What do you think of Miley Cyrus' new video - Party in the USA?

[mjkacmom]

Im glad we arent the only ones making a stand against Mileys behaviour. I havwent seen the video, dont care too see it. We had been questioning for some time her actions, but hey, she is in the spotlight, she is young so we tried to overlook some fault on her part. But a few weeks back, she was on the Teen Choice Awards and made a very bold but ignorant move IMO and my familys opinion.
Miley chose to dance while using a very suggestive pole/stripper type moves!! Her dad is sitting in the audience with approval on his face. OK this is the straw that breaks it for us! DD, who writes in a teen column for our local paper blasted her with all four barrels. Yes its just opinion, but I was proud that my 16 yr old knows right/wrong and took a stand. Mileys new cd came out a few days ago, DD refuses to buy.
I get it, Miley is trying to shed the HM image, but she is going way to far with it!!

So you are making a stand over a video you haven't seen? I saw it - it was cute! Heck, when I was around that age, I was going to clubs in NYC, and I assure you, I was not wearing turtlenecks and skirts. Dancing my butt off to "It's Raining Men" and "Native Love." Your 16 year old took a stand against a Miley video? Even my honor student concert choir dd13 is too cool for Miley!

 

[bdiddy]

Reading some of these posts I had sudden deja vu from the 80's with Tipper Gore and heavy metal.....does anyone remember that?

 

[princessmom29]

Reading some of these posts I had sudden deja vu from the 80's with Tipper Gore and heavy metal.....does anyone remember that?

Totally, like, ya know? The whole heavy metal makes you a satanist serial killer thing, right?

 

[bdiddy]

Totally, like, ya know? The whole heavy metal makes you a satanist serial killer thing, right?

LOL! I was a total headbanger - wore all black, Metallica shirts, jean jacket with the back patch on it! I was also in a gifted program, a great student at the top of my class, have never done a drug in my life, was in college before I had sex AND have only drank a handful of times in my life as an adult. Did everything the "right" way by going to college, getting married just after I graduated, getting settled and financially secure before we had a baby 5 yrs later, etc....

Luckily, I had parents who were "cool" and knew that pop culture and fashion fads weren't going to turn me into a satanist or trashy *****. They let me express myself while instilling good morals in me. Even with my parents being so cool there were still very strict rules in our house - my Dad was a drill sargeant! My parents just chose to not censor real life and teach me right from wrong.

If you are raising your kid right in the first place, listening to some music, watching some videos or following fashion trends IS NOT going to ruin them. If it does, then the parents are to blame!

 

[Jasperann]

LOL! I was a total headbanger - wore all black, Metallica shirts, jean jacket with the back patch on it! I was also in a gifted program, a great student at the top of my class, have never done a drug in my life, was in college before I had sex AND have only drank a handful of times in my life as an adult. Did everything the "right" way by going to college, getting married just after I graduated, getting settled and financially secure before we had a baby 5 yrs later, etc....

Luckily, I had parents who were "cool" and knew that pop culture and fashion fads weren't going to turn me into a satanist or trashy *****. They let me express myself while instilling good morals in me. Even with my parents being so cool there were still very strict rules in our house - my Dad was a drill sargeant! My parents just chose to not censor real life and teach me right from wrong.

If you are raising your kid right in the first place, listening to some music, watching some videos or following fashion trends IS NOT going to ruin them. If it does, then the parents are to blame!

 

[princessmom29]

LOL! I was a total headbanger - wore all black, Metallica shirts, jean jacket with the back patch on it! I was also in a gifted program, a great student at the top of my class, have never done a drug in my life, was in college before I had sex AND have only drank a handful of times in my life as an adult. Did everything the "right" way by going to college, getting married just after I graduated, getting settled and financially secure before we had a baby 5 yrs later, etc....

Luckily, I had parents who were "cool" and knew that pop culture and fashion fads weren't going to turn me into a satanist or trashy *****. They let me express myself while instilling good morals in me. Even with my parents being so cool there were still very strict rules in our house - my Dad was a drill sargeant! My parents just chose to not censor real life and teach me right from wrong.

