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-   -   So very sad- should I go to Disney anyway?? (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3022105)

Lizboo 11-16-2012 05:55 AM

So very sad- should I go to Disney anyway??
 
My DH of 15 years told me less than 2 weeks ago that he is no longer in love with me. We had a trip scheduled for WDW Dec 5-9. He cancelled his flight and said I should take a friend. Well, less than 3 weeks out, it is not possible.

My gut says to go alone. Financially, I won't be able to go like we did in the past and I should enjoy it, but I am just going to miserable the entire time?

We were together almost 20 years. Can a WDW trip help heal my breaking heart or is it just going to make it worse?

Any ideas on how to make it less lonely?

TIA
Elizabeth

Pumbaa7287 11-16-2012 07:56 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about this liz, and I'm sure it's been extraordinarily tough to deal with. I can only imagine how it must feel to be with someone for so long to have this happen somewhat suddenly like that. My advice would be to still go. You don't want to let this sadness dominate the rest of your life, so there's no need to let it do so now. Even if it seems a bit soon, I feel like the trip would be a great way for you to at least get your mind off things for a bit and remember what it's like to have fun! When I've gone to Disney with family or alone, I always end up meeting new and fun people whether it's in line or walking around the parks, and I'm sure it will be no different for you!

That being said, only you know how you will feel while at the park, and if you think it will be too much for you to handle, then you need to make that choice. Sending lots of ((hugs)) and prayer your way as you go through a difficult time.

Lizboo 11-16-2012 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumbaa7287 (Post 46722026)
I'm so sorry to hear about this liz, and I'm sure it's been extraordinarily tough to deal with. I can only imagine how it must feel to be with someone for so long to have this happen somewhat suddenly like that. My advice would be to still go. You don't want to let this sadness dominate the rest of your life, so there's no need to let it do so now. Even if it seems a bit soon, I feel like the trip would be a great way for you to at least get your mind off things for a bit and remember what it's like to have fun! When I've gone to Disney with family or alone, I always end up meeting new and fun people whether it's in line or walking around the parks, and I'm sure it will be no different for you!

That being said, only you know how you will feel while at the park, and if you think it will be too much for you to handle, then you need to make that choice. Sending lots of ((hugs)) and prayer your way as you go through a difficult time.

Thank you very much

kwdw 11-16-2012 08:29 AM

Sorry to hear about your news. :(

I find solo trips (Disney or anywhere) - give me time to reflect on my own life in a more "open" manner because I am not in my normal environment. The change of place, instead of being in the normal daily routine, gives me freedom to reflect.

So - I would say GO!

I also find that doing I something I love reminds me that I am my own person and my life is my own - I am not just half of a couple.

Now - I do admit, when in France (Epcot) at dusk and watching the couples head off to dinner - I have be lonely. I now avoid World Showcase later in the evening when traveling alone. So - now I do the World Showcase area starting at 11 am and be done with it by late afternoon. That's just feels like the most "couples/adults" area of Disney at night.

Pumbaa7287 11-16-2012 08:53 AM

And if you need people to talk about your planning with and get you excited, you have a great place here!

Rememberingthe70s 11-16-2012 02:38 PM

I'd think of it as a great opportunity to spend some time with yourself in a lovely place. Enjoy the parks without pressure from anyone else, spend a day touring the resorts and stop for a bit at one you've never been to, find some really beautiful places on property and take a nice, slow stroll, explore places you never had the time to before.

I get a month of vacation per year, more than my spouse, so I make a solo trip each year. (One coming up in January!) If you think you'll need some company, schedule a few meet-ups with folks from the board.

I really have a lovely time when I'm there alone. :flower3:

SwimBikeRun 11-16-2012 02:46 PM

I am so sorry this is happening to you! Been there myself, but it was after 8 years of marriage, 14 together and 2 kids.

I hope you go! You will have fun. I know that right now it feels like you'll never laugh or be happy again but that isn't true. It will happen and it will be sooner than you think! Do not be afraid to ask your doctor for medication (anti depressants/anxiety) if you think you need it.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like!

jayrueck2wdw 11-18-2012 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizboo (Post 46721121)
My DH of 15 years told me less than 2 weeks ago that he is no longer in love with me. We had a trip scheduled for WDW Dec 5-9. He cancelled his flight and said I should take a friend. Well, less than 3 weeks out, it is not possible.

My gut says to go alone. Financially, I won't be able to go like we did in the past and I should enjoy it, but I am just going to miserable the entire time?

We were together almost 20 years. Can a WDW trip help heal my breaking heart or is it just going to make it worse?

Any ideas on how to make it less lonely?

TIA
Elizabeth


Sorry to hear Elizabeth.
I too am currently in the process of getting a divorce. My spouse was never a fan of WDW so I've only been twice in the last 10 years.
All I know is that I would much rather be in Disney and (trying) to enjoy what I love than staying home and wallowing in sadness.
Sure there will be the lonely times, but that occasional smile eating a Dole Whip or catching Illuminations sure beats sitting on the couch at home thinking about what-ifs and too-bads.
Go, enjoy. Wish my situation would allow me to take a solo trip.

