How much would you lie for your kids?

[Luvchefmic]

What I find disturbing about this thread is that some feel that you should only be entitled to go to a good school if you can afford to, that if you want the better school, you should buy a better home. This is impossible for some. And the attitude scares me. The way it's going, only the affluent will be able to afford an education. Is that what everyone wants?? My children go to school in a great district, however, if I couldn't afford to live here, I can say with absolute certainty that I would lie to get my kids in a better district. You can condemn me for it all you want, I don't care! I pay plenty in taxes, but who am I to say that someone that makes less money than my husband, therefore buys a less expensive house, is not entitled to as good an education as my child. Flame away!!

If your child's education is important to you than you need to make the sacrifices necessary to make that happen legally and honestly. You buy or rent the smallest house on the least desirable street in the best school district you can. In our district you can get a 2 bedroom condo near the highway for just under $200k all the way up to multi-million dollar sprawling mansions. I'll be damned if someone sneaks in and takes resources away from my child when they could be here legally if they made the right choices.

Single parent to 2 kids born in the 1970-s Married to their father who walked out, broke my behind working 12 hr days at $4.25 hr as an EMT and carrying college courses. Damn right I lied, everytime we had to move due to greedy slum lords raising the rent higher and higher and a father that forged rent receipts ( while living with his momma) to up his expenses on paper resulting in child support of $220 PER MONTH for 2 children. Yes I lied and would do it again....walk a mile in someone elses shoes and then see what you would do. If it makes you feel better I wasn't a welfare statistic.

 

[Coonhound]

What I don't understand is the mentality of "I want to have the benefits, but not pay for it" If you live in an area with higher taxes you usually have more benefits. You can't live in a place where you don't have to pay the taxes but get the same resources as the people who ARE paying the taxes.

Our area schools have a lot of resources and we have a Rec center with all kinds of great things.
Kids from the neighboring city come to our rec center and their parents want to join, but they get upset when we tell them the non-resident fees are quite a bit higher than what residents pay.
We explain to them that the resident fees are less, because residents are paying taxes to the building, and non-residents don't pay taxes to us, so to make up for that, their membership fees are higher.
Then they complain that they have to come to our rec center because their city doesn't offer a rec center...but every time they have tax votes they vote against higher taxes, so it's no wonder they don't have the things our city has.
I mean, you can't get things for free. SOMEONE has to pay for it: It makes sense that the areas with higher taxes have more resources. It isn't right to go to another district and use their resources while your tax money is going somewhere else.

 

[disykat]

OP-how would you even KNOW this?
I have no clue what schools my neighbors kids attend, unless they are wearing a specific private school uniform

This suprises me. I don't consider our neighborhood particularly friendly, but out of 27 homes I can tell you exactly which houses have kids and where they go to school.

 

[Callie]

Not quite sure what my mom did, but when I was in elementary school, I was listed under my Grandmas address. She worked for the school corporation.

To her defense, it made more sense for us to go to the school down the street from our grandmothers, since when my mom went to work every morning, we got dropped at my grandma's. We also went there after school until my mom got off. I would always forget what I was suppose to say as my address.

One thing that is different than the OP, is that we were in the same school corporation, just a different school zone than where we would have been had our home address been used.

 

[lauradis]

What I find disturbing about this thread is that some feel that you should only be entitled to go to a good school if you can afford to, that if you want the better school, you should buy a better home. This is impossible for some. And the attitude scares me. The way it's going, only the affluent will be able to afford an education. Is that what everyone wants?? My children go to school in a great district, however, if I couldn't afford to live here, I can say with absolute certainty that I would lie to get my kids in a better district. You can condemn me for it all you want, I don't care! I pay plenty in taxes, but who am I to say that someone that makes less money than my husband, therefore buys a less expensive house, is not entitled to as good an education as my child. Flame away!!

Every child should have a good education period, on that we can agree.

Here is the reality part, the higher priced houses are in the good school districts most of the time. The rules are set up that way.

I have no shame that I can afford to buy a nice house in a nice district. I have worked long and smart to get here. What I find disturbing is finical success is demonized.

 

[Poohforyou]

Single parent to 2 kids born in the 1970-s Married to their father who walked out, broke my behind working 12 hr days at $4.25 hr as an EMT and carrying college courses. Damn right I lied, everytime we had to move due to greedy slum lords raising the rent higher and higher and a father that forged rent receipts ( while living with his momma) to up his expenses on paper resulting in child support of $220 PER MONTH for 2 children. Yes I lied and would do it again....walk a mile in someone elses shoes and then see what you would do. If it makes you feel better I wasn't a welfare statistic.