If you are raising your kid right in the first place, listening to some music, watching some videos or following fashion trends IS NOT going to ruin them. If it does, then the parents are to blame!

this is the way I approach raising DD as well, and what my parents did with me. In describing yourself you are describing me ad DH perfectly. Both responsible sane honor students who just happened to think Metallica was the greatest thing ever! Totally love the S&M (San Fansisco and Metallica for all the non metal heads)CD with the San Fransisco sympthony. My all time favorite!!

 

[mjkacmom]

LOL! I was a total headbanger - wore all black, Metallica shirts, jean jacket with the back patch on it! I was also in a gifted program, a great student at the top of my class, have never done a drug in my life, was in college before I had sex AND have only drank a handful of times in my life as an adult. Did everything the "right" way by going to college, getting married just after I graduated, getting settled and financially secure before we had a baby 5 yrs later, etc....

Luckily, I had parents who were "cool" and knew that pop culture and fashion fads weren't going to turn me into a satanist or trashy *****. They let me express myself while instilling good morals in me. Even with my parents being so cool there were still very strict rules in our house - my Dad was a drill sargeant! My parents just chose to not censor real life and teach me right from wrong.

If you are raising your kid right in the first place, listening to some music, watching some videos or following fashion trends IS NOT going to ruin them. If it does, then the parents are to blame!

Me too! My parents did a great job raising me. We had a big house, dinner together every night, dad was on the board of ed, mom president of the league of women voters, and even though my mom looked like she stepped out of an LL Bean catalogue, she never batted an eye at some of the things I would wear. I graduated from college, married a guy I've known since I was 12 (his mom would let him borrow her red hair dye to color his mohawk - he now has an MBA and is a CFP who wears a suit every day), and had children.

 

[Running_Bell]

I coach a young girl's cheer squad, and a young girls 5K club, have a daughter and work at a university... I see upclose the effects of media and pop culture on girls and women. There are some great success stories here... wonderful... but it doesn't hide the fact (and these are facts that have been researched and reported) that MOST girls do not like their bodies, MOST girls find themselves to be fat, MOST girls believe that attention from guys (no matter what kind) makes them feel good, MOST girls say they will try anything including becoming anorexic and bulimic to be accepted, and MOST girls say that they are influenced by what is on TV, magazines, celebrities, etc. This isn't about hair, or going to metalica concerts... who hasn't had a crazy decade.. I grew up in the 80s..... talk about hair... this is about young girls being influenced by pop culture to look a certain way and act a certain way to be accepted...... girls trying to be "sexy" at 10? going on diets when they are stick thin? It's really sad.

 

[Hannathy]

Reading some of these posts I had sudden deja vu from the 80's with Tipper Gore and heavy metal.....does anyone remember that?

Heck a few pages back I reminded a few on here about Goldie Hawn on Laugh In let alone fast forward to the 80"s!!!!!

Right now my DD 17 has fuchsia hair and very hi heeled gladiator type shoes. I always tell her no tattoos or piercings otherwise anything goes. she has had bright pink at another time. It has really hurt her, she was just chosen for the newspaper by her school(teachers and administration) for the girl scholar of the week for this year-each school in the area get 2 a year. (not a litle school) She also wear short skirts and shorts. and has cami's show-the horror! Of course to science competitions she dresses conservatively and for orchestra concerts but for fun then she dresses to have fun like teenagers have always done (including myself back in the dark ages)

 

[mjkacmom]

It's sad that sex is used to sell EVERYTHING... even Miley Cirus... and even sadder that too many girls/women do not see it. .

Sex has been used to sell everything since the beginning of advertising. I don't think Miley is going to change that in any way, even if she performed a polka dance in a video.

 

[princessmom29]

I coach a young girl's cheer squad, and a young girls 5K club, have a daughter and work at a university... I see upclose the effects of media and pop culture on girls and women. There are some great success stories here... wonderful... but it doesn't hide the fact (and these are facts that have been researched and reported) that MOST girls do not like their bodies, MOST girls find themselves to be fat, MOST girls believe that attention from guys (no matter what kind) makes them feel good, MOST girls say they will try anything including becoming anorexic and bulimic to be accepted, and MOST girls say that they are influenced by what is on TV, magazines, celebrities, etc. This isn't about hair, or going to metalica concerts... who hasn't had a crazy decade.. I grew up in the 80s..... talk about hair... this is about young girls being influenced by pop culture to look a certain way and act a certain way to be accepted...... girls trying to be "sexy" at 10? going on diets when they are stick thin? It's really sad.

