I'm so flippin' petty!

[Allison]

It's unreal. The OP herself said not one negative thing about this woman,

I know. I don't get it. It seems to be an internet mob mentality.

 

[DRDISNEYMD]

~Just based on what you've written, they seem jealous and competitive to me. I don't think you're petty, I think it's nice of you to put up with them! I would have cut them off a long time ago, lol. Have a great trip!

 

[WDSearcher]

Are you being petty? Who knows, I don't think that really matters. What matters is that you aren't feeling good about this and you need figure what to do so that you don't feel so bad.

I personally would not help her with any planning. I wouldn't even mention that June is crowded. Let her figure that out for herself. Unless of course, you actually WANT to help her and will have fun doing that. If not, just tell her you are busy planning your own trip and you unfortunatly can't plan yet another trip for her because it's just too time consuming.

As for them going before you, I think that's great. If they went after you'd feel jealous that they are going and wishing that you could go again. Whereas as it is, them going and coming back to brag about it will make you want to go to Disney really bad and you actually ARE going to go just a few short months after them. So that could actually make you even more excited for you trip and make you look forward to it even more.

Like others have said, I would re evaluate this friendship and see if the pros outweigh the cons. Just by the little you shared in this thread it seems to me that this person is not the type of person I would want in my life. Certainly not as a friend. But anyway, that is for you to decide.

Just try to keep in mind that your trip will be much better for YOU. You will be going during a time where crowds are much better, you will wait in line less, you will have a more pleasant child with you, you actually know Disney well. So even if they claim they have everything better than you, that's not necessarily true. Try to focus on all the good things you have and don't worry about others.

And remember, someone who is truly happy and content with what they have, does not feel the need to brag to others or act superior.

Careful, though, because someone who is truly happy and content with what they have does not feel the need to complain about what others have or act petty.

Flips both ways.

 

[WillAustin]

Sounds a bit more like someone wanting to do what they can to protect their child more than jealousy to me.

 

[SaraJayne]

~Just based on what you've written, they seem jealous and competitive to me. I don't think you're petty, I think it's nice of you to put up with them! I would have cut them off a long time ago, lol. Have a great trip!

And here I thought the OP sounded jealous and competitive.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

If it's going to bother you why not just give her the websites and be done with the discussion? You don't have to give her everything you have done just send her in the right direction.

I get the sense that you wish that you could be more money free like her family. May or May not be true just the way you gave info.

Is it fair that her son hide things because your son can't have them?

 

[atp]

Careful, though, because someone who is truly happy and content with what they have does not feel the need to complain about what others have or act petty.

Flips both ways.

It sure does. I'm thinking if OP was 100% happy with her life she would not care at all what others did and wouldn't be here complaining. It's all about perspective and realizing that, most of the time, your life is in fact pretty good and you don't need to worry so much about others. But that can be hard to do when you are around someone who makes their life seem so perfect and easy.

Which is why I pointed that out, OP's life isn't perfect, but neither is her friend's. No need for anyone to be jealous of anyone.

 

[BradyS71]

I don't think you are being petty. Its your research, your planning and more importantly its your time. I just got back from our first trip and did all the planning other then when we were going and where we were going to stay and I had no idea how much work it was. So I would just let her know that you don't have time to help her and maybe she should contact a travel agent. If she pushes back just asked to be compensated. Or you could just send her a link to here and say the two times of year are so different that the plans should be different as well.

 

[dragonfly57005]

I would direct her to the nearest book store.

 

[marielynn724]

I don't think you are being petty at all. I can see how someone's behavior constantly bothering your child is irksom. The kid really sounds like a BRAT and probably not a good influence on your son. Honestly I wouldn't let my child hang out with another kid like that.

As to their taking a trip before you, after your son hears all about their trip, he will just be even more excited and psyched up for yours!

 

[mjkacmom]

~Just based on what you've written, they seem jealous and competitive to me. I don't think you're petty, I think it's nice of you to put up with them! I would have cut them off a long time ago, lol. Have a great trip!

Just for fun, could you please cut and paste the portion of the OP's initial post that lead you to believe that they are jealous and competitive, to the point that, if they were your friends, you would've cut them off a long time ago.

 

[WDSearcher]

Would love to know what the OP decided to do, since when last we saw our intrepid heroine, she had been texted by her friend and had not yet answered.

I hate it when we don't get a denoument!

