Bridesmaids or no bridesmaids

Hi there!

I was in a similar boat to you for our wedding. I had a wedding with Disney cruise line and I was torn about having bridesmaids as well. I decided to only have a maid of honor, and that was it. However, since you said your spots are going to be mostly taken up by family, and that your bridesmaids are understanding but still would like to come down and be a part of everything, why not do a sort of "bachelorette" party the day before the wedding in one of the parks with your friends, and maybe do a dessert party or something with just them that night? That way you could still have a special day celebrating with them but you wouldn't have to worry about your guest count!

Ok... So take it from someone who is about to be a maid of honour for the 5th time next month... It ain't all it cracked up to be.. Lol.
Obviously I'm 'honoured' and all that but seriously it's a lot of pressure...
Anyway, the point of my post... They may not want to be bridesmaid or have the pressure of organising stuff, especially as they will never understand as much as you about a Disney wedding if you're anything like most Disney brides who like to 'über plan'.
Plus you have a cast iron excuse, limited numbers etc.
If you want to meet up after the ceremony and cake celebration, an escape wedding is max. 2 hours in total so it's not a huge amount of time.
Really hope you manage to navigate through this one...

While I chose to have my 2 best friends in the wedding (much easier than 8, I'll grant you that), I have extended family in this boat - wanted to come to Disney and be a part of the overall celebration but knew they couldn't come to the ceremony. We're doing a dessert party the night before everyone, a small brunch for non-ceremony goers in one of the DVC villas during the ceremony, and then lunch for everyone at Morimoto after the ceremony.

I've never been a bridesmaid (my 2 closest friends haven't gotten married) but I've been to tons of my sorority sisters' weddings as a not-bridesmaid-but-close-friend-anyways guest. I still had nice experiences with the bride and it's saved me tons of money that my sisters who were bridesmaids paid on shoes, dresses, etc. I totally recommend it.

I would call them in, tell them the time/places they can come and ask what they want, as they might not all have the same opinion.

It is nice you want them to be there for the special moments in the hotel room getting the bride ready, but at some point the girls have to see you leave with your family. I would expect an anti climax in the room for those left behind, so I would be apprehensive to be there for the getting ready. I personally would rather be there for a bachelorette party or a dinner or time in the park.

Also what are they gonna wear as they won't be getting ready but will be in the getting ready pictures? Do you want them to be dressed up, would it be in full hair and make up in your wedding colors? And at what time is your ceremony, I have read reports where hair and make up artists for the bride arrive in the middle of the night. If the girls cannot attend the wedding, do they want to get up early (I know it's not a huge effort, but for some it might be an issue so better be clear about it from the start)

When you have sorted out who wants to come when, ask them who wants to help with the preparations, but also here, keep them in mind. Planning a party you cannot attend yourself is not fun, it's like Cinderella. I would ask them for help with the things they can attend.

I would have called them after all they have been with you for more than 10 years. They are your friends call them and let them enjoy your wedding. If you don't want to call them as your bridesmaid than call them as your guests. Weddings are special and your friends will make it more special for you.

I had a wedding with NO bridesmaids. ALL of my friends were SO supportive. They were thrilled that I was having the wedding EXACTLY that I wanted and where I wanted and have been the most amazing people EVER. This was a little because my friends had often had so much "family wants this" imposed on their weddings and they were SO happy to see me getting it exactly as we wanted it. We had an AWESOME Bridal shower and loads of fun and they all wished me well and sure I could have done with a little help on the day beyond my mother as she got frazzled. But it was SO cool not having a bridesmaids to be honest. It made the day simpler and easier. My husband's brother wasn't going to be able to make it which had secured my decision anyway as we felt it was just perfect small and just us at the altar.

I also had an Escape wedding. We have a small family so I was able to have a couple friends at the wedding but decided against having a bridal party of any sort. It just would have been weird because I am equally close to the friends that came, plus I had my one and only cousin (who is a female) so I really would have had to have her in the wedding as well. So, we would have had like 5 bridesmaids out of 18 wedding guests. And then my brother's fiance and my fiance's sister-in-law would have been family who were left out...and by nature, I want to be sure to be inclusive so it seriously would have ended up with more than half the wedding attendees being in the bridal party. So, it was just us. My oldest friend did a reading at the wedding. I am not sure if anyone was upset. This may sound very selfish, but, I really did not care. I waited a long time to get married, my fiancee just wanted to elope so we compromised on the Escape wedding. My friends were all very happy for me, and most, super excited to come celebrate with us. One of the huge selling features of the Escape wedding was the simplicity of it...not dealing with having a bridal party, picking out dresses, getting their hair done, getting them gifts, etc just made it that much better. The morning of my wedding, when it was just me and my wonderful, kind, calming hair and makeup person in my room, I was super glad that I didn't have to worry about anyone else. We hosted a bridal tea the day before the wedding at the Grand Floridian with all those ladies (and my Mom and Aunt) and a whole bunch of other events, some of which we paid for, others we did not...so, I really don't think that anyone felt that they weren't "special" enough. I think the post above about a bachelorette party or tea for your friends who do travel down (even though they can't attend the wedding) seems like a great compromise. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.