janepod View Post
No court is going to rule that child support $ should go toward grandma's mortgage.
Why shouldn't some of the child support be put towards the housing and utility costs for the child?

OP, I'm a bit confused. Is the child support going to the father or directly to the child? If it's going to the father, is your ex paying rent to his parents? Is he contributing to the food bills for him and his son? Is he paying utilities?
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Old 01-10-2013, 08:57 PM   #34
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Why shouldn't some of the child support be put towards the housing and utility costs for the child?
If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:02 PM   #35
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why should they child have to pay his grandma/dad mortgage?

If a child is working full time while living at home they should be contributing to the household.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:03 PM   #36
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If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.
I agree completely. I thought that some were saying that child support shouldn't be used by the custodial parent to pay a mortgage and that didn't make sense to me.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:06 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by Janepod View Post
If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.
I agree! And in our state, the non- custodial parent does not get a say in how the money is spent.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:09 PM   #38
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I agree completely. I thought that some were saying that child support shouldn't be used by the custodial parent to pay a mortgage and that didn't make sense to me.
To be clear, I meant that the court would not order the child support $ to go toward paying grandma's (not dad's) mortgage.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:13 PM   #39
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To be clear, I meant that the court would not order the child support $ to go toward paying grandma's (not dad's) mortgage.
So does that mean that the child must be allowed to live at the grandparents' house for free? Is it unreasonable for the grandparents to expect rent for him to live there (either from the father if he's receiving the support, or from the child if it's going directly to him)?
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:15 PM   #40
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So does that mean that the child must be allowed to live at the grandparents' house for free? Is it unreasonable for the grandparents to expect rent for him to live there (either from the father if he's receiving the support, or from the child if it's going directly to him)?
That's between the grandparents and the father, I assume. But the custodial parent is required to provide a place for the child to live.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:20 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw View Post
Just looking for opinions, not a debate.
If a child (18 1/2 yrs) is not attending college, has a job making $11 an hour with a 401k, health benefits and paid vacation days..... should the parent whom he or she does not live with be paying support???? State law says until 21 but he/she is virtually self supporting. What do you think would happen in court???????????????????? Anyone have any experience with this kind of thing?
Technically the child is not living with dad but with grandparent in grandparents house. Dad happens to live there too.
My DS is that age exactly. He's in college, but I couldn't imagine him being ready to support himself fully at this age. Maybe if he was in the military or something, but not on $11 an hour. Even in the military at this age, he would be paid pittance.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:26 PM   #42
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OP, I have a friend that, actually, just went through this situation. Almost exactly.

His son is a college student, and the rules here are 21 as long as they are a full time student. His son was working, and he and his mother were living with her mother (the grandmother) he went to court and petitioned for emancipation (his son is 20) because the boy was no longer a full time student, and he was working.

I would think that you would, at the very least, be entitled to a reduction in child support if the child is working full time and not attending school.

Actually, I am thinking that if he is working full time and not attending school, that the court would legally emancipate him. I believe that the "until age 21" was created to protect college students.

This is my personal opinion only, but if you are over 18 and you are not a student then you should be self supporting. If you aren't attending school or some type of job training, then you should be working full time.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:31 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by can'tgetenufofwdw View Post
Just looking for opinions, not a debate.
If a child (18 1/2 yrs) is not attending college, has a job making $11 an hour with a 401k, health benefits and paid vacation days..... should the parent whom he or she does not live with be paying support???? State law says until 21 but he/she is virtually self supporting. What do you think would happen in court???????????????????? Anyone have any experience with this kind of thing?
Technically the child is not living with dad but with grandparent in grandparents house. Dad happens to live there too.
If state law says 21, I guess that's the way it is, but if he's not in college, then I don't think child support should be paid on him.


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If the law in that state is until 21 then it will probably stay like that. Most states are not until 21. I think it's wrong until age 21.
I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I agree. A child of married parents doesn't have any "right" to be supported through college (or until the age of 21 as the OP mentions). Many parents help if they can, but there's no "right" to it. Interestingly enough though, many child support decrees require the non-custodial parent to pay throughout college (or, if the OP is correct about their state, whether they are or not).

While I think it's great to help if you can, I don't think anybody is owed a college education, and if you aren't in college, you aren't owed support. I went through school on part-time jobs and student loans that I repaid after I graduated. It never crossed my mind to expect my parents to pay for it.

Some posters comment that he's not able to support himself on what he makes, and I certainly understand the thought behind that. My question would have to be though, what if he's still in that type of job when he's 25? 30? How long should he be supported since he's not obtaining any training (being somewhat facetious here)?
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:39 PM   #44
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If state law says 21, I guess that's the way it is, but if he's not in college, then I don't think child support should be paid on him.




I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I agree. A child of married parents doesn't have any "right" to be supported through college (or until the age of 21 as the OP mentions). Many parents help if they can, but there's no "right" to it. Interestingly enough though, many child support decrees require the non-custodial parent to pay throughout college (or, if the OP is correct about their state, whether they are or not).

While I think it's great to help if you can, I don't think anybody is owed a college education, and if you aren't in college, you aren't owed support. I went through school on part-time jobs and student loans that I repaid after I graduated. It never crossed my mind to expect my parents to pay for it.

Some posters comment that he's not able to support himself on what he makes, and I certainly understand the thought behind that. My question would have to be though, what if he's still in that type of job when he's 25? 30? How long should he be supported since he's not obtaining any training?
As the poster who said 18 still needs parental support, I would certainly be cutting him off by 21 at the latest if the bolded is true.

For the record, DH and I put ourselves through college and married as babies at 21 and were self sufficient working full time by then.

But I do realize that things have changed somewhat in the last 23 years and cost of living has risen, but pay hasn't in many areas. So it will be interesting as we navigate this with our 4 kids.

Our DS who is in college really doesn't ask for $ (he referees high school soccer and has scholarships) and today I surprised him and did pay for his back to college necessities when we were shopping at Walmart. Although, he doesn't pay his own insurances (health or car) and if it weren't for college scholarships and campus food I am not sure how he'd eat.
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Old 01-10-2013, 09:40 PM   #45
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Honestly you need to get over of how your ex acts. If you go to court and go on about how your ex whom your child lives with you are going to look like a schmuck. And your ex will have more power.
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