The answer is to teach your child better, and to foster self esteem at home. I don't think it is the media's fault, but a result of the fact that many young girls do not hear "you are a great kid" often enough form mom and dad. We have gotten so busy as a society that family time is no longer what it was, and girls are not getting the positive attention they need at home to foster self esteem, so they are looking for it elswhere. The pressure to look, act and dress a certain way has always been around, but has never had such an influence before because life was has been more home and family centered in the past. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Running_Bell]

Sex has been used to sell everything since the beginning of advertising. I don't think Miley is going to change that in any way, even if she performed a polka dance in a video.
Today 11:32 AM

It doesn't make it right.... there is much more to this than can be understood here on this message board. I have had the job of researching this exact topic and how it has progressed through the years.... and it's impact on young girls... it's quite alarming. If you don't believe it.... research it for yourself.....

 

[mjkacmom]

It doesn't make it right.... there is much more to this than can be understood here on this message board. I have had the job of researching this exact topic and how it has progressed through the years.... and it's impact on young girls... it's quite alarming. If you don't believe it.... research it for yourself.....

I do believe it, but I also believe things will never change, and it's up to us, as parents, to empower our children to look beyond these messages.

 

[bdiddy]

I coach a young girl's cheer squad, and a young girls 5K club, have a daughter and work at a university... I see upclose the effects of media and pop culture on girls and women. There are some great success stories here... wonderful... but it doesn't hide the fact (and these are facts that have been researched and reported) that MOST girls do not like their bodies, MOST girls find themselves to be fat, MOST girls believe that attention from guys (no matter what kind) makes them feel good, MOST girls say they will try anything including becoming anorexic and bulimic to be accepted, and MOST girls say that they are influenced by what is on TV, magazines, celebrities, etc. This isn't about hair, or going to metalica concerts... who hasn't had a crazy decade.. I grew up in the 80s..... talk about hair... this is about young girls being influenced by pop culture to look a certain way and act a certain way to be accepted...... girls trying to be "sexy" at 10? going on diets when they are stick thin? It's really sad.

I agree with some of what you are saying but it all comes back to what kind of home life these girls have. A girl/teen that is becoming anorexic, bulimic, having sex at a young age, etc... has far greater issues going on in their home life then watching a Miley Cyrus video or reading fashion magazines.

And what kind of 10 yr old wants to diet and be stick thin? One who is learning that from her own mother and doesn't have positive role models - of course she is being influenced by tv....she obviously has no one else sending the right message. Yes, kids are going to be influenced by pop culture BUT the parents are to be blamed for these young girls with all these issues - not Miley Cyrus.

How else have so many others (including many of us on here) done the exact same things and NOT had issues? Because we had good parents and a positive home life.

Like I said before if you are raising your children right then your influence as a parent will far outweigh the influence of pop culture.

 

[Hannathy]

I actually think today's generation of teen girls have a better view and acceptance of their bodies than previous generations. I see a lot more girls in the high school with normal or even more than normal bodies than in years past. When I was in HS everyone had to be thin and there was a lot more anorexia and conformity as far as body shape. In my graduating class we even had a death from anorexia and I had a college room mate and a boss with it in the late 70's. And can anybody forget Twiggy?

The problem starts IMO when little girls that should be playing with dolls are allowed to watch and pretend to be teens way before their time. 6 yr olds don't need to be watching and listening to pop songs and dressing up as tho they are teens. If the parents didn't introduce music videos and pop songs to first graders but kept it for 11 yr olds it never would have become a problem.

I don't blame Disney, their only responsibility is to their stock holders because they are a business and that is to make money. If parents now a days are so silly as to buy teen stuff and encourage this stuff for 6 yr olds then more power to Disney!