 

[DaisyMaisie]

I am 45 years old and I can still remember clear as a bell when we were planning a trip to Busch gardens and a neighbor kid was telling me about the trip they had just gotten back from.

It made me so excited for our trip! I even remember the anticipation more clearly than the trip.

Hey the good news here is that this time when the other kid brags it is going to be about something your kid will get to do.

 

[jorybella]

I don't think you are petty at all! I think this parent is LAZY! Make your own plans don't steal somebody else's. I would lay low, and like a few other people said, tell her that you haven't really done a lot of reservations, etc..

It is hard when a friend of your child has little to no rules and/or supervision. We have an 11 year old son and we have had this issue in the past.

As far as the bragging, we call our neighbors kids the "ONE UPPERS" because are always trying to one up everything our son does. Doesn't usually work for them because he could care less BUT it will rake your nerves when you hear it.

Good luck and HAVE FUN. Disney really, truly is MAGICAL. Do not let this person ruin your trip. You guys are gonna love it!!!

 

[An_Island_Girl]

Our friends told us all about a trip they were planning to Aruba... we got a free weekend, and decided to go see what the fuss was all about. It was a great time!
We certainly weren't trying to beat our friend to see who could get there first. That's just childish. It sounded like a fun time, so we went. If our friends could afford to go sooner, or couldn't get the time off from work, or figure out a sitter for a little bit, it's certainly not our fault that we were able to go before them.

To the OP... It's a pity that your children have to suffer for a whole year (give up activities as you said) jut for one week of fun. Maybe to make up for feeling like they were missing out on the other fun stuff that your friends kid could still do, your own child may have been playing up the "yeah, but we're going to Disney aspect" Bragging in their own way. Who knows, but Disney is a fun time for all, and you should be just as excited for their family to have a good time as you would hope they would be for yours.

I'm sure on a well-to-do forum somewhere there is someone complaining about their jealous neighbor, saying, "It's not my fault they don't have as much money as us." Two sides to the same coin. They just look different depending on what side's facing you at the moment.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I don't think you are petty at all! I think this parent is LAZY! Make your own plans don't steal somebody else's. I would lay low, and like a few other people said, tell her that you haven't really done a lot of reservations, etc..

It is hard when a friend of your child has little to no rules and/or supervision. We have an 11 year old son and we have had this issue in the past.

As far as the bragging, we call our neighbors kids the "ONE UPPERS" because are always trying to one up everything our son does. Doesn't usually work for them because he could care less BUT it will rake your nerves when you hear it.

Good luck and HAVE FUN. Disney really, truly is MAGICAL. Do not let this person ruin your trip. You guys are gonna love it!!!

I had no idea plans for a visit to an theme park were so proprietary. I mean how freaking original can the OP be? The OP should be flattered, not ticked off.

Please let us know exactly how the friend is trying to one up the OP? Staying at the same resort hardly is oneupmanship by any stretch of the word.

The only bragging is what the OP states the 8 year old boys says. We have no idea exactly what he is saying. And the kid is 8. She assume he will have more spending money and will brag about it, but we have no idea if that is true in any way.

Really, it's ok to be a bit jealous occasionally. We're all human. I admit, I was jealous when a friend got a new car from her husband for her birthday. However, I got over it. The OP really should just own up to her envy and move on.

 

[2Monkeys]

We have been scrimping and saving and planning our trip to Disney for months. We have been waiting for years to go. My kids are 9 now and we get to go in September!

This is a very big deal for our family. We are doing without a lot of things so we can go. The kids are forgoing a lot of activities for a year so we can have the money for the trip. The children are working hard to earn their own spending money for the trip. This is the one thing my kids have in their lives that make them feel extra special.

It will mean more to your kids because they don't always get everything, and this is something you all have worked for. These will be treasured memories for them; probably a trip they will remember forever.

Here's why I'm petty: I have a friend who has a son, 8 years-old, who is friends with my son. This family makes quite a bit more money than we do and their son is always talking about the latest great thing he or his family got. My son gets jealous and we explain that lots of people have more stuff than we do, and lots of people have less stuff than we do. He understands, but his friend is quite braggy and it makes my son feel bad. Also, my son's friend is allowed to do just about anything including riding in the front seat of the car, ride without a seatbelt, ride bikes without a helmet, stay home alone for long stretches, see rated PG-13 movies, etc., etc. Of course I think the lack of safety is ridiculous, but my son thinks his friend is being treated more grown-up than he is. I have explained it and my son is smart and gets it, but his friend is always calling us overprotective which makes my son feel like a baby in comparison.

Ok, so I tell my kid to suck it up and we get on with life.

Is this kid really a friend if he constantly makes your son feel bad? Maybe finding new friends is part of the answer here. Honestly, if I knew another parent was allowing their child to do unsafe things, or things that did not go along with our parenting style, I would not let my child go to their house.

SO THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE OUR EXACT TRIP BEFORE WE DO!

Not if you don't give her all of the details.

As others have suggested, give her a few websites that you have used and let her plan her own trip. Don't give up many details telling her that all of your plans are not firm yet.

I totally understand the 'mama bear' instinct and not wanting to diminish the 'specialness' of this vacation. But seriously, is their trip really going to mean as much to the other boy as yours will to your kids? Probably not.

I don't think you are being petty, I think you are being protective of your kids and of the time, effort & sacrifice that has gone into planning this trip. Go & have a wonderful time, and don't let this situation diminish how much it means to your family.

 

[bookgirl]

We have been scrimping and saving and planning our trip to Disney for months. We have been waiting for years to go. My kids are 9 now and we get to go in September!

This is a very big deal for our family. We are doing without a lot of things so we can go. The kids are forgoing a lot of activities for a year so we can have the money for the trip. The children are working hard to earn their own spending money for the trip. This is the one thing my kids have in their lives that make them feel extra special.

Here's why I'm petty: I have a friend who has a son, 8 years-old, who is friends with my son. This family makes quite a bit more money than we do and their son is always talking about the latest great thing he or his family got. My son gets jealous and we explain that lots of people have more stuff than we do, and lots of people have less stuff than we do. He understands, but his friend is quite braggy and it makes my son feel bad. Also, my son's friend is allowed to do just about anything including riding in the front seat of the car, ride without a seatbelt, ride bikes without a helmet, stay home alone for long stretches, see rated PG-13 movies, etc., etc. Of course I think the lack of safety is ridiculous, but my son thinks his friend is being treated more grown-up than he is. I have explained it and my son is smart and gets it, but his friend is always calling us overprotective which makes my son feel like a baby in comparison.

Ok, so I tell my kid to suck it up and we get on with life.

Here's what bothers me: My friend casually asked me where we were staying at WDW. I told her Bonnet Creek and asked her why she was asking. She said because they have decided to take a WDW trip in June and since I had been researching, she was going to pick my brain. She wants the touring plans, restaurant recdommendations, discounted tix, etc. SO THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE OUR EXACT TRIP BEFORE WE DO!

Can they do whatever they please on their vacation? Of course

Is it thier life to do as they want? Yes

Is it my fault they have so much money and a sort-of mean kid? Nope

Do I know this is petty: Yes

Does it still make me upset? YES!

Why? I don't know!!!

I guess this is such a huge deal in our house and it was really making the kids feel special and yes, it will still be a great trip no matter what anyone else does. But his friend is still going to brag and they will probably do things we will never be able to do and be given tons of spending moeny for doing nothing and it IS going to take the shine off our anticipation for the trip.

This was all over text messaging and I haven't responded yet.

OK, bring on the criticisms. I can take it.

Petty, maybe, but honestly I'd be annoyed as well. I'd give her the basics (dates, adr at 180, fp basics) then i'd give her the websites to visit and that would be it. You aren't her travel agent and you aren't her assistant. That would be the least I'd be willing to do, I might do more if we were chatting but I wouldn't give her my exact plans and I would not do her research for her.

 

[MHSweb79]

I think the OP has made it clear that she's human and she's not so proud of feeling so petty, but she's feeling it anyway! It's tough to struggle when others seem to have it so easy.

Anyway, it's true: they can't take your EXACT same vacation if you don't tell them what your exact vacation is. June Disney and September Disney are completely different experiences anyway.

I'm also hoping the OP comes back and tells us what she's decided to do.

 

[LaurenT]

Tell her that you've heard that the parks can turn into a very long day with a
lot of walking, so it's best to rest up in the mornings and hit the parks around 11 am.
Dining isn't usually a problem in June - she should just see what they're in the mood for each day and then go to that restaurant. She should get the 10 day non expire PH WPF&M ticket to make sure she has everything covered. Make sure she knows that she can use a FP anytime, no matter what the sign on the machine says.
Then, if she's not happy with her trip, apologize and tell her you've never been a very good planner and maybe she should do her own research.