How much would you lie for your kids?

[lauradis]

I am glad everything was so cut and dry and perfect for you, I really am.. But you seem to put everyone in the same category, and it is quite rude.. I was always taught to be a little more proud and have a little more compassion because you just never know.. I grew up poorer than poor, but my attitude is far from yours.

I myself am far from poor, and far from rich.. At the age of 40 found myself clinging to life after emergency brain surgery.. I had to undergo another, and then another spine to just survive, and then I suffered a stroke during the last one.. I will NEVER work ago, due to permanent memory loss, and the fact that my condition will constantly return.. I am NOT alone, there ARE MANY like me.. I want nobody's compassion.. It is what it is.. But at the age of 40, in the middle of my career, I was not earning triple figure, I am fortunate to have been working in a good company with private insurance, which I will have until 65, until pension kicks in.. Sadly my husband got laid off this summer. It came as a shock.. We have a daughter in private school and one in college, so this can't stay the case for long.

We were working smart to better ourselves. Although, that doesn't even make sense to me... I don't expect you to even admit or acknowledge what you have written, but you should never try to judge anyone, you just never do know what battle people are facing my dear..

but isn't that what people are doing to me, for saying I'm proud?

Life isn't simple, nor has it been easy.

I'm very thankful that I have never had a major illness, yet.

Basically what your saying is I shouldn't say I'm proud of what we have built because other people haven't, because life has knocked them down.

 

[mommasita]

but isn't that what people are doing to me, for saying I'm proud?

Life isn't simple, nor has it been easy.

I'm very thankful that I have never had a major illness, yet.

Basically what your saying is I shouldn't say I'm proud of what we have built because other people haven't, because life has knocked them down.

Why are you getting others into YOUR comment? Be proud all day and night. I am as well.. I have come a long way myself, but I don't look down on a soul. I know personally how life can change in a minute..

If this is what you get about what I said, you really don't get it.. at all.. LIfe has only knocked me down medically BTW..

I quote you here: I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull.

THIS is what I was talking about, only this..

 

[sasywtch]

But there is difference between "school of residence" and the school they live next to. The IB and Fundamental High schools only admit students who go through a process, apply and take a test. So kids can life next to that high school and not get in.

I was just going to mention the fundamental school but see you just did. My DIL lives way far away and graduated from the green/gold one by you. My grandson goes to a fundamental 5 miles away while he has a school down the street, whereas a kid across from that fundamental has to go 6 blocks away instead of just walking across the street.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Why are you getting others into YOUR comment? Be proud all day and night. I am as well.. I have come a long way myself, but I don't look down on a soul. I know personally how life can change in a minute..

If this is what you get about what I said, you really don't get it.. at all.. LIfe has only knocked me down medically BTW..

I quote you here: I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull.

THIS is what I was talking about, only this..

This right here, I had to quote what you quoted. What nonsense, " I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull"

I did what I did to break any chance that my kids would live in poverty. How many times do I have to say I was working 12 hr days and going to college.

I sat right at that kitchen table night after night doing homework next to my kids. They learned something right there. How is this NOT working smart ?

Pulled ourselves out of a life situation that was caused by a man-child husband/father. The only poor choice I made in life was the person I met at 16 and thought I would spend the rest of my life with. So much judgment so much condemning.

Are people really so clueless that they don't see how a woman and her children are thrown into financial ruin when a man bails ? There but for the grace of God or luck or whatever you ( GENERAL You ) want to call it but don't you DARE say you are smarter, work harder, or voice that you would NEVER.

Call me a liar, call me a thief, call me riff-raff, or state that I think I am above riff-raff. I would walk through fire for my kids, eat glass, whatever it takes to keep them safe and give them a better chance at life. Obviously it worked.

Ignorance knows no economic boundaries apparently.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

This right here, I had to quote what you quoted. What nonsense, " I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull"

I did what I did to break any chance that my kids would live in poverty. How many times do I have to say I was working 12 hr days and going to college.

I sat right at that kitchen table night after night doing homework next to my kids. They learned something right there. How is this NOT working smart ?

Pulled ourselves out of a life situation that was caused by a man-child husband/father. The only poor choice I made in life was the person I met at 16 and thought I would spend the rest of my life with. So much judgment so much condemning.

Are people really so clueless that they don't see how a woman and her children are thrown into financial ruin when a man bails ? There but for the grace of God or luck or whatever you ( GENERAL You ) want to call it but don't you DARE say you are smarter, work harder, or voice that you would NEVER.

Call me a liar, call me a thief, call me riff-raff, or state that I think I am above riff-raff. I would walk through fire for my kids, eat glass, whatever it takes to keep them safe and give them a better chance at life. Obviously it worked.

Ignorance knows no economic boundaries apparently.

What I don't understand is instead of lying, why couldn't you go to the district and make arrangements to pay the out of district fee? I know your income was limited, but if you presented it to the school in a calm professional way, I would think many schools would have worked with you. Instead you are promoting working outside of the rules, lying, and not feeling remorse. How about after you did get yourself out of school offering to reimburse the school.

I stated it before our school district has a person on payroll to find parents who did what you did. Your children would have been caught and embarrassed in front of their friends. You would have been brought up on charges and possibly get convicted causing you to lose student aid, jobs etc.

I don't think you should be shut out from trying to get your child the best you can, but why couldn't you do it legally?

 

[Tiggeroo]

What I don't understand is instead of lying, why couldn't you go to the district and make arrangements to pay the out of district fee? I know your income was limited, but if you presented it to the school in a calm professional way, I would think many schools would have worked with you. Instead you are promoting working outside of the rules, lying, and not feeling remorse. How about after you did get yourself out of school offering to reimburse the school.

I stated it before our school district has a person on payroll to find parents who did what you did. Your children would have been caught and embarrassed in front of their friends. You would have been brought up on charges and possibly get convicted causing you to lose student aid, jobs etc.

I don't think you should be shut out from trying to get your child the best you can, but why couldn't you do it legally?

again not advocating this choice. However, here no a school would not work with you. They may not take you if you had all the money but they definitely wouldn't lower it for you.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Why are you getting others into YOUR comment? Be proud all day and night. I am as well.. I have come a long way myself, but I don't look down on a soul. I know personally how life can change in a minute..

If this is what you get about what I said, you really don't get it.. at all.. LIfe has only knocked me down medically BTW..

I quote you here: I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull.

THIS is what I was talking about, only this..

She was called to task several pages back. She is simply defending herself. Her comment is not for situations such as yours but for the general situations of a population that gets the crappy schools.
Not once was she attacking those with medical difficulties. She is referring to a systemic problem that prompts the topic at hand.

You don't have to agree with her assessment. But getting offended by one statement out of context is not fair either. It seems you don't get what she was trying to say for that reason. Because she certainly was not attacking you.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

This right here, I had to quote what you quoted. What nonsense, " I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull"

I did what I did to break any chance that my kids would live in poverty. How many times do I have to say I was working 12 hr days and going to college.

I sat right at that kitchen table night after night doing homework next to my kids. They learned something right there. How is this NOT working smart ?

Pulled ourselves out of a life situation that was caused by a man-child husband/father. The only poor choice I made in life was the person I met at 16 and thought I would spend the rest of my life with. So much judgment so much condemning.

Are people really so clueless that they don't see how a woman and her children are thrown into financial ruin when a man bails ? There but for the grace of God or luck or whatever you ( GENERAL You ) want to call it but don't you DARE say you are smarter, work harder, or voice that you would NEVER.

Call me a liar, call me a thief, call me riff-raff, or state that I think I am above riff-raff. I would walk through fire for my kids, eat glass, whatever it takes to keep them safe and give them a better chance at life. Obviously it worked.

Ignorance knows no economic boundaries apparently.

Oh please.

If we are going to go around calling people clueless for not tolerating your actions...own the decision or not. But people are not "clueless" for disagreeing with your choice to lie for whatever reasons you have validated your choices.

It seems on one hand you have no issue, but then on the other you are extremely defensive of it. People confident they did the right thing don't have to go around repeating themselves and their entire story. You lied. For some, it ends right there. Others have patted you on the back for it.

Before preaching that those who disagree with you might be ignorant, try walking a mile in their shoes for once. I believe that was the advice you gave in your original post.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

What I don't understand is instead of lying, why couldn't you go to the district and make arrangements to pay the out of district fee? I know your income was limited, but if you presented it to the school in a calm professional way, I would think many schools would have worked with you. Instead you are promoting working outside of the rules, lying, and not feeling remorse. How about after you did get yourself out of school offering to reimburse the school.

I stated it before our school district has a person on payroll to find parents who did what you did. Your children would have been caught and embarrassed in front of their friends. You would have been brought up on charges and possibly get convicted causing you to lose student aid, jobs etc.

I don't think you should be shut out from trying to get your child the best you can, but why couldn't you do it legally?

again not advocating this choice. However, here no a school would not work with you. They may not take you if you had all the money but they definitely wouldn't lower it for you.

Pretty sure it was not an option for that poster and is not in many areas.

Schools of choice and magnet schools might be an option. But one is lottery based. The documentary Superman covers that. And magnet schools are contingent upon an application. I went to a magnet high school because the one I was zoned for was not very good. We got lucky that they were still accepting applications when we moved there and that I could make the last testing date. If I didn't get it, I would have gone to the not so good school. But the application was accepted, thankfully.

But these options aren't available in some areas or create new hardships. Mine was paying for an expensive chartered school bus. Not sure if that occurs in other areas or if busses are provided.

 

[Happy Snowman]

We've lived in several states, some with school choice, some without. Outside of a relative handful of people, most families go to their zoned schools. You see more movement when there are choices for high schools within a district but not as much moving from one district to another, mainly because of logistics. It's rare to get busing for out of district schools and its not easy to drive back and forth if both parents work. It is a nice option to have and I'm a little surprised more states do not offer this choice. Schools on both ends benefit from having this option and it alleviates the oversight for cases like the OP has witnessed. It is especially helpful at keeping enrollment levels more constant through a district so you don't have one school that is packed to the gills and others that have room for more students.

 

[Poohforyou]

Oh come on- just because someone lives in a district and pays taxes and doesn't have kids doesn't mean they can sign up kids who should be going to other schools into their district. That is just an excuse to make it seem lying is right.



I have never seen nor heard of these portables until here on the Dis.

Trust me, Long Island is not immune to school overcrowding and temporary solutions like trailers and portable buildings.

 

[Poohforyou]

again not advocating this choice. However, here no a school would not work with you. They may not take you if you had all the money but they definitely wouldn't lower it for you.

You honestly can say this for every district is nj or even every district near you. Our district is attracting talented youth from lower performing districts.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Pretty sure it was not an option for that poster and is not in many areas.

Schools of choice and magnet schools might be an option. But one is lottery based. The documentary Superman covers that. And magnet schools are contingent upon an application. I went to a magnet high school because the one I was zoned for was not very good. We got lucky that they were still accepting applications when we moved there and that I could make the last testing date. If I didn't get it, I would have gone to the not so good school. But the application was accepted, thankfully.

But these options aren't available in some areas or create new hardships. Mine was paying for an expensive chartered school bus. Not sure if that occurs in other areas or if busses are provided.

From what I read Florida does have the out of district option in at least the High Schools. So it may have been an option. This was directly from the Florida state of Education.

 

[Luvchefmic]

From what I read Florida does have the out of district option in at least the High Schools. So it may have been an option. This was directly from the Florida state of Education.

In FL now, this happened in NY 30 + years ago just to clarify.

 

[NewRVLady]

I have no shame that I can afford to buy a nice house in a nice district. I have worked long and smart to get here. What I find disturbing is finical success is demonized.

Yeah I do too-but guess what many cant
Many who are well educated and make good $$

My son and DIL live in between the two most expensive real estate cities in the uSA=one is Greenwich CT .
They are both educated and have great jobs-but not enough to buy amongst the Kathy lee Gifford mansions of Greenwich
their public schools are where all the store clerks and hotel maids and staff kids go to school. All the rest go to private school
Housing prices are 2x what a house cost where I live-I simply don't know how they will ever get in a good school district and buy

 

[Tiggeroo]

I live in a very good district with a school that some people think is even better next town over. However there is also a very, very bad district here that I would never send my kids to. The school I work at is an urban district that has issues, however if parents are involved and students can make it into at least the honors level they will be offered a very good education and lots of extra-curriculars. There are several districts that will accept out of district students. However, they are only from a pre-approved list. For example, the district I live in will currently accept students from the district I work in. But even though it is a new school with shrinking enrollment and would like to take more students the state limits how many they can take. Two years ago, I believe they took 15 which was accidentally too many. Therefore for several years they can't take any. The exception, I believe is siblings of current students. The one district that I wouldn't send my children too has problems of violence and has been taken over by the state for poor performance and financial mishandling. There is actually one upper-middle class town there along with a good deal of working, low income families. Children who go here will not get a good education. The few schools that may allow their children to attempt to attend are quite a distance for working parents. I know families from this school use other addresses to send their kids to my school.

 

[JanaDee]

Where did I say others where dumb lazy poor people. You know whats really funny, I grow up in those "bad" schools. So yes I made a choice to never have my children live in poverty. Please explain to me how it is wrong to be proud of what me and my husband have built over 22 years. Why is it wrong to say "I have earned this proudly" I never said poor people don't work hard, I will agree they aren't working smart, to better themselves to get our of poverty and don't give me the line of they can't. that's pure bull.

Thank you for proving my point.

 

[luvsJack]

How about we stop making it a rich vs poor thing? It shouldn't be that way.

Now, I don't have a problem with portable classrooms. Dd takes an English class in one now. Space in most schools has been a problem for forever. I wouldn't lie or change schools based on that.

What I do have an issue with is one public school not having the money for the proper text books or the technology that another public school has. IMO, the problem is not the haves and the have nots its the fact that no money is spent on the schools doing without.

All kids deserve an equal footing and an equal education. If a school needs a police officer on duty, then the school should have it. Kids deserve to feel safe at school. If the school needs a computer lab, then they should have it. If the school hasn't had new text books in so long that their books are no longer relevant, then they should have them.

There will always be poor neighborhoods and rich neighborhoods. There will always be kids living in poverty. Those things cannot be made equal. But every school having the same opportunities for the same education should be. If we want to give every child the chance to educate and work themselves out of poverty then we need to give them that chance.

Education should be the most important thing, not who can afford to live in the most affluent neighborhood.




BTW, I wouldn't pat myself on the back about "earning" the right school for my kids. My parents worked hard for 25-30 years to have the house we had in the area we had it in. It WAS the affluent area. And then the school lines changed. So, yes, you really should be thinking "there but by the Grace of God, go I".

 

[Poohforyou]

It isn't always a rich vs poor thing. We moved from a horrible district performance wise. Our reason for moving was strictly for a better school district. The income range between our old district and our current one isn't much different. There are probably more people where we are in the top end of the range than the bottom but it isn't a huge disparity.

There are many factors involved in a high performing district. It isn't all about money.

 

[daughtersrus]

I know more than one person who has just forged a rental agreement to get into our district. You no longer need a utility bill if you are "renting" an apartment in the home of someone else.

How about another piece of mail like a bill, bank statement or even a magazine?

In our district you can notify people that you suspect are not living in the district. The enrollment officer will investigate and watch the house. On more than one occasion they have found students being brought to the house in the morning.