 

[Shannalee724]

It is all in how a child is raised. If you as a parent don't like something or you don't agree with something, until they have a job to buy stuff for their self you hold all the control. Just don't buy it and don't watch it. Seriously, if the video offends you don't watch it, change the channel or better yet turn off the TV!!! If you don't like the short shorts then don't buy them for your preteens! You set the standard in your own home, not Miley, not Disney, and not anyone else! But please keep in mind, just because a teen is wearing short shorts and a tank top it doesn't make them the least bit trampy.




Do you have issues with bathing suits too? (You do realize that the bra is there so that you don't see what is under the bra... not so you don't see the bra) My daughter wears short shorts (actually they are cut off jeans) and that doesn't make her a tramp or anything close to it.

Where do you live??? My daughter is in the 8th grade and she hasn't even kissed a boy yet! Her boyfriend broke up with her because she wouldn't hold hands with him. (I know his mom and we are very close to their whole family, our kids have grown up together. And that is what he told his mom...)



I loved Johnny Depp when he was on 21 Jump Street. I was a teenager at the time too... He was so yummy! But he is quite the hotty now too.

The kid that plays Jacob is kinda cute, but isn't he 18 now?

You know, I find it amusing that I am being attacked for my opinion. Especially when I didn't attack anyone one else. I didn't say you or anyone else was wrong, just stated what is not allowed in my house and how I truly feel that we are sexualizing our children too young. Nope, I don't have a problem with bathing suits. My daughter even wears a two piece. However it isn't made out of string. It is cute and modest all at the same time.

I don't expect her to dress like a pilgrim. For goodness sake, she is an all-star cheerleader and wears sports bras and shorts to practice. Her uniform is mid drift. Showing skin isn't a problem. I think there is a line that you cross. When it goes from mid-drift to "why bother" or shorts to "almost too small to be panties."

Miley's video, while tame by societal standards, is still on the suggestive side. Do I have a problem with it? No, not really. Should it be played on Disney Channel, probably not. ABC family would be a better place for it.

Someone asked for statistics: Here you go by the age of 14, 20 - 25% of girls are now sexually experienced. I don't blame the media or tv necessarily. I just think it is silly that there are shows like Degrassi aimed at Jr. High kids and magazines all over the supermarket with the word SEX in bold print. I do teach my kids what I believe is right. I just find it disheartening that I am so outnumbered.

I coach a young girl's cheer squad, and a young girls 5K club, have a daughter and work at a university... I see upclose the effects of media and pop culture on girls and women. There are some great success stories here... wonderful... but it doesn't hide the fact (and these are facts that have been researched and reported) that MOST girls do not like their bodies, MOST girls find themselves to be fat, MOST girls believe that attention from guys (no matter what kind) makes them feel good, MOST girls say they will try anything including becoming anorexic and bulimic to be accepted, and MOST girls say that they are influenced by what is on TV, magazines, celebrities, etc. This isn't about hair, or going to metalica concerts... who hasn't had a crazy decade.. I grew up in the 80s..... talk about hair... this is about young girls being influenced by pop culture to look a certain way and act a certain way to be accepted...... girls trying to be "sexy" at 10? going on diets when they are stick thin? It's really sad.

Thank you

 

[Running_Bell]

The problem starts IMO when little girls that should be playing with dolls are allowed to watch and pretend to be teens way before their time. 6 yr olds don't need to be watching and listening to pop songs and dressing up as tho they are teens. If the parents didn't introduce music videos and pop songs to first graders but kept it for 11 yr olds it never would have become a problem.

I agree with that.

It does start in the home... absolutely. I love the quote from an admired author "our significance isn't based on the approval of others".

This is a great discusssion.

 

[Jasperann]

You know, I find it amusing that I am being attacked for my opinion. Especially when I didn't attack anyone one else. I didn't say you or anyone else was wrong, just stated what is not allowed in my house and how I truly feel that we are sexualizing our children too young. Nope, I don't have a problem with bathing suits. My daughter even wears a two piece. However it isn't made out of string. It is cute and modest all at the same time.