Good Luck & Wishes!

Jay

Missytara 11-19-2012 04:32 PM

Take a couple of books and a box of kleenexes. Take your time getting ready in the morning, allow yourself interaction with people when you feel like it.

If the mood strikes you, allow yourself to laugh at every possible moment possible. If you see something that takes your breath away or moves you, let the happy tears flow.

Treat yourself to some nice meals and some nice evenings strolls back to your room at the resort. Read, read, read and feel the emotion.

Have a wonderful time and then deal with it all when you get back. It will still be there and it will get better.

BayouBelle77 11-19-2012 05:11 PM

Elizabeth,

I'm so very sorry to hear this news.

May I just say, GO GO GO to Disney solo! I was supposed to go with my boyfriend of three years in February 2009. We broke up four days before we were to leave and I was going to cancel the trip. I woke up the morning after the break-up and thought "Why should my trip be ruined because of him? I'm going anyway." Well I am so glad I made the decision to still go. I had a fantastic time, even though it was only a three day trip. I had some moments of wistfulness and sadness, but mostly I was very distracted by the Disney magic. I also felt sort of empowered that I had made it happen by myself when in the past, I had always gone with him or with my family.

While there, I learned that being there without him was not necessarily a bad thing. When we went together, I had to be considerate of his feelings and do the things he wanted to do, even if I didn't enjoy them. All of a sudden I had no obligation to ride the Astro-Orbiter with him, which let me tell you, I didn't miss at all. I enjoyed lunch at the San Angel Inn without having to listen to him complain about how the food wasn't the same as his favorite Tex-Mex place at home. I got to take as much time as I wanted shopping for souvenirs without having to worry about his being bored. I got much more done in the parks because I only stopped when I needed a restroom or a snack break. In short, it was so nice being able to enjoy WDW without having to accommodate someone else's needs.

Some of the things I did to make it less lonely: Treated myself to a few nice dinners at Flying Fish Cafe, Fulton's and Jiko and sat at the bar or counter so I could chat with the bartender or chef or fellow diner. While at Jiko I was seated at the chef's counter next to a lady who was recently divorced. We struck up a conversation and talked the whole evening. Whenever I was in line for a ride, if there was a small child next to me in line, I would give her one of my Disney pins. In the afternoons when the parks were especially crowded, I would take the monorail or bus to a resort I had never been to and I would just look around. One thing I have never done but would like to: take one of the special tours like the Keys to the Kingdom tour or the Behind the Seeds tour.

Going on the trip anyway was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have taken two more solo trips since that post-breakup trip. I probably never would have gone alone had I not made myself go on the post-breakup trip. Going solo is very different than going with someone else but I have really come to enjoy it. I'm dating someone new now but am trying to plan a solo trip soon anyway because I have had such a great time going by myself.

msbiscuit 11-19-2012 07:44 PM

By all means, go to Disney! Enjoy the holiday decorations and the special holiday treats. Talk to folks if the spirit strikes you. Do things you enjoy without having to worry about someone else's needs and wants.
I know how difficult it is to take that first trip alone - in my case it was after losing both my mother and my sister. I still feel a little sad when I see things/places we enjoyed, but it gets a little better each time.
Divorce is tough, it takes time for your heart and soul to heal. Don't deprive yourself of something you enjoy because of it.

artnerds 11-19-2012 07:51 PM

Go.

Surround yourself with beauty and laughter and music.

Be silly when you want to. Be sad when you need to.

Talk and laugh with strangers.

Do something alone that you NEVER would have done otherwise.

Will it heal your heart? No. But it will show you that you are strong and can create happiness without relying on another person to give it to you.

karice2 11-19-2012 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artnerds (Post 46748543)
Go.

Surround yourself with beauty and laughter and music.

Be silly when you want to. Be sad when you need to.

Talk and laugh with strangers.

Do something alone that you NEVER would have done otherwise.

Will it heal your heart? No. But it will show you that you are strong and can create happiness without relying on another person to give it to you.

I love this. Really love it.

I broke up with my ex of 7 years while I was in the middle of a solo trip. Let me just say being in Disney helped me to not wallow in sadness. People told me how great I looked after crying all night.

Go and have a great time. You won't regret it.

artnerds 11-19-2012 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karice2 (Post 46748668)
i love this. Really love it.

Aw shucks. :blush:

js 11-20-2012 06:11 PM

So sorry you had to hear this news from your dh.
I have been married over 20 years and with my dh for almost 30 but I guess I'm not a fully trusting person. The reason I say this is that will your dh (substitute the "d" in dh for any other "d" word LOL :rotfl2:) be home while you are away?

Are you giving him 5 days to clean out the house and bank accounts?
While I have no experience in this, I am not sure if I would leave the house until he (or you) were out.


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