I'm sorry about your situation and really feel for what you went through but it doesn't make the lying and theft of services right. People justify breaking the law everyday to get/do what they want it still doesn't negate their actions.

Your story could help other women make sure they have marketable skills to support a family before having children and staying home. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Single parent to 2 kids born in the 1970-s Married to their father who walked out, broke my behind working 12 hr days at $4.25 hr as an EMT and carrying college courses. Damn right I lied, everytime we had to move due to greedy slum lords raising the rent higher and higher and a father that forged rent receipts ( while living with his momma) to up his expenses on paper resulting in child support of $220 PER MONTH for 2 children. Yes I lied and would do it again....walk a mile in someone elses shoes and then see what you would do. If it makes you feel better I wasn't a welfare statistic.

My mom lied for me. She mistakenly moved off of district and realized to late.
This have me anxiety because I didn't to be caught. Unfortunately my brother was. She was able to figure out a solution to get us back in district.

I would not lie for my kids.

No one needs to walk a mile on anyone's shoes to realize the impact of lying. I have no interest on teachings child to lie.

My mom wasn't a welfare statistic either. But her pay was low when she was single and she always chose to live far from work and commute to the base because the situation was never any good near the bases. This unfortunately meant cuts on other areas.

I still wouldn't lie for my kids. My mom shouldn't have lied either.

 

[NewRVLady]

This suprises me. I don't consider our neighborhood particularly friendly, but out of 27 homes I can tell you exactly which houses have kids and where they go to school.

30 years ago in Neighborhood #1 I knew this stuff

20 years ago when we moved here-I knew most of the kids on this street-they have grown and on their own, parents still here-empty nesters

Now there are a few new families with small kids-and being an empty nester, I don't know


BUT -if this lady is tricking the system, I doubt SHE is sharing this info
Just wonder how the OP knows-that's all

 

[Christine]

I wouldn't lie because I wouldn't be able to sleep at night worrying about if my kids would get caught and then have to change. How traumatic would that be?

I realize that schools run differently all over the country so I can only speak to my area.

Our schools are run by the county. So one county can be vastly different from another (and those counties can be very close to each other); however, within the county, the curriculum and the resources are the same.

Where I live, I was zoned for a great elementary school and a pretty crappy middle and high school. I didn't realize this when I moved into the house (my fault) but that's what it was. I worked within the boundaries of the rules for trying to get my kids in the better middle school. It didn't work. So, I just put them in private school. I could have moved, but that was really difficult when the housing market busted.

What I have found where I live is that the caliber of education is pretty much the same at all schools within the county; however, it's the students who change. If there is a lot of economic diversity and rich kids versus poor kids, then there's a lot of issues in the school. I think many parents want their kids to go to school with the affluent kids even though they aren't affluent themselves. I agree with the others that you shouldn't be able to do that.

 

[goofyintoronto]

I don't know what the bolded means.

Me either??

Me neither. That makes 3 of us.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No, I would not lie. I cannot live life like that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

What I find disturbing about this thread is that some feel that you should only be entitled to go to a good school if you can afford to, that if you want the better school, you should buy a better home. This is impossible for some. And the attitude scares me. The way it's going, only the affluent will be able to afford an education. Is that what everyone wants?? My children go to school in a great district, however, if I couldn't afford to live here, I can say with absolute certainty that I would lie to get my kids in a better district. You can condemn me for it all you want, I don't care! I pay plenty in taxes, but who am I to say that someone that makes less money than my husband, therefore buys a less expensive house, is not entitled to as good an education as my child. Flame away!!

You are the resident within the zoning boundaries, that's who.

We have a nice house, but the high school stinks. A few miles over and we would be in a better high school.


We are not impoverished by any stretch. But who am I to demand a school to takes child just because we don't like the school that is zoned for us?

That is a scarier attitude to carry such a belief.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I wasn't looking for sympathy, or judgment , just was explaining what I did decades ago. Looking at my life it was probably the only time I did something dishonest. Like I said I would do it again. I kept my kids out of an area of high crime and drug use.

I opened a door for them and they walked through it to better opportunities through education. My kids did learn a valuable lesson: get an education ( like I said I was working and going to college ) don't ever rely on anyone but yourself to support yourself. If I was wrong I'll answer for it. Survival.

 

[mom2rtk]

I happens a lot around here since we are neighbors with a district that lost accreditation a while back. Just pull up to school any morning and you will see some of those kids being dropped off by taxi. Irritates the crap out of me, especially since I have to produce documents every year at enrollment. They just lie and say they are living with some relative in the district.

 

[jodifla]

I live near two of the best school districts in the state. They are adjacent to one of the worst school districts in the state. Literally if you live on one side of a major street, you have access to one of the best school districts in the U.S. State of the art technology, highly qualified teachers, good support systems and great facilities.

If you live on the other side, you are crowded with 40 or 50 kids in a class --- even in elementary school. You have no library access, no technology, broken chairs, teachers who aren't highly qualified, broken playground equipment, no school supplies.

The difference between these districts is race and poverty.


The state tried to disband the broken school district -- it is massively in debt -- but the rich districts around it blocked the move with lobbying. I certainly wouldn't be surprised or angry if the parents lied to get their kids out of the situation.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I happens a lot around here since we are neighbors with a district that lost accreditation a while back. Just pull up to school any morning and you will see some of those kids being dropped off by taxi. Irritates the crap out of me, especially since I have to produce documents every year at enrollment. They just lie and say they are living with some relative in the district.

I get what people are saying and what they are feeling. In my posts I was showing the other side of it. Yes we took advantage of having a relative in a better area. The relative that paid school taxes and had no kids. Life isn't always black and white and sometimes you have to do what you never thought you would. Again no regrets, no loss of sleep, no feelings of guilt. When I watched my kids graduate from top colleges what I did in the lower years wasn't a blip on my radar.

 

[nugov2]

True, but that's a case of "a few bad apples". It doesn't take much in terms of demographics to have a huge impact, especially when coupled with inadequate funding and (more often than not) aging facilities that require more upkeep dollars than their newer counterparts in affluent areas. Is it really right to say to those students who are doing their best to rise above a bad situation, "Too bad. If you want an education your parents will need to find a way to afford a more expensive home"?

We have one of the top districts in our state, we feed into a HS often ranking the top in the nation. We spend $6,000 per student while the average of the state is 11,000. It is proof you don't need a lot of money to produce results. Community involvement is huge IMO in having good schools with high performing students. It takes a village and all that!

Our district has cracked down big time to block people from coming into our district. I am glad. We pay a boatload of taxes to live in this neighborhood. We could have a ton more if we lived in an area with less taxes, but we picked what is important to us and that was good schools. You can find a middle ground if you can't afford a top district. A small house/townhouse in a decent district.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I wasn't looking for sympathy, or judgment , just was explaining what I did decades ago. Looking at my life it was probably the only time I did something dishonest. Like I said I would do it again. I kept my kids out of an area of high crime and drug use.

I opened a door for them and they walked through it to better opportunities through education. My kids did learn a valuable lesson: get an education ( like I said I was working and going to college ) don't ever rely on anyone but yourself to support yourself. If I was wrong I'll answer for it. Survival.

I didn't think you were. It did read as though you were admonishing folks for disapproving of such a choice to lie. Almost as though someone can only disapprove of they had walked a mile in your shoes.

Survival is not a valid excuse. Your lack of guilt doesn't make it okay. I guess if a child missed an opportunity because your child took their spot, you would think this okay. I don't get that mentality at all.

But hey--at least your kids have a leg up and don't have to lie and cheat as grown ups. Funny how many in your shoes can say the same thing within lying for their children.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I happens a lot around here since we are neighbors with a district that lost accreditation a while back. Just pull up to school any morning and you will see some of those kids being dropped off by taxi. Irritates the crap out of me, especially since I have to produce documents every year at enrollment. They just lie and say they are living with some relative in the district.

I don't know the specifics, but I know that once a school loses accredidtion here, the rules change. And if you live within that district, it become much easier to legally put your kids elsewhere.

 

[luvsJack]

My mom lied for me for one school year. The road we live on was the dividing line for two schools. One in a decent area and a good school. The other in an area that was known for criminal activity constantly an it was a horrible school. At first I went to private school but the school closed.

A man that lived across the road from us let her use his address so that I could go to the better public school. Mom's uncle died and left her a tiny little trailer and they put it in the man's yard so that we could say me and mom lived there.

The difference in the two schools wasn't just about academics, it was my safety. If we had been put in the same situation with my kids, I would have done the same.

The worst part of it, was that Mom and Dad didn't just pick a house on the wrong side of the road. When they bought our house and my siblings were in school, the line was somewhere else and we were in the better school's district, they state moved the district lines.



Fast forward to when my sons were in jr. high. A friend of ds's came to live with us in 7th grade. The child's mom just moved off and left him! She figured he and his brother could continue living in the house and fend for themselves to go to school. His brother was in high school. The boy came to live with us and the school kept asking for documentation that he wasn't just living with us just to go to school. I couldn't get anything from the mother, I only had contact with the grandmother and the boy's aunt. I just ignored their requests and got him through 7th and 8th grade. I didn't really lie, but I didn't give them the documentation they asked for either.