I don't expect her to dress like a pilgrim. For goodness sake, she is an all-star cheerleader and wears sports bras and shorts to practice. Her uniform is mid drift. Showing skin isn't a problem. I think there is a line that you cross. When it goes from mid-drift to "why bother" or shorts to "almost too small to be panties."

Miley's video, while tame by societal standards, is still on the suggestive side. Do I have a problem with it? No, not really. Should it be played on Disney Channel, probably not. ABC family would be a better place for it.

Someone asked for statistics: Here you go by the age of 14, 20 - 25% of girls are now sexually experienced. I don't blame the media or tv necessarily. I just think it is silly that there are shows like Degrassi aimed at Jr. High kids and magazines all over the supermarket with the word SEX in bold print. I do teach my kids what I believe is right. I just find it disheartening that I am so outnumbered.




Thank you

Just so you know, I wasn't attacking you're opinion. I was honestly asking how you felt about bathing suits, because your view came across very harsh to me. On the statistics... that is scary. I am grateful enough in my area to not know of any girls that are that young. Even the two girls that baby sit for me who are Juniors and Seniors in High School aren't sexually active, my adoptive daughter (cousin really, but I helped raise her) is going to be 18 and she is so picky that she hasn't even had a boyfriend yet (guess none of them live up to her expectations). On a side note, I thought that Degrassi was amid for High School?? At any rate that isn't a show that my daughter is allowed to watch either way.

I agree with a lot of what you said, I just don't think that teens wearing some outfits is wrong, preteens is a whole different story.. If my 5 and 6 year old decided to try to wear something like that (not that they could...cause I don't buy that kind of stuff for them) I would take it from them. If it is to showing for my family, then my daughter isn't even bought it.

I guess what I'm trying to say... and it's is hard to come across right on a message board, is that if you are raising your children right, then you are not going to have an issue if they watch a video that is mildly suggestive, or wear clothes that don't completely cover them up (Bathing suits show far more and are worn every summer by thousands of children). That isn't going to change the years of things you've instilled in them (like self pride). Should a video like that be on after a Handy Manny show, absolutely not it's not for 3 and 4 year olds.

Can we all just and make up???

 

[ogreenlee]

i'm not going to read all of this b/c i'll just get irritated, i'm sure.

i happened to see a friend's set of photos from her sons prom last year. his girlfriend's dress was... o.m.g. her friends weren't dressed any better. i'm sorry, but they looked like cheap *****s. "provocative" 20 years ago was a lot less risque than what the girls wear today. we would have never been allowed into our prom with these dresses. girls at the grammy's don't dress like that. these girls think they look awesome, but they don't realize how cheap they look.

 

[Shannalee724]

Just so you know, I wasn't attacking you're opinion. I was honestly asking how you felt about bathing suits, because your view came across very harsh to me. On the statistics... that is scary. I am grateful enough in my area to not know of any girls that are that young. Even the two girls that baby sit for me who are Juniors and Seniors in High School aren't sexually active, my adoptive daughter (cousin really, but I helped raise her) is going to be 18 and she is so picky that she hasn't even had a boyfriend yet (guess none of them live up to her expectations). On a side note, I thought that Degrassi was amid for High School?? At any rate that isn't a show that my daughter is allowed to watch either way.

I agree with a lot of what you said, I just don't think that teens wearing some outfits is wrong, preteens is a whole different story.. If my 5 and 6 year old decided to try to wear something like that (not that they could...cause I don't buy that kind of stuff for them) I would take it from them. If it is to showing for my family, then my daughter isn't even bought it.

I guess what I'm trying to say... and it's is hard to come across right on a message board, is that if you are raising your children right, then you are not going to have an issue if they watch a video that is mildly suggestive, or wear clothes that don't completely cover them up (Bathing suits show far more and are worn every summer by thousands of children). That isn't going to change the years of things you've instilled in them (like self pride). Should a video like that be on after a Handy Manny show, absolutely not it's not for 3 and 4 year olds.

Can we all just and make up???

Awww!!! Absolutely!! I am sorry I came accross so harsh as well. This just hit a hot button issue for me and I got on my soapbox and started ranting. I just wish society would let our kids stay innocent longer. Sometimes I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle!