when your spouse goes to the doctor do you go into the appointment with them?

[dyna]

Before DH retired I usually met him at the Dr's for his appointments an often made my appointments late enough that DH could be there.

Now that DH is retired we always go to each others appointments.

[gator75]

My husband does watch his sugars , but in his defence he is on 3 types of cholestoral meds all of which cause elevated sugar levels, so the main reason i would be going in if he wants me to is to find out if its from his meds or time for insilin. I have asked him if he want me to go in and he says its up to me. I have sat with him through diabetes educatin , and made sure that he has had every test he needs to to be healthy so it isn't for lack of trying.

And in answer to another question yes dh does drive.

[2girls4me]

No. But he's going for routine physicals, no medical issues.

He's come to my ob appointments when I was pregnant. But doesn't come to any yearly appts

[MissManda]

About 10 years ago my DH (who was my fiance at the time) had a physical through his work. For some reason the group doing the physicals did a chest X-ray on him (supposedly because he smoked for a very short while in his teens). Well, the X-rays showed some sort of mass on or around his heart. He was set up with a cardiologist appt to figure out what was going on with the X-ray. I took him to the appt to offer my moral support but I did not go back with him. I happened to look up from the book I was reading and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him walking out the door. He had gotten some disturbing news and was so upset, he didn't even remember that I was with him. He was also so upset he could hardly remember any details that the doctor told him. After that experience, I determined that if it was anything other than a routine appt then we would go together. Not only for moral support but to also hear exactly what the doctor says and to take notes and ask questions. Thankfully, he is in excellent health now and I haven't had to tag along with him for a while now. He has gone with me to several appts as well. We consider it a team approach.

[LisaR]

I would hope that any spouse would go with their mate if they asked and felt they needed a second set of ears for something serious or complicated.

I would also hope that any adult would be capable of going for all of their routine appointments or for minor issues on their own.

My mom went on all of my dad's appointments in his last years of life. His hearing was horrible, his memory was questionable, and he had serious medical problems. As a matter of fact, when surgery was discussed on different occasions, my mom would ask one of the adult kids to go, too. I never thought this was odd in the slightest.

[CF'er]

I go to all of his and he goes to all of mine. We try to schedule them so the other is available to go. Do we HAVE to? No, but we choose to. It works for us. If you don't want to or can't go and it works for you so be it. It has nothing to do with control or trust or anything like that. Yes, I still go back with my HS age kids too. They ask me to. If they tell me no then I won't. I held DS's hand when he got his shot. Again, his choice.

[nicolita3]

The only time my DH has gone to any of my Dr appointments was when the Dr thought that I had Lymphoma, DH was a nervous wreck, my mom even went to some of those appointment. Also when I had procedures that I needed someone to drive me home or when I was too sick to drive my self. The only time I went with him to his appointments was when he had his knee surgery and he couldnt drive on his own for a month and he had appointments weekly so I went with him.

[shortbun]

Normally and for routine stuff, no. Last winter when I nearly died, DH got in the habit of going with me which I needed because I was in a wheelchair and had a huge piece of equipment attached to me. Now that all is well, no. Don't say never because you just don't know what crazy thing might happen to your otherwise healthy body.

[nanalisa]

Being grown has nothing to do with it. We just care about each other and have each other's back. It also depends on what type of appointment it is. A lot of times it's good to have another set of ears to make sure you catch everything the doctor says.

[BobbieD]

Originally Posted by nanalisa

Being grown has nothing to do with it. We just care about each other and have each other's back. It also depends on what type of appointment it is. A lot of times it's good to have another set of ears to make sure you catch everything the doctor says.

It's a matter of opinion and what works for a couple. Couples can "have each other's back" and care about each other without going to the Dr with each other. In my marriage it isn't something we find necessary as we recognize that we are both perfectly capable of listening, understanding, asking questions..etc in regards to our own Dr visits/medical appointments..we don't need to chaperone each other.

Obviously in a situation where there was a concerning diagnosis (my MIL I know went when FIL received his diagnosis for kidney cancer) or procedure or additional support requested yes of course I would go with my spouse but not for routine or basic stuff.

[brockash]

Nope, we're both adults.

If it were something serious, then sure, but otherwise, no.

[Jedana]

It depends on the appointment.

Unless we are going somewhere after, he usually does his clinic and nephrology appointments by himself. (Oncology also, but those are down to annually now! )

For the transplant stuff, I've been going (except for the last one with the infectious disease consultant--he went from work and then went back after). Some of those I went in on (social worker, financial consultant, surgeon) and some I didn't (labs/tests). Mainly because I was supposed to be there (as his main caregiver) for about half of them.

ETA: I do drive him to appointments when he is going to have something done to his fistula (fistulagrams apparently hurt, because they shoot him up with good drugs) or other work where he won't be able to drive after. Otherwise, he's a big boy and doesn't need me to hold his hand. He rarely drives me to appointments--but that's because I rarely have any!

[mrsklamc]

Originally Posted by Kellydelly

As a nurse I would tell you to go. Listen to the doctor so you can harrass your husband into watching his sugar better.
.

Do you know men for which harassment about health issues improves their compliance? I don't know a single man who would not be even more determined NOT to comply with a doctor's instructions because his wife harassed him about it.

[DisneyFan32WI]

Yes and no. I went to a couple doctor appointments when my husband had cancer. I recently went to his colonoscopy because he wasn't able to drive home. If it were routine, there is no way I would go.

[Pixiedust34]

No.

One exception--I did go in just one time when he was seeing a surgeon about back surgery because he wanted me there to help with decisions and to have an extra set of ears listening to the details as back surgery is heavy duty stuff. He ended up not having surgery, though that was the only time I've ever gone into the doctor's room with him.