Childfree (by choice) Disney Lovers!

[zima-cheryl]

Originally Posted by franandaj

Cheryl that's a great score for AKL! Are you going for F&W?

No, his birthday is in February. Crossing our fingers for nice weather while we are there. But even if it isn't, the free drinks in the concierge lounge will warm us up!

I still can't believe we went from a room to concierge & knocked the price down that much. I guess the Contemporary is in high demand & they can up-price it that way.

[dgbg100106]

All the cool kids are child free... alison

[t_daniels]

Originally Posted by dgbg100106

All the cool kids are child free... alison

Holy cow. AKL folks everywhere!

[franandaj]

Originally Posted by zima-cheryl

No, his birthday is in February. Crossing our fingers for nice weather while we are there. But even if it isn't, the free drinks in the concierge lounge will warm us up!

I still can't believe we went from a room to concierge & knocked the price down that much. I guess the Contemporary is in high demand & they can up-price it that way.

According to your ticker, you guys will arrive two days after we leave. We're at AKV & BLT!

Originally Posted by dgbg100106

All the cool kids are child free... alison

Originally Posted by t_daniels

Holy cow. AKL folks everywhere!

[zima-cheryl]

Originally Posted by franandaj

According to your ticker, you guys will arrive two days after we leave. We're at AKV & BLT!

Murphey's Law, isn't it?

[CurlyJo224]

DH and I are one week out from our last trip to Disney before we move to Florida! The next time we go to the World after this, it won't involve a plane!

[KateB]

CF by choice! I am a 5th grade teacher and get my fill of kids everyday. DH still wants them but as the years pass he doesn't even realize it but he isn't getting any. Hehe I love WDW without kids! It allows is to do whatever we want and no little one dictating what we do!

[diznee25]

DH and I have been married for almost 9 years, and we don't have any children. I figured everyone here would understand the following:

Over the weekend, my SIL invited me to her (all women) Bunco group. One of their regulars had backed out, and I was asked to fill in.

It sounded like fun, so I went. There were 12 women there, including me. Of all of us, I was the only one who didn't have children. So what was the topic for 3 straight hours? That's right, kids! I did ask questions about everyone's kids, but after that, I didn't really have anything to contribute. And that's all they wanted to talk about. (School districts, hair cuts for babies, allergies your kid has, etc. They covered it all!) I tried to ask if anyone had pets, but that conversation lasted a minute, and it was back to their children.

When one of the women asked me if I had kids, and I said no, they kinda left me out of conversations. Made for an awkward night, at least for me. Because I would still smile and nod my head at whoever was talking, I 'forced' myself to be involved even though they wouldn't give me eye contact.

After talking to my SIL, it sounds like that was the common bond that brought this group together: they all have kids. So maybe that's why they didn't talk about anything else.

Oh, well. I did have fun, (at least while the game was going!), but this was my first experience being in a social group where I was the only childless one. As much as I made an effort to be interested in their conversations, it would have been nice if they could have found general topics to discuss with me too. Like, movies, music, etc. I'm not that hard to talk with!


Anyone have similar experiences?


diznee25

[zima-cheryl]

Originally Posted by diznee25

DH and I have been married for almost 9 years, and we don't have any children. I figured everyone here would understand the following:

Over the weekend, my SIL invited me to her (all women) Bunco group. One of their regulars had backed out, and I was asked to fill in.

It sounded like fun, so I went. There were 12 women there, including me. Of all of us, I was the only one who didn't have children. So what was the topic for 3 straight hours? That's right, kids! I did ask questions about everyone's kids, but after that, I didn't really have anything to contribute. And that's all they wanted to talk about. (School districts, hair cuts for babies, allergies your kid has, etc. They covered it all!) I tried to ask if anyone had pets, but that conversation lasted a minute, and it was back to their children.

When one of the women asked me if I had kids, and I said no, they kinda left me out of conversations. Made for an awkward night, at least for me. Because I would still smile and nod my head at whoever was talking, I 'forced' myself to be involved even though they wouldn't give me eye contact.

After talking to my SIL, it sounds like that was the common bond that brought this group together: they all have kids. So maybe that's why they didn't talk about anything else.

Oh, well. I did have fun, (at least while the game was going!), but this was my first experience being in a social group where I was the only childless one. As much as I made an effort to be interested in their conversations, it would have been nice if they could have found general topics to discuss with me too. Like, movies, music, etc. I'm not that hard to talk with!

Anyone have similar experiences?

diznee25

I have never been in such a large group but yes I have had that type of thing happen. It isn't just you.
Unfortunately, I guess what we feel are general topics, other folks don't. If you have kids I imagine if you do get to many movies or shows they are probably kid oriented.

I am guessing you won't be doing bunco again?

[diznee25]

Originally Posted by zima-cheryl

I have never been in such a large group but yes I have had that type of thing happen. It isn't just you.
Unfortunately, I guess what we feel are general topics, other folks don't. If you have kids I imagine if you do get to many movies or shows they are probably kid oriented.

I am guessing you won't be doing bunco again?

My SIL only asked this one time. I was just a fill-in for a member who couldn't make it. Very nice women, but obviously I have nothing in common with them. And it doesn't make sense to return to an awkward situation. So I'd probably pass.

Even my DH thought: If a group of women get together for food, margaritas, and Bunco, you'd think they would want to talk about other stuff besides their kids!

General topics go way beyond movies...we could have talked about makeup, food, clothes, the weather....I'd find it hard to believe that mom's have nothing else they would want to discuss! My 2 SIL's have kids, and I talk about everything under the sun with them.

Oh well. The one thing I learned was, if you're in a room with 11 women who only want to talk about one specific topic, there's nothing you can do to stop it! 3 straight hours of kid/baby talk....I couldn't believe it.

If my DH and I ever change our minds about having a baby, then I'll ask to join this Bunco group! They could probably give me more advice then any parenting book!

diznee25

[franandaj]

Wow diznee25! I have very few 3D friends who are actually breeders. In fact really only one couple that I can think of in our immediate circle (although our circumstances are pretty different from yours. However, we were out with them on Sat nite (and quite a few other CF folks, and they were really happy to talk about all kinds of things, nothing to do with their son. They did mention him and we told them about how a Disney cruise would be awesome for them to get some parent time, but I think you might have found a clique founded on their kids and they really HAVE no other interests. Good for them, hopefully they'll be the ones who teach their kids to look both ways before crossing the streets, and some manners and other things I could go off on.

Hopefully if they talk about their kids that much they will take the time to turn them into decent human beings and mot raise them like so many that live like wild animals.


I don't mean to beliddle your situation, I wouldn't go back to a game lime that either, in sure it was uncomfortable. After the first hour I would have been slogging the germ killer just to make the monotonous parenting conversation go by. I hope your sister didn't think she was going to "convert" you by giving you a clue into "what you COULD have!". I think she more showed you what you definitely want to stay away from!

[CruisingGoddess]

Are any of you widowed? My childfree role models are in their 60's and the husband passed away yesterday morning. DH and I had dinner tonight with the wife and she's broken-hearted of course. Her dog is her baby and she says that he is the best company but I feel really bad for her. While I don't doubt my decision to be childfree, it does make me wonder what I'd do with myself if DH passes away. If any of you have advice on how I can support her, I'd appreciate it. Right now, we're trying to find the right balance of being there and letting her mourn & get through this in private.

[zima-cheryl]

Originally Posted by CruisingGoddess

While I don't doubt my decision to be childfree, it does make me wonder what I'd do with myself if DH passes away.

One of those things we hate to think about, but have to think about.
We've covered the $$ stuff. Enough life insurance on either of us to pay off the house & cars. Not getting rich off the policy, but enough to set the survivor up debt free.
Mentally & emotionally, I can't begin to fathom it! I guess I would have to look to friends & family for support and help. And, sorry I know it is a cliche, but with time I imagine I'd begin to feel a little better & eventually get back out into the world.

Originally Posted by CruisingGoddess

If any of you have advice on how I can support her, I'd appreciate it. Right now, we're trying to find the right balance of being there and letting her mourn & get through this in private.

I've never lost a spouse, but from the times we've lost family, I do remember in the first week or two, food was so very much appriciated! By the time you get home at the end of the day not having to cook is a big help. My go-to is lasagna (sp?). I cook it ahead of time so folks can warm it up in the oven or microwave when they want a piece. But I remember getting sandwich plates, tuna casserole, etc. Basically anything that requires no work or just 30 secs in the microwave.

Beyond, that don't quit calling after the first week or two. People are there during that first week & see you at the funeral home & then nothing. Give her a call every 4 or 5 days & just see how she is doing. Follow her lead -- if she wants to stay home & cry, let her. If she wants to get out of the house, go with her.

[danijake]

Originally Posted by diznee25

So what was the topic for 3 straight hours? That's right, kids!

This sounds like a nightmare.
I honestly think once people have children, it takes over their lives. They don't really have hobbies anymore, unless it revolves around their children.

[diznee25]

Originally Posted by franandaj

Wow diznee25! I have very few 3D friends who are actually breeders. In fact really only one couple that I can think of in our immediate circle (although our circumstances are pretty different from yours. However, we were out with them on Sat nite (and quite a few other CF folks, and they were really happy to talk about all kinds of things, nothing to do with their son. They did mention him and we told them about how a Disney cruise would be awesome for them to get some parent time, but I think you might have found a clique founded on their kids and they really HAVE no other interests. Good for them, hopefully they'll be the ones who teach their kids to look both ways before crossing the streets, and some manners and other things I could go off on.

Hopefully if they talk about their kids that much they will take the time to turn them into decent human beings and mot raise them like so many that live like wild animals.


I don't mean to beliddle your situation, I wouldn't go back to a game lime that either, in sure it was uncomfortable. After the first hour I would have been slogging the germ killer just to make the monotonous parenting conversation go by. I hope your sister didn't think she was going to "convert" you by giving you a clue into "what you COULD have!". I think she more showed you what you definitely want to stay away from!

You hit the nail on the head. By what I observed, that was the glue that holds that Bunco group together; kids.

It's quite funny, DH and I have been very vocal about not having children. However, we just moved closer to his family....only 5 minutes from his siblings and parents! MIL thinks we moved closer to start a family. Really we moved where we did, because DH's dad owns a few rental properties, and rent is really cheap! Plus, we couldn't find any Landlord who was ok with us having 2 dogs....my FIL loves our dogs, so it worked out! My MIL has been laying it on pretty thick for her "favorite child", (my DH), to have a baby. So she's always getting us to babysit our nephews, and I'm sure that's why his sister invited me to Bunco.

If I had children, that night would have been way more fun! But what can you do. They have kids, and I don't. Nothing wrong with either side, but it's amazing to see that socialization divide. Nonetheless, I piled on a few margaritas! That definitely helped!

By the way, a few weeks ago I was hanging out with MIL and my nephew (7 months old). As I was holding my nephew and playing with him, my MIL says, "Michelle, it's so nice to see you with a baby instead of dogs." She's referring to my and DH's dogs; we've had dogs for 8 years.

I can't believe after 9 years of marriage that we're still going through this. Guess it won't end until I'm 50! Oh, well. Such is the CF lifestyle!

diznee25